“…in the shit is happening?” The old man said, waking up from his nap to find the lights off and his room locked.
...
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Nicole repeated with every quick stroke of the hacksaw. She popped the brain ball out before pausing a moment to kind of admire it, then dropped it into the battle chassis and closing the lid, waiting for something to happen. “Come on, do something.” she said while poking it. A loud banging echoed in the air vents. “Oh screw it, Go-go-Gizzy Vampirism, I guess. I swear to God if this doesn’t work and I have to turn into a vampire lizard, I’m never speaking to you again except to yell at you constantly.” She said while stabbing the syringe into Gizzy's bicep. Nothing happened again. She stared at the other syringe and then at her arm, giving it, just a little more time. Suddenly hands grabbed her neck and she was lifted off the ground. She dropped the syringe and frantically clawed at robotic hands.
...
The old man gave the door a hefty kick, breaking it open. He checked his ammo before grabbing the custom LeMatt revolver he had hidden behind the drawer in pieces. He quickly assembled the parts, smiling at his cleverness. He loaded one soul bullet into the middle barrel and 9 silver 357 magnum rounds into the cylinder, snapping the breakdown action into place and giving it a playful spin.
“Take my guns, huh… Yeah, that’ll teach the old codger that builds them. Nothin' he can do now. Whatever will he use to protect himself…” he grumbled.
...
Vinn crutched down the hallway lugging his pistol, racking the slide with his teeth and stopping, pointing it down the hall at a pair of red glowing eyes that was dragging Nicole with a gun to her head.
“Vicki, put her down.”
“Oh, one shot at this range would put her down permanently, now wouldn’t it?” she smiled.
“Jack’s unconscious and safe, you’ll never find him. I got a 20mm hollowpoint in this thing and about 12 grenades in the mag. You do anything to her and I’ll just de-exist your ass. I’m not playing.”
“So what? My ship will be dropping out of FTL any moment with an army of me, fully vampiric and unstoppable. This pudgy robot was just meant to get my foot in the door.”
“Yeah, no shit.” Gizzy’s voice said from behind her. She turned her head to see Gizzy, alive and well, one blue eye, one red eye, looking healthy and oddly more bloodthirsty than usual, the red stains still freshly down her mouth and chin.
“Well look who decided to J-” she stopped, her head splattering as Vinn breathed a sigh of relief and Nicole stumbled to her feet as the headless Dee body dropped to her knees and crumpled. Nicole ran to him and hugged him as he squinted at Gizzy.
“I was gonna do a whole monologue and everything.” Gizzy said shaking her head.
“Sorry. Hey… is it just me or do you look way more evil than usual?” he asked.
“Oh no, just way more alive.” She said, grabbing the headless body and plugging a cable into a port on the back. “Vinn, you and Nicole go rescue the real Dee. These upgraded bodies can track each other. Take a shuttle. Good work both of you two, but frankly this is about to get nasty and I need the pascifists getting the other pascifist. Sorry in advance about the mess that’s about to befall your ship, Nicole."
“So you’re a Vampire cyborgs now?” Nicole sighed. “I’m just… both so over it and also kinda turned on.”
“Oh everyone should be, this body is fantastic.” Gizzy chuckled. “I take back everything I ever said about organic tissue. Now go find Dee, she’s probably in some kind of peril and in need of help, as usual.”
...
Dee slammed against the bulkhead as Jordan held her up.
“It’s teasing whores like you that make nice guys like me stop being nice.” He said aggressively.
“If you need a sex reward to do the right thing then you weren’t a nice guy to begin with. You’re just delusional.” She said, planting her feet into his chest and kicking him backwards.
"Could have made this easy and quick, but no, nobody ever gives the ugly guy a chance, when Prince Jack and his pretty kind are hogging all the tail. I thought you were different.”
“Oh, I am different.” she said before picking up a broom and breaking it over her knee as a makeshift spear. “I’m not the damsel in distress you wanted.”
“Well you fooled me, and you hurt me, but you made a mistake bringing a stick to a gun fight.” He sighed, taking a pistol from his pocket and shooting her in the chest. She flopped to the ground, slowly rolling over and crawling in lethargic wobbly steps. He crouched down next to her and grabbed her shoulder.
“Biggest waste of a perfect body in the history of the industry. I hate to see it end like this but you left me no choice and now you got a hole in your lung for it. You know I never wanted to see you suffer, I’ll end it painlessly for you. I’m gonna miss you, Dee. I was your biggest fan.” He sighed sadly as she quickly grabbed his wrist and yanked him into a headlock.
“I’m not even the same person you stupid-ass, I told you already, I’m a damn robot. I don’t even have lungs. But I got your gun.” She grinned, pulling the trigger and putting 2 rounds through his back, then standing up and stretching as he bled on the floor. “But you were gonna be merciful and end me quick, so… I guess I owe you that much.” She said while putting the last round into his head. She winced and lifted her shirt to inspect the hole, touching it lightly. “Ow… that really hurts.” She huffed, suddenly sensing the locator activate and heading to the shuttle bay. She stepped inside and there was the shuttle from the medusa with Vinn and Nicole looking glad to see her.
“You’re alive… and holding a gun.”
“Don’t worry about it.” she said before tossing the gun aside. “It’s handled. How did you find me so fast?” she marveled.
“You were like 8 light-minutes behind us. Apparently this ship was just following us.
“Well that’s convenient.” Dee shrugged. “Hey ,whatever works. Oh Damnit, we need to get back to the ship. Vicki is-”
“Yeah, we know. Gizzy is handing it. We don’t wanna be on that ship.”
“Is Jack on that ship?”
“Yeah.” Vinn said.
“Then I’m getting on that ship, you two can drop me off if you want, I won't even be mad. Get my ass on that ship.” She ordered, strutting into the shuttle and buckling up.”
“We sure that’s Dee?” Vinn asked.
“Yeah… sure.” Nicole shrugged.
...
They sat in the shuttle silently and awkwardly as Dee poked the tender spot where she got shot through, now glad she didn’t have lungs.
“So uh, you wanna talk about whatever went down or no?” Vinn said breaking the silence.
“No need. I just refuse to be someone people have to constantly risk their life to save. Jack takes care of things for people. It’s about time I returned the favor and pulled my weight.”
“For the record, Gizzy ordered us off the ship.” Nicole said. “It’s about to get bad in there and someone has to provide evac and cover support if need be. I’m just not a killer and with his leg busted, Vinn’s more valuable as air cover than ground support. Nobody will be upset with you if you stay here where it’s safer."
If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“I will.” She said firmly. “That bitch is after my man, I won’t let that happen.”
“That’s… actually pretty badass but we’re going to be in the ship with stealth tech and no Vicki. Just if you change your mind on the way.” She said as they dropped out of FTL and Vinn yanked the controls upward to avoid ramming into the giant Thark ship hovering behind the Medusa.
“Holy shit, it almost wasn’t the safer option.” Vinn exhaled, debating on how to get to the cargo bay undetected. Dee got up and began putting on an EVA suit while also grabbing a gun from the rack.
“Just open the doors and point me to it.” she said before locking her helmet down.
...
Dee climbed up from one of the underside containers, sealing the hatch under her and ducking at the sound of a bullet bouncing off the pipe next to her. She took cover behind one of the engine parts as the second one flew over top.
“Don’t shoot, I’m behind the coolant lines.” She hollered.
“Well…” the old man said while steadying his revolver. “We can patch those, can you patch your head?” he asked.
“It’s me dumbass, it’s the real Dee! I mean not the original human Dee, the… original fake, I’m not Vicki!” she said in frustration rage.
“Yeah, sounds like some bullshit Vicki would say to get my guard down. You’re supposed to be dead or floating in space, not poppin up from a storage container.”
“Look, I’m putting my gun down and stepping out unarmed.” She said holding her hands up as 2 more shots rang out and she dove back under. “I SAID I’M UNARMED ASSHOLE. WHO SHOOTS AN UNARMED FUCKBOT!?” she yelled, grabbing her gun and firing back a few rounds to get his attention and get him to fire the last 2.
“Why you trying to kill me?”
“I’m laying down suppressive fire. I don’t know what that means but I’m kinda scared and I’m not getting killed by you before even getting to shoot Vicki. I’m coming out one last time, please don’t fire.” She said, popping up and tossing her helmet as he double tapped it. She sprang into action, darting out and getting knocked on her ass by another round. She laid on the ground, baffled and rattled as he stood over her.
“You shot me in the shoulder, you dick. I counted 6 shots with that revolver.
“It’s a leMatte revolver, holds nine ya stupid tittybot. If I wanted you dead I would have put one in your face. That was a stupid rookie move you just did… saved your life too. Vicki’s a stone cold calculated death machine from what I hear and she doesn’t go down that easy. You’re the real McCoy. Nothing vital in that shoulder, get up.”
“You shot me to figure out which one I was?”
“Hey. There’s 3 of them got out of that drop pod, and we done shot the other Dee after she nearly killed Nicole. How do I know who is who? You wanna kick my ass later, you’re welcome. I coulda just shot you in the head and let you clone back. Must be nice, I don’t get one of those backups.”
“Fine, let’s head to the cargo bay.
“Oh, we ain’t goin' near that cargo bay.”
...
Gizzy circled the cargo bay, lights off and 50 cal at her shoulder.
“What’s wrong Vicki… Don’t like playing now that you’re not the only vampire bitch with fancy armor?”
“I don’t want you dead, Gizzy. I want Nicole and Vinn dead, the old man dead, painless and out of my way, nothing personal, just strategy. I want you alive and bleeding.” She growled in the dark, the hum of an energy weapon powering up echoing throughout the room. Gizzy fired 4 rapid shots through the crates, hoping to get lucky or draw her out. In her bracing hand she kept a grip on the big colt 54, one soul bullet in the chamber. She leapt up like an animal firing a beam of energy from her weapon, and hitting Gizzy, the gun taking the brunt of the hit and the magazine detonating in her face. She stood, annoyed, before tossing the half melted 50 cal and tucking the pistol behind her back as she turned to face Vicki. Gizzy's skin and meatless mechanical skeleton was visible through her mostly missing face and left shoulder, however it rapidly knit together and grew new flesh, now little more than a haircut and some missing clothing.
“Oh that’s new.” Vicki said, firing another pulse into her chest, revealing shiny gold metal as the rib meat crawled back over it and skin faded over the wound.
“You know you can only do that so many times before you get hungry.” She said while hitting Gizzy again in the leg as she stood and took it. “And you can't get blood from me without ingesting the Pitch yourself… So which one of your remaining friends do you think you’ll feed on first… The sad excuse for a Dee copy or the old stray cowboy you picked up somewhere? Maybe you’ll run into Nicole first and have a sushi snack before getting satiated. It’s only a matter of time before your hunger takes over and you lose control, turning on someone you love, and I want to watch.”
“Oh no…” Gizzy gasped dramatically. “I feel so peckish and thirsty… How ever will I control my primal need to feed? Oh right, my brain is a self contained ball of armor that has no blood supply or soft tissue. Honey, if the zombie virus can’t turn me, the thirst isn’t gonna slow me down. You’re just using up ammo and time proving how shallow thinking you are. You know damn well you’d rather fight like an animal than with that gun. I’m unarmed and bigger then you. I’d have thought you would consider that a challenge to your feeble little ego. The big bad vampire queen now just the second rank princess in front of a real queen, scared to drop her gun, hoping I’ll lose control to the thirst like you did. You’re weak and scared, just like you were before you had any real power. Prove me wrong.” Gizzy said, baring her fangs and letting out a dark hiss, teeth dripping with venom. “And I can do this all day with one arm behind my back to prove it.” she said while clutching the pistol.
Vicki smiled, looking down and back up, then tossing the gun aside and strutting forward in an intentionally cocky manner, suddenly becoming a blur as Gizzy drew and fired the pistol, missing her entirely.
“Fuck.” Gizzy muttered under her breath, flinging the gun like it was worthless now.
“You really thought that was gonna work? Taunt me into getting close so you could use whatever special weapon you were hiding behind your back? Only one shot? That’s a shame. Must have been a very expensive bullet. You know the bad part about metal over flesh?” she said, darting past Gizzy and backhanding her into the wall. “All that weight makes you slower.” She chuckled, ducking under Gizzy’s punch and slashing her face with a claw and a kneed to the ribs. Stepping out of her way as Gizzy tried to grab her and missed.
“Someone got faster.” Gizzy wheezed, staying hunched to lull her into getting closer.
“You’re too predictable. Upgrading your armor and upgrading your strength, but forgetting to bother with maneuverability or speed. You may be bigger and stronger then me, but there’s one of you and hundreds of me. You’re a large wasp alone in a swarm of bees, taking sting after sting, thinking you’ll just never wear down.”
“So swarm me, queen Bee. Why bother wasting time?”
“Because if I swarm the ship and start killing indifferently, I could hurt Jack. Or I could search the ship in pairs and keep you busy in here, just having fun. Kill one of me if you can, I would be impressed but I’ll send another, and another. How fast can you clone yourself? That body setup in the basement looked like this upgrade took you weeks. I have 200 Vickis all ready to go, watching through my eyes as I hunt your family and beat your big pretty ass senseless.
“You seem to have forgotten that I like a good fight. I’m almost having fun.” Gizzy huffed, swinging and missing again as Vicki clawed across her back and elbowed her to the floor.
“Oh, I do hope so.” She giggled.
...
Dee readied her weapon as footsteps approached and the old man frantically reloaded his revolver, broken down and open, shells in his mouth as he fumbled.
“Ever hear of a clip?” whispered Dee.
“I like this gun.” He shrugged, snapping the hinged halved back together.
“Don’t shoot!” said a familiar voice as Jack waved his hand over his cover.
“JACK!” Dee whispered almost as a yell. He stepped out, Gun ready, hesitant and nervous. “How do I know it’s you?”
“I’ey… youd’dughfuck, I dunno, I didn’t really have a good plan for that, I’m kinda winging it here.” She stammered nervously.
“Yeah, it’s definitely you.” He said while lowering the gun. “You don’t have a damn clue what you’re doing and you’re scared shitless. You’re not Vicki.”
“Oh thank god I’m an airheaded screw up.” She chuckled, hugging him as footsteps approached. “Are you alone?”
“Thought I was.” He said switching to grenades and flipping down his night scope. The old man covered his ears and ducked behind the pipe. Jack waited, stiff as a statue until the slightest movement crossed the field of his sights. He fired, splattering Vicki’s head with one shot, firing another center mass as the body stumbled and caught itself, he fired 3 more rapid shots to try and disperse the limbs more, noticing them still moving.
“We need to run.” He said calmly, the 3 of them suddenly hauling ass as the old man waved them to follow.
“You got a plan?” Jack asked him.
“Yeah, but we got ears listening and I don’t wanna spoil it, just follow me and warn me if you’re gonna shoot that thing again. How can any of you people hear a damn thing with those cannons?”
“Well, the hearing loss adds up slower than the life expectancy.” Jack sighed. “We figure by the time we go deaf we’ll get killed and cloned back new.”
“Well that does me a lot of good.” He complained. “Does it have to be that damn powerful?”
“Gizzy designs her guns overkill, because eventually you run into something that makes whatever you have seem like underkill.”
...
Vinn and Nicole circled the ship, trying to figure out what to do.
“We just gonna do nothing here?” she asked.
“Well, we have orders to provide air support and evac if needed, I do this all the time while you’re on missions… It sucks doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, I feel useless.”
“Welcome to my world. Grab a snickers bar. We can’t shoot the ship, and that thark armor could shrug off the Medusa’s rockets like spitwads, so these little shuttle guns are a joke. There’s probably a hundred Vickis in that thing. We don’t have nukes. Welcome to team sit and wait, it’s safe and boring.”
“Damnit. Can we hack something? Shoot the reactor vents or the weak spots?”
“Nope. We got jack shit. We just wait for orders or escape pods and go snag them. The moment we open fire, our stealth is gone. It’s not a video game, there’s a lot of thumb-up-ass moments like this. I got popcorn.”
“Fine. Gimme the popcorn.” She pouted. “Stupid, team thumb-up-ass missions.”