Softie’s not responding. I think she passed out. Mm, that must be it.

“Lucia, calm down, okay?”

Calm down? What does Ilya mean calm down? Is there any reason why I wouldn’t be calm? Hmm. There shouldn’t be. It’s not like Softie died. See? She’s still breathing. …Right? “Ilya, Softie’s not breathing. Cultivators don’t have to breathe to survive, yeah?” I’m pretty sure they don’t. They don’t have to eat, so why do they have to breathe?

“Hang on,” Ilya said and came next to me. She squatted too. “Let me check.”

“I said she was dead, didn’t you hear me? Dead! She, a mere earth-realm expert, exchanged her life to seal a quasi-immortal. She should be proud of her death.”

Softie’s not dead, alright? “Puppers. Shut her up.”

“Sure thing.”

“Hey! Where do you think you’re—? That’s my sock. What are you going to—mmph!”

“Little Hong? Wait, don’t look at me like that. She still has Hu Shen as a hostage. You shouldn’t be provoking her.”

“Puppers! Shut him up too.” This man’s voice is annoying! He hasn’t said anything wrong, but it’s annoying because he’s him! If he didn’t attack me in the first place for no good reason…, hmph! Anyways, Ilya’s face looks pretty serious. How hurt is Softie? “Ilya? How is she?”

Ilya cleared her throat and turned away from Softie to look at me. “There’s these pills called virility pills. You can make them with the core of a world tree along with—”

“I’ve heard of those!” Right! Pill? World tree? That’s totally the pill I’ve had Softie record the recipe of from the old man I Soul Scoured. “Along with ginseng and lotus and dragon penis, right?”

Ilya’s brow wrinkled. “Why would someone like you know a recipe like that?” she asked. “Then you should know its effects, right?”

“Um, it can fix Durandal’s penis problems, but why are you bringing something like that up now?” Didn’t I ask about Softie? It’s nice that Ilya figured out a way to fix Durandal, but he’s not what I’m worried about. Softie’s not breathing. How can I not be worried about her?

“There’s nothing wrong with my penis!”

“That’s just a secondary effect,” Ilya said and shook her head. “The main purpose of the pills is to give life to something.”

“Mm? Like giving life to Durandal’s penis. I already got that.”

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“Lucia….”

Hmm? What’s Durandal want from me now? Was shutting that old man up harder than I thought? No, he’s sitting there with a sock in his mouth. He’s not even tied up or anything. Did he put the sock in there himself? He must really care about his disciple, huh?

Ilya sighed. “I don’t know why I try to allude to things while talking with you,” she said. “Alright, Softie’s dead, but with the virility pill, we can bring her back to life. Don’t worry; the ingredients of the pill might seem rare, but I can make one pretty easily once we go back to the Shadow Devil Sect. For now, you should freeze Softie and store her in your life pouch.”

Freeze Softie? Shadow Devil Sect? Virility pill? Wait, Softie’s dead? Really? Really, really? “Who…, who killed her?”

Ilya pointed at the severed head with a sock in its mouth. “She’s been admitting it for a while now.”

“Durandal! Off with her—!” Uh…, her head’s already off. Hmm…. “Wait, don’t do anything to her.”

“Lucia?” Ilya asked. Why was she so far away all of a sudden? “Are you feeling okay?”

“Feeling okay? I feel fine, why?”

“Well, I mean, there was that time you thought Durandal died, right? And then you kinda went a little crazy and killed everyone around you.”

“Ah? Did I?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Mm, I don’t remember that happening. Since when did I murder people? Like never. Mhm, that’s right. “Anyways, you said we can bring Softie back to life, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then once Softie comes back to life, I’ll let her choose how she wants to get revenge.” Right? If I punished this severed head while Softie’s still dead, she wouldn’t be happy, but if she came back to life and punished the head herself, I bet it’d make her feel a lot better. Getting revenge always feels great. …Mostly.

“Hang on a second,” Ilya said. She was suddenly close to me again. Why’s she touching my forehead? “Are you sick? A fever, maybe?”

“No?” Did someone try to attack me with an illness? “Why?”

“It’s just that, you’re not acting like the Lucia that I know….” Ilya frowned. “The Lucia that I know would get angry, slaughter everyone she saw, and then pretend like it wasn’t her doing. However, it seems like you didn’t even get mad, and you actually said something sensible. What’s going on?”

…Ilya’s complimenting me, right? So how come it feels so much like an insult? Besides, who said I’m not mad? “I’m plenty mad!”

“You say that, but you haven’t done anything to show it.”

“That’s because I haven’t gotten what I want yet!” These people were surrendering, and they were going to give me lots and lots of stuff as compensation. Once they give me everything, I’ll raze the whole sect to the ground! Since Softie died, of course this sect has to pay. “I’m going to take everything that everyone in this sect owns. Then I’m going to find their families and take everything they own too. And after that, I’m going to cut off all their limbs and store their bodies in a box and let Softie decide what to do with them after she comes back to life.” Hmm? Why’s everyone staring at me like that?

“Can you, um, turn back to normal?” Ilya asked and raised an eyebrow. “You’re supposed to be the hot-anger type of person, where you act on impulse and start smashing things when you’re mad. It’s really unsettling when you suddenly switch to cold anger, where you plot to harvest the limbs of millions of people after sending them into poverty….”

“Ahem.” Mrs. Feathers cleared her throat. When did she get here? “This is one of the effects of the Secret Phoenix Rebirth Technique I taught Boss. It automatically converts feelings of anger into fire essence that merges with her qi. People with explosive tempers progress especially fast while cultivating, and they become calmer too.”

…How come I wasn’t told about this before I started cultivating the technique? This feels like something really important that should’ve been mentioned earlier!