Births.

The pumpkin sprouting continues although its now down to only half a million. They are coming into this world for the upcoming October harvest. The Mad Goodies, have yet again been warning of over exploitation of the squash family.

The Great Lucifer was born again this week. Sadly he also passed away this week. There will be a next time.

An ancient tradition was re-started this week when Prince Vlod (not Vlad) of the kingdom of Dark Heights hand his christening. Three aunts attended to give curses and an embarrassing fourth aunt arrived without invitation and gave a blessing.

Marriages.

The rooks of Engleby Turning gleefully mobbed the wedding of Dubious Crowfoot and his bride Screaming Meemie. Shrieks were had by all, as the murder of crows dive bombed the family and guests, pulling at hair, thieving jewellery (there may have been the odd jackdaw in tow), and dropping soggy moss and leaves from St Goddarks belfry gutters. The brides dress was well and truly greened.

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Roland Netherwick has married the daughter of the Grand Waterlock of Staine. A medieval feast was held, including a boar’s head full of caviar and was attended by the Selkie of the sound. This unfortunately led to a serious accident involving a piece of Seaweed, but the guests refuse to comment.

Death.

There was dancing and singing at the celebrations for the funeral of Mrs Pipistrel. Candied moths topped the menu closely followed by fly soup.

Three covens attended the, Mistress of Ceremonies Demise Party. They are recorded as being disappointed there was no one to curse in revenge for her death. Her passing was put down to her increasing deafness, that led to her miss-judging the distance to a wall. She crashed into it, pinwheeled to the ground and broke her neck.

A new Mistress of Ceremonies will be announced in three months after the backstabbing has settled.

All sweetly named witches have gone into hiding this week. A descendant of Gretel has gone insane and entered into a killing spree.

Ms Sweetbread of the Outer Hebrides was first to trigger the murderous intent and was found tightly trussed and buried in an earthen oven.

Miss Candy of Llandudno was discovered cooked, stuffed with laver bread and various fishes and wrapped in bacon.

Madam Sugar Barley was discovered on the Isle of Wight in a cromlech and covered in a hardened glaze.

A trail of crumbs is being followed.