Ilya made me a necklace of intelligence! It also counters illusions, but that’s whatever. This necklace makes me smarter! It’s only now that I can appreciate how smart Ilya is. She’s so smart, she can make other people smart too! I can feel my thoughts moving faster already. “Thanks, Ilya!”
“You’re welcome,” Ilya said and sighed as I hugged her. “You’re squishing me. And don’t tell anyone about its effects, or I’ll be swarmed with requests to make these.”
“Got it!” If everyone had a necklace of intelligence, then I’d only be at an average intelligence. There’s no way I can let anyone else know; that way, I’ll be smarter than everyone else. Wow! This necklace is working already!
Before I could go off to find Softie to bug her, the boat tremored and thudded. The table in Ilya’s room shook, but I didn’t move because I was rooted in place by my Footsteps of the Giant. What was that? Were we under attack again? I focused my thoughts onto the deck of the ship, and poof! I reappeared next to a startled disciple. How come I always appear next to startled people? Hmm. Even with this necklace of intelligence, it’s still a mystery. Oh wells. “What’s going on?” Why did we land?
“Chosen Lucia!” the startled disciple said and bowed at me while cupping her hands. “We’ve reached the border of Kang County. This is a no-fly zone.”
“Kang County? Not country? Weren’t we going to Kang Country’s imperial city?” I’m pretty sure that’s where we were going. No, I’m definitely sure!
The disciple kept her head lowered. I could feel the heart devil inside of her wiggling. When did I traumatize her? Don’t tell me she was one of Softie’s suitors. “Kang Country’s imperial city is located in Kang County which is located in Kang Country. Our Kong County is also a part of Kang Country.”
…Whoever made this confusing naming system deserves to be taken behind a shed and put down. “And no one’s allowed to fly here? Then how the heck are we supposed to travel around?” I’ve gotten too used to this boat! It’s a moving mansion! I can go anywhere in the world without leaving my house! Taking away my boat might as well be taking away my life!
“There’s a city ahead that we can rent carriages to travel in.” The disciple raised her head and pointed over the edge of the boat. I squinted because the sun was too bright. Ah, there really is a city. It doesn’t really look too impressive. There’s no giant wall. There’s no phoenixes or giant clams. There’s no raging bulls or disciples flying in the air. How boring. I guess sects really were richer than cities, huh?
“Fellow brothers and sisters. We’ve arrived at the border of Kang County. Get ready to dismount.”
That was Softie! The boat has this formation that you can speak into and everyone on board will hear it. It’s fun to whisper into it at night pretending to be a ghost. I planted two heart devils that way! Ah. Maybe one belonged to this disciple. Ahem. It wasn’t me! It was a ghost. Anyways, I really don’t want to walk. I like this boat. A lot. “I have an idea!” I teleported to the talking formation and appeared next to Softie, who was startled. “Don’t get ready to dismount! We’re riding this boat all the way to the capital!”
“L-Lucia?” Softie asked. “We’re not allowed to fly in Kang County.”
“Yeah, I know. But I have a plan because I’m smart!” I pictured the tree that I saw off the side of the boat and teleported there. Whew, it was bigger than I thought, but that’s okay. With a good thwack of my hammer, it fell over. Then I knocked over the other tree next to it. I dropped them into the interspacial ring and made my way back to the boat. I didn’t teleport because it’d be faster to get where I wanted by jumping once. I landed on the ground next to the boat’s bow and pulled the tree out of my interspacial ring. Now how do I do this…? Hmm. Rope! I tied the tree to the boat before teleporting to the boat’s stern and attached the other tree.
“Lucia? What are you doing?” Softie asked from up above. She was leaning over the side of the boat.
“I attached wheels to the boat to make it into a carriage!” Aren’t I a genius? The boat’s as big as a three-story building, so it might be a little conspicuous, but I’m sure I can convince people into believing it’s a carriage with a little persuasion.
“But the way you tied the trees to the boat make it so that they can’t function as wheels…. They can’t spin.”
“They don’t have to spin, silly! We just have to pretend they do! Just fly the boat along the ground and no one will know.” This necklace of intelligence is the greatest thing Ilya has ever created. I can’t believe I didn’t get her to make me one earlier. Do you know how much easier my life would’ve been if I could’ve come up with these brilliant ideas all the time? I teleported back onto the boat and sent some qi into its steering wheel. “Full speed ahead!”
“W-wait!” Softie shouted as she ran up to me. “We can’t do this!”
Hmm? “Why not?” My plan’s perfect.
“No one will ever believe this is a carriage. I-it’s clearly still a flying boat.”
Pshaw. “And who’s going to stop us?”
“Halt!” A group of people appeared out of nowhere! Don’t instantly answer my question, world! “Flying is prohibited beyond this point!”
Softie lowered her head. “S-sor—”
“We’re not flying!” I spent so much effort attaching those wheels to the boat! I’m not going to let that effort go to waste. “This is a carriage. You can see the wheels in the front and back.”
“…Those are trees.”
“And what are wheels made out of? Dead trees!”
“…Please stow your boat.”
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
“This is a carriage.” I accidently retrieved my ten-ton hammer from my interspacial ring and accidently waved it at the group of people in a threatening manner.
“Are you threatening us?”
“…No.” Hey. It’s embarrassing if you call me out like that. I thought Immortal Continent natives were all about subtlety and face. Jeez. “Anyways, this is a normal-sized carriage shaped like a normal-looking carriage being driven on the road like a normal carriage with normal wheels. There’s nothing out of the ordinary here, right?”
The person at the head of the group looked at the people behind him. They all nodded. “Start the sealing formation.”
Did my persuasion fail? But I’m so charismatic! Alright, let’s give them a few whacks since they can’t recognize greatness when they see it. “Unrelenting Path of Slaughter: Breaking Madness Hammer Strike!” And … they’re gone. Perfect! I smiled at Softie and stowed my hammer. “You see that? With a little bit of persuasion, you can convince anyone that you’re right. Now, full speed ahead!”
Softie stepped towards the edge of the speeding boat and looked in the direction those people flew. “Those were imperial soldiers….”
Part 5
I, Soft Moonlight, have been a law-abiding citizen all my life. I’ve never committed any crimes. I’ve never broken any rules of etiquette. I’m the model of a goody-two-shoes. Yet, here I am, a wanted criminal. Lucia’s smacked everyone who tried to stop our boat: imperial soldiers, mercenaries, robbers, citizens. When I told her she’d spread a bad name for our Shadow Devil Sect if she did that, she promptly switched out the crests, sails, and flags with the bandits’ that had tried to rob us earlier.
“Chosen Lucia!” the disciple on the boat’s crow’s nest shouted. “There’s a fully armed squad of soldiers heading our way!”
Lucia paused from her feast of aurochsen and looked up. “Does it look like they want to talk?”
“Actually, yes…,” the disciple said, his voice faltering. “They’re waving a white flag.”
“Oh?” Lucia nodded. “That’s great! It means I can keep eating.”
A white flag? I don’t think the army will have any face if they surrender like this. But Lucia’s practically as strong as a sky-realm expert albeit a low-ranked one. All the earth-realm experts that have tried to intercept us so far were beaten and stripped of everything before being tossed aside. Ilya even shaved them to take their hair as an alchemical ingredient. I really wish to see Lucia and Ilya’s home plane. How dreadful are the conditions in there that they learn to not waste a single bit of anything?
It didn’t take long for the squad to reach the boat because the boat was heading straight for them without pause. Lucia did finish her lunch though. When she was done, she sauntered over to the side of the boat and rested her arms against the railing while leaning over. “Is that them?”
“Greetings, Shadow Devil Sect.” The leader of the group cupped his hands towards us. He was wearing a grey robe with a crest that looked like a shield on his chest. The group exchanged glances, and then they ran after us because the boat wasn’t stopping. “W-wait! I wish to speak with you!”
The disciple at the steering wheel looked at Lucia. “Chosen Lucia. What do I do?”
“Just keep going,” Lucia said. “If they really wanted to talk, they’d get on the boat somehow.” She yawned and smacked her lips a few times. Then she took a mattress out of her interspacial ring and placed it in a patch of sunlight on the deck. Like a log, she flopped onto the plush surface and was snoring within seconds. Lucia is … a terrible, terrible cultivator. But she’s a genius with talent that maybe one person per generation will ever have. Despite the impurities she’s built up and the constant breaks she takes to eat and sleep, her cultivation is progressing at lightning speeds. I wouldn’t be surprised if she reached the sky-realm in a decade. Will I still be traveling with her at that time…?
If I want to stay by her side, I have to become stronger. Even Ilya is catching up to me in strength! But I’m not able to plant heart devils as easily as Lucia. And my talent is only so-so. If it weren’t for all the immortal pills that my grandfather fed me while I was growing up, I wouldn’t even be where I am today. …Maybe I don’t deserve to be by Lucia’s side. E-even if Lucia grows apart from me, I’ll be fine. I was always alone anyway. I, I can go back to living how I was…. No! I have to try harder! Staying by Lucia’s side has caused my cultivation to stagnate. I have to stop sleeping and eating and taking breaks to accompany her and her games. If only I could have a miraculous encounter that lets me grow by leaps and bounds…. There are many stories like that. An untalented individual discovers the legacy of a supreme being and suddenly becomes a peerless genius. But wishful thinking won’t get me anywhere. At the end of the day, it’s hard work that counts.
Well, isn’t that also why my grandfather wanted me to join the army? Danger and battle is the best opportunity for growth. Sparring in the sect and meditating inside of a cave can only do so much. I’m nervous and scared though, but I feel a little reassured since Lucia’s here. Will I be able to kill someone…? I…, to follow Lucia, I’ll do whatever it takes.
“Sister Moonlight, are you alright?” Water Lily, a core disciple, walked next to me. “You’re trembling. It must be tiring taking care of Chosen Lucia every day. At least she sleeps a lot.”
I shook my head. “It’s not tiring at all.” I’ve had the most fun in a long while because of her. “It’s quite exciting, really.”
Water Lily laughed. “I suppose this is why Sister Moonlight is a chosen and I’m merely a core disciple. Our attitudes are much too different. Thinking of the bounty placed on our heads, I’m more afraid than excited.” She smiled at me before gesturing towards the soldiers, who were still running alongside the boat. “Are we really not going to stop? Chosen Lucia rushes as if she’s in a hurry, but she acts as if she has all the time in the world. Geniuses sure are different.”
“Lu—Chosen Lucia isn’t that odd….”
Water Lily raised an eyebrow. “I was referring to Sister Moonlight as well. It’s normal for a genius to think of another as an equal.”
“You think I’m a genius? I don’t think I am….”
Water Lily furrowed her brow. “Sister Moonlight certainly knows how to joke around—I wasn’t aware. If Sister Moonlight isn’t a genius, then what am I? Trash?”
“N-no. I didn’t mean it like that.” Before I could explain any further, the group of running soldiers let out a unified shout and leapt into the air, landing directly onto the deck! They really jumped on! Do I wake Lucia? N-no. I can handle something like this. I’m a chosen of the Shadow Devil Sect as well! I cupped my hand towards the soldiers, but I didn’t lower my head. “Greetings.”
The leader of the group panted twice before lowering the white flag in his hand. “Greetings, Shadow Devil Sect. I’ll get straight to the point. Our group was sent by the guard captain to escort you to the imperial barracks.”
“Escort us?” The army would never send people out to escort a squad that hasn’t even been officially sworn in.
“That’s correct. We’ve received a message that your squad has been causing trouble along the road, and we’re here to keep you in check. You can refer to me as Captain Rock. Once you join the army, I will be your superior. Are you the leader of this squad?”
“No.” I shook my head and pointed at Lucia. “She is.”
“…Her?” The soldiers all stared at Lucia, who was still snoring away in her patch of sunlight. “She won a province exchange and terrorized our patrols?”
“Correct. I wouldn’t wake her up,” I said as Captain Rock stepped towards Lucia’s mattress. “She gets grumpy when she wakes up unnaturally. And horrible, horrible things happen when she’s grumpy.”
Captain Rock snorted. “Nonsense. Our Kang Country’s army has superior discipline. How can I allow my future subordinate to sleep during the day while the sun is overhead?” He took another step towards the mattress, and all the Shadow Devil Sect disciples above deck ran away towards the cabin below. Of course, I followed them. I might not have witnessed what happened, but I could easily tell from the shouts and screams and the familiar wails that accompany men and women as their pants are torn away unwillingly.