Rann and Tassie watched Adrian and Reya retreat into the water away from prying eyes. Reya was holding onto Adrian’s hand again as they ventured deeper into the lake, the water rising to cover their scars. It was obvious that they were uncomfortable under everyone’s scrutinizing stares.
The girls sat numbly next to each other in their chairs while the boys kicked a ball around on the beach. “I can’t believe it,” Rann said in shock. “I remember kind of seeing them when I first found her, but it was hard to make out in the light. And she was covered in so much blood.”
Tassie remained silent, lost in thought. She stared at Reya’s form, the moment she revealed her scars replaying in her mind.
“Tassie?” Rann asked. The woman jolted at the sound of her name, looking over towards Rann.
“We left her there, alone,” Tassie said quietly, “while they did that to her. Does that make us awful people?”
“No, it makes the gru’ul awful. We had no way of knowing that she was alive. We made the right call with the information we had.”
“I know that but seeing isn’t the same as believing. Look at her. Look at what they did. Can you imagine what that must have been like, going through that while not knowing if you’re going to live?”
Rann recalled how Reya had acted when they rescued her. Tassie remembered the shell of a person her friend had been in the hospital. They looked at the woman swimming carefree in the water, hovering around her new person of interest.
“There’s no way she’s fine. Gods,” Rann said, running her hand across her face, “I feel so bad for going off on her like that before. Not when I know now what she was trying to hide.”
“You didn’t know,” Tassie said softly. “None of us did, except maybe Adrian. They probably knew about each other’s scars.” Tassie understood now why Adrian had chased after Reya earlier and begrudgingly admitted to herself that he’d been the right person for the job.
“Why did she tell him instead of us?” Rann asked, the hurt evident in her voice. “Why couldn’t she trust us with her secret instead of a stranger?”
“Because they understand each other in a way that we never will, Rann. Their pain is something we’ll never relate to, short of being tortured ourselves. That’s not a club they want us to join. They know best the horrors they faced.” Beor kicked the ball too hard, and it rolled across the sand, stopping in front of Tassie. She took a moment to stand up and kick it back towards them before continuing. “Did you see Adrian’s scars? They were intense. It probably took a lot of courage for both of them to show themselves to us.”
Rann shuddered at the thought. She hadn’t expected to see something worse after Reya and felt bad about how they’d forced him to reveal himself. She curled up in her chair. “I wonder what changed to make them want to show us.” She watched Adrian tow Reya along in the water, faint giggles reaching her ears. “I don’t think I’ve seen her laugh since we rescued her,” Rann pointed out.
“Say what you will about him; he’s been good to Reya,” Tassie said, watching the scene play out. A faint shout caught her attention and she turned her head in time to see Jyn miss the ball that was going his way, too focused on watching the idyllic scene of Reya and Adrian playing in the water. “Something probably happened between them because there’s no way that decision was made as lightly as they wanted it to seem. Just look at how Adrian almost had a panic attack when Jyn called him out.”
“That was not ok of him to do,” Rann replied. “I wonder what it was that changed.”
Tassie shrugged. “Why not just ask? I’m sure Reya would tell you.”
“Would she, though?”
“There’s only one way to find out.” Tassie checked her phone for the time. “We should probably head inside if we want to prepare dinner in time for everybody.” Both girls had agreed to help ease Reya’s burden a little bit by cooking dinner. They didn’t want her to force herself to work for their sakes. She could use the break.
Tassie and Rann packed up their belongings and made their way into the house. They spotted the sand trail on the floor but decided that cooking took priority. It wouldn’t take very long to clean, and they could do it once the food was prepped.
They debated what dish to make and settled for stir-fry, Reya’s favourite. Rann went to the ship to fetch the missing ingredients while Tassie began chopping up the vegetables they had on hand. Rann returned and lent a helping hand, the two of them working in tandem to prepare the large helping of food required to serve so many people and Adrian.
“He really does eat a lot,” Tassie commented. She sorted the vegetables into separate bowls, getting them ready for frying. Placing them on the counter next to the stove, she opened the fridge to get the meat out. “He eats for two, sometimes three people. We’re running through our supplies faster than expected because of it.” She eyed the small pack in her hands and withdrew another one from the fridge.
Rann whisked the sauce together in a large mixing bowl. “I wonder if it has to do with the experiments they did on him or if he just naturally eats that much.” The bowl joined the vegetables next to the stove when she was done.
“It doesn’t matter how much that freak eats,” Jyn said, appearing out of nowhere. His sudden arrival startled the girls. “What matters is that we’re starting to run low on food because of him. We’ll have to make a supply run soon.”
“Jyn, you can’t just call people freaks. What if he heard?” Tassie admonished. She looked around the room for Adrian, hoping that he wasn’t nearby. Relief flooded her when she saw that he wasn’t. She shot Jyn an unimpressed stare.
“So what? He knows what he is. What difference does it make if he hears it from me?” Jyn defended his commentary.
“It does matter! Imagine how he would feel if he heard that after showing us his scars. Why’d you have to force him to take off his clothes, anyway?”
“I didn’t force him to do anything.”
“Yes, you did. You wouldn’t stop harping on the topic. You even upset Reya earlier.”
“How was I supposed to know the topic was that sensitive?”
“She clearly had something she wanted to hide.”
“It’s not my fault Reya has scars,” he said coldly, levelling a flat stare at Tassie. “I had no way of knowing how bad it was.”
“Are you saying that it’s my fault?” she shot back, her voice dropping. She waved the large knife she was holding in Jyn’s direction.
Jyn continued, unperturbed by her actions. “I’m not the one who forced us to leave. If we had stayed like I wanted, we would’ve found her before she got any scars to begin with.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. It took them a month to do that to her. Any less and she would have less scars. It’s as simple as that. If we’d stayed, we could’ve rescued her faster.”
“Jyn, that’s enough,” Rann barked. “What those bastards did is not Tassie’s fault. You can’t hold her accountable for their actions.”
“We could have saved her before any of this happened, but she didn’t listen.” He pointed an accusing finger towards Tassie. “All she had to do was follow orders like she’s supposed to, and everything would have turned out fine.”
Tassie’s face flushed red with shame as tears welled in her eyes. “You think I don’t know that? That if we had stayed none of this might have happened? Reya already forgave me. Why can’t you let the matter drop?”
“No amount of forgiveness will ever undo what was done to her,” Jyn said harshly. Voices coming from behind caused him to pause his tirade and look out the window. The others were almost back at the house. “I’ll be on the ship if you need me.” He stormed off through the front door, just as the others were about to open it.
Surprise crossed Beor’s features when the door opened right as he was placing his hand on the handle. He took one look at Jyn’s expression and moved out of the way. A smooth, emotionless mask settled in place by the time Jyn passed by, the others not seeing what Beor had.
The group parted to let Jyn pass. Beor entered to a teary-eyed Tassie who was wiping her eyes in haste before the others filed in. “Is everything alright?” he asked, concerned.
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“Everything’s fine, babe,” Rann said quickly. “Don’t worry about it.” She shot him a warning look, promising to tell him later. Beor nodded and let the matter drop.
“What’s for dinner?” he asked instead, tactfully changing the subject. He eyed the bowls on the counter but couldn’t figure out what recipe they were going to be used in.
“Stir-fry,” Tassie said as she arranged the last of the meat on a tray. Everything was ready to go; all that was left to do was actually cook the meal. She turned on the stove and placed a large wok on the element, waiting for it to heat up.
An excited squeal came from Reya. “Really?” she clapped. Her excitement at the thought of eating her favourite dish was palpable. Tassie and Rann were glad that they were able to do something for their friend. “I can help if you need,” she offered.
“It’s fine,” Rann said, turning her down. “Everything’s under control here.”
Adrian stepped off the welcome mat and felt his feet crunch on the sand he’d dragged in earlier. “I forgot about that,” he said as he inspected his foot, wiping off the sand. “I’ll get a broom and clean up the mess.” With Jyn gone, there was no worry about him getting in trouble for helping and handling a ‘weapon.’
“I’ll help,” Reya chirped as she scurried off to follow Adrian towards the storage closet.
“It’s fine, I can do it,” Rann offered quickly, cutting Reya off from following Adrian.
Reya frowned. “Part of the mess is my fault. The least I can do is clean it up.” Adrian returned with two brooms and handed one to Reya, who happily took it from him. Rann shot Adrian a displeased look when Reya began sweeping the floor, to which he cocked an eyebrow. He didn’t see what the big deal was and turned his attention towards his task.
With their scars on full display, the others couldn’t help but stare. Adrian noticed, the pinpricks from their gazes increasingly difficult to ignore. He shot a pleading glance at Reya, who also looked uncomfortable. Sweeping the last of the sand into her dustpan, Reya excused herself and went to change.
“I think I’ll go get changed too,” Adrian said. He stiffly stored the brooms back where he found them and bounded up the stairs like he couldn’t get away fast enough. Tassie, Rann and Beor exchanged glances.
“We were staring, weren’t we?” Beor said. “And they caught us.”
“I can’t help it,” Tassie said. “It’s like my eyes are drawn to them when they’re on display like that.” Rann nodded in agreement. “Still though, it’s hard to believe that we went so long without seeing.”
“They really wanted to keep it a secret, didn’t they?” Rann said. “We forced them to show us.”
“We didn’t exactly force them,” Beor pointed out.
“We pressured them, same difference. It was clear that it was a touchy subject since the last time we went swimming.”
“I thought we were doing a pretty good job at not bringing it up.”
“Guess it was all for nothing,” Tassie said, sighing. She continued cooking the meal, frying the vegetables so that they were crisp and juicy. Rann set the table in the meantime. When neither Adrian nor Reya emerged from their rooms, she grew worried.
“They should be out by now, right?” Rann fretted. Tassie turned off the element and started serving the plates while Rann set them on the table.
“I’m sure it’s fine. They’re probably just taking some time for themselves. They’ll come when we call them for dinner, which is just about ready. We’ll have a problem if they don’t come.”
----------------------------------------
Dinner was a tense affair that evening. The air between Tassie and Jyn was frigid, while a certain awkwardness stemmed from Adrian and Reya, who had chosen to cover their scars back up when getting changed. Rann had hoped that they would leave them on display now that they were out in the open and was saddened that they still felt the need to cover up.
Beor did the best he could to keep the conversation going, but even he had trouble fighting against the many emotional undercurrents that stirred in the background. Eimir and Kell remained oblivious to the charged air, content in carrying most of the conversation alongside Beor. Tassie pointedly avoided looking in Jyn’s direction while he levelled a displeased stare towards Adrian, who was sitting next to Reya.
Rann thanked her lucky stars when the meal finally drew to a close, no longer able to handle the social minefield that came with having everybody gathered together in one place. Adrian and Reya stood to clear the table as usual while the others dispersed, but Rann cut them off. “We can do it. You guys should take a break. You’ve done so much.” She glanced at Tassie and jerked her head towards the kitchen. Tassie took the hint and began clearing the table.
Adrian eyed the girls suspiciously as he studied their newfound love for doing chores. Reya was at a loss. “I can do it,” she said. “You cooked for us. Let me clean up.” She moved around the table to go load the dishwasher with the dishes Tassie was stacking on the counter.
“I want to clean. Go relax,” Rann insisted.
Reya narrowed her eyes. “But you hate cleaning.”
“I’m allowed to want to clean every once in a while,” Rann said defensively.
“You literally run away when I ask you to clean.”
“I said we’ll do it,” Rann said forcefully.
Reya looked between Rann and Tassie, then looked at the mess. “This doesn’t have anything to do with me showing you my scars does it? You’ve been acting odd since earlier.”
Rann flinched. “No, why would you say that?” she asked nervously. Her eyes flicked towards Reya’s arms where her scars were. She looked back at Tassie for help, but all she did was shake her head.
“It totally is, isn’t it? You’re treating me differently because you saw. I knew this would happen!” Reya said, her eyes flicking between her friends. She turned towards the front door and put her shoes back on.
“Reya, wait,” Rann called.
“Why, so you can treat me like I’m made of glass? No, thank you.” Reya slammed the door behind her, leaving Adrian behind in the kitchen, a silent witness to events that just occurred. Rann was distraught at upsetting Reya yet again before having had the chance to properly talk to her.
Adrian moved to help clean up. Picking up a sponge, he washed the pan under warm water. “She was afraid this would happen, you know,” he said to no one in particular.
Rann whirled to face Adrian. “What do you know about Reya?” she snapped.
Adrian raised an eyebrow at the aggression in her tone. “About her as a whole? Not all that much, but I’m learning. About her scars? A bit more.” He kept his tone even to avoid escalating the situation. “She was afraid that you would treat her differently once you found out about them.”
Rann flushed with guilt. “What do you expect us to do? We can’t just pretend we didn’t see them!”
“You wanted to know. Now you that you do, why’s it so hard to treat her like you did before she showed you? Nothing’s changed. She already had those scars.”
“It’s not that simple,” Rann refuted. “How can we ignore the fact that our friend got hurt? Or that she got horribly maimed?”
“By treating her like the person you know she is, not the fragile doll you see her as,” Adrian said gently. “You should probably go talk to her, unless you want things to get worse. She’s lucky to have somebody that cares about her so much. Take the time to work things out. We’ll finish up in here.”
Rann left the house in a hurry. She checked around the porch but didn’t see Reya. There weren’t any silhouettes along the lake’s shore that she could make out either. Panic began to set in as she searched frantically to find her friend in the dark. A noise coming from around the back caught her attention. Moving closer towards the shed, she saw that the door hung wide open.
Reya stood with a stack of logs in her arms, barely able to see in front of her. With unsteady steps, she stumbled towards the fire pit. “Reya,” Rann said as she ran towards her, “let me help.”
“I’m good,” Reya grunted. She unceremoniously dumped her load in front of pit, narrowly avoiding dropping the logs on her foot.
“Reya, that was dangerous! Why didn’t you let me help?”
“Because I can do things on my own.” Reya returned to the shed to get some kindling and a lighter. Rann watched in silence as her friend knelt down and started a small fire, unsure of what to say. The paper caught and the spark spread, eating away at the smaller sticks and branches before finally moving on to the logs. “You’ve been acting weird since you saw,” Reya said quietly, breaking the silence. “First the cooking, then the cleaning and now this. Not to mention what happened at the beach. What’s going on, Rann?”
Shadows danced across Rann’s face in the firelight, obscuring her strained expression. “It’s nothing,” she lied.
“We both know that’s not true. Why won’t you talk to me?”
“Because that’s exactly the problem!” Rann blurted out.
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s just . . . you don’t tell me anything anymore. I didn’t know about the extent of your scars until today. I didn’t know about how they bothered you. You hardly talk about your time in the facility. You haven’t told us anything. All you do is keep it bottled up and it kills me to see you hurting without being able to help.”
Reya stood up, her watery eyes glinting in the light. “What happened to me was horrible. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to talk about it.”
“But you told him,” Rann said quietly.
Understanding dawned on Reya. “Is this because I told Adrian instead of you?”
Rann had trouble meeting Reya’s gaze. “I overheard you speaking to him the night of the campfire. You told him things you never told us. Why weren’t we good enough? Why couldn’t you trust us?
Reya’s eyes widened. “How much did you hear?” she asked nervously. That conversation had been personal, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for the others to learn about those details yet.
“Not much. I heard enough to tell what it was about but not the details. Beor closed the window to give you some privacy before we could hear the rest.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Rann. It’s that I’m afraid. Afraid of how you’ll act once you know. I don’t want to lose you guys.”
“You know I’d never abandon you,” Rann said, shocked at the idea. “I wouldn’t change because I knew.”
“You already have! Look at what’s happened since you saw my scars. What would you do if you knew everything – the whole story? It was awful,” Reya choked. She clenched her arms together. “It hurt so much,” she whispered hoarsely, struggling to speak. “So much.” She shivered despite the heat emanating from the fire.
“But you told Adrian. Why? We were the ones that rescued you. We were the ones there for you in the hospital. We were the ones that took care of you. It feels like you’ve replaced us with him.”
“He gets it,” Reya explained, suppressing memory of her final injection. “He’s also suffered by their hands. I didn’t mean to choose him over you, Rann. It simply happened. It’s something we both relate to. I’d never replace you with him.”
“It’s hard not to feel that way when you won’t tell us anything,” Rann said, teary-eyed.
“I don’t know if I’m ready yet. It’s not a happy story and it only gets worse as it goes on. Telling it is like reliving it. What will you do once you know? Are you ready for that? Once you know, there’s no going back.”
Rann was conflicted. She wondered whether she was ready to bear the burden. A part of her wanted to remain blissfully ignorant and avoid knowing what their mistake had truly cost Reya. The rest of her needed to know, to understand the price Reya paid in blood.
Tassie chose that moment to join them at the fire pit. She hadn’t heard what was going on but sensed the heavy atmosphere. Reya repeated her question to her, asking if she was ready to hear. Tassie’s eyes widened and she looked at Rann. They nodded to each other, and then to Reya. “We’re ready,” Tassie said for both her and Rann. The trio took seat by the fire and waited patiently for Reya to speak. It took her a long time to get her thoughts in order.
“Before I knew it, I was surrounded,” Reya started.