Chapter Twenty-Eight:
Fixation or Psychosis?
Andrew
That night, after a dinner full of laughter and an evening spent watching dumb Christmas movies, the boys, Slane and Ramah, and my wife and I parted ways. Riley declared he was camping with his brother tonight, who moaned in defiance, but knew he wasn’t going to win the fight. The two waved happily before running up the steps, where a few moments later a football game echoed on the television, along with bickering over whose team was better. I chuckled at the sound before going up the stairs to my own room, shaking my head to myself.
Cerelia was already out of the shower when I entered, and was sitting in a thin nightgown combing her auburn locks out. Her hair was incredibly curly after spending a day in a wrapped bun, and she was trying to detangle the locks with a frustrated frown. I propped my elbow up on the doorframe, which made her turn with a delicate blush. “Is there ever a moment when you aren’t incredibly stunning?” I teased.
“Is there ever a moment that you aren’t a stolto,” she replied, which made us laugh as I crossed the room and laid a kiss to her nose. She lovingly wrapped an arm around my waist, pressing her cheek to my side with a low sigh. In the mirror, our reflection gleamed back at me dauntingly. I’d always thought we made a nice couple, but tonight, we looked as fake as a painting, and it caused unease to fill my body. She peeked up and saw me staring at the mirror, which made her frown slightly, “What’s wrong?”
“Hmm? Oh, nothing, nothing…”
“We should probably talk about what happened today?” She prompted.
“I suppose so. Can I change first?”
“I’d prefer you skip the second set of clothing,” she teased, making me giggle obnoxiously before heading to the closet. She slid into bed and fluffed her pillow as I slid on a t-shirt and pants, then flopped down beside her morosely. “Could you look any more excited?” She laughed, poking my cheek.
“Is he right, Cerelia? Am I making a mistake?” I breathed seriously.
Cerelia blinked in shock, then frowned angrily, “About the boys? You are joking, right?”
“I'm not taking back anything I said today, but I cannot deny that Jeremiah stirred me up good. Every time I feel like I can put my doubts behind me, someone drills them back into my head. I’ve finally gotten free of him, and yet I'm letting fear cloud my judgement.”
“We’re at war, my darling, so of course you’re going to have doubts. No matter who you think you trust, you can never be sure who is friend and who is foe. For all we know, all of our Cavalry are conspiring against us, but it’s a risk we take. We cannot live in the shadows like hermits and be terrified of the world. As you said today, you are finally happy again. I haven’t seen you this happy in years, and every day you smile, I can see part of your soul return. There’s no point putting that happiness to waste because Jeremiah is a scumbag.”
“I can’t believe he said what he said. My father is a cruel man, no doubt about it, but that was… Joshua amount of cruel. The hatred in his voice…”
“He hates the fact that you favor Dmitri. He knows you do it because you empathize with him, and it makes Jeremiah’s skin boil, as it should for everything that man’s done to you.”
“That is exactly why I favor him. Jeremiah was as worthless a father as Joshua was a caregiver, and he will never swallow his pride and admit it. Unfortunately for him, I didn’t let that ruin me as a man, and I sure as hell am not going to allow anyone else to live like that if I can put a stop to it.”
“And that, Andrew, is why I love you.” She said simply.
I smiled to her, but a moment later, dread began to creep into my heart. “If something happens to these kids… to any of them… I will be absolutely devastated,” I whispered seriously, “I cannot lose any more people than I have. These Cavalry… they are so special to me. I have lived with Cavalry my entire life, but this is the first year in which I am close to every single one. I have an insatiable desire to put this bubble around them, but at the same time, I hired them to protect me, not vice versa. Is that demented, to feel that way?”
“If it is, then I'm just as demented as you are. I feel the same exact way. They all are just, so special. They’re funny, hardworking, and passionate. They have made incredible friends with one another, and I can tell that every moment they share helps them grow as people.”
“It’s amazing, isn’t it, what can happen in just a few months? Can you imagine how close they’ll be in a year, or five, or ten?”
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
“If they’re here that long…” Cerelia whispered, which made me look to her in horror, “Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment, shall we? If we win this war, things are going to change tremendously. For starters, Dmitri and Gwenevere are most definitely going to take over The West.” She had begun braiding the ends of her hair as she spoke, her eyes distant.
“You think so?” I mumbled wearily.
“I know so. There is no way in hell those two are ever going to let go of each other, and if Dmitri does successfully kill Alexei, then he has rights as not only a prince, but as a war victor, to the country. He will be praised as an incredible hero, and no one can call him a traitor if he holds his brothers’ head. Of course, after this, he may just want to settle down and forget the war even existed, which he is more than able to do. If it were me, I would want a break myself. Can you blame him for it? Eighteen plus years of fighting… It must be so tiring. The situation is very fifty, fifty, but either way, I feel he will know what is best for he and his future wife.”
“And what of the other Cavalry?”
“I guarantee they will want to follow him to The West, which I would never blame them for, or stop them from doing. I know their contract is for ten years, but if the war ends before that mark, they will all be absolutely exhausted. I know they will try and stick it out for our sake, but that they would much rather live peacefully with their very close friends, and if they stay in the army, they will want to help Dmitri rebuild The West’s. At the same time, can you blame them? After everything they will go through together, why would they ever want to separate?”
“I dread that day…” I admitted, “but I understand what you mean. I could never hold them here, either, if they want to go with him. If anything, I’ll be happy to know Dmitri and Gwen have proper protection.”
“And that leaves, us…” she sighed, leaning her cheek down to my hair, “All alone like the old crabs we are…” we both giggled to one another at her comment.
“Hey, we can finally adopt a hundred kids and cats like we wanted?” I joked.
“Yes to the kids, no to the cats. If Ramah leaves one more strand of fur on my good dresses, I’ll have him shaved bald.” She snapped as I exploded in laughter.
I hesitantly looked up to her smile, my eyes wide with curiosity, “Am I taking this too far? Am I pushing your comforts, and being selfish?”
“How so?” She questioned.
“With, everything. I’ve openly invited two children from The West into our home, and you know that if and when I find Morgan I surely will not let her go again. At the same time, if you told me tomorrow to get rid of them, they would be gone. You are the queen, Cerelia, and your opinion is what matters most to me. If I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, you need to tell me…?” I rambled and rambled so much that my voice eventually gave up.
She poked my nose with a raised eyebrow, “Andrew, you know damn well I wouldn’t let you do anything stupid, so relax. I trust your judgement, and as your wife and co-ruler, I can tell which decisions are good and bad. We have been married for twenty years; I think I know you well enough at this point.”
“Can you believe it’s been twenty years…?” I sighed, sitting up to pull her into my lap, “I thought it was insane to be married at sixteen, but here we are, as happy as the day we walked down the aisle. You have stood by me through the thick and thin, and I will never be able to repay you for that. You’ve sacrificed so much to be with me, and all I want is to make you incredibly happy for the rest of forever.”
“You do make me happy, and that makes everything we’ve been through worth it.” She pressed her forehead to mine before laying a soft kiss to my lip, which made me frown slightly.
“I wish I could give you what would make you truly happy…” I morosely breathed.
“Andrew, we’ve talked about this a thousand times…?”
“I know, I know, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t eat at my soul. It’s wonderful to have The Cavalry and Riley with us, but at the end of the day, they aren’t our children. I wish I could fill the void in your heart… I just want you to be happy…” I fell quiet as she combed her hands through my hair, her eyes shimmering with pain.
“Well, I believe you can make me pretty happy right now…?” She teased, tilting my chin up to press our lips together in an attempt to change the subject. It worked like a charm, and I succumbed to her touch with a soft sigh. Just as we embraced one another, and I began sliding her sleeves over her shoulder, loud knocking erupted on the bedroom door.
I snarled in unholy anger, and Cerelia giggled at the sound with a slight blush. “That better not be Ramah…. What is it!?” I barked.
“I need to speak with you right this second!?” Atticus called seriously.
Without hesitation Cerelia and I jumped up and opened the door, where Atticus grabbed my arm and darted to the conference room. “What’s going on? Something with The West? Do we need to send soldiers out?” I snapped as we ran.
“No, nothing like that, but it’s equally as important…!”
“Well, what the hell is it Atticus?!”
“See for yourself…?” He said, ripping me into the room. Ramah and Slane were seated at the table, and both looked to me with excited smiles. I stood in the doorway like a piece of ice, my heart thumping wildly in my chest.
“What is it, what is it!?” Cerelia exclaimed, shoving me aside to peer into the room. She gasped in pure shock and slid her hands over her mouth in disbelief.
“Morgan…?” I brokenly stammered.
Morgan sat at the long table with a smile and tears in her bruised eyes, clutching Ramah’s hands desperately, “Hey, little brother; long time no see?” She whispered.
End of Book One