“Bout damn time.” Gizzy sighed, as they approached the moon, gazing down at a blue world with streaks of light and dots aligned like a printed circuit board. “Seems like every world we go near is dead and hostile, or populated by monsters and heathens. Nice to see city and technology on entry. Now the plan is to figure out what the egg does, and I think Jack and I will ask the locals and get information, one way or another. Vinn, you take the girls and find a shooting range. We need basic supplies and they need practice. The planet seems to have a database similar to an internet, so we can look up some of the shit, but there seems to be 2 primary languages and the translators can’t make sense of one of them. Population is a mix, mostly humanoid and reptilian, so Nicole you should blend well.”
...
Vinn landed shuttle 1 in a parking lot, the girls following as he waved down some people. He tried to get them to stop and speak, but nobody seemed to be interested. They stood in the pouring rain under the train station roof as Nicole wandered a bit, approaching one of the reptilians, who gave her a moment of attention.
“Do you know what kind of currency they use here?” It responded in some form of speech the translator didn’t even attempt. “Money, cash, buy things, trade?” She tried.
“Don’t bother.” Said a voice from behind. A strange humanoid in a rain coat and top hat said with a smile. More primate than human, but speaking something the translators at least could handle. “They don’t give away money here. The greens are rather stingy. Young lady where is your hat and rain shield?”
“I didn’t know it was going to rain.”
“An offworlder, I see. It’s always raining here, except when it snows. Are you alone?”
“No, my husband and my friend are back there.”
“Your husband…I don’t see him.”
“He’s hard to miss. Big orange furry guy.” She said looking perplexed.
“Oh dear, that might explain the avoidance. The Forest folk are not well liked among the greens…or most of us.”
“He’s not from the planet below, he’s Delmarian. Totally different part of the universe entirely.”
“Yes, I can see that, which is the only reason I’m still being social. Their kind are a damn plague.”
“Yeah, I’m familiar with that sentiment. I was abducted by one and escaping took some time. I’m sort of team reptile myself.” She said Flashing her eyes black. “Also completely different species. But still.”
“What a blended place you must be from. So you have no currency and are in need of charity.” He said adjusting his hat.
“Not charity, we prefer to trade. We have…Snail extract.” She whispered.
“Ah, well in that case. I shall do you a favor and take some of it off your hands for a very small exchange fee. On this world, stamps are the currency.” He said opening a pocket and getting out a number of beige and red squares.
“How about you buy us a drink so I know what those are worth first.”
“Clever girl. I suggest the southern side of town where your dear husband will not be bothered as badly. Come now.” He motioned with his brass and black cane.
“Oh, what is the policy on weaponry on this world?” she asked.
“I suggest you get one.” He said firmly.
“Good, we already have a bunch. In fact, we’re looking for a practice range.”
“Then I know just the place. The prices are not as good as some, but for the safety of your party and a way to get stamps, there is one place I highly suggest.”
...
Gizzy and Jack stood looking lost and checking the phone directions.
“Are we sure this is the place?”
“Sign says robot repairs.”
“It’s 12 shipping crates welded together.”
“I dunno. One way to find out.” He shrugged. They entered the building and a very dystopian rusty metal establishment greeted them with sodium lights and graffiti, not a living being in sight.
“Hello?” Gizzy hollered. One of the robots sat up from his chair and strolled their way. It was wearing a pilot’s jacket and helmet, the helmet however was lit with gold lights from the inside, and filled with water. Several small shrimp swam about freely.
“How can I help you?” It asked.
“We need to talk to the owner about a robot.”
“I am the owner, and the only worker.”
“And a robot?” Gizzy asked.
“Well, hardly. He said. A small claw reached up from the bottom of the tank and grabbed one of the shrimp as the others scattered and a strange crustacean climbed into the helmet.
“This is my home…and yes it is a robot.”
“So you’re an isopod living inside a robot.”
“Who is more qualified to specialize?” He replied through the speakers.
“Valid point. We need a humanoid robot, basic cleaning and housekeeping capability, 5 foot 3ish.”
“Pleasure model?”
“Not necessary, she just needs to move like a person and clean like a maid. We can do the rest.”
“Any particular skin?”
“We have our own.” She shrugged.
“Unusual. I have something reptilian of that size, multi-use. Not a very popular model. They have poor balance and a very slow top speed. They make wonderful bartenders.”
“So good enough for a passable Dee I guess. We don’t have money, but we have these.” Gizzy said taking a vial of snail extract.
“Of course you would. That will raise the price significantly.”
“It’s damn near pure, medical grade.”
“I cannot take that to the bank or the booths, the average person would not exchange it, so that means more work for me to convert that to money, and time wasted is money in itself. 6 vials, and I will scan to verify them all.”
“Fine.”
...
The girls and Vinn were lead on a long walk to an underground alley with bad drainage and even worse lighting. Vinn pretended to be cold, tucking his pistol under his arm in case of bullshittery. They arrived at a very cramped opening with no markings, leading into a storage container constructed bar full of variously shady characters and the sound of gunfire.
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“Welcome to the Runner. Where criminal and commoner alike are welcome, as long as you have something to pay with. Barman, A round of moderate drinks for my new guests.” He said, “And a Phase 2 for myself, sepperate bill.” He insisted.
“So now we know roughly the currency exchange.” Nicole noted. “900 per drink, seems like a basic beer. How much to use the shooting range?” she asked the barman.
“4,000 per cycle.” He said as the translator corrected to 71 minutes. We also charge for ammunition.”
“You don’t have what our guns fire.”
“Then 5,000 per cycle. You get one booth. Tight fit for 3 people.”
“I’ll take turns.” She said. Vicki got Vinn aside for a moment.
“We may need to find a restroom, I haven’t fed today.”
“You usually feed first thing in the morning.” He muttered.
“Well, Gizzy blew up my robot and we need the snail goop for money. I didn’t have time to do my normal routine.”
“We really gonna sneak off to a shitty pubic bathroom so you can bit me while Nicole practices alone?” He asked.
“We don’t have much choice. I just need a hold-me-over.” She insisted.
“Can it wait till I show her a little bit about the weaponry and get her comfortable?"
“Sure. I just don’t wanna wait all day and end up pushing things.” She said.
“Just chill at the bar for like 20 minutes. I’ll get her started.”
“Okay, sounds fun.” She smirked. “I mean…sorry. It sounds adequate.” She corrected, looking embarrassed. She turned her head, looking pissed off at herself as he took Nicole to the booth to familiarize her better with her aim.
...
“Rejection is a difficult thing.” Said the man in the top hat. “I know that look.” He smiled.
“Listen Curious George, You don’t know me.” She said pounding back the “beer” with a look of disgust. “God that’s terrible.”
“Your friend wanted the price of an average drink, not a great one. Have mine. You need it more then I do.” He said as she accepted.
“I don’t hate it.” She said. “It’s weird but it’s…not bad.”
“I was hoping more for fabulous, that drink is 8 times the price of the one you absolutely massacred. Consider it a gift for your predicament.”
“What predicament?” she asked.
“Fetching and interesting beauty such as yourself, and not a blink of interest from your married friend. He looks at her with a smile and a glow, and you look at him with lust. That is an unfortunate predicament, however the arrangement may be.”
“It’s not lust you see it’s…something different. More like hunger.”
“Are they not the same thing?”
“Not in this case. It’s complicated. Those two are in love, I’m also happily married but my husband is getting us a new robot. That shithole planet below sort of cost us all something. I don’t know who lost more, me or Nicole. But I have needs, and Vinn is the only one who can take care of it. It’s not love, lust or anything between. It’s a medical necessity between friends.”
“Oh, to reduce what you have to such a legal contract feels sinful in itself. There are men that can be rented here, to provide almost any need.” He hinted. “Oh honey, they wouldn’t leave the room alive when I was done, and that’s the problem. That includes my husband, tragically.”
“There is something about you I noticed. You know I am a very good judge of character. Those two folks seem like normal enough people. Strange but harmless. Your eyes on the other hand, there is a darkness in you.”
“I’m just hungry, stressed, and frankly this entire mission was a mistake.”
“Mission, oh do tell.”
“I shouldn’t have even said that much. I’ll just say I agreed to something I never understood and I regret it. I wasn’t made for this space travel shit, the things out there are not what I expected.”
“You strike me as someone who can handle anything thrown at her.” He scoffed.
“Handle is not the same as thrive. It wears on you. You know what I do for…what I DID for a living before I decided to follow my friends into the darkness of space? I designed clothing and handbags. I fucking stood at a desk and draw dresses and shoes and decide what material would look best.”
“I would have never guessed. I would have guessed perhaps bounty hunter, military, law enforcement…law UN-enforcement even.”
“I’m just a newlywed clothing designer with a badass husband, who thought I could play in his league, and now I just want him and Gizzy to get that damn robot fixed so I don’t have to rely on someone else’s husband for my own needs.” She said sipping her drink.
“Well, for the moment, enjoy your costly beverage and keep your eyes in their direction. Someone just entered you do not want to lock eyes with. Or worse, perhaps you would. In fact, remain here and facing that way, and do not speak to anyone but the barman until I return, I have to go speak to your furry friend.” He said getting up and leaving
...
The robot opened its eyes, looking around and adjusting to the new personality hack that had been hastily hacked in.
“I’m not a pussy!” She blurted, staring at Gizzy as Jack and Fishbowl stared blankly. “I said I’ll do the double cross thing.” She finished, blinking and looking lost. “Did I already say that? I feel like I said that already. Is this real, am I real? Am I an original model, where are we?” Lizard Dee asked.
“Oh, you did the mission. Good job.”
“Why are my hands green?”
“New body, old one got…compromised.” Jack sighed.
“Forest Fucker pissed me off so I packed you with explosives and set you to default airhead mode.”
“You blew me up?” She asked. “What the fuck, Gizzy. I thought we were friends or possibly lovers.”
“Realism mode 12 percent.” Gizzy sighed.
“What do you mean realism mode 12 percent?” She asked. “I’m 100 percent real.” She said.
“Oh son of a bitch…” Jack huffed. “Who do you think you are?”
“I’m your virtual girlfriend, Double Dee model number 776327.” She scoffed. “Who the hell did you think I was?” she chuckled.
“So you know you’re not the real Dee, but you can’t turn your realism mode down?”
“I have a realism mode?” she asked, looking worried.
“Yeah, we fucked up the robot.” Gizzy sighed. “That memory core is…legal limitation, right?” She asked.
“Of course. It’s under the 60 percent capacity limit for sentience, if there is a software problem I assure you it was in the transfer, not my robot.”
“So she’s not sentient, she’s just stuck acting like it. Great.” Gizzy sighed.
“Am I an original construction or just some factory fuckbot?” she asked.
“You are several different models built from parts kits, modified myself. You are quite unique” Said fishbowl.
“Oh good, well at least I got that going for me. Am I a lizard?” she asked.
“Only until we can get your old skin back on. Can you modify the padding to fit these specifications?” Gizzy asked the wet cockroach.
“Absolutely.”
“Do you have a medical grade dermal welder? By chance?” Gizzy asked.
“Ah, no. This is a robot repair shop. I have every glue and synthetic bonding agent to fit a custom skin of…” he said as Gizzy opened the briefcase. “I prefer to not know why you have brought living organic skin, but I suggest medical adhesive from the emergency kit until you can get something better suited.
...
Tophat strolled up to 3 reptilians in tribal armor and what looked like tactical gear.
“Gentlemen. I have an offer you might find interesting.” He smiled.
...
Vicki drank her beverage and waited some time, growing impatient and annoyed. She waved the bartender over discreetly.
“Who exactly am I not supposed to be looking at? What dangerous people are behind me?”
“At the moment, nobody I am aware of. A few hunters were here earlier, but they left already.
“I’ll have another drink, on Tophat’s tab.”
“The man you came here with? He has been gone for some time as well. I don’t suppose you have currency of your own do you?” he sighed.
“We have…snail extract for trade.”
“I have plenty, but if that’s all you have, I have no choice. I hope you have enough to cover the trouble it will take to exchange it. We have this problem often enough. People arrive, order drinks and services and then the ones with money leave the ones who don’t behind.”
“I got scammed?” She asked. "That son of a bitch. Where is Vinn?” She asked as Nicole sat down and looked at Vicki with a strange expression.
“He’s not back yet? You left him…in some bathroom?” She asked with annoyance.
“I’ve been waiting at the bar for you two to finish shooting practice. We never…made our way to the bathroom.” She muttered.
“He left 20 minutes ago to meet you in there for an urgent necessity. The fancy guy…” She said, looking worried. “Told me you said to meet him there.” She finished.
“So Vinn’s just in the bathroom alone?” Vicki asked. They both rushed to the back and opened the door to an empty bathroom. “Where the fuck is Vinn?” Vicki shouted as they approached the bar. “How do you lose a 700 pound husband!?”
“They big man you came with?” asked the barman. “I saw him step out with the 3 hunters. Has there been a crime committed?” he asked.
“Seems that way, doesn’t it?” Barked Nicole. “You just watched him walk out with 3 bounty hunters and didn’t say anything?”
“Miss, I’m sorry, there are a lot of people coming and going here with various people and interests. My job is not to question, it’s to sell drinks and ammunition. This is a bounty hunter bar. You 4 were not bounty hunters?” He asked looking concerned.
“Not the big guy and us. We just met the top-hat guy. He said this was the only place with a range.”
“Nicole, we need to leave now.” Vicki said, heart racing and breathing heavy.
“Not until we have answers. Where did they take him, who were they?”
“I didn't ask, since I don’t know them personally. They left out the back door, which is for emergency only but I cannot lock it in case of emergency so nobody bothers to read the sign. Someone goes out that door at least once per night.”
“Nicole, we need to leave. I can’t…explain it any clearer” She said as her eyes faded from green to brown and began getting redder slowly.
“Shit.” Nicole huffed.
“Do you need a medical transport?” asked the barman, squinting at her eyes and her erratic panic breathing.
“EVERYONE LEAVE NOW!” Nicole shouted. “Don’t call medical, do you have any restraints?” she asked.
“No. Why would I have those? I have this.” He said flashing a handgun, “For emergencies.”
“You’re gonna need it.” growled Vicki.