Please give me feedback on this chapter in this thread and rate the series!
This was my first chapter writing a longer than 1k amount of words. So it gets better as I got more used to the episodic writing style
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Chapter 1: The Misladen Fortune of the "Lucky" Clover.
Hi my name is the ironically named, Clover, whose life has been laden with misfortune. Perhaps I blame it on misfortune or some screwed up destiny but I was cursed with both feminine body and name.
I feel life is just a waste of time and I preferred to spend it alone and without anyone watching. I was neither the tallest or the shortest but for some reason because of my blessed name I always seemed to be the one who was picked on.
I realized from a young age I knew that my parents had rather idiotically stuck me with what a large portion of society would deem was a girl’s name. As such on the first day of kindergarten I was labeled an outcast by the other boys and made fun of for being named Clover. It wasn’t easy I admit. Soon I was everybody’s favorite person to insult or punch.
My teachers tried to bring me more into the group but that just drew ire from the other people. As a result I always drew my gaze down to try and bring less attention to myself. But that just made me more of a target as people viewed me “weak”
So as a result of always being picked on I made it a goal to stay away from others. I thought of myself as the lone wolf, the trailblazer and perhaps a bit of a maverick. But in the end I was simply deluding myself, I was at my very simplest:
a loner.
Because I separated myself from others I had to do something with my time. So I started developing hobbies, that “society” would not deem suitable for my age.
Throwing myself into books I ravaged any sort of information that I could get a hold of. I believed that books could never let me down and would never judge him. So as such were perfect companions for me.
As I grew older and entered into High School, a few guys tried to talk to me but they were all rebuffed as I no longer believed people. The only people I relied on were my parents
They did care for me but I know they didn’t quite accept or understand my reason for this obsession in scouring whatever knowledge I could find. They felt that it was better to work hard at school and make friends with people.
Hell I don’t even know why I had this thirst for knowledge. Perhaps it was just to fill the void I never knew existed.
This continued throughout high school. I had no one to talk to and so I padded out my time hunting for any form of knowledge that interested me, languages, technology, flora, fauna, literally anything that took my fancy
As others celebrated finished their high school with their friends, I felt my life was peaceful and deluded myself into thinking.
“My life’s pretty good, there’s no need for other people. Books will always be my friends.”
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Then tragedy struck.
One day my parents did not return.
I later saw on the news that it was the worst train wreck ever and hundreds had died in the all-consuming inferno. A thought that I never knew existed started expanding, no devouring my very consciousness.
“What now? Who can I rely on?”
My always supporting books were sold to pay for the funeral and university debt my parents had incurred in their earlier life
Soon any remaining money I had saved before was gone. Since I was already 18 years old and had no living relatives there was truly no one I could rely on. The pillar of support that had been my books and knowledge had up and vanished in a flash. Thrown to the streets with less money than an ugly whore on a cold night.
“Gone. Gone. Gone.”
Everything I thought that had been concrete and unmovable was gone in the space of a night. I felt a wave of helplessness engulf me. I truly felt alone.
“SCREW YOU WORLD. FUCK YOU DESTINY!”
I cursed all the known and unknown beings for setting my life on such a terrible course.
“WHAT KIND OF IRONY IS THIS? CLOVER. HAH! NOT VERY LUCKY WAS IT?”
I must admit anger seemed to flow over me as I swore at the unfair nature of this world. Then a thought came into my head. A completely insane thought that no sane human being should ever think. And as I reflect now what was I thinking?
“Let’s Just End it.”
I felt relief flow over me as I no longer cared about life and knew my life would end soon. So I trudged my way back to the kindergarten where my shitty life had begun. I was actually in such a good mood that I started singing.
“Always look on the bright side of life,
Always look on the right side of life,
What have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing
And you’re going back to nothing.
What have you go to lose?”
Singing the song over and over. Until I got back to my godforsaken kindergarten where my loner life began.
I slogged my way up the 5 floors until I climbed on top of the roof of the kindergarten.
“And now here we are.”
The cold ice bitten night wind clawed at my lips drawing whatever life I had left in my body.
What a shitty way to die isn’t it? No one will mourn my death, hell no one will care.
I stepped onto the ledge of the roof and looked down. A feeling of fear coursed through my body.
Out of instinct or perhaps just pure self-preservation, I fell back and landed on the snow covered roof.
“Shit I can’t even kill myself properly.”
I felt my body growing colder and colder into the warm embrace of death and oblivion. My consciousness fading moment…by…moment…
Just as I was about to fade off into the darkness, A booming voice crashed into my very state of awareness. Perhaps it was inside my head or right next to me. I no longer could tell.
“Do you want to start over?”
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