Irric sat nervously on his hoverbike in the hull of the ship. The journey had taken three weeks and he was finally at the research facility. Strapped to his back was a large, sand-coloured backpack containing the equipment he would need to perform his job. He’d never imagined that his first field mission would be for something so important.
Nadi stood beside the hoverbike next to him, waiting for the go signal from the ship’s captain. The ship was being delicately positioned so that the hull door would be as close to the breach in the mountainside as possible, minimizing the risk of them falling off as they crossed the gap into the research facility. Maneuvering such a large vehicle, however, was difficult and required time to properly position. Nadi didn’t care how long it took; her job was to escort Irric around the facility.
Her comms were pinged, informing her that it was time to go. “Alright, it’s time,” she announced. She put on her helmet and saw Irric do the same. After ensuring that they could communicate without issue, Nadi gave Irric his instructions. “When the hull doors open, we’re going to start up our bikes and cross over into the facility. Nothing too hard, just try not to fall.”
“Fall?” Irric swallowed. “What happens if we fall?” His grip on the handlebars tightened as he envisioned himself plummeting through the air. A list of everything that could go wrong formed in his head, growing with each passing second.
“Then you go splat. Nothing much I can do about it.” Nadi didn’t mince her words, doing nothing to reassure Irric that all would be well. She had no patience for rookies, being used to operating with a highly skilled team. If Irric died, it would be his fault, not hers. There was only so much she could do. “You do remember how to use that thing, right?”
“I do. It’s pretty hard to forget after Basic. They drilled us pretty hard. I might be a little rusty, but I should be able to fly this no problem.” He patted the hoverbike, unsure which of them he was trying to reassure.
“Fine, then.” Nadi gave the all-clear to the bridge and watched the door open before her. She mounted her bike. The ramp that the door became hung in the air, useless in their current circumstances. Nadi started up her vehicle, feeling it hum to life as she rose off the ground, hanging motionless in place. Irric followed suit, seamlessly rising off of the ground.
Inside the ship, they were protected from the strong winds that raged outside. The most dangerous part of their short trip would be once they left the ship, exposing themselves to the buffeting winds beyond. Nadi fearlessly shot forward, focusing on the destination that was just ahead. Irric raced after her and was almost knocked off of his bike by the violent crosswinds.
He fought hard against the elements as he veered off course. Correcting himself before he ran into the mountainside, he breathed a sigh of relief once past the threshold, no longer subject to nature’s whims. Slowing down, he took his first good look around.
The floor around each ship was littered with parts, teams of engineers working tirelessly to dismantle them in the hopes of learning their secrets. One of the smaller ones was completely gutted, the chassis visible as a crew crowded around its engine, deep into their work.
Nadi instructed him on where to park his aircraft. After gently landing on the ground, Irric turned off the bike and dismounted. Nadi brought him deeper in the compound, explaining how the badges functioned as keys to their strange doors. Irric tried not to gawk as he took in the alien architecture. Soldiers were stationed at strategic checkpoints, on guard against any survivors.
“So far, we’ve mostly encountered dead bodies,” Nadi explained. “The badges we’re using right now were looted from their corpses. Here,” she said, fishing around in her pocket. “Use this to enter rooms. It’s one of the few keys we have that grant access to the restricted section.” She handed Irric a badge and continued walking. Irric inspected it as he followed. “Simply approach the wall where a door outline is, and it will open for you automatically. Provided you have a badge, of course.”
Absorbed in taking in every detail of his surroundings, Irric soon became lost and was thankful that he had Nadi to guide him around. She brought him to a large room that contained an empty pod in the centre. Deep blue, glowing lines decorated the gunmetal-grey walls while concentric circles lined the floor. A myriad of tubes ran from the pod into a large, alien machine that stood tall in the ominous room. Irric stood transfixed as he studied the red bubbling liquid that sat in the smaller pods jutting out of the machine.
“What is this?” he asked, bewitched.
“We’re not entirely sure,” Nadi explained. “There’s a lot in this facility that’s a mystery to us. This fella here is just one among many. Since we don’t know what it does, we’ve been hesitant to touch it.” She motioned for him to follow and brought him to a large circular hole in the wall, guarded by two soldiers. They made them stop and checked their security clearance. “Almost forgot,” she said, handing Irric a lanyard with a special card attached to it. “This is for you. It will let you get into the restricted section when the soldiers check your clearance, so don’t lose it.”
Irric took the item and removed his backpack, which was promptly searched. The guards questioned him about the contents, forcing him to explain the purpose and use of each item inside, much to his annoyance. “Are they always that thorough?” he asked, once they were on the other side.
“Pretty much. Nothing enters this part of the facility without being verified. The Commander still hasn’t told me yet what’s so important that warrants such security,” she tsked. She looked at Irric hopefully while he maintained a studiously neutral expression, giving nothing away. Nadi clicked her tongue when she realized she wasn’t going to get any hints.
The pair wandered through the corridors until they reached the command room. The wall gave way and they entered inside. Irric was greeted to the sight of broken data terminals. Almost all of them smashed in.
“What happened here?”
“Don’t know. It was like that when I first came here.” Nadi directed Irric to the few untouched terminals. “Your job is to see what you can find on these ones. With so many terminals in one place, we figure that whatever’s kept here must be important.”
Irric set his bag down and opened it up. He began withdrawing wires and other equipment, along with a data slate. Searching the data terminal for a port, he frowned when he didn’t find any. “How am I supposed to connect to this if there are no ports?”
“That’s your job, not mine. Figure it out. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Irric swore and Nadi grinned. “Music to my ears,” she sang. “Glad somebody else has to deal with this mess and not me. Anyways, I’ll leave you to it. I’ve marked your sleeping quarters on your map, so try not to get lost.”
“Wait, you mean I’m sleeping here in the facility?” Irric asked. Nadi nodded. “What if there are any gru’ul still in here?”
“Don’t worry, there aren’t,” Nadi said.
“But—”
“There aren’t,” she said firmly.
Irric begrudgingly accepted her answer and turned back to his work, hearing her leave. He took one more look over the systems. The strange keyboards were full of symbols that he didn’t recognize. He tried typing on one. Nothing happened. “Well, shit,” he said.
It was going to be a long day.
----------------------------------------
Reya jolted awake, heaving as she struggled to get her bearings. She lay in a twisted heap of limbs and covers, a sheen of sweat coating her body. She searched around in the dark and spotted the clock on her bedside table, noting that it was past three in the morning. She closed her eyes for a moment and willed herself to calm down, trying to still her rapidly beating heart.
Her breathing remained shaky as she reached and fumbled around on her nightstand for the only thing she knew would help. Clutching the pill bottle, she brought it to her chest and turned on her lamp.
Wincing as the bright light stung her eyes, her damp hands worked to pop off the cap. She dumped the lone pill that remained into her hand.
“Fuck,” she swore. Reya knew that if she took it now, she would have none left for when she really needed it. Grappled with indecision, she put it back where it belonged inside the container.
Rubbing a hand over her face, she swung her legs over the bed and sat up, keeping the position for several moments before forcing her tired body to move. Her throat was bone dry and she needed a drink. Knowing that there would be no chance of her sleeping anytime soon, she stood up and left her room.
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She left the light on but closed her door so as not to bother the others. To her surprise, a dim, orange glow emanated from the kitchen. She rounded the corner half-expecting to see Adrian again but found Jyn instead, standing in uniform as he had been earlier that evening. She idly noted that he was still armed.
Jyn looked up from his data slate, surprised at her presence. “Reya,” he said in a low voice. “What are you doing up at this hour?”
She flashed him a wan smile. “I could ask you the same.” She walked towards him and made her way to the cabinets. Taking out a glass, she turned towards the sink and filled it with water. She took long, hungry gulps. Draining the glass, she sighed in relief and filled it back up for more.
“I was doing late night patrols. Somebody has to do them.”
Reya frowned as she sipped on her water, still thirsty. “Are they really necessary? Who’s going to find us all the way out here?”
“You never know when we’ll be found and whether or not they’re hostile. It’s best to be prepared at all times,” he stated matter-of-factly. He briefly turned his attention back to his data slate before shutting it off and placing it on the counter.
“Won’t the ship be able to warn us if intruders come?”
“You can never be too sure. I’d rather see it coming with my own eyes than rely on a hunk of metal and hope nothing goes wrong.”
Reya didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t fault his logic, but still found his adherence to his patrols borderline obsessive. Deciding to change the topic, she asked instead, “Did something happen between you and Adrian that I’m not aware of?”
Jyn looked at her in surprise. “Why are you asking?”
“Because you pulled a gun on him. Something must have happened for you to overreact that badly.”
“Nothing happened. I didn’t overreact,” he said defensively. “Why does everybody keep saying that?”
“Because you did. You threatened to shoot him, Jyn. That’s not ‘nothing.’ What happened?”
“Nothing,” Jyn insisted. “Why are you defending him?”
“I’m not defending him. I’m trying to figure out why you acted that way. You’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t like Adrian, but that was over the top, even for you.”
“He was unsupervised, Reya. That’s not supposed to happen. Our orders are literally to keep an eye on him. We can’t just have him disappearing for hours at a time.”
“He was right outside. It wasn’t that bad.”
“Nobody knew he was there! He could have been anywhere, for all we know. What if he ran away? What would we do then?”
“Admit that you just don’t like him,” Reya said, irritated at Jyn’s excuses. The man looked torn, debating whether to answer the question truthfully or not. “He’s a perfectly fine person. Why do you hate him so much?”
“He’s a freak Reya, can’t you see? Just look at him! He’s tan instead of a proper purple and full of those ugly scars. Who knows what they did to him in there, if they’re any indication,” Jyn finally admitted.
“So scars are ugly now?” Reya said coldly. “Are mine ugly too, Jyn?” She tried to hide the hurt his words caused, feeling self-conscious about her own. It wasn’t Adrian’s fault he was scarred, but to be told that Jyn thought so poorly of them made her wonder about her own as well.
“You know that’s not what I meant,” Jyn said quickly.
“No, but you still said it,” Reya replied. “You have a thing against scars? Because if I remember correctly, you’re the one who kept going off about how nobody cared. You even forced him to reveal himself when he clearly wasn’t ready. Do you have any idea how hard that was for him?” Jyn looked away, mumbling under his breath. “What was that?”
“I said that was before I saw them,” Jyn said so that Reya could hear. “Even you have to admit, they’re hideous.”
“His scars are beautiful. He’s no less for them,” Reya said staunchly, remembering the tears Adrian shed in her arms earlier that day. She would only ever see the strength it took to endure them and reveal them to the others. “Is that why you acted like that? Because of his scars?”
“It’s not just the scars. You guys have been affording him too many liberties lately. He needs to be reminded of his place.”
“He exists, Jyn! He’s right there, right in front of you. Yet you treat him like he’s lesser than us. You know that’s not case. He’s a person, not a thing.”
“He’s dangerous! Don’t you see that? We can’t trust him not to hurt anybody or sabotage our equipment. He’s a stranger, Reya. A complete unknown. Why am I the only one who sees that?”
“It’s not that we don’t see it, Jyn. It’s that we’re giving him a chance to prove he’s not.”
“And what about when he snaps? By then it will be too late.”
“If you keep treating him the way you are then of course he’s going to snap! You’re trying to deny him basic rights. You didn’t want him to bathe,” she listed, counting with her fingers, “you didn’t want him to eat when he was hungry – gods, you didn’t even want to feed him at first! You didn’t want him to wear proper clothes and you still want him to remain locked up in his room, confined and held captive yet again. We’re already doing that to him. We brought him into the bloody mountains in the middle of nowhere on a foreign planet, for fuck’s sake! Look around, Jyn. There’s nowhere he can go! He’s dependent on us for survival. But to you he’s just a dangerous animal, isn’t he? And that’s all he’ll ever be.”
“If he’d cooperate then we wouldn’t need to keep him here. It’s for his own good.”
“Cooperate? You’re asking a most likely severely traumatized person to open up to a completely foreign military that’s literally held him at gunpoint and just give you all the answers you’re looking for? What if he doesn’t have those answers, Jyn?”
“Why can’t he tell us the ones he has, then? You did when you came back.”
“And reliving it almost broke me! Do you have any idea how hard that was? I was an even bigger wreck by the time I was done. I was ordered to directly by the General, Jyn. I had no choice but to obey or face the consequences. You think what I went through was bad? We can’t even begin to imagine the horrors that must have been inflicted upon Adrian.”
“Well, you ended up just fine. Why does he get a pass?”
“Fine!? You think I’m fine? I’m nowhere near fine!” Reya practically shouted.
“It doesn’t change the fact that it’s in everybody’s best interest if he talks.”
“Why are you so insistent on treating him like shit, Jyn? You treat me like glass but trample all over Adrian when you have the chance.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Oh, so for you it’s ok if things aren’t simple, excusing the way you act, but it’s not ok for Adrian? You goddamn hypocrite. Why do I get special treatment? Why don’t you even try to understand him?”
“Because I care about you and don’t give two flying shits about him,” Jyn said. “How could anybody love that broken freak?”
Reya stilled and went silent. “Is that what this is about? You think I love him? I’ve only known the man for three weeks! By the gods, how did you get that idea?”
“All you do is spend time with him. All you do is talk about him. I’ve barely spoken to you since you came back.”
“Because you’ve been avoiding me! I’ve tried talking to you and you run away. I’ve tried looking for you but you’re nowhere to be found. And I talk with Adrian because I want to. Who are you to say who I can and can’t spend time with? It’s none of your business.”
Their heated voices woke Rann up, who left her room to investigate. She noticed the faint light coming from the staircase and made her way towards it. She jumped with fright when she saw another figure standing halfway down the steps. Adrian turned to face her, his face barely visible in the low light emanating from the kitchen.
“I didn’t realize I was such a point of contention,” Adrian said quietly as Rann approached. He brushed away the tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused. It wasn’t my intention to cause a rift between your friends.”
Rann looked at Adrian, not sure what to make of his apology. Jyn and Reya’s voices carried up the steps, their argument turning more heated. She searched his hollow expression as he stared at her with a faraway look in his eyes and saw the regret and self-loathing that filled them.
“I was going to try to mediate, but I don’t think it would be a good idea if I get involved,” he said sadly, turning head back towards the source of his worries. He listened in for a moment as Reya snapped at Jyn, causing another hurtful reply to be sent her way. “I think it’s for the best if I just go back to my room and stay there.” He made his way back up the steps, avoiding the one that creaked and moved past Rann. His eyes glistened as he walked by.
Rann watched from the top of the steps as he made his way back to his room and ever so gently closed the door. Once he was gone, she turned her attention back to the argument, taking several steps down to better hear what was being said.
“You’ve been all wrong ever since you came back,” Jyn threw at Reya. “Why can’t things go back to the way they were, before you were damaged?”
Rann’s eyes widened from where she stood.
Reya flinched. “You think I don’t know that I’m damaged?” she said quietly as tears stung her eyes. “I’ve tried so hard, but that’s not good enough for you, is it?”
“You clearly haven’t tried hard enough.”
“You know nothing,” Reya retorted venomously. “Nothing about what happened to me in there or about what I’m going through now. You haven’t even tried. Things will never go back to the way they were. Accept it and move on.”
“Then what now? What about us?”
“There never was an ‘us,’ Jyn. There never will be, so get over yourself. You’re burning that bridge as we speak.”
“Am I just supposed to pretend that there wasn’t anything between us before all of this happened?”
“There might have been, but that was then. Now, I’m just damaged goods that we both know you’re unable to love.” Jyn looked like he was about to speak, but Reya cut him off. “Things have changed. We can only move forward, not stay stuck in the past.”
“If that’s the case, then why are you still so hung up on what happened to you?” Jyn spat.
“Because the past refuses to let me go,” Reya said sadly. “No matter how fast I run, it’s never enough. I’m trying to change, Jyn. Trying to get better. That’s more than you’re doing.”
“You can’t stay addicted to your sleeping pills forever. That’s not what getting better means,” Jyn replied, catching her off-guard. “Sooner or later you’ll need to come off of them.”
Reya’s eyes went wide. “How do you know that I’m on sleeping pills? Only Kell should know.” Jyn looked away, guilty. “How do you know, Jyn?” she demanded, her anger mounting.
“I saw them on your bedside table,” he said.
“You went into my room?”
“I was looking for you, but you weren’t there and I opened the door to make sure. You left them out in the open. It’s not like they were hidden away.”
“That doesn’t mean you had to pick up the bottle and read it!” Tears stung at her eyes. She hadn’t wanted anybody to know that she relied on medication. “You wanted to know if there would be an ‘us’? Well, now there won’t ever be.” Reya turned around and fled back to her room, tears threatening to spill over. She missed Rann’s silhouette in the stairwell as she stormed by.
Closing the door behind her, she sat on her bed, beads of frustration rolling down her cheeks. Using her sleeve, she dabbed them dry. She reached over to her nightstand and picked back up her medication. She stared at the bottle in her hands, conflicted, and set it back down on her nightstand.
Empty.