Somehow, I escaped from the supervisors. There’s no way in hell the ruler is training me seriously! Durandal’s training for me was equally as painful, but I—though it pains me to admit it—actually learned something from him! Not only that, but my body got stronger too. Here, I’m just being beaten by six squirrels for no reason. They’re not even trying to teach me anything; it’s just pure torture. I’m a little surprised they let me teleport away, but they’re probably bored of beating me or something. Mm, they’re supervisors. They’re supposed to be busy supervising. Even if the ruler wanted to bully me a bit because my ancestor rejected her way back when, shouldn’t she have gotten some less important squirrels to do the job?
Maybe I should leave the seven mountain ranges. The ruler said she’ll repair the teleportation gate, but how can I believe her? She said she wanted to help me get stronger through sparring, but that was clearly a lie. What if meditation doesn’t even increase my focus, and it was all just an elaborate ploy for her to waste my time? Ah, I wish Ilya were here. Then, I can pick her brain to help me. I can write her a letter, but I don’t even know if the ruler would even send it. I don’t know if she even sent the first one I wrote to Sophia! Grr. Just thinking about the ruler is making me mad.
“Can I have some more?”
Mm? Oh, it’s Slayer Junior’s sister, Fighter Junior. That’s not her actual name, but it’s still better than calling her Two. One and Two. What’s next? Three? If Fighter and Slayer have a third child, I really don’t know what I’ll call them. There’s no way I can call the kid Slayer Junior Junior or Fighter Junior Junior. It doesn’t make sense. Hmm.
“Please?”
Oh, right. “Yeah, sure.” I’ll just add some more meat onto Fighter Junior’s plate, and add some to everyone else’s plates because they finished theirs too. …And I’ll throw some over the side of the branch because a large number of squirrels are gathering beneath Fighter and Slayer’s home. Squirrel noses are just way too sharp; they can smell my cooking from a mile away. Or maybe my cooking is just that good? Yeah, that must be the case.
“So, this is the cooking worth protesting against a supervisor for,” a very familiar voice said. Before I knew it, the ruler was sitting beside me, her arm reaching into Sir Pot. She took out a piece of meat and stuffed it into her mouth. The meat was thick and chewy, but the ruler didn’t make any sounds while eating. How sharp were her teeth? Maybe she coated them with spiritual energy to help her bite better. Can people do that? I’m sure they can. If I can coat someone with qi and use them as a substitute weapon, I’m sure the ruler can coat her teeth with spiritual energy to bite better. The ruler placed her hand on my head. “It’s not bad.”
Why does she always place her hand on my head? It always feels like she’s going to Soul Scour me! Is she reading my mind right now? Gah! Behind you! There’s a giant tentacle monster! …She didn’t react, but that could be because she knows I’m trying to trick her. Knowing her, she probably has eyes on the back of her head.
If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.
“I don’t have eyes on the back of my head,” the ruler said and moved her arm back to her side. “But I can see everything around me. In fact, if I focus, I can sense the presence of a flea sitting on a squirrel six mountain ranges over.” The ruler smiled at me. “If you follow my training, you’ll be able to do the same as well.”
She always says if I follow her training or listen to her, I can do the things she can do. But it’s a trick! Why would anyone teach an unrelated person their secret techniques and skills? I remember there was that one person who kept trying to be my disciple, so I would give him free stuff and support without getting anything in return. I might not remember his name, but I do remember he was Treasure Finder’s friend. Right, there’s no way the ruler made me her disciple out of goodwill. If anything, since she’s lived for so long, she must have tons of children she already taught the techniques too! Mm, she’s my master, so she won’t get upset if I ask her personal questions, right? “Say, do you have any kids?”
The ruler blinked at me. “Kids? No,” she said and gave me a wry smile. “The technique I’ve cultivated makes it … difficult to have children.”
Huh. It’s not often that I’m wrong, but I guess it does happen sometimes. Wait a minute. If her technique makes it difficult to have children—
“I won’t teach you that one,” the ruler said and grinned at me. “It’s the Impenetrable Body Technique.” The ruler pulled a really fancy sword out of her interspatial ring. There were runes all along its blade, and when she waved it in my general direction, it felt like a prehistoric beast was staring at me, making my tail stiff and causing goosebumps to appear on my arms. Then, the ruler slashed the sword down right on her arm! A thunder-like sound rang out, and the blade snapped into two parts! “See?”
…What was I supposed to see?
“Even a transcendent sword can’t penetrate my skin,” the ruler said before passing me the fragmented sword. “Here, you can feed this to your weapon spirit. Since it’s broken, he shouldn’t explode upon consuming it. If he tried to eat the whole thing, his core would definitely be damaged. As for when you feed him, that’s up to you. You can bribe him into doing things or bully him for fun.” She winked at me and patted my arm.
“Oh, uh, thanks.” I still don’t get it. What does her technique have to do with having kids? It seems like a really strong technique though! If I learn it, couldn’t I ignore every attack being thrown at me? “Why does the technique make it hard for you to have kids?”
The ruler stared at me. “Impenetrable Body Technique.”
That’s the name of it, yeah?
“Impenetrable. Body.”
I don’t get what she’s trying to say. “…Technique?”
The ruler glanced at Slayer Junior and Fighter Junior sitting next to me. Then, with a wave of her arm, they were swept backwards and fell off the branch! “Nothing can penetrate me,” the ruler said. “Even down there. Do you understand now?”
Penetrate? Down there? Hmm. Hmm? Hmm! Oh! “I get it now! Any penis that goes inside of you will break!” Mm, no wonder why she booted the kids off the branch. It’s a shame such an incredible technique has such a huge downside. …I still want to learn it a little, but I’ll have to make Durandal’s body extra, extra sturdy. Ah!? “Is that why my ancestor rejected you!?”