Ah, as I thought, Softie’s the best. She always agrees with me and knows I’m right. When I told her how Ilya didn’t want to follow me anymore, Softie was outraged, but she seemed happy at the same time. I’m not sure why. And when I told her Durandal was giving me the cold shoulder because I accidentally killed him, she became even happier! But then she showed outrage, so it was okay. Also, I’m pretty sure the barkeep is completely smitten by Softie. Every time she looks at him, he freezes up like a statue and stutters if he has to speak. He also sweats a lot around her. He’s so nervous that it seems like he’s avoiding her. It’s a good thing I’m here to put them in the same room, or he’ll never stand a chance.

But it feels like I’m forgetting something…. What was it…? Ah! That’s right! Before I even wanted to save Softie, I wanted to find the feather to make me sneeze my way into becoming an immortal! Didn’t that heart inside of me tell me to go to the Slaughter God’s Tomb to help me become an immortal? How come I don’t feel like anything’s changed? Well, I did learn a so-called soul-strengthening technique, but I don’t think I needed to go to the tomb to learn that. I could’ve learned one anywhere. Ah? Where would I have gotten such a huge bone of knowledge if not for the tomb? It’s not like I needed it anyway. After all, I’m smart enough without it to learn whatever I want!

Anyways, maybe I picked up the thing I need to become an immortal without realizing it? What exactly did I get…. I got this crappy crown that doesn’t do anything anymore since I burned away the ghost inside of it. I got this crappy tablet that’s also dead; it taught me Despair Conversion. Could Despair Conversion be what I need? It’s supposed to help me get stronger by converting people’s despair into qi, but I don’t want to feel other people’s despair. I’d much rather be happy, thank you very much. And in the Death God’s Tomb, I got this skeleton that belonged to an immortal, and a piece of squirrel fur. I could engrave something onto this skeleton and absorb it, but I don’t see how that would help me become an immortal. As for this squirrel fur…. Mm? What’s this? It’s making my tail feel funny when I touch it. Is this it? This piece of squirrel fur is what I need to become an immortal?

“What is that?” Softie asked and pointed at the fur I was holding. “Some kind of blanket?”

“No, this is squirrel fur.” Mm? Does that automatically make it not a blanket? “But I guess it can be used as a blanket too.” Maybe if I sleep with it, it’ll make me stronger. If Ilya were here, I could order her to figure out a use for this piece of fur, but she ran away. I’m convinced. This piece of squirrel fur is definitely my ticket towards immortality! How do I know? It’s a hunch, and my hunches are only wrong some of the times! Like thinking Mrs. Feathers died because she didn’t show up in the third trial of the Death God’s Tomb. That hunch was wrong, and since a hunch was wrong recently, then this hunch must be right! “With this, I’ll become an immortal soon!”

Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

“Really?” Softie’s eyes lit up. “That’s great!”

Ding, ding.

“Oh.” A tablet appeared in front of Softie, and she frowned. “Sister Ilya sent me a message.”

Why didn’t she send me one? “What’s it say?”

“There’s an explanation on karma…,” Softie said, “and it’s directed towards you. If you do good deeds, you’ll obtain good karma. If you do bad deeds, you’ll obtain bad karma. Lots of good karma will make your tribulation easier while lots of bad karma will do the opposite. Since you have no moral compass and neither know what’s right nor wrong, Sister Ilya sent you an easy task that you could do to accumulate good karma.”

Eh? “What does she mean I don’t know what’s right nor wrong?” I know what’s right because I’m smart! “Wait. Why did Ilya send me a message through you? Why didn’t she just send it to me?”

Softie tilted her head. “Didn’t you say you two got into a fight? Maybe she doesn’t want to speak with you right now, but that doesn’t mean she’s not going to help you when there’s an opportunity to.”

Hmm…. “Is that so…?”

“There’s another reason too,” Softie said. “It’s much easier to organize a task in written words. Maybe she was afraid you’d mishear her and do something wrong. Also, with words, if you forget some details, you can always look at the task again without asking her.”

“Then she could’ve sent it to me in words!”

“But you can’t read?”

“I can! I learned from the fake Ilya I was telling you about!”

“…Sister Ilya doesn’t know that,” Softie said. “I bet if she did, she’d’ve sent you the message instead.”

Mm. That makes sense. “So, what was this easy task I could do?”

“There’s a large group of bandits in a neighboring county that’ve been causing trouble for many cities. Apparently, they have two sky-realm experts leading them, and it’s difficult for the law-enforcing officers to detain them. So, the leader of one of the largest cities in that county made a request to the Karma Association to put a stop to the bandits’ activities.”

Ilya wants me to get rid of some bandits? “Wait, what do I get out of doing this? Do I get paid?”

“Err, no,” Softie said. “The point of doing a good deed is for the sake of doing a good deed. If you get paid, it’ll nullify the karma.”

“How do you know that?”

“Sister Ilya left a postscript,” Softie said and turned her messenger around. She pointed at the bottom. “See? If Lucia asks what she gets out of doing this, tell her that she has to do it selflessly for it to matter.”