I had two hours before we went hunting. Paris was at his royal council—but he had assigned two guards to me that I couldn’t shake no matter how much I ordered them to leave me alone.

I finally thought of a way that they might let me visit Morgan. I said to the two guards, “can you two guard me while I go visit the dastard who tried to kill me? I just… Want to know his motive for romancing my sister and why he killed that guard in such a—horrifying manner.”

The two guards looked at each other. “That sounds dangerous, My Queen. The king wouldn’t like it.”

I made a face with my back turned to them.

I had to smooth talk them...

I turned to them with a grin and my hands clasped in front of me hopefully. “I have the utmost confidence in your abilities to protect me! There’s no reason to fear!”

The guards looked very flattered at that. After a moment they said hesitantly, “well, when you put it like that…”

“I’ve never been down there before, can you please take me there?” I asked them.

And they guided me down to the bowels of the castle where the dungeon lay.

It was dark and it smelled horribly. I was frightened and glad to have the guards with me.

There were rows of cells lined up in the torchlit dungeon and I spotted Morgan hugging his knees on the ground of one.

I approached him with my two guards in tow and I mustered the most disgusted look I could for the sake of the guards while demanded. “What were you planning on doing with my sister?”

Morgan met my eyes with tears in his own. “I wasn’t planning on doing anything with her! I liked her… I really liked her.”

“Lies! You were planning on sacrificing her in some way to your hideous false god—weren’t you?” I accused him with convincing righteousness. “Is that what you did with that poor guard?”

Morgan was weeping in fear. “I never wanted any of this to happen! I—”

I turned to the guards with a convincingly furious face. “Can you please give us some space? I don’t wish you two to hear a lady curse.”

The guards found that to be very amusing and charming and they gave us some space but kept me in view.

I kept my face furious as I asked Morgan in a low tone, “you have only a few minutes to convince me you’re worth saving; tell me everything you know about the wicked god and how he possessed you.”

Morgan looked confused, but then he spluttered, “I was born into the cult of the mothmen—they raised me to be the wicked god’s vessel through torturous techniques--they made me into a soulless, gray thing—that is the only kind of moth the wicked god can possess. But that was not the only requirement. Your sister… The crimson god wanted to let me romance her to get to you.”

For the sake of the guards, I shouted a few loud profanities and then I said to Morgan, “why to get to me?”

“I don’t know… He’s afraid of you.” Morgan replied uncertainly.

What a ridiculous thought! A malevolent and lustful god afraid of me?

“Why did… Why did the lustful god have you dispose of that guard in such a disgusting way?” I asked.

Morgan screwed his eyes shut with the memory and answered, “he was gathering power.”

“Gathering power…?” I asked.

“If he gathers enough, he won’t need to possess a vessel. He will be able to maintain a physical form.” Morgan explained.

“Two more things and quickly; what’s the best way to free you and do you know the meaning behind the menacing black eyes?” I inquired.

“You’d be willing to free me? Truly?” Morgan was shocked. Tears came to his eyes. “Thank you… As for the eyes, they bring out the blackest lust in men. When the malevolent god was resurrected through me, a dove flew into the eyes of every man in every kingdom and planted the seed of lustful malevolence in all of them. Some of them are far more susceptible than others. I do not know if there’s a way to get the doves out, but you certainly coaxed them out of me.”

“Thank you so much!” I wanted to hug him for such useful information. “Now, how do I free you?”

“My Lady… I thank you for your offer to free me, but… You must let me die. The lustful god will possess me again if you let me live—he is gathering energy as we speak. I am sorry you suffered such eternal injuries because of me. Thank you for your kindness.”

“What, no…!” I cried—tears springing unbidden to my eyes. “You live a life of suffering just to end it like this?”

I reached through the bars to try and take his hand, but the guards were at my side in an instant and hauling me away from Morgan.

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“Be careful, My Queen! We all wish harm upon this moth for what he did to you, but he is dangerous! Do you wish for one of us to rough him up in your stead?” They asked me.

I dried my eyes quickly and shook my head. “Just... Just give me a few more minutes with him!”

“Absolutely not, My Lady! The king would have our heads!”

And they hauled me away.

__

Two hours later, Paris took me out with many noble men and ladies of his court to go hunting in the nearby forest of Yuriah. To make the ride easier on my invisible wounds, he rode in a carriage with me.

“You look so down…” Paris commented.

I was lost deep in thought about poor Morgan and I had a budding hatred in my heart at the realization of just how disgusting moths could be.

I leaned on his shoulder with a smile. “I’m just a little tired…”

__

We climbed out of the carriage in front of the forest and joined the other noble men and ladies as the men prepared to mount up.

Paris looked very nervous about socializing before hunting and stood to the side with me instead. I straightened his clothes with a comforting smile and drew his shoulders back. “Shoulders back and chin up, my love. You’ve nothing to hide. Show them your lovely smile.”

Paris looked upon me with lovesick eyes and graced me with a kiss on the forehead.

I watched him go, and he greeted the other men with a strong posture and smile.

I searched the female portion of the crowd for Julia and spotted her easily. Whatever I thought of her, she was an absolutely beautiful lady. Perfect, milky white skin, sunny hair, and a tall and voluptuous figure. More and more, I found myself wishing that I looked like a human and began to find my own reflection very unappealing. Humans were so much more symmetrical with their two arms and legs.

I headed over to Julia who was talking with a brown-haired woman and asked, “can you please give me a moment with Julia?”

The woman nodded and curtsied, “of course, My Queen.”

I turned to Julia with a sincere frown and my head held high. Julia curtsied politely. “It is good to meet you, My Lady. Is there something wrong?”

“Yes. I know the king has promised to give you my templar, Terry, but I would much prefer to keep him here if you don’t mind. It’s nothing personal—it’s just that he is a great friend and comfort to me.” I said to Julia pleasantly.

“Oh! Terry very much had his heart set on coming with me! He was elated when I told him! He wants to see more of moth territory since he hasn’t been to very many places.” She exclaimed. “It would make me and my husband very unhappy if the king took away such a boon…”

Paris would be displeased with me if he found out I made relations between him and his new duke tense. This woman was subtly threatening me.

“We have plenty of guards; why do you want Terry so much?” I asked, trying not to get angry at her.

“Templars have special training; they’re very effective fighters.” Julia lied coolly. “We could use one. Besides, I think it is up to your husband whether Terry goes or stays and he already agreed to it.”

I scratched my cheek, trying to convince her without bringing Paris into it or letting her know I knew about her relationship with Terry. “I must be honest; being a moth, I am not liked by the people and none of the noble ladies are my friends. Terry is really my only one… Please let him stay.”

Julia giggled a little. “My! Even as a queen you moths are so pathetic and mewling! Did you have to order your templar to sleep with you? Shall I tell the king?”

I nearly retched. I was disgusted enough by the fact that she had most likely already slept with him, but doubly disgusted by her suggestion that I had. Moths were meant to remain virgins until their marriages at eighteen and were not considered adults until then. Humans could be so repulsive—sleeping with their children.

I breathed in deeply and said to her in a low tone, “listen, I didn’t want to have to do this, but I know of your affair with my templar and I suggest you leave him be before I tell your husband and mine about it. I am the queen, and, moth or not, you will show me respect. The worst thing I could lose from telling the truth about your affair is approval from my husband. The worst thing you could lose is your husband. I don’t know about your husband, but mine would never believe any ridiculous lies being spread about me.”

Julia looked deathly afraid for a moment, and then she cleared her throat and curtsied lowly and replied, “yes, My Queen. Please forgive me…”

“You are forgiven. And one more thing; you will not tell Terry of this encounter.” I said to her firmly.

“Y-yes, My Queen.” Julia curtsied again and then scurried into the crowd of women waiting for their men to return.

I felt exhausted as phantom pain once again pierced my body. I sat down and took a deep breath for a moment.

I realized, however, that I needed to socialize. I needed these women to like me. In a moment I stood up and had a few conversations with them.

“Hello,” I said to a group of women and curtsied.

The women were surprised. “Oh my! What a sweet queen! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a queen curtsy to her subjects!”

Many of them curtsied back and said to me, “it is good to meet you!”

Before, I would have nervously cowered away from them and they would have ignored me. Now, I carried myself with my head held high and I commanded respect. Many of the women flocked to me and asked questions about moth culture. I answered what I could, but even my knowledge had some gaps in it.

Most of the human women still avoided me and looked upon me with disgust.

“It is unbelievable to have a dirty moth queen!” I heard some of them saying.

__

Paris said to me, as we rode back to the castle in the same carriage we arrived in, “you know Mimi, I think I made a few friends. I think I was—likable. It was all thanks to your advice.”

I grinned at him. “I think I made a few friends, too.”

“I think I even heard a few women say that they thought I had gotten handsomer!” He remarked cheerfully.

I made a face. “Only I’m allowed to think that of you.”

I frowned after that, just thinking about that poor black moth who was born into torture and lived a life of suffering. God, I ached from sadness just attempting to feel what Morgan must have felt. I had failed him.

I tried many more times in the day to go see him, but Paris was with me and refused all of my requests, and when he wasn’t with me, the guards refused them.

He was hanged on the morrow.

His death made me feel so sad that I felt sick for a whole day afterward and Paris worried about my health as I didn’t want to get out of bed that day until dinner like I had when we first came to the castle.

__

After three days had past and Julia left for Auren, Terry found me and wept bitterly on my shoulder. “She asked me to come with her—she told me she would marry me over her husband—I would have done it. Why would she change her mind? I was ready to give up everything for her.”

I patted his back and felt horribly guilty. I had manipulated the situation so his lover would never ask to see him again.

My actions were largely selfishly motivated; I loved Terry and wanted to keep him at our castle. But, I did also want to spare him from forever being Julia’s lover and never her husband.

I made the choice for his future for him and I wished I felt guiltier about it than I did.

I will write more later.