Jack sipped his Old Fashioned by the holographic fireplace while staring out the window, watching the planet below. It was the color of oil film on a puddle with a thin hazy ring. Dee scooted up beside him.

“Careful with those. They’re technically poison after about 5.” She whispered.

“That’s why I had Gizzy set the bar to dispense a maximum of one per hour. I’m trying to stay afloat, not drown."

“So why did you say you wanted 24 hours alone and then bring me in here? I assumed you needed to take your frustrations out with some distraction but you haven’t even touched me. Well, not how I expected anyway.”

“There’s no point.” He shrugged.

“Now that you know I’m not your wife, I’m not as fuckable. I’m just a friend or at least I resemble an old friend.” She smiled sadly.

“It’s not that. I know you’re built to please others, not to be pleased. I know you don’t have everything fully equipped. Gizzy printed off skin but you were modified to be food not to have a full sex life you can enjoy. Doesn’t seem fair.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to be a robot too.” She said as she hugged him and rubbed his arm.

“Seems a little one sided if I’m the only one that can enjoy it.”

“Jack, I went from not having a body at all and being trapped in a tower on a dead planet to having freedom and then having the ability to feel. Having real human… well, lab grown human skin but organic human skin nonetheless. It may not be everything, but it’s something. We’re kinda stuck with it.”

“It’s not good enough. It’s not fair to you.”

“I understand if I’m not… what you hope for.”

“I didn’t say YOU weren’t enough, I mean this situation isn’t good enough. We’ll figure something out. I care about you.”

“I think you just miss your wife.”

“You don’t know what I feel. Even I don’t know what I feel, and I’m the only one who can. But I don’t wanna be alone, and I don’t want whatever I had and lost. Maybe we’re both just a lack of options, maybe this is bullshit, but maybe that’s all love is. Opportunity and limited options, mixed with bullshit.”

“I’ve seen the files. I’m not even your type. You like skinny, tall goth girls with combat skills.”

“Apparently not because you’re none of those and I find you fascinating. Even knowing the mystery now, I don’t find you less fascinating. You’re 3 different people all rolled into 1, a friend I knew minus the bad parts, a machine with a simulated program for a personality, and a totally different entity just living in that head of yours. It’s crowded in there, but it’s fascinating. I don’t know what the hell you are but I’m absolutely entranced by whatever it is.”

“It’s half a relationship. I’m half a person with limitations and half-assed adaptations. You could only ever have half a love with me.”

“I admit, half a love isn’t what I ever wanted, and it does feel like we both got cheated, but why throw away half of something potentially great and have nothing? I’ve had complete relationships with complete humans before, and it was always a disappointment. Humans are overrated as hell. You don’t wanna be one. Gizzy has a point there. Being a little bit inhuman is the best kind of human. Frankly, I’d rather have half a love with you than all of one with any of the humans I’ve had, and the one monster I loved almost killed me, so clearly that’s not something I intend to look for again.”

“I’m not even a real person.”

“Define real, Dee. No you’re not organic, I’m 100 percent copy/pasted lab grown meat, the whole crew is cloned, Nicole is part reptile, Gizzy is an ever changing trainwreck of god knows what abomination of necrotic flesh, metal, carbon fiber and alien tech, none of it original. You’re the only first generation of whatever the hell you are. The only part of you that’s a copy of someone else is your skeleton and… some unmentionables, plus a little personality quirk list. There’s nothing more original and unique than you are. We’re both alive and we both feel something, that’s real. Human, no, but real. We’ll figure something out.” He smiled.

“You dumbass soldier boy…” she chuckled sadly. “You’re committing to a sexless relationship with a sexbot and trying to have a human connection with something that’s only human… literally skin deep.”

“And you’re a literal sex machine on a ship of clones and a biomech overlord, worried that we can’t figure out how to make a complete body experience. You know, the original Dee never gives up on an orgasm. She’s stubborn, and she’s managed to make flesh and plastic suffice in a pinch. You think with all the technology we have you can’t do the same?”

“How would you know what the real Dee does?” she said suspiciously.

“I said I never had sex with her, I didn’t say I never clicked any of the videos. You haven’t? She really uploaded a simulated personality for realistic companionship and didn’t put all her video content in there as experience?”

“Everyone keeps saying she’s not that bright. Maybe I’ll check them out myself and see what’s worth saving.”

“So we’re not giving up on this crazy… whatever this is?”

“Don’t you dare go through all that shit and then expect ME to bail. If I quit on you, you have permission to stalk me and remind me that I don’t quit on this. Don’t you dare even let me quit. I probably have no legal rights to even get married, but… you wanna just pretend to still have a wife?” she asked. “For both of us?” she wished she had the ability to cry.

“Fuck it. Why not? People marry bridges and old buildings and a lot of guys fuck an artificial woman. At least mine is actually alive and consensual. I got all them beat on that one even if I don’t have a… “real wife” anymore.”

...

Jack and Dee sat at the breakfast table, Dee sipping her water from a redbull can as usual, periodically adding more water from a washed out vodka bottle. Jack ate his eggs and bacon, looking almost guilty.

“I hate eating in front of you, knowing you can’t.” Jack whispered.

“It’s fine. I don’t even know what I’m missing honestly. I just tune it out.”

“Well, the eggs are undercooked and the bacon is dryer than the burnt toast, so you’re not missing anything great. It’s just necessary protein and carbs to keep the body alive. Be glad you don’t need it. I’d just take a food pill if we had them onboard but they’re hard to find and we got crates of these military MREs, no sense in wasting it.”

“Well I hope you’re secretly enjoying it.” she said nuzzling his neck as Vinn and Nicole stared from the other side of the table, noticing the red hair.

“Problem?” Jack asked.

“Nope. Just a little… odd. Purely visually, with the… the likeliness.” Vinn said. “Just feels trippy, that’s all. No judgement.”

“I honestly am thrilled. I haven’t seen you look happy in a while and it was getting scary. You do you, however that works. It’s nice seeing you two together.” Nicole awkwardly shrugged.

“We got… virtually married. I don’t even know what that means but it feels nice. It’s hard to imagine having a wife anyway, so what’s the point of reference to compare to? I just know it feels less alone.” He said smiling.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

“I don’t approve of it.” Gizzy said, getting some coffee.

“Nobody asked you.” Nicole snipped.

“I just think this is dangerous and stupid.” Gizzy replied as Dee stood up.

“Why, because his last wife was homicidal you think his new fake one might be?” She barked as Gizzy rolled her eyes.

“None of this is real, it’s a game, and it’s delusional. Fucking a robot is one thing, Jack, that’s not my business but now we’re making her look more like Vicki and calling her your wife? That’s unhealthy. Screw her if you want, but don’t get lost in your own nightmare that you just got out of.”

“You know what, no, we’re not married in any legal capacity, we’re just proclaiming words that make us feel good. So of course it’s a bullshit fake marriage.” She said as Jack got up and walked off, refusing to be part of the subject. “Now you upset him. He WAS doing better and then you pissed in his cornflakes for no reason.” Dee huffed.

“Me? I stated the obvious. You’re pretending to be his dead wife, that’s not healthy for anyone let alone a mentally ill man who just lost everything. He has very little keeping him grounded and sane. He needs to either get his head straight alone or find someone real to move on with.”

“Maybe this is exactly what he needs to move on. No, it’s not ideal, but just because he’s mentally ill doesn't mean he can’t be happy with someone. You wanna disapprove of the one thing he has left? Show me these single human women all over the ship or the Wife-printer that I’m keeping him from. He doesn’t have any options except me, so I’m trying my best to be something positive.”

“We don’t even know you. You’re new to the crew.”

“And Vicki was everyone’s friend for years and years and she went murderous, so good job with truly knowing people. You wanna talk about delusional fake marriages? Your own wife.”

“My wife is not your business.”

“You don’t have a wife. Gizzy has a wife, you’re a clone of her with her memory and in love with a memory of someone else’s wife. You don’t even look like yourself, I’ve seen the ships files, I’ve read everything. I’m a damn AI, I read fast. You’re a fake Gizzy who’s single and pretending to have a wife at home to cope. You have no wife and this is your home. Nobody’d be mad if you found a lover by chance and stopped being such a bitch all the time, or printed off your own Izleena companion bot.”

“Don’t you dare ever mention her again in any negative manner or this may turn into toaster versus trash compactor.” Gizzy growled, eyes glowing.

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to invalidate your love, I’m just trying to validate mine. You’re just scared because Jack is vulnerable and as a surrogate mom…ish, you’re protecting him from something that might be toxic. And I may be toxic, I don’t know. None of us know. I may be the only hope he has or the worst thing possible. And it’s terrifying because I care about him too. The man almost killed himself because he’s alone. Please don’t take this away from him just because the definitions are grey. Vinn and Nicole just exchanged a bead and were married, like 2 weeks after meeting each other and they’re so in love it’s both adorable and almost gross.”

“Hey.” Nicole shrugged.

“The point is love is stupid and random and not perfect. Especially when two people involved are both damaged and missing pieces. What do you want me to do… ignore him? Be miserable and watch him be miserable? Should we both just be robots and screw but feel nothing? I can’t shut my feelings off, can you? Jack sure as hell can't, he’s human. You should be happy he found anyone. When you guys found me, I was alone and wanted to die. And I just hung on for a few hundred years till someone accidentally picked me up. We’re stuck on a ship in space with one monogamous couple, a tentacle monster, and you. The odds that a mentally ill companion bot who’s used to death and war would meet a mentally ill hitman who lost his wife and can’t go on without someone in her place are astronomical. It’s either impossible or inevitable odds, but it’s something. It’s astonishingly more than it likely should be.”

“You don’t know him like I do. I know when he’s not okay. If he was happy with you he wouldn’t be crying in the halls. Jack doesn’t cry. I’ve never seen Jack cry and now half the time he’s fighting tears. Like I am now.”

“I don’t know him like you guys do, nobody can, but… I scanned his crew files. I went over his biomedical data, I’ve slept with him, I read every shred of data on Jack in the last few days. I know how he got that shoulder injury that comes back after he’s cloned because it’s a genetic defect that gives out the first time he fires a 20mm, and then it clicks when he turns it. I know where he was born, his parents, I read his history, I probably know him in ways you all can’t, and I can’t know him in ways you all already do. I haven’t had time. And he barely knows me too but he knows I care, he knows I am programmed to be a companion, he knows all the parts of Dee that were programmed to make me more realistic, and we’ve just… clicked. We’ve cried together. You know you have a problem sharing emotions, Jack admitted that. You’re a stone cold militant badass boss bitch with a chip on your shoulder and 40 in your skull all programmed to be a weapon and unstoppable enemy. Do you ever just… hug someone? Do you ever tell anyone you love them for no reason, even if they know, just because it’s nice to hear someone say it?” she barked.

“ALRIGHT!” yelled Nicole. “Both of you shut your asses and sit down. Yeah, I mean you too Gizzy. Captain’s orders. Jack, get your ass back in here, now! Grab a chair, soldier. Now we’re stuck out here away from home in a stone spaceship powered by alien bullshit with a damn magic people printer, and a navigation system that runs on plot or something. We’ve all been through some dark shit, we’ve lost people, we’ve been betrayed and double crossed and tricked and we’re all on edge. We’re all on some addictive coping substance and ready to snap, but like it or not, this crew is a family. We may all be copies of people, but they’re all family and probably doing great and we’re not gonna let them make us look like assholes by being a happy family while we lose our shit and fight each other. Everyone stop targeting everyone’s weak points, we’re on the same side damnit. Now ALL of you listen closely. We have shit to do, boring daily shit and also cool space mission shit. Everyone has to pull their weight and mind their business about other people’s personal things.

"Vinn, I love you. You’re my husband, but you’re so damn big that it’s a mission issue. You barely fit in the shuttles, you can’t use the standard weapons, you hit your head on doorways, you have zero stealth, but you know the ship as well as I do and I don’t know how many times we’ve needed someone to bring an emergency shuttle to the rescue and he’s a drone pilot with military experience and hundreds of hours of video game flight experience. So honey, you’re gonna rock the ship and be the air support from here on out. Gizzy, you may be buttfuck insane and the scariest fighter we have, but you don’t know everything about everyone and you’re not the captain. When there’s a fight, you’re in charge, but you better not start one with any of the crew or I’m putting your ass on cleaning duty as the replacement maid. I’ll do it. Dee’s original sex doll outfit is stretchy, it will fit anyone… if you make it. I’ll lead a mission without you if you can’t be civilized.

"Dee, you’re one of us now, you’re family and that means no more staying on the ship babysitting the giant snails and dicking around. We need you on missions. We trust you, Gizzy is gonna have to trust you now, that’s an order, so your job is simple. Don’t break Jack’s heart. Gizzy is just being overprotective because the original Dee causes trouble and is banging her son and she’s frankly a bad influence, but she needs to realize Jack is not her dumbass son who needs someone holding his hand, he’s a grown-ass killer who needs to pull his shit together. And Gizzy, you need to stop treating her like the human she was modeled after and start treating her like part of this crew. Dee, don’t you dare fuck up and prove me wrong. Be better than what you were made to resemble.

Now Jack. You’re stronger than all of us, you have more heart and I know it’s broken right now but you got this. You always takes care of things and we rely on you to survive, so if you need healing time that’s fine, but if you ever try that airlock shit again even as a joke, I will kick your ass myself before Gizzy can get to it. And YOU will be the maid on this ship. Dress and everything. Don’t test me. I’d like to remind everyone why I’m the captain here. I’m the only one who got cloned against my will and stuck in space. Everyone else volunteered and trained, I just woke up an illegal copy with no home. I have zero military training, I’ve never killed anyone, but apparently God thinks I’m cute and whether or not I want to be, I keep getting main character roles, but you know what? I’m still here kicking ass and trying to lead because Vinn couldn’t go on without me. I bought the robot, I bought the… I stole the ship and then later got it legally registered, I rescued 3 professional killers when their ship blew up, and now you’re living in MY house and I will not tolerate any bullshit from anyone anymore. Personal demons, grudges, general intolerances and insecurities, bury them where they can’t get out. Mission starts in the morning. Use your day off wisely.” She said standing up and turning to storm off, turning and grabbing a piece of Jack’s bacon, snagging the whiskey out of Gizzy’s hand. He stopped her momentarily.

“Can I request the crew be present for a brief funeral service? We’re burying the dead, aren’t we?”

“Permission granted, and everyone is required to be there. Jack, this is your service."

...

They all stood, in black uniforms near the torpedo launcher, an empty tube with a picture of Vicki in it sat ready to go as Jack read his notes.

“Vicki, part of me will always be with you. You were a part of me that’s been cut out and left a wound I don’t know how to treat. But I don’t remember the times we had together or the moments we shared, just the ghost of something gone that can’t be found again. If you were half the person people say you were, you wouldn’t want me suffering, haunted by your ghost, so I’m saying goodbye to you, us, and the pieces of myself that belong to you now.” He said while tearing up and fighting his words. “But I have to let you go to keep going. If I failed you in any way, I’m sorry, but I hope you’re at peace. Goodbye.” He said before saluting and pressing the button. Dee hugged him and the others joined in, Gizzy reluctantly waiting till the last second and hesitating a bit before finally biting the bullet and joining in as well.