Chapter Seventeen:
Hands Stained with Blood
Dmitri
It took another four hours to successfully bring every hero back home. Out of the four hundred and thirty three we brought to the fight, we lost seventeen, with fifty four injured. It was heartbreaking to say goodbye to our friends, but the difference in numbers compared to The West’s loss of two hundred and eighty seven was a true victory. Andrew was elated; he was so happy that he actually cried, and was inconsolable for a good few minutes. This reaction coming from such a strong willed man was a true honor, and made the five of us feel like the heroes we had signed up to be. Zachary himself praised us relentlessly, and even said to me, “For a Snake, you make one hell of a soldier. I am truly proud to work alongside you, Mr. Mortimer.”
It was the nicest backhanded compliment I’d ever received.
In between carting soldiers home I was able to down a water bottle, but was so exhausted that my body didn’t crave anything but sleep. Michael and I were the last two out on the shoreline, while the other three prepped for our return. They themselves had stayed back to refuel, shower, and change, and promised to meet us in the foyer with our own amenities waiting. Cerelia and the girls were pretty mad I was pushing myself so far, but they understood my intentions, and didn’t try and argue with me.
Michael was finishing up with his final send off as I groggily walked up to my own, who was a soldier name Brendan. He had shattered his ankle a few hours ago, but pain reliever and a comfy spot on the grass had kept him patient and occupied while we took the serious injuries in first. “Hey, kid, ready to head home?” I asked, holding my hand out.
“Am I ever,” he joked as I helped him up, and walked him across the field to a horse.
“Thanks for being so patient with us; I'm sure you’re in a lot of pain.”
“Ah, it’s fine. I broke so many bones as a kid; this is nothing.”
“Excuse the horrific blood smell,” I joked.
“Andrew’s water bill is gonna be a bitch this month,” he said to make me laugh.
I hoisted him up, then set his broken ankle delicately in the buckle before sighing. “Alright, there we are. Follow Abram, and if you can’t control her well, yell for Michael or I.”
“I got it, don’t worry. Thanks for the help, and get some rest. You look worse than the corpses,” he said, saluting me before taking off after his commander.
“I feel it…” I whispered to myself as Archimedes tiredly nudged my arm. I hugged his nose, then kissed his face lovingly and pressed my forehead to him. “You did good today; I'm so proud of you. We’ll be home soon, and you can rest easy,” I cooed lovingly.
“Hop to it, soldier. We got some z’s to catch!” Michael joked as he rode up on his horse, Rusty. The bags under his eyes were just about consuming his face, though I did appreciate that he still smiled to keep spirits up. I joined him on Archimedes before we took off towards the bridge. Through the ride, he blabbed on about something that happened during the fight, but I was barely conscious with my head titled down. Exhaustion finally won, and I had lost consciousness within seconds of the ride. Michael saw me starting to slip and yelped, pulling Archimedes to a stop to fasten me better to the horse. Once I was stable, he chuckled and had Rusty lead Archimedes home, shaking his head to himself with a smirk.
The girls met us at the bridge, where they tsked at the sight of me passed out against my horse’s neck. Martha pulled Archimedes to a stop, “He pushed it way too far today…” she scolded as Michael hopped down and stretched.
“Yeah, but he’s proud of himself. He really proved his worth to the higher ups, and they know it. Hopefully, he won’t have to fight as hard for their acceptance now.”
“Let’s hope so,” Gwen came around Archimedes and lovingly touched my cheek, brushing her fingers over my cuts, “Dmitri, love?”
“Hmm, what…? Oh, home…” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes with shaking hands.
The action took my breath away, and the sound made everyone cringe. The pain from all of my injuries had finally caught up with me, and it was obvious in my actions, which worried my comrades. “Let’s get you checked out, then you can sleep, ok?” She cooed.
I slid down and mopped inside like a zombie, where Martha sat me on the couch and brushed my hair from my eyes to start cleaning out various cuts. Slane, who was just as exhausted, appeared with the royal couple, who sat beside us and watched her tilt me back slightly. She tsked at the wound from this morning’s arrow incident, scolded me for not having it properly checked earlier, then went to work patching me up. “Hmm, I have to get this shirt off you…” She tried.
“Here…” I pulled my knife loose and ran it under the clothing that was plastered to my skin from dried blood. Before continuing, I paused, sighing sadly, “Try not to gawk too much at me…” I whispered.
“Why would we gaw-…?” Stefan fell dead quiet as Slane and I shimmied the torn fabric away, revealing the hundreds of scars along my body. Everyone tried desperately to turn away, but their eyes kept gravitating so they could identify them. Most were war injuries, a few from whips and belts as a child, and of course the brand in my arm. I was so self-conscious that my hands were shaking, and I bit my lip to try and contain some of the anxiety rattling my bones.
I cast my own eyes away to not feel as embarrassed, but to my surprise, Gwen and Martha were chirping adorably to each other. “What?” I asked nervously.
“You were hiding that sexy body because of a couple scars? How fair is that!?” Gwen mocked, which made us all laugh until tears ran down our cheeks.
“Honestly, they make you look pretty badass, dude. I’m kind of in fear of my own masculinity at the moment,” Michael teased, which made me roll my eyes with a giggle.
“God, I love all of you…” Cerelia sighed, kissing Gwen’s hair and hugging she and Stefan close to her, “I am so, so proud of you. Truly, you amazed us all. You validated our choices further than anyone ever imagined.”
“We’re just glad we brought home as many soldiers as we did.” Stefan sighed.
“Each and every one of you shined today. You had your nominations put to the test, yet you didn’t cave under pressure. Every move you made was thought out and well executed, which proves further that you are not just some teenagers with swords. I am very impressed.” Andrew said seriously, which made us all illuminate a deep crimson.
“Thank you, your highnesses,” Martha whispered.
“Alright, there we are, that should hold for tonight at least. Take some pain reliever, a lot of it, then come back tomorrow when you get up. We’ll be able to pinpoint the real issues after your adrenaline dies down a bit more,” Slane explained, pinching my cheek cutely.
“Thanks, Slane,” I said as she waved and moved to her next patient. I stretched painfully, twisting my aching shoulder with a moan, “God damn, that hurts…” I admitted.
“More reason to get you upstairs,” Gwen prompted.
“All of you get some rest, as much as you need. Heal up and recover for a few days, and we’ll resume normal activities starting next week,” Andrew sang lovingly.
“Yes, rest well my darlings, and know that we can call this day a glorious victory.” Cerelia said, kissing each of us before nodding to the staircase. The couple watched with shimmering eyes as we hiked the steps, patting one another on the back in relief that we all made it out alive today.
╬
It took a forty-minute shower to get all of the blood and dirt off my body, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was unconscious. Stefan and Michael tried to get me to eat something but gave up the fight quickly and passed out themselves. I hadn’t even bothered to light my candles, but Michael did for me, which was incredibly thoughtful.
Our already comfy beds were ten times more comfortable after such a long day, and I could have slept for an eternity had it not been for my aching stomach waking me several hours later. I groggily opened my eyes at around four, and poked my head out from under the covers to turn the alarm clock towards me. I ran a hand over my aching face with a soft sigh before stiffly dragging myself to a sitting position, where I fingered for some granola bars to snack on.
I was so tired that at first, I didn’t notice that the balcony door was open, and Michael was sitting outside staring up at the moon. I blinked, and rubbed my eyes again to make sure it was really him before I shuffled across the room to peek around the door. He had his eyes closed, headphones on, and was welcoming the breeze that brushed through his dark hair. He usually had it slicked back formally, but it had become disheveled from sleep and a lack of hair gel following his own shower. I smirked and touched his shoulder, which made him blink at me before he pulled his headphones free so he could hit stop on the player. “Hey, why are you up?” he asked warmly.
“My intestines were eating themselves,” I admitted, which made him chuckle as I sat down beside him, “What are you doing up?” I asked as I gnawed on my snacks. He fell quiet, and that me frown, “Mike, is everything ok?”
“I guess,” he whispered finally.
“You can talk to me, you know?”
He hesitated for a few more moments, then brought his knees up to rest his aching arms on them. “How do you do it?” He asked numbly, “How do you do it, without feeling any emotion, any remorse? Stefan, the girls… none of them cared. But it’s eating me alive.”
“Are you talking about killing people?” I prompted.
“This isn’t my first time doing it, but definitely the first time I’d killed this many in such a short period of time. Twenty eight was when I lost count.”
I ruffled his hair to his surprise, “It’s always hard the first time you’re exposed to true combat. At the end of the day you’re taking another person’s life, no matter how good or bad they are. It’s no easy task. It takes years of hardening yourself, as well as constant exposure to war, but the nightmares never stop. War is war; no matter how strong you are, it’s crippling to the psyche.”
“You were so amazing today…” he scoffed, “Watching you with those prisoners, and in the field before the explosion: I could never have that much confidence. You tore them to pieces like a robot; I question if you even are human,” he joked, but he knew automatically that the comment was harsh. “Er, sorry, that came out weird…?”
“It’s ok, I know what you mean,” I assured, then sighed softly. “I’ve been doing this a long time, Mike…” I began, opening another bar as I spoke, “Joshua’s been putting me on the field since I can remember. I killed my first person at ten. He lined him up like a baseball on a little league T for me, and wouldn’t let me leave until the man was dead. It was truly traumatizing, and I had nightmares for weeks because of it. I vowed I’d never kill a person unless I truly had to, though, sadly, I definitely have killed my fair share. I don’t like to kill people. I try to use intimidation to scare them off, but soldiers are stubborn bastards. What I'm getting at, is that it’ll never be easy to kill people. I do my best to block out any other thought besides ‘Win the War’ when I have to, and that’s what helps me get through it. I just deal with the trauma later.” I said with a mediocre shrug.
“Does it get a little easier?” He tried.
“I mean, sure it does, but that’s an issue too. If it gets too easy, that means you enjoy it. You should always have two mindsets; I killed for my country, but I respect that I took a person’s life. Always remember that you only kill when you have to, and that the soldiers you face have the same ideals you do. They fight for their king because they think he is right. As loyal as we are to Andrew, Kyle, Ashley, and the girl were as loyal to Alexei. People were given conscious minds for a reason, and they chose a side on their own. They also chose to start problems they can’t finish, which ends with their demise. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the way the world works during war.”
“I get what you mean. I dunno… I just feel, weird. I'm so used to fronting ‘manly confidence’ and this is the first time I haven’t been able to do it.”
“Just because you’re a man doesn’t mean you don’t have emotions,” I scoffed.
“I… I know…” He hesitantly tried.
“What was your childhood like?” I asked abruptly.
He gnawed his lip, then huffed nervously, “I'm a born and raised North boy; lived in a small shack by the water. Went to The North academy with Stefan, who has been my best friend for many years. I lived with my Mom, who was a raging alcoholic after my Dad left her. He drilled it into my head that men are fearless, emotionless, confident. We had to be better than women at all times. If we weren’t rocks, then we were bitches who didn’t deserve a dick. Mom kind of forced me into the academy to occupy me while she drank, but I ended up thriving, and by the time I graduated I was more than ready to join the army.
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My childhood was rough, though, from my mother’s problems, and my own. I used to be a hardcore drug addict...” He paused, then hesitantly let a few tears fall down his cheeks, “I used them as a way to gain her acceptance, and ended up hurting the people I should have been reaching out to. The night I overdosed became the stepping stone for my recovery. I will always remember the day Stefan walked me into the rehab center… The hours he spent calming me down when I was going through withdrawals. He’s always been there for me, you know. He’s an absolute klutz, but that kid is incredibly smart, and a very loyal friend. I wouldn’t be alive without him, and will always respect him for what he’s done for me.”
“What kind of drugs were you addicted to, and for how long?”
Michael blinked at the suddenness of the question, “Heroin; thirteen to fifteen.”
“Excuse the bluntness, but I'm just wondering. I'm not great at reading people, so I need all the information I can get to figure a person out,” I said emotionlessly.
“I understand,” he replied, smiling as he wiped his eyes.
I thankfully picked up on the right cue, and patted his back soothingly, “I'm sorry, Mike. That must have been hell to go through. I'm glad Stefan was there for you, though. It’s more than obvious how close you two are, and your recovery is extremely admirable. It must be amazing, to have been nominated with your best friend.”
“We were so excited to be together, and excited for Gwen, too. She kind of kept to herself in school, but everyone knew her well enough. We used to hang out quite a bit, but she was so obsessed with training it was hard to pull her away,” Michael laughed.
“I can believe it,” I sighed lovingly.
“What’s up with you two, anyway? You’re always all flirty when your together.”
“Am not!” I barked childishly, which made him snort a giggle.
“Yeah, ok. Hey, more power to you if you guys do end up together. She’s incredibly gorgeous, and very kind. She has a hard exterior, though. She puts up a front that she’s nothing but confidence and skill, but she hides her demons far down.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you think I had it rough, you have no idea…” he scoffed sadly, flicking a cigarette he had lit twice, “Her life has been a shit show for years. Her father was murdered right when the war started, during an attack on the castle. He was a highly regarded soldier in Andrew’s court, and a close friend of Ramah’s. It really spooked the kingdom when it happened, and devastated Gwen and her mother.”
“Jesus Christ…” I mumbled as the immediate guilt made my throat close.
“Her mother sold everything to keep a roof over their heads, and got with a shitty guy because he had money. She constantly was getting hit, and he was just as awful to Gwen. She was always covered in bruises, and Stefan and I were so scared he was doing more than just hitting her. Her mother tried so hard to protect her, but she was never home because of work. Stefan and I made sure Gwen was never home, either, until her mother finally kicked him out. They were going to lose everything after he left, so all of our classmates held a fundraiser to keep them afloat until her mother could figure everything out. To this day she doesn’t know we did it, and Stefan and I will take that secret to the grave.”
“I didn’t know any of that,” I admitted.
“Gwen doesn’t ever bring it up. She cuts off her childhood like a dead limb, and acts like it doesn’t exist. She sends her mother half of her pay every week just to make sure they can keep their house back home. If she knew I was telling you this she would slit my throat,” he chuckled. I fell silent for a moment, which made him turn to me worriedly, “I mean, let’s be honest though; no one had it as bad as you.”
“Don’t start with that bullshit.” I spat to his surprise, “I really can’t stand it. Everyone’s been coddling me ever since I came here, especially after that video, and it’s beginning to agitate me. I appreciate immensely how supportive and kind you all are, but I’m a soldier, and I didn’t come here to rack up sympathy points. I know it was bad, but it’s over now. I'm much happier with all of you, and that’s what matters. When the war is over it’ll be even easier to forget it ever happened. I myself would like to disconnect the limb, so to speak, for multiple reasons.”
“I get it, man, no worries. I guess it kind of shell shocked us is all. Stuff like that only happens in movies, at least, from what we’re used to. I mean, everyone’s had shitty lives, but God damn. I can’t believe someone can do that to a kid, and have the kid turn out to be you.”
“What’s that mean?” I joked.
He turned to me seriously, his copper eyes fearless, “The fact Joshua never broke you shows how strong you are as a person. I surely would have snapped after just a few beatings, but you took it for years. You’ve got one hell of an iron will, Dmitri, and it’s extremely envious. I couldn’t handle a few smacks from a drunk old woman without shooting up, yet you got branded and have never acted out because of it. It’s extremely admirable how strong you are.”
I was slightly taken aback by his words, but hid it with a smirk, “Well, thanks, for that. A lot of it comes from my mother; even when everything was really bad, I kept reminding myself that someone, somewhere, still loved me. Joshua tried so hard to make me feel worthless, but every time I saw my mother, she reminded me how much I meant to her. God, I wish you could meet her…” I bunched up the wrappers, my hands shaking slightly as I spoke, “She is the most incredible person in the world. The West used to be such a beautiful country before the war. I never wanted to leave, and now, all I do is run from it. My mother was so proud of what she built, and Alexei tore it to shreds.”
“That’s what you fight for, though,” he reminded, “You fight for freedom; to regain control of the country and make it beautiful again. I'm sure, one day, it’ll be a wonderful place once more. It’ll just take some tender love and care is all.”
“Yeah, I agree…” I yawned loudly, “You should really get some sleep?” I offered.
He scoffed a soft laugh sadly, “I dunno if I can fall back asleep to be honest…”
“Well, let’s try,” I lead the way back into our room as Michael shut the balcony door, sighing to himself. I flopped onto my bed like a fish out of water, which made him snort into his sleeve to not wake Stefan, before I scrambled under the covers. He sat on his own bed for a moment and eyed the sheets evilly; I rolled my eyes playfully and smacked my pillows. “Come on, get over here,” I said with a friendly smile.
“Heh?” He popped.
“Don’t act so proud, you loser.” He awkwardly dragged his blanket over and plopped on the bed beside me, then fell back on the pillows like a corpse. I lit my forgotten candles again, then shook the match and smooshed into my own pillows. “Wanna cuddle?” I whispered teasingly, which made him whack me hard as I laughed hysterically into my blanket.
“You’re an asshole,” he spat before giggling in defeat, “Thanks, Dmitri. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. Wake me up if you can’t sleep, and we’ll draw a mustache on Stefan’s face. It’ll be the only beard that kid can grow.” We both choked on mousy giggles before falling into a peaceful sleep, which I knew he probably wouldn’t have done at all had we not had our talk. I was proud of myself for being able to console him, even if it was just a little.
╬
Somewhere around twelve o’clock, I heard Stefan let out an agonized moan before he slowly sat up and ruffled his messy hair while stiffly swinging his legs off the bed. He banged on the wall twice, our signal to ask if the girls were awake, which Gwen replied to with two bangs in return. He knocked back once to say he was the only one, and Gwen did twice to say both girls were as well. He abruptly paused, then turned to my bed and snorted a loud, obnoxious laugh, “Hey, Romeo and Juliet!? Did you two shag up last night?!” he called.
“Shut up, peasant.” I barked into my comforter, which made him cry hysterics.
“Yes, your majesty!” He teased.
I threw a granola bar at him as the girls snuck in, smacking a hand over their mouths to hold in their own laughs. “Er, wanna explain why my boyfriend is in your bed?” Martha asked.
“Would you all stop; he had a bad night, so I was just being nice,” I grumbled.
“By blowing him?” Stefan offered, making me laugh in defeat.
“Well, he is so irresistibly strong and handsome…” I mocked in a flirtatious tone.
“You are so weird!” Martha giggled through her teeth.
“Ok, seriously, is everything ok?” Gwen asked.
“Yeah, he’s fine, just a little shaken up about yesterday, but we talked it out,” I explained as I stiffly sat up. The girls gasped horrifically, which made me jump, “What, what!?” I cried.
“Return of the Baby Chicken!” they screeched, pointing to my messy bed head.
Stefan and I laughed so loud that we woke up Michael, who wore a heavy glare as he slinked out from under the covers, “Would you kindly shut the fuck up?” he growled, his voice croaky from being in such a heavy sleep for so long.
“Good morning sunshine; glad to see you’re in a wonderful mood,” Stefan joked as he plopped on the bed in between Michael and I, ruffling Michael’s hair as he smacked him away.
“How are you guys awake, let alone dressed?” I yawned to the girls, stretching so hard I heard something pop, which made my eyes flash open in shock.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I would like substantial sustenance at some point,” Gwen said as she watched me try and find the source of the popping with a giggle.
“You ok there, junior!?” Stefan yelled obnoxiously.
“I, think, so…? Ha-Ha Ha Ha!” I popped my shoulder, which cracked loudly and made everyone dry heave. “I knew something was off!” I cried.
“Eww, Dmitri!” Michael whined.
“What?! I haven’t exerted myself in a while, so I was bound to mess something up?”
“Even at seventeen you sound ninety…”
“There it was again!” Gwen cried over us as I turned tomato red.
“There was what?” Stefan asked.
“Did you hear him laugh!?” She exclaimed in absolute excitement.
“Gwenevere, close your mouth,” I snarled.
“Now that you mention it, that was really weird. When did you start doing that?”
“Can we end the conversation please?”
Stefan’s lips twirled into a devilish smile, and he slunk closer to crawl over me. I backed into Michael, who groaned in annoyance at having both of our weights on his back, “Does Dmitri Mortimer have an adorable nervous tick?” Stefan cackled.
“Look what you did,” I snapped to Gwen, who looked pretty pleased with herself.
“Oh, I will surely get you to do that again, little Baby Chicken,” he demonically hissed.
“You were dropped as a child, weren’t you?”
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” Gwen laughed, pinching my cheek before nodding to the door, “Why don’t you guys get dressed so we can go eat?”
“Yeah, we should get some food before my stomach starts fist fighting with my lower intestine,” I joked as I stood to get ready for the day. “Though, if Stefan brings up my laugh again, I will have to choke slam him through your bedroom wall as punishment.”
“Jokes on you; I'm too skinny!” He called from the opposite bathroom.
“Jokes on you; I'm strong enough to make it work!” I yelled back.
He yelped and slammed the door shut, which made Gwen and I laugh hysterically and shake our heads to one another. Michael went into the bathrooms after I was done, with Martha following to make sure he really was ok, while Gwen and I stayed behind so I could find something to wear. “You sure you slept enough? You really pushed it yesterday,” Gwen asked.
“That’s what coffee is for,” I chirped, poking her cheek to make her roll her eyes. “Stop worrying so much, I slept for twelve hours.”
“And was on the field for the same amount of time?” she pressed.
“Gwenevere…?” I whined, which made her giggle as I fished out pants and underwear. I didn’t think twice about changing in front of her, which in hindsight was probably odd. She flashed a brilliant pink and whipped around as I slid my shirt off, pausing with a sadistic smile. “What, never seen a boy naked before?” I taunted.
“Do you want to die today?”
I had slid on my boxers as she said that, and instead of continuing, I came up behind her and propped my arm against the wall. She hesitantly turned, then flushed an even brighter red to my delight, “I must admit, I have a lot of pent up teenage hormones after watching you cut someone in half yesterday, which in itself is kind of psychotic and messed up, but still hot,” I fronted in my best flirtatious tone.
“What is wrong with you?” She sighed happily.
“Violence turns me on,” I joked with a shrug.
“Just violence?” She teased, poking my bare chest devilishly.
“You win this round, Ms. Lee,” I said in the sexiest voice I could muster, grabbing her outstretched hand to kiss her palm before turning to finish dressing.
“That’s it!?” She stubbornly whined.
“I'm sorry, we’re you expecting something more?” I cackled as she whipped me around, pulled me towards her, and kissed me. I moved my hand up to her elbow and held her tight for the moment, then hesitantly let go when she broke the gesture. When she did pull away, her expression was empty, which made me frown a little, “What’s wrong?” I breathed seriously.
“I was truly terrified yesterday. I thought we had lost you in that field. I don’t know what I would have done if you really had died…” a tear spilled down her cheek, which I lovingly brushed away as she spoke. “Please don’t do that to me again, ok?”
I tilted her chin up and poked her nose so she would grin, “I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, I swear. I would have never done something so reckless without having a backup plan. Try not to think about the what if’s, ok?” my words didn’t seem to be enough to ease her worries just yet. She brought her eyes away from mine, and kept them to the floor as she tried to relax, which made my heart squeeze. “Gwenevere?” I whispered.
“Hmm…?” She sighed morosely.
I leaned forward and brought my lips to her ear, brushing her hair back delicately. “The day Alexei came to the castle, I was certain I was going to crack under the pressure. If you hadn’t been standing beside me, I don’t think I would have had the strength to make it through that meeting.” Her breath caught as I spoke, and made me smile lovingly, “You made me feel strong, invincible, even when I had to face Joshua, and I can never repay you enough for that. I will never let anything happened to me; I'm too scared to let that feeling go…”
She turned slightly to see how serious I was, and whatever my eyes relayed back made her own twinkle. “Looks like I did something right, eh?” she replied weakly.
I breathlessly chuckled and laid a soft kiss to her temple, “I love you.” I hesitantly said.
I waited for her to process what I said, and after a moment, she turned so that our lips were inches apart. Her cheeks were an adorable pink, and a smile tugged on the corner of her lips. “I love you, too.” She answered with an incredible sparkle illuminating her eyes.