Four hits! That’s all it took for the lightning to break through the turtle. I’ll store the turtle bits back into the ring with the wok since it’s perfectly broken. Ah! What am I supposed to do now? The sky doesn’t look like it’s going to stop any time soon…. Just a moment ago, the lightning bolt was weak enough to dodge. Now, it’s strong enough to break something that I couldn’t! At this rate, the lightning will get super-duper strong and I’ll die if I get hit! Mm? Isn’t that the answer? All I have to do is not get hit. Then I won’t die! This’ll be easy!

Bzzz!

Wait a second…. Is that lightning turning into a ball!? I remember this! The ball chases after me and doesn’t stop until it hits something! Someone? Until it hits someone! And that someone’s going to be me! Unless…. Where are all the people I stored? I think they were in that building over there. I’ll teleport over there and check. Hmm? I swear I stored them here! Where did they go?

Bang!

Gah! The building collapsed! There’s a ball of lightning approaching me. Eh? It’s just approaching…. It’s not even moving that fast. I can easily get out of the way, but it follows me. Isn’t this a bit too mean? I have to run if I don’t want to get hit by it, but it seems like it doesn’t want to stop chasing me. I’ll definitely get tired out before it does! Can lightning even get tired? I don’t think it can.

Bzzz!

Ah? Another ball of lightning is forming in the sky! I haven’t even finished dealing with this one yet! How strong is it…? Alright, I’ll test its strength. “Puppers, destroy that lightning ball!”

Puppers sighed, but he appeared in front of me anyway. He took out his spear and stabbed it into the ball of lightning. And then he exploded. Ah, he dropped his spear. It’s pretty sturdy seeing as it didn’t break. At least the ball of lightning disappeared too! But there’s another one coming towards me from the sky, and I only had one Puppers! “Durandal! Help!”

“You’re not going to Soul Scour me when I come out, right?”

Ooh, that’s a good idea. Err…, I mean. “No! Of course not!” This is seriously dangerous! Puppers and Durandal were supposed to only be a little weaker than me. And if Puppers exploded, then that means I’ll explode as well! Gah! Where are these stupid people!? Did they run away? How would they run without their legs though? And I swear I tied them up with ropes. Then, while Durandal’s taking care of this lightning ball, I’ll find some people to help me block the lightning balls. Find some people! Find some people. Find some people…. Where the hell is everyone!?

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Bang!

And there goes Durandal…. Puppers said there could be up to eighty-one strikes of lightning. Eighty-one! I’m not sure if I can even count that high! This is really unfair! Why are tribulations even a thing? I became strong; I don’t need a test to prove it! “You stupid heavens, don’t you think you’re bullying me too much!?”

“No.”

Fuck! Who said that!? Wait, was that the heavens? The heavens can speak!? “Hang on! Before you fire another ball of lightning at me, why don’t we have a chat?” …It ignored me! Another ball of lightning is heading this way! Ah? Is that a person? No, that’s two persons: the old man and his apprentice! Wait! That no from earlier; it definitely sounded like this old man’s voice! “Hey! Old man! Help me out a bit. Wait! Where are you running!?”

Ah? What’s going on? I’m running at my highest speed, but I can’t seem to catch up to the old man and his apprentice. And the lightning ball is steadily getting closer! I can feel it tingling against my tail. Is it slowing me down? It’s like I’m being pulled towards it! I think that’s why I can’t catch up to the old man. Grr…. I’ll throw things at it until it disappears! Mm, let’s start with a mountain!

Boom!

Um, the mountain crumbled apart, and the lightning is still as bright as before. A building won’t work either. What about the golden pillar I used as a stirring rod? That seemed pretty solid! I’ll test it out. With how large it is, I won’t even need to throw it. I’ll just infuse my qi into it and … swing!

Gah! My arms! My shoulders! My body! I hit the lightning with the pillar, but it feels like I punched the ball instead! The lightning flowed straight through the pillar and into me! Eh? It flowed into me, but I didn’t explode. I just feel really, really sore. And my ears won’t stop twitching. My tail too. Ah, now that I think about it, my arms and legs aren’t really listening either. This isn’t good. Another ball is—nope, never mind, that’s just a normal lightning bolt.

Bang!

Eh? I got up and tried to dodge, but I couldn’t really work my legs properly, so I barely moved, but the lightning missed anyway? It hit the golden pillar instead. Hmm…. Well. I’m definitely not going to touch that pillar now. Is the lightning just trapped inside, waiting for me to touch it and set it free? Oh, there’s another lightning bolt building up in the clouds, but my tail isn’t reacting. I’m not sure if that’s because there’s no danger, or if it’s because my tail is still acting funny from being zapped. I hope it’s because of no danger. Please.

Kaboom!

…Is this for real? The lightning hit the golden pillar again! It completely missed me, and I didn’t even try to move this time! It headed straight for me, then it suddenly jerked to the side and hit the pillar instead. Is this pillar a special artifact made to pass tribulations? That must be it! “Hah! Bring it on, you dumb heavens! You can’t bully me anymore!”

Bzzz!

It’s a ball of lightning this time, and it’s moving really fast right at me! Do the heavens understand me? That shouldn’t be the case, right…? Anyways, I’ll prepare some defenses! There’s still a few big bits of the turtle shell that I can use as a shield against the ball. Alright, I’m ready! The ball’s almost here, and it … curved straight into the pillar? Mm? Can I pass my tribulation just by standing here…?