Gizzy sat in the lab examining Vicki’s eyes and doing her weekly checkup.
“Well, the good news is that you’re incredibly healthy and in perfect shape. The bad news is that Tweetie Pie is not.” She sighed.
“So?” chuckled Vicki. “He’s a child murdering arsonist. You want me to be nicer to him?”
“Nicer, no, but gentler might be advised. He’s not healing up as fast as you fuck him up. If you kill him, it’s a problem. His quality of life is not my problem, but losing half your food options not only halves your supply but it puts more strain on the other guy. Maybe try… psychological abuse?” She shrugged.
“I can’t control myself when I’m feeding. If I could, I’d just drink Vinn’s bottled blood and take my aggression out on something else.
“Maybe skip days on the shitbird and double up on big blue.”
“You know I… almost feel bad saying this… I prefer Zhoren anyway. Tweet keeps… making it almost seem sexual. I think he almost enjoys it, and I hate giving that monster any kind of reward.”
“And Zhoren is a little more like Vinn, hu?” She yawned.
“What? No, that’s a little bit offensive, I trust Vinn because Vinn is a sweet guy who would never hurt an innocent person. He’s not a child murderer, I don’t care about Zhoren’s feelings, even if he is nicer and more compliant.”
“Um…” Gizzy awkwardly squinted. “I meant medically he’s larger and has more blood, so your venom dilutes more and you are less likely to snap his spine. I wasn’t accusing you of emotional attachment. Kinda seems like you got the wrong comparison. Kinda seems like you got a little defensive there. You, uh, missing the fuzzy meal ticket?”
“Not like that.” She said, looking annoyed.
“Like what?” Gizzy asked innocently. “Vicki, I think it’s fairly obvious you have feelings for Vinn beyond just a friend who helps with your medical needs. You can’t help your feelings, especially with your body chemistry all crossed, but we can’t clone you a Vinn to play with. I have 2 psychology degrees. I’m not stupid. You like Vinn because you trust him and it’s gone from feeding to bonding and you don’t wanna bond with someone who indiscriminately kills innocent people for fun, and the reason it doesn’t satisfy is because they get to live. There’s no justice and punishment, so you’re not taking down the monsters, you’re just feeding. Vinn became personal.”
“Okay fine, but you can’t tell anyone. I don’t like what I am. When I’m hunting down a worse monster to feed, I’m removing something from the world worse than I am. It makes me feel like my own monstrous nature is offset somehow. With Vinn it… was more intimate. I couldn’t hurt him, he didn’t mind, and he enjoyed the venom high. It was almost like…”
“Cheating, but cheating and getting a medical hall pass for it so nobody thought bad of you for it. You’re gentler with Vinn because subconsciously even your vampiric feeding personality knows he’s a friend and it’s safe. That same subconscious wants to kill Tweets for what he did. Feeding isn’t enough, you want vengeance for the dead and penance for your own…. mistakes.”
“I just wish Jack…was stronger. I want that intimacy with Jack without risking his life. I don’t want Vinn, but I don’t want this either. Why is this so damn impossible?” She asked, breaking into tears.
“Because it’s an impossible situation, Vicki. You’re kinda fucked in every way turn, but this team needs you healthy and strong, and Jack, Vinn, and Nicole know that. We’re all on your side, but I can’t build you a perfect FrankenVinn’s Monster for your gourmet needs. You got a big despicable bastard you can beat up and snack on, and a backup slim-jim you keep snapping into a little too hard. So pick one or a combination platter but figure it out and stop asking me for favors. We just took over a prison instead of saving the universe, for you. Please don’t act like it’s not enough.” She said. The ship shuttered violently.
“Gizzy to the bridge. STAT!” Nicole ordered.
“On the way, what just hit us? We got police on us or pirates?”
“I… you just have to see this yourself, I can’t begin to explain it.” She said while trying to maneuver to fire back.
…
Gizzy stared at the screen and blinked to make sure it wasn’t her eyes malfunctioning.
“That’s a Thark.” Gizzy said, looking worried and confused. “Except it’s firing guns at us.”
“What is a Thark!? I keep hearing about Tharks, but nobody tells me what they are!”
“Giant Space centipedes. A plague on most worlds and ships, except they shouldn’t be this far out here, and for some reason, it has guns. Why does a Thark have guns?”
“Maybe it bought some.” Nicole suggested.
“THEY’RE BUGS! STUPID SIMPLE BRAINED BUGS! She barked. “Who the fuck takes the most overpowered natural species of beast in the known universe and gives it weaponry? They already ARE weaponry. Get under it, the belly is the only vulnerable area. There’s a gap in the armored plates where they coil backwards. That’s why Thark hunters travel in 2 ships, one flies over to get it to coil upward and then the other takes out the underbelly. Barrel roll his ass and go full power cannons to the stomach.” She said. Nicole kicked in the power and yanked up, sending everyone hunkering down as the smaller ship looped over the beast.
“It’s not coiling!” she yelled.
“I’m aware, I just don’t know why! Shoot it in the rear thrusters.”
“Are those vulnerable too?”
“Hell if I know! They don’t usually have thrusters, it’s a BUG!” Gizzy yelled. She fired wildly at the thrusters on the back of the bug, taking one out and slowing it down. It fired back, rocking the Medusa to the stone core.
“Shields are gone, we’re screwed if we take anything else bigger than an RPG.” Nicole said.
“Shit, fire torpedo tube 5.” Gizzy said.
“Tube 5 stopped working. It’s cracked. If we fire it, the whole thing will blow open before the round fires. It’s locked out with a safety code.”
“I know. Override it, type in DISS9 and fire. That’s an order.” Nicole gave Gizzy a strange look and typed it in, firing the tube. It fired normally, sending a torpedo out at the Thark. “Now, pulse the FTL and get us some distance.” Gizzy said. Nicole tapped it like a turbo boost and the entire ship pulled hard right like a Tokyo drift in space, leaving them adrift. Nicole stared at the viewscreen as a large blue energy sphere dissipated and the Thark went dark.
“What… in the fuck was that?” Nicole asked, strutting up to Gizzy.
“Small confession.” Gizzy sighed. “Torpedo tube 5 was fine, I just simulated a crack to keep you from using it. I loaded that tube with an Osirian lunar charge. That just sent out a flair to anyone looking for Osirian Tech, but we’re alive.”
“You hot-loaded my ship with alien weaponry and locked me out of it, and didn’t even tell me.”
“I did tell you… you just don’t remember anything because you coned yourself right after that mission.”
“So we have illegal weapons of mass destruction on the ship?” She asked.
“Absolutely. You think I’m not gonna take that with me? Good god, I thought you knew me better than that. Now circle back, I wanna know why a damn Thark has been fitted for war. We’re about to do some pirate shit, get your hat.”
…
Jack and Vicki followed Nicole and Gizzy as Vinn guarded the prisoners back on the ship. The shuttle clamped up to the underbelly of the massive beast and docked at a small metal door. Gizzy began cutting through it with a plasma cutter, slowly and steadily.
“Wow, small door.” Jack said.
“Well it’s an animal, so…” Gizzy sighed. “I’m not sure why it has a door at all.”
…
“Food time, boys.” Dee said, opening the feeding windows and putting trays down.
“I’m X.” Whispered Tweet.
“Yeah, that’s great, nobody cares.” Dee smiled.
“So do you come with the trays or does that take extra work?” He grinned.
“Oh, that’s not happening. Woopse, I dropped your protein bar.”
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
“Hey, I was just kidding around, it was a compliment. You just put it on the other tray, WAIT!” He barked as she shut the window.
“And here’s your tray.” She said as big blue accepted it, smiling.
“Thank you, miss.” He nodded.
“Not gonna hit on me too?” She asked.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He grinned.
“I mean… you could dream of it. Nobody’s stopping your dreams.” She said looking curious. “Vicki going rough on ya?” She asked, noticing the claw marks.
“I’ll live. Nothing I haven’t survived before, nothing I don’t deserve.” He said, enjoying his protein bar.
“You seem really upbeat and chipper for a prisoner and a…sentient steak.”
“I can’t thank you enough, the gods have answered my prayers. I am learning to accept it.” He smiled. She blinked and went around to the main door, opening it and entering, before pulling up a stool.
“Yeah, I’m gonna need some more of an explanation. I’m not only a dumb bitch but a curious one and I’m starved for drama a gossip… except I can’t say anything because of confidentiality programming. It fucking sucks, everyone tells me secrets and I literally cannot gossip because it’s wired in my brain not to. Drives me nuts. So why are you so happy and why did you pray to your gods to be a vampire chewtoy? Heavy masochism and a redhead fetish?” She asked.
“You don’t seem scared of me.”
“No. I’m way too bored to care and frankly I was Vicki’s chewtoy so long I stopped being scared of anything. No, that’s a lie. Gizzy scares the shit out of me, but nothing normal scares me.”
“You’re a prisoner too?” he asked. “What could you have possibly done to deserve that?”
“Well it’s complicated. I’m not a person. I’m a robot lizard with a sex doll brain and human skin printed on so Vicki could get her suckpire on. It’s fine.”
“You seem real to me.”
“Well, I’m real in the sense that I exist, but I’m not sentient. I don’t really know what that means, but apparently I’m property and I’m fine with that. It’s my job. I’m the crew’s virtual girlfriend. I just want what the crew wants.” She smiled.
“But what do you want?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” she asked. “I want what I’m programmed to want… which unfortunately is to serve the crew and nobody seems to give a shit anymore.”
“Were you programmed to be curious and come in here with a dangerous criminal, or did you choose that?”
“Actually, part of my program is annoying curiosity simulation, and doing whatever the crew wants. Gizzy specifically said ‘Stay away from shitbird and his cage, he’s food, not crew.’ She also said to take food to our guests if Vinn is busy. But she never specified what you are. I’m programmed to follow orders and service the crew and guests if asked. You’re on the ship, unspecified. I don’t know what you are.”
“So If I told you to open the door and let me out, would you?” He asked.
“Undetermined.” She said robotically.
“And if I just… gently took your keycard and left on my own, would you stop me?”
“Undetermined.” She repeated.
“Interesting. So you have to obey the crew, and nobody labeled me as a prisoner, so you don’t have orders to stop me with force, because you wouldn’t stop a guest.”
“Apparently.” She said fluctuating between personality mode and robotic tone. He carefully took her keycard from her pocket. “I don’t think you are authorized to have that, guests have to ask for a keycard, and I have to ask you to put that back please.” She said calmly.
“No. Are you going to take it from me?” He asked.
“I don’t believe I can, you’re several times my size, but I can ask politely.” She said as he leaned dangerously close, holding the keycard up and staring her in the eyes.
“Listen carefully. I’m not a guest. I am a prisoner. So is the other guy in the other cage, except he’s far worse. Prisoners are not allowed to have keycards. Now when the captain comes back, you need to tell her that someone forgot to add a prisoner protocol to your programming. Understood?” He said, tucking the keycard back in her pocket.
“You are a prisoner, confirmed. She said taking a pistol off her back and taking the safety off.
“You not authorized to have a keycard, if you attempt to take it again you will be shot, as per orders.” She said casually.
“That’s better.”
“Why did you do that?” She asked.
“I’m a prisoner.” He shrugged.
“You clearly found a logic loophole to exploit and you could have left the cell.” She pondered curiously.
“Why would I want to do that? I’m not a guest, so they would throw me back in and likely punish me for it. I’m trying to earn my good behavior, not steal it. Stealing what wasn’t earned is why I’m here in the first place. I won’t make that mistake twice, when the gods have been so generous with my prayers.”
“See, that’s what I don’t understand. You prayed to be captured by pirates and fed on by a blood sucking mutant? You have oddly specific kinks.” She said scrunching her face.
“You don’t understand. I did something terrible, and I paid the price for that. 68 innocent people are dead and 2 that may have deserved it. I did that, and I can’t undo that even if I want to. I spent many years fighting the guards and making things worse before I realized I deserved to suffer for my sins. 22 years in the brick. Daily beatings, starvation, treated like an animal. No, worse than an animal. Tortured for fun, shocked, chemical sprayed. Experimental weapons they can’t use on volunteers, they used on us. I deserved that for what I did. And then one day I began asking for the mercy of death. I prayed for the release of my suffering, since I knew the pain of it and lacked the strength to go on. I prayed for months, and then your crew showed up and out of 200 prisoners, chose me.”
“I hate to be a buzzkill, but you were selected because you got good bone marrow and didn’t die from being injected with cancer mutagens and alien blood. I don’t think the gods really consulted anyone on that.” She said as he smiled.
“You don’t think so?” He chuckled. “I was rotting in a cell, a useless waste of food and life support waiting to die, and suddenly I had a purpose. I’m keeping a sick girl fed and alive, and in return I get a warm room, a softer bed, better food, and my own shower I get to use every day. No cell mates to fight with, no beatings, I just smile and obey and I am rewarded for it. I have very good ears you know, and I’m smarter than people give me credit for. I’m an educated brute. Your friend needs to feed on someone, and she nearly kills Tweet every time, and he’s been enhanced to regenerate. That poor girl can either starve or hurt people, and I can handle it just fine. I have a purpose to serve, just like you. I was lost and alone, and now I am useful and life is brilliant. Do the gods not have their reasons? Do they not test me still, a beautiful woman with a literal ticket out of my cage, who cannot stop me. So where would I go? Steal a shuttle I can’t fly and go into the darkness to die alone or to be captured? Vinn is a big guy, he wouldn’t let me near that shuttle anyway. I’d have to kill him. I’ve had enough killing for a lifetime, enough stealing and being ungrateful, enough thinking of my wants and my temptations rather than my purpose and my reason for living. Whatever mine was, I wasted it. And now I’ve been given what I asked for, forgiveness and hope. So no, I will not be leaving that girl to starve or kill, I won’t be taking what I did not earn and taking more innocent lives for my greed. I am already free. Are you?” he asked, taking a bite from his protein bar. “Are your gods fair to you?”
“We don’t… have gods.” She pondered rather then stating.
…
Gizzy stood in wonder as the others climbed from the hole.
“This is a damn ship.” She huffed. “They hollowed out a dead thark and made a ship. That’s kinda brilliant.”
“Kinda morbid.” Vicki added.
“I dunno, I kinda like the scary vibe.” Nicole grinned.
“Of course you would. It’s the skeleton of a giant monster made into a bounty hunter ship. It’s pretty badass and the fact that I didn’t think of it first annoys me. It’s armored like hell, it’s huge, it’s literally full of meat that doesn’t decay in space, and anyone seeing that approaching on radar would run like hell because very few people know that Tharks have any weakness. Of course, when you hollow out it’s ass and put thrusters sticking out you create a weakness for anything powerful enough to melt Titanium alloy through energy shielding. My question, is… why is nobody home?”
“How do you know, they’re bounty hunters?” asked Nicole.
“Because those tubes on either side are cryo cells for prisoners. This was on the way to the cube. We just got reported.”
“You wiped their memories.” Jack reminded.
“Yeah… well someone we didn’t wipe knows who we are. And they want us on ice or dead.”
…
Evil Vicki sat on her throne of wires and gears, watching the prison cube drift into pieces, explosions popping from the remains in her rear view. She chuckled, crossing her legs and reclining as a tube from her spine turned red with fluid and her eyes glowed slightly. She disconnected and strolled down the halls, raking her nails playfully on the dozens of cryo-tubes, full of prisoners.
“Now…does anyone want to volunteer to retrieve the crew?” She asked. 2 rows of terrified inmates in shackles raised their hands.
“Good. I want the ship crippled, the cloning tank intact, Jack and the Delmarian alive and well. Kill the rest, especially the blonde. She’s annoyingly resilient. Most of you will die by her hand, but those that don’t will be rewarded handsomely. If any one of you are spiritual, please reconsider your faith. I’m your god now. And I am not a merciful one. I demand sacrifices and proof of your worth. Shuttles, guns, supplies, go. If you die, you die. If you succeed, you are wealthy and free. And if you run, I will have you hunted down and tortured so badly you’ll wish you were back in the brick. Are there any questions?” Evil Vicki asked.
“NO CAPTAIN!” they shouted in unison.
“Good. Now go hunt, pillage, steal, and kill… like you were meant to do. Please your new god.” She smirked. “And bring me the blonde’s head.”