Reya hugged her sweater close as the cool mountain air brought about a relentless chill. The sun was long gone, and she was outside on the porch, dressed far more warmly than she would have thought herself to be at that time of the year. While the days were beautiful and warm, the evenings up in the mountains were cold and unforgiving.
A shuffle behind her alerted her to the presence of another, startling her. Rubbing her hands together, she turned to look at the newcomer.
Rann settled in beside her on one of the many chairs on the wrap-around porch. “How are you holding up?”
“It’s a little bit colder outside than I expected. So much for a relaxing evening. Should’ve worn a thicker sweater.” Reya shivered at the breeze penetrating her clothing. She lamented not having her windbreaker with her. It was still hanging in her closet back at her apartment.
“No, not that. I meant all this,” Rann said, motioning grandly at nothing in particular.
Reya fidgeted where she sat, searching for her words. “To be honest, it’s a lot to take in. It’s been a bit of a hard week, if you know what I mean.”
“I get that. I probably shouldn’t have sprung Adrian on you like that,” Rann conceded. The entire team had been hesitant to interact with Adrian over the course of the past week. The only person who seemed to have no such qualms was Reya, but even she limited the amount of contact she had with him. As a result, Adrian found himself alone and isolated most of the time. It didn’t help that the others would regularly go on patrols, leaving him behind.
“It’s fine now, but a little bit of a warning would have been nice. He looked like something straight out of a horror movie. All he was missing was a knife.”
“He sure cleaned up well, didn’t he?”
“Yeah,” Reya said simply, focusing on the sky above. “It’s really pretty out here, where there’s no light pollution,” she said, keen to change the topic. “That’s one perk of being here, I guess.” She turned to look at Rann. “Is there something going on with Jyn? He’s been acting a little off all week.”
Rann hesitated, wondering how much she should tell Reya. “How so?” she asked instead. She wanted to know what Reya made of the situation before divulging any details. Rann was sure that her answer would be eye-opening. If she was lucky, the added perspective might even help her find a way to defuse the tension before things got further out of hand.
“I feel like he’s been avoiding me. He’s been obsessed with his patrols. I don’t think they’re necessary – anybody that comes out here would be detected by the ship first. Still, he insists on keeping a rigid schedule. He leaves for hours at a time to who knows where, and when I do see him, he turns and retreats back into the ship with some kind of excuse. Whatever few conversations we do have are just plain awkward.”
Rann nodded along, thinking about the situation Reya painted. “Beor’s been much the same lately. He’s been following Jyn’s lead on patrolling the perimeter. I haven’t seen much of him either. I personally think that being near you is the best way to protect you in case somebody actually does come, so I’ve been staying close by. Plus, Beor’s volunteering for the night shift now,” Rann complained. “Something about letting Eimir and Kell have a normal schedule. As for Jyn,” she continued, “I agree that he’s been on edge lately. Things haven’t been going too well for him. I’ll have to have a talk with him at some point.”
“Well, it has been nice to see more of Kell and Eimir. I swear they were turning into vampires with how little sunlight they got. I hope Jyn goes back to normal.”
Reya paused for a moment. “Hey, Rann?” she said, clenching her fists nervously while she waited for a reply.
“Yeah?”
“Why am I here?”
Rann frowned. “You already know why.” She figured that seeing Adrian would have been reason enough to realize the importance of staying hidden. It was the only way for them to be safe while the General figured out what to do with the situation.
“No, I mean why am I really here? I’ve thought about it, and it doesn’t make any sense that I’m here to begin with. You told me it was for my protection, but almost nobody knew about what happened to me. Not to mention the fact that I was completely unaware of Adrian’s existence until I was brought here, so I had no real information to offer anyone. And now that I know more, I have to stay here. It’s kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, don’t you think? The only reason I learned more was because you brought me here in the first place. What’s really going on, Rann?”
Rann swore internally. She’d been hoping that Reya would just accept the explanation given to her and that revealing Adrian’s existence would be enough to keep her from questioning further. She couldn’t tell Reya about their suspicions concerning the Tribunal. About how they might be the dangerous ones going after them. About how they weren’t safe back home because of it. Already, they’d set their sights on her.
“Rann? Why aren’t you saying anything?” Reya narrowed her eyes when Rann looked away with a guilty expression. “I knew it. There is something more, isn’t there? What aren’t you telling me?” Reya said in frustration. “Why won’t anybody just tell me what’s going on?”
Rann looked torn. “Because they don’t know,” she blurted out. Cursing at herself for letting that slip, Rann bit her lip, knowing that she’d messed up. It was going to be harder to evade Reya’s questions now.
“And you do?”
“You know I can’t say anything.”
“So you do know,” Reya accused. She was tired of playing this game of cat and mouse. Tired of being out of the loop and taken for a fool. All she wanted were some simple answers.
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“I found out by accident. Reya, please,” Rann pleaded, “just let this one go. I can tell you more about what happened at the facility, but you have to understand that there are some things I can’t talk about.”
Rann launched into a retelling of their second mission at the facility to mollify Reya. She described the events that occurred in as much detail as possible, recounting everything from the harsh weather conditions when they first arrived to the gru’ul committing suicide rather than being captured for questioning.
“That still doesn’t give me the answers I’m looking for, but I’ll count it as a win. Thank you. Are you sure that was alright, though? Won’t you get in trouble for divulging the details of a highly classified mission?”
“Reya, look at you. You’re smack in the middle of that classified mission. You already know so much. A few extra details at this point are irrelevant. The only other details I can’t give you concern how things played out from Adrian’s point of view.”
“So Jyn really shot at Adrian when they first met?” Reya was surprised over what had happened when they’d first encountered Adrian. That didn’t sound like the Jyn she knew. He was the calm and collected leader. Being trigger-happy was Beor’s purview.
“He was really tense. I’m sure he was under a lot of pressure and didn’t want to risk anything going wrong.” Rann kept her face studiously blank, hoping not to give away any more information. She didn’t know how Reya would take it if she found out that she was the reason Jyn was acting so uptight.
“I don’t get it. If Adrian’s been so compliant, why does Jyn dislike him so much? I feel like it’s growing worse.”
“I don’t know,” Rann said honestly. “I think they got off on the wrong foot and it’s stayed sour ever since.” Rann leaned back in her chair, forcing herself to relax. “Adrian doesn’t seem too fond of him either, although for him that’s a bit more understandable. How would you like it if you had to spend time with the guy who threatened you and almost killed you in cold blood – who could still kill you if he felt like it?”
Reya nodded in understanding. “I can see that,” she said.
Rann eventually placed both of her hands on her knees and stood up with a heavy groan. “It’s too cold to stay outside. I don’t know how you do it. I think I’m going to go to bed. You coming?”
“I’ll stay up a little while longer,” Reya said with a tired smile. She ignored the look of concern on Rann’s face as she went back inside and returned her attention to the sky above her. A streak of white flashed across the canvas stars, lighting up the sky and making Reya smile. “A shooting star, huh. Maybe it’ll bring me some luck and I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”
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Adrian jolted awake from his light sleep panting. He flailed on the ground in a twisted heap of limbs as he struggled to stand up. He looked around wildly. When insectoid silhouettes didn’t materialize from the shadows, he relaxed. It took his sleep-addled brain a moment to recall where he was. That he was safe.
A sheen of sweat coated him as adrenaline coursed through his veins. He took a shaky step and sat down on the bed, trying his best to calm his frayed nerves. Absentmindedly, his fingers traced the long scar on his torso. A part of him was still on that cold, metal operating table. Vivid images of his organs being removed one by one intruded on his thoughts. He blinked, trying to shut out his memories, but more came flooding in. In his mind’s eye, his stilled heart glistened red in the gore-covered hands of his tormentors as it was pulled from his chest.
“Fuck,” Adrian whispered as he put his face in his hands. He left his head hung low as he surrendered to his thoughts, fighting desperately to pull himself back out. The flashbacks are getting worse, he thought when he finally succeeded. He swallowed hard. This is ridiculous. Why won’t they just stop?
He checked the time. It was half past three in the morning. “So much for a full night’s sleep,” he said scornfully. He sighed. “Guess I’m up for now.” His stomach grumbled a low, quiet mewl, drawing his attention. He thought back to where the ration bars were in the cupboard in the kitchen. Surely they won’t mind if I go grab a snack.
Forcing himself up on stiff, creaking joints, Adrian left his room and ghosted down the hall, trying his best not to wake anybody. He crept down the stairs, skipping the one that creaked. To his surprise, a faint glow came from the kitchen as he rounded the corner. Reya was leaning against the island with a glass of water in hand. The lights directly above her were lowered to their dimmest setting, resulting in a deep orange glow lighting up the space. Long shadows were cast by the furniture, not that they bothered Adrian in the slightest.
Adrian made sure to step loudly so that she heard he was coming, not wanting to scare her with his sudden appearance. Her head snapped towards him, scanning the darkness for the source of the noise. She relaxed considerably when she spotted him. Coming closer, he looked around the empty room. “Can’t sleep either?” he asked in a low voice.
Reya let out a dry chuckle. “Nope. Haven’t been able to for a while now. Figured I’d get up and stretch my legs since there’s no way I’ll be falling back asleep anytime soon.” She took a long sip of water, her audible gulps reminding Adrian to have some as well. He walked behind her, withdrew a glass from one of the cupboards and filled it up halfway. Reya moved out of the way without a word so that he could access the sink. “Why are you up so late?” she inquired.
Adrian drained his glass before answering. Reya waited patiently for him to finish. “Bad dreams,” he replied, setting his glass down on the counter near the sink. “You?” he said over his shoulder as he dug around for a ration bar to munch on.
“Bad dreams,” Reya mirrored with a shake of her head. Adrian fished out a ration bar and offered one to Reya, which she declined. He opened his with a shrug and took a bite. Reya watched with a cocked eyebrow.
“I feel you on that one. How long have you been struggling with them?” Adrian asked, hoping he wasn’t stepping out of line. He watched as Reya changed positions to properly face him, her back now facing the counter. He could see the hesitation written plainly on her face and was mildly surprised when she answered. She tugged at her sleeve unconsciously, as if trying to cover something. Adrian noticed but decided not to comment.
“Since I got out,” she admitted out loud for the first time. She’d kept the extent of her nightmares a secret from Rann and the others, worried about how they’d treat her once they found out how deep her problems ran. Already, they trod carefully around her. While she loved them for their consideration, she didn’t want to be treated like she was made of glass. “Several months ago,” she added for clarity.
“I’m surprised you’re telling me.”
“Why? You asked.”
“I didn’t think you’d reply,” Adrian said. “Do the others know?”
“No. I don’t want them worrying. They wouldn’t understand.”
Adrian nodded. “I’ll keep it to myself then,” he promised. “Let me know if ever you want to talk about what happened. I’ll be here to lend an ear.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Reya smiled softly, and pushing herself off of her perch, she turned to go back to her room. “Hey, Adrian?” Adrian looked her in the eye when she called. “Same. If ever you want to talk, the offer’s there. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” Adrian watched her retreat back into the darkness, following her form until she was out of sight. Finishing his snack, he threw the wrapper away and put the glasses in the dishwasher. He ambled over to the light switch and turned off the lights. The moons’ rays filled the kitchen, casting an ethereal glow through the partially opened curtains as Adrian returned back to his room as well, contemplating Reya’s offer.