Chapter One:
I Can See You’re Crumbling
Andrew
I stared at Morgan in pure disbelief. She held a weak smile, and her eyes begged me to help her. Cerelia was the first to move, and ghosted to my sister’s side. Morgan looked to her and flashed the same blinding smile she shared with her sons, which made Cerelia’s heart melt. She threw her arms around Morgan, hiccupping a soft cry as the two embraced. Ramah nodded to me in an effort to have me greet her as well. I stiffly broke free of my own shock and walked to her side, where I bent down beside her.
It had been ten years since I last saw my sister.
She was incredibly thin, and her eyes were sunken in to her skull. Her skin was decorated in millions of scars, cuts, and bruises; some were held together by bandages and weak stitching done in a hurry. She trembled slightly as if she were in pain, but still held a loose grin for me. I reached out and held her cheek, which made her close her eyes and sigh in pure relief. I could see the pain in her expression… the pain she had been combating for years, in just that single gesture. “Where are the boys?” I whispered to Atticus.
“Still in Dmitri’s room…” he replied; Morgan winced at her son’s name.
“Please go check on them, and keep them there until further notice. If they ask, just say Cerelia and I are holding a meeting with Ramah, and we asked them to stay out of it.”
“Of course,” he chimed, bowing, before rushing up the steps.
As soon as the door shut Cerelia slowly let go of Morgan, only to sit beside her and comb her hands through her honey hair lovingly, “How did you get here?” She breathlessly cooed.
“Matt helped me escape. When he returned from America and found out what had happened while he was gone, he went right to work. He used the battle between The North and West a few months back as an advantage to distract Joshua and Alexei. While they were occupied, he and a few loyal soldiers broke me free, and sent me to a small place in The Peace Zone. I was to stay there until further notice, but as soon as I found out Dmitri had been captured, I snuck back to The West to try and help…”
“So it’s true, then; you both really did help him escape?” Slane asked in awe.
Morgan moved to hug herself with a firm scowl, “Joshua absolutely would have killed him had we not. As soon as we knew he was safe, I went back into hiding until the coast was clear. Matt sent a letter to Ramah telling him where I was, and is back in The West trying to help civilians escape. Ramah sent for me as soon as he got it, which is how I got here.”
“How could you not tell us?” Cerelia scolded Ramah.
“I got the letter as soon as you went upstairs, and while you were in the meeting, I was with them in The Peace Zone. I went there immediately, knowing you would have wanted me to, and brought Morgan back here once I knew we were in the clear,” he replied.
“You were absolutely right to go… I can’t believe you’re really here…?” I scoffed.
“I have no intent to stay, but I wanted to see you before I left…?” Morgan tried.
“No intents to stay? Where are you going?” Cerelia snapped.
“Someone has to take care of Alexei, don’t they? I have caused enough problems for this country, the entirety of England, and it’s time I finished what I started…” Morgan whispered.
“Like hell you’re going! We just got you back, and you’re going to get yourself killed!?”
Morgan’s head dropped, “The Committee will kill me as soon as they find out I'm here…?”
“I could give two fucks what The Committee says…!” I cut into the conversation, but Morgan turned to me with tear-stricken eyes that made my soul twist.
“I understand, really, I do, and I appreciate how much you care about me, but enough is enough. Do you know how many nights I spent awake, trying to help my children?” She began, her voice breaking as she spoke, “Do you not think I wanted to protect Dmitri? Andrew, I put Alexei in therapy, on medications: I sent him to mental institutions. When that didn’t work, I let him take his aggression out through sports, boxing, gymnastics, whatever he wished. Then he started throwing rocks at animals.” Her voice broke further, her words twisting as she tried to force them out, “I am far from a perfect parent, but God damnit I tried. He told me he wanted to be in the army because it made him feel like he could control something; what do you do, when your son cries every night because he can’t contain himself, and nothing is helping besides that? If I had known what he was capable of, I would have never let him get his hands on my military!”
“Shh, it’s ok…” I tried to coo, but Morgan was beyond consolable.
“I lost everything because of that boy, everything. Alexei was all I had left, and he threw me in a cell. I have nothing left to fight for, Andrew, and I am tired. I'm forty-four years old, and all I have done for twenty-eight years is try to fix my son. I could not save all three of them, and like an idiot, I chose to save the one who can’t be saved…”
I folded my hands in my lap as Cerelia gave me the, ‘now is the time to ask’ look, “Do you wish to have a relationship with the boys?” I pressed.
Morgan sniffled loudly, “Of course I do, but it will never happen… At this point, can I blame them? My darling boys… All of the suffering I’ve put them through… I don’t deserve to call myself their mother…” she hiccuped, burying her face into her hands.
“How would you go about reconnecting with them?” Cerelia asked.
“I wouldn’t have the slightest clue. Riley and I have spent a little time together, but all of it was under Alexei’s watch. I have no clue how he truly feels about me, and until recently, I thought Dmitri was dead…?” She morosely croaked.
“I’ve spent a lot of time with your children, and let me tell you, you’ve really missed out,” I scoffed as sadness fill her eyes. “Your kids are truly remarkable people, and they have brought a lot of joy to my life. Riley has become quite the spectacular man; he not only was the reason Dmitri escaped The West, but he helped bring us thousands of transcripts, maps, and much more that are helping my commander devise a plan for this war.”
“He did?” She whispered in awe.
“He’s spent his last few weeks cooped up in Zachary’s office, helping him for hours on end to sort through it all. I see great potential in him as a commander, that’s for sure. As for Dmitri... When he first came here, he barely spoke a word to anyone. He was very reserved, kind, but reserved. He has blossomed into something beautiful, though. There isn’t a day where we can’t make him smile, no matter how crushed he feels. He has stuck his neck out for this kingdom in ways no other person has, and has gained large amounts of my respect.”
My words broke her heart.
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She blinked back more tears and shuddered on silent sobs that wanted to break from her chest. “Eight years…” she began hollowly, “It has been eight years, since I’ve seen that boy. For years, I let Alexei torture the light of my life. It would be so selfish to try and beg for his forgiveness when I do not deserve it. I will one day swallow my guilt for failing my country, but I will never be able to forgive myself for failing Dmitri and Riley.”
Cerelia combed her hair back carefully, “You think that, but Dmitri has been worried sick about you. When I asked him what he wanted for Christmas, his answer was, if I can recall, ‘I want to know my mother is alive. I don’t need her to be with me, but I just want to know that she’s safe and away from Alexei’. In my opinion, that means he must care a little bit about you?”
“He said that…?” Morgan sniveled.
I shifted to pull her into my side, where she let her head lifelessly fall onto my shoulder. I kissed her temple and kept her close in my arms, choosing my words carefully, “I would much rather you stay here, Morgan, and allow us to protect you. You would be a huge asset to the fight, and it would be a great relief to know you and your children are safe. Cerelia and I have been searching for you ever since this war began, and to have you here now means that years of worry are behind us. Not to mention, the boys need you. Dmitri is doing well, yes, but we will never fill the void he has in his heart. His family is broken as it is, and if I can restore what little fragments of it I can, I surely will, to ensure his happiness.”
“Why? Why are you doing this? You have no obligation, and yet you have been the only one who has helped my children, and now, even me. How does your court stand by you while you make these decisions, and how do you believe that they are right?” Morgan whispered; her eyes wide with nothing but disbelief.
I pondered for a moment, trying to find the right words, but ended up shrugging lamely to her surprise. “Because I want happiness? It is a dumb and childish thing to say, but it is the God honest truth. Not everyone in this world is evil, and I'm just dumb enough to want to have my sister in my life. You are my best friend, Morgan, and if I can return the favor you have done for me as a child, then I could rest easy at night.” My tone shifted to much more serious, “On the flipside, I need all of the allies I can get. If you are willing to help me, I am more than happy to help you. I want this to end, and if we all team up, we can make it so. you need to be committed to the cause, but I will give you the chance you need. I may be one of the only people on the planet who empathizes with your situation, so please, don’t take that for granted and just let me help?”
She paused, then stiffly brought her arms around me. I hugged her back warmly, wincing slightly at the feeling of her spine poking through her thin skin. “I won’t let you down…” She whispered, her voice radiating with pure gratitude.
╬
The following morning, after Cerelia and I spent the night fixing Morgan up, the three of us and the Slane’s congregated back in the conference room. Cerelia was absolutely ecstatic to have Morgan by her side once more, and had been gushing to her all night about what had been going on in her absence. She told her stories about our beloved Cavalry, the victory that followed the attack from The West, and even showed Morgan the small collection of photographs she had been taking over the past few years. Morgan tried to keep up with her, but she was so exhausted, though she still held a smile for her sister-in-law.
I walked out to the rail of the second floor and bent over, poking about to try and spot the boys. They came out of the dining room a few moments later with Atticus, both dressed adorably in pajama pants, slippers, and sweatshirts. Dmitri was wearing his glasses to give his eyes a rest, and Riley’s hair was still a disheveled mess from just waking up. “Riley? Do you mind coming up here for a moment?” I called over the rail, which made the boys look up to me happily.
“And where have you been all night!?” Dmitri snapped, smacking his hands to his waist.
“I don’t remember your name being Riley?” I snickered back.
“Why is he so special! What’s going on, locking us up like dogs!?”
“I know, because you were so abused with all the liquor and sports you two purged on?” I laughed as he stuck his tongue out and nodded to his brother.
“Alright, I'm coming, I'm coming!” Riley called, racing up the steps happily. Dmitri said he would go wait in his room, where I'm sure he had a book awaiting his attention. I turned and wrung my hands out nervously as Riley waved, running a hand through his thick, messy gold hair ashamedly. “What can I do for you?” He chirped.
“Well, I have a surprise for you. It’s quite a big deal…?”
“I told you, no presents!” He barked, which made me chuckle.
“This one was free,” I assured.
“Ok, what is going on…?” He accused with worry illuminating his eyes.
“Why don’t you just see for yourself?” I took his arm and lovingly tugged him forward; his fear was palpable as we approached the conference room door. I knocked twice, signaling our entrance, before pulling Riley inside.
Once he rounded the corner and saw his mother sitting at the table with a cup of tea in her hands, his face contorted into pure disbelief. I was terrified he was going to snap as he slowly pulled himself free, his arms swinging to his sides lifelessly. “Oh my God…” he finally whispered. Cerelia hesitantly stood and nodded to the chair beside Morgan, which Riley ghosted towards. Morgan took a small breath as he slowly sat down, his eyes glistening in the morning light that crept through the windows. “Mom…?” He breathed, touching the ends of her hair to make sure it really was her.
“Hello, ma petite souris…?” As soon as he heard his nickname, he gasped softly and threw his arms around his mother. The gesture took her a little by surprise, but she automatically encased him in her embrace, whispering sweet nothings to him in beautiful French. It was the language she had spoken to her children for years: a little code between they and their parents that the boys cherished, and it made tears swell in Riley’s eyes.
“How… How did you get here…?” He begged, kissing her temple wildly.
“Matt helped me…?”
“Matt?” He echoed in awe.
Morgan’s smile was coy, as she, too, caught the way Riley had said his name. “Yes; he has done so much for me, more than I could ever ask. He helped me get to The Peace Zone, and waited for Ramah to meet us there. It’s unbelievable, Riley. Ever since he came home… He just…? I can’t even put it into words. He’s been busy trying to funnel citizens out of The West and into The North and East, for starters. I don’t know who’s helping him, but he’s already saved a few hundred if not more. At this rate, he may be able to cut casualties in half…?” Morgan warmly explained, though she paused briefly at the expression that overcame her son.
The look on Riley’s face was one I had never seen before. A passionate, absolutely enamored smile broke on his cheeks, and he scoffed slightly in disbelief, “Has he, now…?” He whispered in a tone that matched his grin.
“He gave me something for you, as well,” she pulled an envelope from her pocket and placed it into his hands, which made him flush pure pink.
He turned it in his hands for a moment, then automatically looked to me and held it out, “You read it first.” He said seriously.
“No, Riley, I trust you…?” I tried.
“Please, read it. I don’t want you to be suspicious of anything I do,” he begged. I sighed and took the envelope, pulled the stationary free, and peeked at the first sentence.
Riley: I hope this letter finds you well, my love.
“Oh boy, yep, it checks out!” I cried, shoving it back at him with a ferocious blush.
Riley turned three shades of pink, “What did it say?”
“Let’s just say, I learn something new about you every day,” I joked. He slapped a hand to his mouth and yelped wildly, making everyone laugh to themselves. “Oh God, please don’t tell Dmitri what you saw…?” He whined.
“As if I’d tell that loser; he’d hang it over your head for eternity.” Morgan and Riley laughed lightly before she pulled him closer to her, kissing his cheeks over and over again. He welcomed her touch and buried his face into her neck with a smile that looked permanently plastered to his face.
Cerelia wound her arms around mine and sniffled, leaning her cheek into my shoulder. “Look how happy he is…?”
“I know; it really is a special moment. Let’s just hope Dmitri will be the same way?” I breathed back, making her giggle and nod excitedly. “Should we wait until it’s closer to Christmas to tell him? Give Morgan some time to rest, and let it be a true present for him?”
“I think that’s a great idea; he’ll be so happy! Do you mind the wait?” Riley asked her.
“Whatever you think will make it more special, I’ll comply with,” she chimed before taking either side of Riley’s face. She gazed into his eyes for a moment before uncontrollable tears flooded down her cheeks, and she shook her head. He tsked and pressed loving kisses to her hair and cheeks, with a warmth between the two that filled the entire room.