Dee woke to the sound of someone shuffling around, her timed shut-down slightly skewed by the shock to her system. She sat up and noticed a metal chain and padlock around her waist.
“You’re awake… Thank god, I thought maybe you went into a coma,” a tall heavy set man with a beard and a nervously jolly demeanor said.
“What is this shit… Am I being black snake moaned? Are you black snake moaning me right now? I’m not possessed by a sex demon.”
“Oh darling, you ARE a sex demon and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. I’m your biggest fan.”
“Oh, you are so confused right now.”
“I know, what are the odds of answering a distress call and finding THE legendary Double Dee herself, alive and alone? You should be dead. The odds of anyone finding you with no food or shuttle is insane. I can’t how lucky, well, BOTH of us are. You’re alive and I get to meet the legend.”
“This is gonna ruin your whole vibe, but I’m actually not THE Dee, I’m just a Deebot.”
“Hilarious. I knew you were funny. You don’t have to worry, I’m not a psycho killer or anything, I’m just a big fan. And I would know the difference between you and a robot. I have 3 of them. I just didn’t want you to freak out and shoot me or something, the restraints are for my protection. People get lost in space and go… completely insane. You never know how long they’ve been alone out here."
“Like you?”
“See, that’s the snippy wit you don’t get in a robot. All I want is a few favors, I DID save your life, went out of my way risking my neck for an escape pod with a slim chance of survivors.”
“What… kind of favors?”
"Oh my gosh, nothing weird, not like that. Just maybe some pictures of us waving, maybe a personal intro thank you recording.”
“You realize nobody would believe it… because we all look the same, you can buy one of me online… cheaper than I’d like to think about… especially since you have 3 of them.”
“I know it’s a little creepy, trust me, people do some weird shit with them, but I’m definitely on the tamer side of what I used them for.”
“So you don’t fuck them? Then why do you have them”
“No, I fuck them, I’ll admit to that. Just not like the weird slave master harem, BDSM dungeon kinda stuff. I take very good care of them. You can ask them."
“I’d prefer not to.”
“Understandable. I get it.”
“So can we unchain me?” she asked.
“Promise not to stab me or rob me or tell the police I abducted you? I’ve had really bad first dates.”
“Well that explains living alone in space with 3 sexbots and being obsessed with a pornstar.”
“Yeah, sadly it kinda does. But this is so unreal. I get to meet the legend herself. Oh right, let me, unlock the… there ya go.”
“Thanks. You really thought I was gonna stab you or rob you?”
“You’d be amazed.”
“I am so new to this shit. But seriously, I’m not the original Dee. I’m a sex bot, that’s just been really heavily modified.”
“I did a DNA scan, you’re her.”
“Okay, funny story, I have her skin… and her heart, and her blood, and also her hair, so I would see how that would look confusing, but in case you were gonna move those favors into a personal direction… plastic vagina. Nothing special. Stock model, you know it already, it wouldn’t even be that great.”
“God, you’re such a quirky gal, I understand you have to protect yourself, it’s a creative story, you’re much smarter then people think, I knew it was just an act.”
“No, the real Dee is pretty stupid, she also can’t act. Hence why she went into porn. I’m just smarter because of the alien AI I have for a brain. I’d be hyper intelligent in fact but I’m limited by my power output so… still kinda dumb sometimes.”
"So if I had say, a hacking remote and pressed the emergency shutdown, you’d shut down, because you’re just a robot?” he said, pressing the button in front of her.
“Funny story, So I don’t have a wireless receiver, very secret reasons I cant discuss.”
“Oh my god, are you… not joking?”
“NO!”
“God, you must have hit your head or something. You really believe you’re a robot, either that or I was right and you are a phenomenal actor.”
“OW! The fuck was that… did you just poke me with a screwdriver?”
“And you felt it. Sorry if that hurt but… it shouldn’t have, if you’re a robot.”
“Oh for the love of dick, you’re not gonna get it, are you?”
“I’m too smart to fall for that. I’m like most of those jerk-jockies that follow 50 stars and have a 50 IQ. I know my queen when I see her.”
“Look, I don’t know if I should just roll with this and make your day better, like a roleplay thing, or if I should stick with my defense, because I feel like you refuse to accept it, true or not and I’m just gonna piss you off insisting so… you said autograph and some selfies, personal message introduction video?”
“I knew it was you. DAMN you’re good. On the spot like that just winging it freestyle, THAT is improv acting. You’re so much more than a pornstar, you really are a legend."
“So you have 3 robots total, and they’re all Dee models, or do you, like, repair sex bots and you have 50, and 3 of them are me.”
“Just you. I got the first batch that came out, the defective ones that had the bad battery that would catch fire. They refunded me with a brand new one but I just bought a new battery and kept it. it’s a classic. I keep it in the case. The other one is a backup because the prices went down so much I couldn’t NOT have a backup Dee. What if something goes wrong, the repairs are almost as much as a new bot. I got space, so I bought a second one. I hope that’s not weird.”
“No, it’s… I mean, the situation is weird but everyone needs a companion, I have one.”
“You have a companion bot?”
“No I have a real man… but he’s my companion. Oh my god, Jack is probably losing it thinking I’m dead. Oh god, poor Jack, we have to let him know I’m okay. Where’s my phone?”
“You didn’t have one. I don’t think it was in the escape pod.”
“Shit… I don’t know anyone’s number, it’s off record, we just have the phones. Oh my god, how do I find Jack… I’m gonna have a panic attack. Space is huge, did I just lose Jack forever?” she said looking dizzy and hyperventilating.
“Don’t think like that. Yes, he’s probably worried but we’ll let the authorities know you’ve been found, they’ll broadcast it, he’ll get the message eventually. It just may take a little while. Gotta be positive and patient. Don’t jump to the worst scenarios.”
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
“Okay, you’re right, gotta calm down. It’s gonna be fine, just might take a little while. This is temporary.”
...
Evil Dee looked in the mirror, baring her teeth and missing her fangs.
“It’s only temporary.” She reminded herself as she moved the crude mechanical fingers with disgust, borderline insulting for a being of her grandeur. Jack walked into the bathroom before rubbing her shoulders in a very casual manner. She closed her eyes, both missing his touch and glad to feel it, and angry that his hands were on another woman at the same time.
“Jack, I… can’t. I just...” she started.
“I was just being friendly. You’re acting strange, ever since you had to go battle mode on those bots. You know you didn’t do anything wrong. They were lethal, you were defending your life and ours. Don’t you dare feel guilty for defending yourself. You’re worth more than all of them.”
“I know.” She said coldly. “I just haven’t felt the same since. I guess when you download the ability to be a killer, it changes you… but… maybe for the better?” she said, looking sad and acting timid.
“I don’t care if you’re a soldier or a bartender. I love you for you, Dee.”
“Please don’t say that.” She sighed, stifling her mood. “I’m not enough for you, but I will be soon.” She said smirking in the mirror.
“I can’t wait, unfortunately with Gizzy handling a lot and no other biomech surgeon onboard, we have to.” He said as she stewed on the idea of what he meant. “I admit, I miss your hair longer, but the bangs look fine.” He said.
“I should just cut it all short at this point.” She sighed.
“Nah, leave it as it is or have Gizzy do a new wig. Short hair bothers me. Reminds me of someone else.” He said patting her and leaving the room.
...
The real fake Dee stood at the window of an unfamiliar ship, trying not to look at the trash and clutter around the place. The stranger approached her, silently waiting for her to notice his shirt. She finally did.
“Really? Me on a T-shirt? You really are obsessed with me, aren’t you? What’s so damn appealing?” she huffed.
“Well aside from your sparkling personality and your tits, your performances are absolutely-”
“Nope, don’t need to hear about the performances.”
“Oh don’t be ashamed. Everyone has sex, everyone works for money, you just do them both at the same time. Oh, I got this poster I’d like you to sign, and if you could do the wink pose, I’d love to get a selfie for social media. Could you wear something a little bit more… on-brand?” he asked.
“You mean slutty?”
Well, it’s not like we haven’t all seen everything a thousand times. I have plenty of outfits. If they fit the robots, they’ll fit you. They’re not made for comfort but for a few pics and a quick shout-out video I don’t think it would be that bad.”
“I don’t really feel comfortable… dressing down for the video and pics. Can I just do them as I am?”
“I guess that’s fine. I don’t wanna be rude but I did save your life and frankly I’ve donated a few grand, not to mention the money for the robots.”
“Yeah, you’d be shocked how little money goes to Dee, I mean me. You gave most of that to the company that makes us… them, the robots.” She stumbled.
“Still, I just thought, with what you did for a living, I can’t imagine you being shy. You do realize I’m taking you back to a spaceport and you’ll find your husband pretty soon. You don’t need to be gloomy. Cheer up. It’s a short inconvenience that could have been far worse. You could have been picked up by anybody, or nobody, and out here, I don’t know which is worse.” He huffed.
“No, I appreciate it, I really do. Thank you very much.” She said rolling her eyes. “I’ll put on one of the outfits.”
“Great, there’s at least a dozen to pick through, just whatever you think fits best.” He said, looking excited.
“Please hurry up and find me, Jack.” She muttered to herself.
...
Gizzy slumped over the table, as Vicki-Dee lifted her face off of it by the hair, checking to see if she was dead or asleep.
“Fuck off.” Gizzy wheezed, coughing up blood and shaking it off, returning to her work.
“You look like hell.”
“Thanks, Titty-toaster. I hadn’t noticed the decline myself.” She sarcasmed as she struggled to focus.
“That zombie bite really did a number on you, didn’t it?” she said while circling like a vulture.
“Who gives a shit? I got a better body almost ready to transfer. I just have to live long enough to finish it, without having to clone myself back fresh and start swapping organs all over. Waste of time we don’t have.”
“Why the rush?” she asked, testing her.
“I suspect we may have a fangirl following us. I wanna be good and prepared in case things get ugly. Right now I’m in no shape to fight, fresh clone could take 2 days to get back to working order and that’s just borrowed time.”
“I bet it cuts you to the cure doesn’t it? she asked.
“What does?”
“Rotting in that fragile human flesh. A god, an immortal, hive organism, just… trapped in a mortal body that’s dying and falling apart. Just a husk of something you consider less than you anyway, and now host to an infection you cant get rid of. Must feel pretty helpless.”
“If you’re trying to be encouraging or relatable or whatever you’re doing, you suck at it. Don’t worry, I got upgrades that will fix everything. Just not quite ready yet. Still missing some key pieces and some further bugs worked out of it.”
“Surely not just one. You should have backups.” She smiled. “Just in case.”
“I have plenty of plans, don’t worry. I always do. Oh, and your vagina is almost done cooking. Sorry it’s been a little delayed. I’ve been busy… coughing up pieces of lung.”
“So… still not eating?” the stranger asked as Dee watched TV and skimmed the channels.
“No, I’m on a diet.”
“You look great. I wouldn’t bother. You need to eat something.”
“I’m not hungry," she sighed, looking for a news story about her missing or found, wondering how relevant or famous she really was.
“So what is this Jack fellow do for a living? Online model too?”
“No, he kills people for a secret agency.” She said calmly, smirking as if joking.
“You know, you haven’t even asked my name.” he said. "It’s Jordan Wells.”
“Sorry, I’ve been a bit mentally occupied with some things. There’s some trouble back home… his ex wife showed her ugly face… well, someone’s face. I guess I cant trash her appearance given the circumstances. How good are men at detecting a liar or a snake in their presence?” she asked.
“Honestly, depends on the tits and the smile. We’re easily distracted creatures.”
“How far is the space station?” she asked.
“Oh, couple of days out. This isn’t the fastest ship in the galaxy. It’s more for comfort than speed. Bachelor comfort. So Jack is okay with your business choices?” he asked.
“Not… necessarily thrilled, but it is what it is. I’m less than thrilled with it myself.” She admitted.
“Oh come on. You love your job. You can’t fake that kind of enthusiasm forever. You’re a slut that was blessed with a body and skills. Be proud of it. Something has really rattled your usual chipper mood and bounce. That ex of his must be a hell of a threat.”
“You have no idea how dangerous that bitch is. But I trust him, he can handle her, he’ll see what she is and things will be okay.”
“Sounds like a lot of self-convincing. Maybe if they’re that hard to keep apart, they shouldn’t be. Maybe Jack’s not good enough for you. Maybe he deserves that lying bitch.”
“Please don’t say that. He’s all I have, and she’s a nightmare. I have to tell myself she can't win or I’ll lose all hope.”
“Love is a nasty thing sometimes. We’re better off without it. Stronger alone, independent. Someone like you relying on a man just doesn’t seem like you.”
“No disrespect, but you don’t know me or Jack.”
“I just know marriages never last and pornstars getting married always ends in drama twice as quickly and twice as dramatically. Face it, you were born a free spirit with a lot of life to live. If we’re being honest, I’m disappointed. I’ve seen you do some wild shit with a smile on your face and since I met you, you haven’t smiled once. You’ve changed. I don’t like seeing you this way, all down and mopey and defeated. Sounds like this Jack guy has really tamed you, and it’s a shame. You’re better than this.”
“He saved me.” She smiled.
“Yeah well, so did I and you barely even noticed. So is he better looking, rich, or just a stallion in bed?” he asked harshly.
“Hey, I’m sorry if I haven’t seemed grateful while the love of my life is with a psychotic con-artist vampire instead of me, I’m sorry if I didn’t meet your expectations under weird circumstances, and I’m sorry I’m a disappointment. But you don’t seem to understand, I’m not the Dee you think you know. You were sold a character for entertainment, and you got lost in that dream.”
“I see now… it’s just an act, all of it. Well some of us rely on the fantasy a little bit and if someone saved your ass from dying in space, you’d be smart to smile and play the part a little bit.” He said looking like a very different person than before. "You know I didn’t wanna mention anything, I know you recently had that abduction thing and almost got sold as someone’s pet, so I didn’t want to scare you, but we’ve been flying in circles for a day. There’s no space stations near here, not for weeks, I just thought maybe I could get to know you a little before sending you off. And you know what, I still am going to let you go, I promise, but I still believe the real you is better than this and I wanna see that side before you leave.”
“Wait… you’re keeping me hostage?” she asked.
“NO… no, it’s not like that. I didn’t plan this or anything, I didn’t put you in that escape pod, you ran from something and I found you just in time. I saved your life, but maybe you don’t really appreciate me because you don’t appreciate yourself, and that’s not the Dee I know. You’re a cocky, confident bad bitch that doesn’t take shit from some guy or his ex wife, and you don’t give up. So maybe fate put you here for a reason. You’ve been broken, weakened by something, and that’s unacceptable. You need to do what you do best… either get back up and stand on your own feet like an independent business woman who gives no fucks about that shit, or pretend like it, because either you always were, or you got soft, and I’m gonna make sure you leave here the way you were, that cocky bitch who knows her worth, or you’ll stay here for a while and find her.”
“You can’t just keep me here like a prisoner.”
“No, this is for your own good. You’re not a prisoner, you’re in rehab, little lady. Get your grit back.”
“I’m not Dee! And Dee never was a bad bitch, she’s a selfish, mooching, careless asshole who cheated on everyone and let her friends down and they had to rescue her. She’s a helpless pain in the ass that her own friends don’t respect. You’ve been fed a lot of propaganda to see videos and sex toys. I’m sorry but reality sucks.”
“Sure does. Take some time to reflect on that.” He said leaving and locking the door. She realized she wasn’t just on her own, she was fighting her own opponent.