Gizzy sat in the workshop, tinkering her gun as Vicki strolled past her. She was slightly surprised to see Gizzy there.

“Passing through?” Gizzy asked.

“I was going to see Ricardo.”

“You friends now?” Gizzy smirked.

“No, I still think he’s a disgusting slimy abomination that makes my skin crawl. But I’m trying to desensitize myself to them, and he’s getting bigger so I may as well get in early while he’s slightly less terrifying and make a good impression.”

“So that natural freakout you have touching a tentacle getting any less severe?”

“Not really. Still bad every time. Can they smell fear?” She asked.

“No. They can’t. They learn body language, but they don’t have a predator instinct to chase something that runs or perceive something that fears them as prey. They’re vegetarian. They don’t have claws or stingers or venom. Their main defense mechanism is just to whip one of those tentacles and smack the shit out of you. Now they can get some momentum there and knock you on your ass, but that’s about it.”

“Speaking of…bad things in general. I assume you coned away some of that mission.” Vicki sighed.

“No, I need to keep all my memory for this, even the difficult parts. What about you?”

“I’m considering it. I don’t wanna say anything to Nicole, but between us, I have some kind of feelings for Vinn ,and I don’t know what to even call them.”

“Well you two have shared a rather unique bond for a while. You need him, he gives you something nobody else can that satisfied a primal urge. Humans are hardwired to crave the things they need to survive, food, water, sleep, oxygen, and some secondary things like sex, closeness, entertainment, stress release, they get their own tier. You’re not just getting enjoyment from Vinn, you’re feeding. It’s a literal craving for what you need to live and survive. Human food is a powerful enough instinct craving as it is, and you have an additional one for blood, as well as a predatory reflex, courtesy of the bug venom’s alteration to your DNA. He’s not only giving you the nutrients you need, but he’s big enough and hearty enough that you can attack him without worrying that you’ll hurt him. You could kill Jack if you went full apeshit on him, and as a predator, part of you might deep down, want to.”

“That’s just it. I don’t attack Vinn. It’s not hunting large game capable of handling my attacks, It’s more…”

“Sensual?”

“In a way. The robot gets the job done but just barely, and I don’t feel good after. It’s too weird to see and hear Dee, my easily broken human friend, and just attack her. It’s almost worse to have her beg me for it and pretend to like it. One feels like murdering my friend, the other feels like cheating on Jack and in a murderous way. If I tone down the personality and make her more robotic, then some part of my feeding instinct doesn’t believe she’s real, and I can’t get my bloodlust to kick in.”

“So you can’t get it up if she acts like a toaster, and you hate the idea of her struggling about as much as you hate her willingly not struggling. Meanwhile Vinn is real, he’s safe, you’re not killing him, you’re not having a fetish party, but you know he enjoys the venom high just enough to offset the discomfort. Now you’ve bonded, it got awkward and you miss it. Telling Nicole not only feels like betrayal, but then she definitely wouldn’t let you do it again, so you’re scared of losing that.”

“Maybe you’re not the worst therapist after all. What do I do?”

“Well, don’t keep using the Deebot and then coning yourself every day. That adds up when you do it often, and that close together, and you’ll end up with brain damage. And definitely don’t go behind Nicole’s back and lie about it. I suggest either full committing by telling Nicole and then severing that option, IF you can stay away. Or, there’s another option you won’t like but it would be easier on Vinn and Nicole.”

“More robot shit?” she sighed.

“No not exactly, it’s a bit outside the box. You miss bonding with Vinn, you need that feeling of satisfaction to feel complete. Drinking blood from a bag feels like eating a food pill. It keeps you healthy and works in a pinch, but you don’t feel full and you miss the experience of eating, flavor, texture. It feels emotionally incomplete and disconnects you, so food becomes just something you do, rather then something you enjoy. Vinn makes you feel full, like a complete meal. You know why Nicole is so in love with Vinn?”

“Because they’re soul mates?” she guessed.

“No that’s bullshit, humans made that up to sound more romantic. She loves animals, dogs, deer, rabbits, anything fuzzy and cute she needs to pet and cuddle. She is also a sexually active young woman and everyone needs a partner. Vinn is basically a giant puppy she can love on, while also being a sentient adult man with a comparable sex drive and intelligence to talk with her about feelings. She hasn’t brought home a rescue animal since she found Vinn. What you need is a pet, something you can bond with in a different way than your relationship with Jack. I assume Jack doesn’t dress in a fur suit and let you pet him and rub his belly?”

“Uh no, you’re correct.”

“You need 3 things that Vinn provides at the same time. Pet companionship, nutrient rich blood, and the feeling of satisfaction you get from that endorphin kick that your feeding instinct gives you.”

“Why do I feel like you’re about to suggest a pet that does all of that and I’m gonna hate it somehow.”

“Well, hear me out. Both Nicole and myself have been dipping into the snail goop on the regular. It’s a very satisfying warm kind of high. Now the male snails don’t produce this slime, in fact they get the same feeling from it, which encourages them to seek the females.”

“Oh god.” She sighed deeply.

“I’m suggesting you add snail slime to your blood shake, and go pet Ricardo while you drink it. He needs a regular feeding of it anyway. I know you don’t like them very much and find them disturbing, but this may help with your fear of them, as well as provide pet bonding and artificially spiking your blood rations with the feel good drugs. Would you rather potentially damage your friendship with both Vinn and Nicole, while maybe damaging their marriage in the process? Or keep simulating the act of murdering your friend every day? Or do what I do and go get high with a snail for a while? Worst case scenario, you make a friend, and stop being so damn terrified of harmless creatures we have on this confined ship. Have you ever in your life got drunk with friends and pet a cat, or shared a joint with a coworker while giving their dog ear scratches? It’s the same thing except the dog and the friend you’re getting high with are the same animal, and it’s slimy and statistically safer than a dog.

Ricardo could use the attention, since we tend to spend more time with Candice… partially because her tank needs a slime cleaning all the damn time, and also you just get a massive brainfuck high doing it. You don’t wanna take care of Candice, she’s learned that Nicole and I can swim well, and she thinks it’s funny to try and pull you into the tank and frankly, she could drown your ass. Even if Ricardo wasn’t a vegan softie with no teeth or claws, if he did somehow for unknown reasons decide to maul you, you could just stand up and be out of the water and he lacks the power to crush or suffocate you like an anaconda. He’s just a wet gummy candy. Plus if you’re high you’re less likely to freak out from the ick factor of it. And that’s insanely unlikely. Go. Go forth and get high with a snail like a normal person. I’ll install a TV and a folding lounge chair in there.”

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

...

Nicole lightly pushed Vinn back, giving him a confused look.

“Not in the mood?” he asked.

“In a crazier mood.” She smiled. “Meet me in the brig in 15 minutes and play along.” She smirked.

“You’re getting really good at acting, we doing handsome stranger again?” He smiled.

“Handsome Captain and his prisoner.” She said grabbing her briefcase of fun.

“Oh, interesting. Should be a very unorthodox from of interrogation.” He added.

“15 minutes.” She said, kissing his snout and grabbing an outfit.

...

She sat in the brig, locking the doors and getting out her tools. First a healthy shot of goop and the following shivers that came with it. Then she sat out a very small shot of protein shake and a dry ration bar on a tray like a prisoner would have. She then slid the briefcase under the door gap where trays would be passed so she couldn’t reach it. then she attached the cone device to her phone, setting a timer and adjusting the custom settings, tucking it between the mattress and the wall. She covered it with the pillow and laid down, nervously breathing and getting comfy as the high pitch ping of the device activating rung in her ears. She sat up, looking around the room and down at her clothing, nervously grabbing the food tray and sampling it as her stomach growled like she hadn’t eaten all day. The door to the adjacent room opened and Vinn in a uniform strutted in confidently.

“Where am I?” she asked looking confused.

“You’ve caused a lot of trouble on my ship, little lady. I’ll let you go if you tell me the access codes to your ship’s vault.”

“What vault, what ship? Where am I?” She asked, feeling nervous and scared.

“Well if you won’t give me the codes…” Vinn acted, “There may be other ways to make up for the trouble you’ve caused me. The choice is up to you. The money in the vault, or something worth the trouble.” He smirked.

“I might have…a suggestion.” She nervously grinned.

...

Vicki sat next to the tank, thermos and a 2, 4 ounce plastic bottles of clear gel. She took a swig from her thermos and sighed, downing the gelatinous goop. She proceeded to gag and wince at the texture.

“Oh god, that’s unpleasant. It’s like drinking whale snot.” She coughed, chasing with some of the blood to get the nastiness out of her mouth. “I guess you get the other one.” She said applying the awkwardly nipple-like cap that you would use for a baby bottle. Ricardo hesitantly went for it.

“There you go, Oh, oh fuck, you’re grabbing my wrist, you’re on my hand there’s a tentacle on my hand, oh god. Oh that’s…I hate my job. I hate my life right now. Drink faster you little shit, Nope.” She said starting to stand up and the suction cups rolled around her hand and she curled her face into a disturbed grimace of emotional pain, crossing her legs and shifting around awkwardly to not think about it.

“Oh the drugs are kicking in, thank god.” She said, chugging her thermos and trying to think about the pleasant warmth radiating from her insides rather than the clammy nightmare wrapped around her hand as it fed like a baby. “Why do people willingly do this?” She asked. It looked up at her, oddly, with no eyes to see, pointing it’s antennae inquisitively.

She looked at it and somehow it appeared…happy? Like a puppy getting a treat.

“Bottle’s empty, that’s all you get buddy. You can let go of my hand now if you want, I got food bars for you. She let out a sigh of relief. “Oh that’s so much better.” She said not knowing if it was just relief, or the drugs hitting hard. She dropped a food bar into the water, hesitantly petting his head as he nibbled on it.

“You’re really not that intimidating are you, you’re just nasty and weird. Well I guess we’re trying this and seeing if it’s worse than murdering Dee every day.” She said, clicking on the TV and cuing up some good trippin Anime from her playlist. “Just ride the wave and enjoy the show.” She said to Ricardo and to herself. “Oh, you’re getting out of the tank now.” She said jumping slightly up as it sat next to her chair.

“You gonna be chill? I’ll pet you if you can be chill, but if you start like sucking my fingers or something, we’re done. No more TV and Vicki time. Done. Just watch.” She nervously said, as if he could even understand her words. He seemed content, just sitting beside her watching the pretty colors as the drugs started going full force and she almost forgot she was petting a 45 pound snail. “Oh yea, now I get it. I get the slime thing now. That’s a whole thing.” She said looking dizzy and sluggish, less sluggish than Ricardo, obviously, as she finished off her warm blood ration and let the intro music work its magic.

...

Vicki wandered down the halls to her room, staggering to the shower and opening the door, almost jumping out of her skin as Jack stood there, drying off.

“Jumpy today.” He joked. He leaned close for a kiss and noticed her eyes were dilated to the size of dinner plates, and her clothing was slightly wet on the right side. “Are you high?” He asked.

“Look, Jack I love you and I don’t wanna kill you and I was gonna wait till after a shower and a nap to say this but here we are and I have to be blunt. I’m on the snail.”

“Is that like being on the toad?” he joked.

“No, I think they have to like scare the toad and shake it and then lick the toad, this is, like pre-jarred booster drinks Gizzy makes. The point is It’s fucking with my emotions murdering robot Dee every single day, and Gizzy said daily coning is not healthy, so I either have to be on the snail, or on the Vinn and I don’t know which is weirder to you.”

“Vicki, you’re my wife. You have medical needs…very odd ones I’ll admit, but necessary either way, I support whatever is less traumatic for you, but I guarantee Nicole would prefer you be on the goop than on her husband every day.”

“That’s a good point. I just didn’t know how you’d feel.”

“Is it safe?” He asked.

“Gizzy assured me it’s perfectly safe in the dose she provides, and she won’t even let me have more if I ask for it.”

“You ask for it.”

“I ask for it. This is so different than pot, Jack. It’s unreal. Apparently it wears off quick, but Gizzy won’t tell me where she keeps it locked up.”

“And you’re not gonna sneak to Candice and try and get some from the source?”

“Fuck…that. I am still terrified of these things, and she will kill me. I’m not that desperate to get high, I’ll go to Vinn before I go to Candice. That’s not an option.”

“I believe you. I’ll let you have your thing and not judge.”

...

Nicole stepped onto the bridge as Gizzy stared at the view screen.

“Where to?”

“Right there.” She pointed.

“How do you know?”

“Look at the scanners. You see those green dots?”

“Yeah. Old pilots call them ghost stars. Sensors pick something up, but there’s nothing there except for some loose hydrogen gas. It’s just enough for the sensors to detect but not enough for them to know what to detect, so it flags them as a star. There’s never a star there.”

“I’ve been checking them with the manual telescoped to be sure. I’ve checked 37 of them, nothing but black space. Re-checked wearing the glasses. 36 of them were empty space. One of them has a binary star system. White star with an orbiting red dwarf, and a rogue moon orbiting the dwarf star. It’s the only thing it could mean, follow the ghost stars. Sure as shit isn’t one of the 36 gas clouds."

“If we get there and it’s just gas, I’m gonna be very disappointed.” Nicole said.

“Well, I’d say look for yourself, but these only work for me. Jack and Vinn tried them earlier, didn’t see anything.”

“Well, lucky you, miss thing. What if we get there and the entire system is still invisible? That’s gonna be one weird mission walking around on a glass ball in the dark of space.”

“I got a feeling we’ll see something.” She sighed.

“Well it won't be for a while. The rest of us are playing Cards against the universe in a bit, synthesizing a pizza. You wanna join?”

“I gotta try and figure out what this moon’s conditions are like without any scanners. Could take all night.”

“It could also wait till we get there and the scanners may work. Come play cards with us. It’s fun, it’s just like cards against humanity, except the jokes are written by 36 different species so none of it makes any sense, and if you get tipsy it’s funny as shit. You need some humor. You look miserable.

"I am miserable, that’s why I appear to be. Fine, I’ll be there in 45 minutes. I just need to decode this last bit of data from the cube.”

“Captain's orders, have fun or else…”

“The brig?”

“Uh, the brig is being cleaned as we speak, don’t ask.” Nicole said nervously.

“Good, I don’t want to.”

“What’s that?” Nicole asked as the hologram pieced together the form of a large skeleton key.

“It’s called the Key of Regret. It’s the next item we need.”

“What does it do?” Nicole asked.

“Not the damndest idea. But it’s on the list and it looks fancy as shit, about 8 inches and gold, pretty easy to identify with those markings.”

“Impressive.” She smirked.

“I don’t get impressed for anything under ten inches.” Gizzy smirked. “I’m rich and old and spoiled.” She added.

“Yeah, you’re gonna do fine at this game. Hurry up and get your big key done, we’ll be waiting.” Nicole said heading out.