I stop at the exit of our lane. Since I had been to the city side and will most probably be going there later, I had made up my mind of exploring the opposite end. From Pongumoodu, it would be Sreekariyam, Karyavattom, and Kazhakootam. There is the option of taking another route that is somewhat parallel to this one. It goes through the College of Engineering, Kulathoor, and joins the bypass near Kazhakootam. Both are good roads. I will select when I reach there.

I decide to take the road in the opposite direction from my usual route to Pongumoodu. This road stretches all the way to join Sreekariyam - Aakulam road. The road becomes a little bad after a few meters. But that was when I moved in here. Recently this road had been tarred to a great finish. Proper road markings and signposts were installed on the edges. The small reflectors are embedded into the sides and the middle of the roads. It has come a long way from the first time I had taken this road to meet her. The road was the only major concern when it comes to coming to our home. With its repair and renewal, it has become nice. It has prompted people living on the premises to walk with confidence. We too have gone out for more walks after it became better. The reason why we sometimes put off our walking was gone.

As the road approaches the main road, it becomes narrower. Just before it joins, there is a tight ninety-degree turn. I guess the authorities were not able to get the people staying on the premises to give up their land for the development of the road. It is very tight. For a car to successfully navigate it without nicking the walls, the driver needs to have a good amount of skill and judgment. I had taken this road once when I was alone. It was really difficult. I took some time to get it right. I did manage to come out without any scratches. The other time she was with me. I had her get down and give me instructions to take the proper turn at the proper angle. I was able to do it in much less time because of her help. She made it crystal clear that we would never take this road no matter what. Two-wheelers wouldn’t have any issues. I sometimes take this road to reach Sreekariyam on my scooter. It is almost the same distance as that of taking the main road.

I turn left and let my scooter roll down the road. The road slopes down for the next hundred meters or so. Houses flank on either side of the road. On taking the first left turn, I am greeted by this huge house with a very modern construction. The first time I saw it, I was really fascinated by it. The fresh design and sharp edges jutting out keep it distinct from the others. I didn’t find it to be occupied. It was late in the evening. Lights had come up in the street as well as the surrounding houses. There weren’t any in this one. Also, the premises gave off a vibe of being unused or inhabited for a while. Maybe the owners are abroad. Or they must be out of the station. A car was lying in the garage, all covered up. This locality has some rich folks residing. The two houses that I come across on my right as soon as I exit my lane and take my usual route are really huge. I think I have already mentioned them.

The simple thing is I am fascinated by houses of all kinds. I love the various ways in which a house can be built. Whenever I see an interesting house, I get this feeling of wanting to know more about it. I want to know what the owner was thinking when he decided to build such a house. I want to know how the architect managed to come up with this design, what motivated him and how he went about it. As much as I am drawn to the big fancy homes, I am equally drawn to the cozy small ones. The thing is the big ones are really fancy and they make their presence felt. The small ones, blend into the surroundings and have a low-key profile. I think it all depends on the mood. Normally the fancy ones appeal to me. But when I am a bit moody, I feel the small ones call out to me. I would be much happier to come across one that is quaint and small. I feel they are more comfortable, warm, and cozy than the big ones.

I say this with the experience of living in my home in our hometown. It is big enough for a family of four. Dad had made it clear this would be the only house he would be building and wanted it to be well built. It is a good house. It has its own charm. But it is big. And sometimes being big means a lot of areas to be kept clean and tidy. Believe me when I say cleaning a big house is a hectic job, one that eats away your entire day. By the time you are done cleaning the house, you are no longer fit to do anything else. I always feel drained whenever I was tasked with the duty of cleaning one of the floors. It would eat up my morning and it would be lunchtime by the time I finish it, all sweaty and exhausted. After lunch you will only find me lying in my bed, sleeping away peacefully. I love an afternoon nap. But this nap is doing more than that. It is restoring the energy I had spent in the morning. I only wake up when it is time for the evening coffee.

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When I see all these houses, I want to design one and build one for myself. I want to be the one that comes up with a kickass design and builds it. These are fantasies to me. I am not an architect first of all. I am an engineer. I might be able to come up with an arbitrary idea of how I want my house to be, a rough sketch of it, and an idea of how the rooms should be laid out. But I will never know the technicalities of it. They are important. I learned it when I was taught civil drawing in my third semester. The walls had a thickness to them. Ten centimeters it was if I am not wrong. They had to be taken into consideration too when calculating the overall dimensions of the house. Then the doors and how they swing. It didn’t have any importance. But having lived in many houses throughout my life and having developed an interest in design and its principles, I have realized even a door placement can be optimized, if required.

It makes me think of how every space in the house can be utilized. I have seen animations of design ideas for children's rooms. Some of them had incorporated bunk beds seamlessly into the room along with cupboards that were hidden under the bed and tables that could be folded, thereby making it quite efficient and spacious.

When our house was being built, I realized a lot of things about space. When the floor plan was laid out and the markings done for each room, I felt as if they were all small. I couldn’t visualize or comprehend the space in my head with a bed and table and chair and cupboard. I was told by the contractors the room was big enough when I raised my concern to them. It didn’t have any relevance but still, I did ask why it felt to be small. They said always feels like that. They told me to wait and see how the space materializes when the exteriors are done and the walls come up. It would take another six months.

They were right. When the walls came up, the room was indeed big enough. It was as if the space had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I always have the same feeling whenever I go to the terrace of an apartment. Take the case of the apartment we currently live in. The terrace is right on top of our apartment and has the same dimensions. We hang our clothes to dry here and so I visit it regularly. Every time I do, I feel as if it is small in comparison to our home. There are all the walls and doors to be taken into consideration and yet the terrace feels small. If I take a few steps, I can easily traverse the longer end of it, which would not be possible in our home. I even try to visualize our apartment in this open space. But I can't. I really can't. I leave it to be as it is and carry on with my work.

This makes me conclude that I wouldn’t have made a good architect. I can't visualize space. Without it how will I come up with good and effective designs?

I envy those who can do it. Those who can visualize stuff and also those who can recall stuff from their memory. Also, those that have a photographic memory can draw things as they see in their head.

I think the problem could be mitigated away if I am to build a small and cozy home. I want it to be small and spacious. I want it to utilize all the space available in the smartest way possible. This has led me to think of the interiors of a house more seriously. Whenever I visit a house nowadays, I always look at how they have utilized the space. If I see some good methods, I keep a mental note of them and ruminate upon how they can be incorporated in a general way and maybe even modified to make them more efficient and effective.

From our house, I have learned how to incorporate cupboards into the room. Also how to accommodate the size of the room if one is considering placing a working table and chair in it. When we start, we might not have much stuff to store. But over the long run, we will surely accumulate things. Space for them should be already considered when you are building a house. No one is going to modify and redo their homes in the coming future. Most of us build a house with the intention to keep it lasting for as long as possible. In any case, space should be accounted for the things that will come in as time passes.

I feel one should be able to visualize the space and try to get a feeling of staying in the house even before it is built. I know it is not practical. It is almost impossible. Only when you start living will you come across the difficulties arising from a lack of proper planning. We mostly plan for our convenience, but we rarely take into account the possible difficulties that can arise from it. We never take a moment to scrutinize it to the lowest level and see how it pans out. I guess when we see our conveniences being fulfilled, we leave it there.

This is where I want to be of use. I want to find them out beforehand and help people realize it and take necessary measures before it manifests. Since you only build once, it is always better to build one that has been thoroughly researched and thought of.

I have a set of things I have earmarked for the house I will build in the future. They ought to make me get the most out of the available space and put it to maximum use. I will share them somewhere. I will write it down in my diary in case I need to refer to it, or someone else does. I suddenly wish for the second one to happen. I wish someone would come and ask me for it.

I guess the loneliness is getting to me slowly. I shake it off and continue on the road.