The fire died down until there were only a few stubborn flames left clinging to the coals. Bright embers glowed hot, providing heat for those brave enough to remain close. After a night of merriment, the others drunkenly stumbled back to their rooms, leaving behind the cooler.

Adrian and Reya remained, neither of them quite ready to head back inside. They sat in companionable silence as they absorbed the warmth of the dying flames. Adrian got up from his chair and added a log to the fire, stoking it for the flames to catch.

One log wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep the fire going. He pulled his chair up close, having been too far away to escape the night’s chill. Feeling left out, Reya got up off of her chair and went to sit next to Adrian in Beor’s empty spot. Like him, she drew up close to the flames. She wrapped herself up in a warm blanket and settled into her new seat, cozy as could be.

Eyeing the red cooler between them, Reya opened the lid and dug around inside. She hissed in displeasure as her hand made contact with the frigid ice water, but she persisted in her search. Adrian watched with interest as she triumphantly pulled out a large, green tinted bottle that appeared to be full.

“The hard stuff,” Reya explained when she noticed Adrian staring. “Way better than that beer we were drinking. Beor usually has a bottle on him when we do this kind of thing.” Adrian nodded in acknowledgment, curious about the new drink. “I noticed you’ve had a lot to drink tonight,” she remarked. “Are you not feeling the alcohol after all of that?”

“No, not particularly,” Adrian shook his head. “If these are as strong as the labels say they are, then I should definitely be feeling it more than I have.” He sounded disappointed at the fact to Reya. The condensation on the bottle glinted in the firelight as she dried it off on her blanket. She unscrewed the cap and took a swig, only to start coughing immediately after she swallowed, feeling the intense burn of the liquor as it settled in her stomach.

“I forgot how strong that stuff is,” she grimaced. Reya’s cheeks warmed and she went back for another sip, smaller this time. It went down smoothly, and she avoided another coughing fit. A new warmth spread through her body and her face turned numb as she held onto the bottle for several long minutes. Belatedly realizing she still held the bottle in her hands, she offered it to Adrian for him to try.

He carefully took the proffered bottle. Tears welled up in his eyes as the strong scent of ethanol stung his nose. “Certainly smells strong,” he commented, blinking wildly. Reya giggled at his reaction, anticipating the moment he’d actually taste it.

“Wait until you try it,” she said knowingly. She watched with rapt attention as Adrian took his first sip. Not wanting to be caught off-guard like Reya, he let in a small, measured amount of the liquor into his mouth. His tongue numbed and swelled slightly. Tiny cuts on the roof of his mouth that he hadn’t been aware of made themselves known as they burned in quiet agony when the alcohol made contact with them.

What felt like liquid fire trailed down his throat and settled deep within him. He flushed and couldn’t help but cough. “Good lord, what’s in this?” Reya’s earlier chuckle turned into full-blown laughter, her peals chiming like the tinkering of bells across the clearing.

“Told you it was strong,” Reya grinned. Adrian went back for another sip followed by a few larger swigs, in hopes of finally feeling drunk. “Whoa there, be careful,” she said, concerned by how quickly Adrian was chugging from the bottle. He passed it back to her and felt his head spin slightly. He tapped his slightly numbed cheeks and flashed Reya a smile.

“That should do it,” he said.

“I sure hope so, after what you just drank.” She eyed the bottle. It was noticeably emptier than when she’d last held it but there was no fear of running out anytime soon. She took a few more sips and joined Adrian in his drunken stupor, delighting in the feeling. “If only I could feel this way all the time.” She sighed as she felt the alcohol work its magic.

“I know. Almost enough to make you forget, isn’t it?” The accuracy of his statement startled Reya. She was sure he hadn’t meant for it to hit so close to home, but she couldn’t deny his words. Their truth made her uncomfortable.

“Almost,” she said morosely. “But not quite enough.” She stared into the bottom of the bottle as select memories made their way through the haze of the alcohol. While he wasn’t expecting her to elaborate, Adrian could tell that his comment had struck a chord.

“You’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you?” he asked. Reya raised her head and gave a slight nod. He understood. The intrusive thoughts never fully left him alone either. He didn’t know if it was the mood or if it was the alcohol, but he asked anyway. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Reya curled up in her chair, silent. Adrian grimaced when she didn’t respond to his question. He’d overstepped his bounds. There’s no way she would actually answer that kind of personal question, he thought.

To his surprise, she did.

“We were on a mission,” she said in a low voice, her grip tightening around the bottle. She took a sip before continuing. “We were investigating the facility. I got captured,” she said tersely. She took another sip. “They killed my communication equipment, so my team thought I was dead.” She took pause, debating if she really wanted to talk about what happened next.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Adrian said gently, understanding that the topic was difficult for her. He knew about her scars but didn’t want her to feel pressured into telling him. They ran deeper than just her skin.

Reya shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s just hard to talk about. Nobody really understands; you know? Maybe you might, though, which is more than most.” She took another sip. “They cuffed me to a table and locked me in a room,” her voice hitched. “They left me there to rot, only showing up to ask me questions.” She took another sip.

Adrian was beginning to get concerned at the amount that she was drinking, hoping she wouldn’t feel sick afterwards. “When I didn’t answer, they cut me and asked again. Then they brought out this—” her voice cracked, “horrible thing that they put in each cut. It hurt like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I swear it got worse each time. I screamed until my throat was raw. Until I couldn’t make a sound. I was injected with all sorts of things while bound to that table.”

Reya felt tears well up in her eyes and she began to cry into her blanket. “That wasn’t even the worst of it. Right before I got rescued, they injected me with something else. Something worse. It hurt so much,” she whispered. “So, so much,” she began to sob. “All I had to do was listen.” Adrian reached over and put a comforting hand on her arm as her body shook. He maintained his soothing touch until she calmed down, not saying a word. He didn’t know how long it took, but to him time didn’t matter. “How could something like that be allowed to exist?” she said through her tears.

“It shouldn’t,” he said in a sober tone. There was a heavy weight behind his eyes, a sense of understanding and empathy for her experience that Reya felt for the first time since escaping. She lost herself in his gaze for a moment.

“Was it purple?” Adrian asked with a quiet intensity. “What they used on you at the end, did you see if it was purple?” Taken aback by the suddenness of his question, Reya fumbled for an answer.

“No, it was orange. That much I remember.” She watched Adrian visibly deflate in relief, confused by his reaction. Her breath hitched. “Did they use it on you as well?” she asked, fearing for the answer. She genuinely hoped he hadn’t suffered that much as well.

Adrian shook his head. “What they used on me was purple. I’ve never felt anything like it before,” he shuddered, a distant expression on his face. “If yours was anything like mine,” he blinked, snapping back to the present, “then I’m so sorry you had to live through that. Nobody deserves to experience such cruelty.” Reya’s shoulders drooped after hearing that he too had gone through the same.

She stared into the firelight and spoke once more after taking another sip. “I wasn’t allowed to move from my spot for a whole month. They starved me and fed me that gods awful bread. They gave me just enough water to survive. I’ll have to bear the scars from what they did forever. I hate them. I hate how they remind me about what happened – how I was so weak. I hate how ugly they look. I hate knowing that I’m stuck with them.”

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“Your scars don’t make you any less beautiful, Reya,” Adrian said softly, but firmly. “They’re a testament to your strength, not your weakness.”

Reya let out a broken laugh with a matching expression. “How could anybody find me beautiful? You haven’t even seen them. How could you say that?” Her hollow gaze met Adrian’s, her bitterness displayed openly.

“Beauty is more than skin deep,” he replied with conviction. “I might not have seen them, but I know that you’re beautiful all the same.” He didn’t ask her to show him. He could never do that, not when he understood her fears about being seen.

“What happens when the others see? What happens when they find out?” she asked fearfully. “How are things going to change?”

“I don’t know,” Adrian said honestly. “It’s been on my mind too, especially after today. I’m already so different from you all. What do you think will happen once everybody sees my scars? You all know I was a test subject, but none of you really know what that means. You will when you see my scars.”

“Nothing’s going to change when we see your scars. We already saw them.”

“No, Reya, you haven’t. I don’t want you to see because then you’ll know how much of a freak I’ve become. The scars don’t even tell half the story.” Adrian closed in on himself.

“You’ve just told me that my scars don’t matter. Neither do yours.” This time it was Reya’s turn to place a hand on Adrian’s arm, comforting him much the same way he’d done for her. The tenderness of her touch was more than Adrian had received in a long time. Something inside Adrian broke.

“They violated me, Reya,” Adrian said with a heavy voice, looking at her, his eyes thick with tears. “They violated me in ways you can’t even begin to imagine. There’s a reason I don’t talk about it. Because then I’d really become the alien you try not to see me as. The worst is that they’re not the first ones to do so.” His tears spilled freely down his cheeks.

Reya stood up and moved the cooler out of the way. She placed her chair right against Adrian’s and opened her blanket, sharing it with him. “I’d never think any less of you for your scars either, Adrian.” She collected him in an awkward, sideways hug, holding him until he was ready to speak again. Adrian leaned into her, grateful for the only support he’d had since his ordeal began. “Is that why you freaked out at the lake?”

“Not exactly,” Adrian went very still as his desire to keep his past a secret warred with his desire to be heard. Reya didn’t press the issue, letting him come to his own decision about whether or not he wanted to talk. “It’s because the lake was blue,” he said finally, prompting confusion from Reya.

“That’s what caused you to panic?” she asked, not understanding. “Not your scars being shown?”

“Both caused me to panic, but for different reasons.”

“What about the colour blue made you freak out?”

“It’s not the colour itself. It’s when I fell in and was surrounded by it.” Adrian nestled into Reya, finding a more comfortable position, causing her to shift as well. “The gru’ul weren’t the only ones to experiment on me,” he admitted. “I was originally kidnapped by my own kind.” Reya’s mind blanked as she processed the revelation. “I was one of two that survived. My reward? They forced me into a pod. Made me walk willingly into it and wait. Then the doors snapped shut, trapping me inside.”

Reya tightened her hug, waiting to hear what happened next. For several seconds, Adrian didn’t speak, reliving the moment in his mind. “They flooded the chamber with a blue liquid that thickened. I was forced to watch it rise until it reached my neck. When it reached my face, I took one last breath before being submerged. Everything turned blue. I held it until my lungs burned and I couldn’t any longer. I choked, gasping for air but only found the blue liquid instead.”

A violent tremor passed through Adrian. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Reya said, comforting him. He shook his head, determined to see it through.

“It filled my lungs and my vision began to fade. As everything went black, I thought to myself ‘this is finally it.’ And then I was trapped. Alive, but not. The next thing I knew I was waking up alone in their facility, dazed and confused.”

“And when you fell in, you thought you were back in that pod,” Reya realized. Adrian nodded. “What happened next?”

“I woke up alone in a room with only one way out,” Adrian started. “It was either stay in the room that had nothing for me or explore. I should’ve stayed in the room,” he said bitterly. He continued to recount his first moments after waking up in the gru’ul facility, pausing just after they’d trapped him in his cell. “All that was in my cell was a loaf of purple bread. I starved myself until I had no choice but to eat it. I had to eat it over and over again. That was only the beginning. The easy part.”

Adrian fell silent again and Reya sensed that he was done talking about the subject for now. She decided to change the topic to something lighter. “You know, I just realized that I don’t know much about you. None of us knew that you studied music until today or that you could sing.”

“To you guys, I’m just a job. Something to secure, contain and protect. Why bother trying to get to know me? I can tell I’m not exactly well liked or welcome.”

Reya was taken aback at Adrian’s thoughts on them. “You’re a person, not a job. What makes you think that?”

“I’m not blind. I’ve seen the way people look at me. The fear, disgust,” Adrian said. “Loathing and uncertainty. They hide it well, but not well enough. I’m mostly ignored by everyone but you. The others make no effort to talk to me except to try and extract information from me. Whenever I do try to participate in conversations, I’m ignored. Don’t even get me started on Jyn.”

Reya winced. “I don’t think Jyn is the best example to represent the others.” Jyn had been particularly unpleasant over the course of their stay. He felt so different at times from the person she once knew.

“He’s the one holding the gun, Reya. If he had it his way, I’d be confined to my room and most likely tortured for information.”

“He wouldn’t do that!”

“I’ve literally heard him say they should do that. What happens when he’s finally had enough? Or when your military decides to crack me open and learn my secrets? One wrong move and I’ll go right back to where I was. Back into a cell and onto an operating table. Again. I can’t. I can’t go back to that.” He clutched at the blanket and Reya felt him tremble in her arms.

Adrian’s fearful expression told Reya everything she needed to know. She hadn’t realized they’d been placing so much stress on him. His fears were well founded, and she couldn’t bring herself to make false claims that nothing bad would ever happen.

“They’re afraid because they know nothing about you,” Reya said finally. “You can always change that, you know. By telling us a bit more about yourself. Tell me a bit about your family. We can start there, if you’re willing.”

Now that the others were gone and it was just the two of them, Adrian’s reservations about speaking about himself slowly disappeared. He felt far more comfortable around Reya than he did the others. Her lack of ulterior motives played a large part in removing his inhibition. That and the alcohol.

After her candor about her experiences, he couldn’t bring himself not to answer her questions. They were harmless and didn’t touch on the topics Adrian wanted to avoid. Although the topic of his family was a difficult one, he decided to speak about them anyway.

“My parents,” he started, rubbing a hand over his face, “died when I was eleven.” His comment elicited a sharp gasp from Reya. She remained silent, waiting for him to continue. “My sister, Annie, was quite a bit older than me, so she took care of us. She dropped out of school and worked full time at the shop to make ends meet. I helped out whenever I could to ease the burden.”

“Before any of this happened, I was organizing a show at my school. I invited Annie and her family to come and watch. I had the cutest little niece. Her name was Evelynn.” He paused, choking the next words out in a broken voice. “They never made it. They were in an accident on the way to the show. Annie and her husband, Matt, died instantly. A drunk driver, they said. Evelynn was transported to the closest hospital, where I watched her die from her injuries.” Tears filled Adrian’s eyes, threatening to spill over. “I was in the middle of organizing their funeral when I got kidnapped. Now everybody probably thinks I’m dead too.”

Reya was at a complete loss for as to what to say. She never expected such tragedy when she harmlessly inquired about his family. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said, giving her sympathies. “That’s what you meant, when you sang that last song. When you said your sister wouldn’t care either way. It’s because she’s dead.”

Adrian gave a shallow nod in response. “I, uh,” he cleared his throat, “actually wrote that song for Annie when I was younger.”

“I found the song beautiful,” Reya admitted. “I could feel your love for her.”

“What about your family?” Adrian asked, hoping to shift the conversation away from his.

“My folks split when I was growing up. I spent my time bouncing back and forth between them. They both tried their best to give me a good childhood, but I couldn’t handle the constant fighting. The late-night screaming matches over the phone. The court proceedings for custody. The whole situation got really nasty towards the end. I ran away to join the military, where I’ve been ever since.”

“That must have been hard. Have you had any contact with them since you left?”

“Not really. I gave them each a phone call to tell them where I was going. My mother didn’t pick up, so I left a message. I don’t think they even cared. They were probably glad the thorn in their side was finally gone.”

Adrian sat up, extricating himself from Reya’s arms. He placed a hand on her knee, but neither one of them noticed. “There’s no way that’s the case. I’m sure they still think about you. Losing a child must have been hard. They must regret that how they acted drove you away.”

Reya sniffed. “You really think so?”

“You’d have to talk to them again to find out.” Adrian reached over and plucked the bottle from Reya’s lap, where it had been sitting for the last little while, forgotten. He unscrewed the lid and took a long drink. Reya took the bottle from him when he was done and mirrored his actions.

The two of them continued to talk about benign things. Adrian spoke more about his music, to Reya’s delight. She was glad to see some semblance of life return to his eyes as he prattled on about the instruments he used to play.

Reya shared what her life in the military had been like. How she’d met Rann and Tassie during Basic and how they’d been paired together when their squad had been formed. She explained her position as a sniper and what it entailed. She spoke fondly about the little moments shared between her squad mates.

Neither one of them spoke again about their time spent at the facility. They were content with simply getting to know each other. It was the most Adrian had spoken since being released and it felt good to have someone to talk to after spending so much time alone.

Their conversation continued long into the night, neither one of them intending to try to sleep anytime soon. They both knew how that would end.