I think I slept off for some time while I was thinking about life. It happens. Sleep comes all of a sudden like a thief and before you know it, you are asleep. I would have loved to continue with it but it seems I have been woken up by a stupid mosquito. It was buzzing near my ears when I woke up. I tried to kill it with a sweep of my hands. But I think it didn’t do the trick. I can't feel anything in my palms.

Oh, it is not dead. It is back again. I can hear the hum slowly getting louder and louder. It is right above me. I try to peel open my eyes fully. They seem to be hesitant. They want to go back to being shut. That's what even I want. But this mosquito can be a problem. It will make my night a horrible one.

I say this as there are certain things to be considered. Firstly, I don't run the fan at full speed. It runs at a speed just above the lowest level. This is true even for the hottest of all nights. I don't know why but I don't like the fan running at full speed. I guess I feel the wind being thrown from it to be cold. I do feel cold as it hits me throughout the whole night. I can counter this if I pull over my sheet all the way over myself. But I don't like that. I like to cover myself with a sheet or a blanket only till my neck. That is the second factor. If I could cover it completely I could get a bit of respite from the mosquito. I have tried this earlier. But the sad truth is you still will be able to hear the hum. You are safe from its bite though. But that is not the problem. It is the hum that is the most irritating thing.

I swing my hand above me in the direction in which I feel it is. the sound dies away. I rub my palms to feel any residue of it. There is nothing in it. It has taken cover. It will be back soon.

I am still sleepy. I must say I have forgotten for these few minutes what has transpired over the day. I say this because as I think of whether I should stay awake for a while and see if the mosquito comes back to suck out my blood, the day's proceedings slowly come back to me.

Firstly it is the absence of her beside me in the bed. It requires only a microsecond to realize that her night duty was the day before yesterday and is over. It is then my recent memory kicks in and summarises the day for me.

I hear a small hum. I wait for it to grow, but it doesn't. This is going on like a match. I get up from the bed and switch on the light. I am blinded for the few seconds it takes for my eyes to get adjusted to the light. There is an untold lethargy in my body. It feels weak. Well, it should be. It was resting and trying to get ready for the next day. But here I am, having woken up in the middle of the night with nothing much to do except kill a mosquito.

One thing I have noticed is these kinds of nights happen only in her absence. Is it the universe telling me not to sleep cause she is not there with me? Or is it because she is busy attending to the sick patients in her department and in a way I am giving her company of sorts? I really don't know. But yes, without her, I always feel an absence.

I sometimes ponder on the thought of how a person can be so big a part of our life in such a short span. I met her in a very arranged and formal setting. From there we got to know each other and figured out we could be great together. Our small love story bloomed from that point onwards. It has nothing special in it. A simple story.

There it is - the mosquito. I have spotted it finally. It doesn’t look to be a fat, filled one. It is nimble. I swoop my hand in its direction and clutch my fist. I haven’t caught it. It has flown away. It is flying to the ceiling and into the empty boxes that are stashed away in the overhead ledge. I will wait for it.

Meanwhile, I pick up my phone and have a look at it. The networks remain dead. I take the walkie-talkie and crank up the volume. The low hum of the static comes out of it. It has a small similarity to the hum of the mosquito. I lower the volume and cycle through the channels. Nothing new. I press the push-to-talk button and say a couple of hellos. I wish it reaches someone.

I go back to lying in the bed. I face the ceiling and focus my vision on it. I am looking out for any kind of small motion from the mosquito. I need to kill it to have a proper sleep. I will wait for it.

Back in my workplace, there were nights in which I had to stay back on the site and look after the work. Some projects required us to stay back and supervise the night's proceedings. They were mainly for projects that were super costly and had strict deadlines. The only option was to work around the clock. Although the majority of the work would happen in the daytime, a part of it would be kept aside for the night. It would be carefully planned in such a way that the work being done at night was safe under the diminished lighting conditions. Safety is paramount. There cannot be any compromise on the lighting or any other factor that can lead to an accident. Thankfully I haven't had any kind of misfortune in this regard. I have managed to get the work done while ensuring the safety of the crew and the equipment involved.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

Sometimes I do wonder why people do night shifts. I have gone on to think of a world where everyone slept at night. By twelve or one everyone called it a night and hit the beds. I realized this is not possible. There are a lot of essential services running round the clock. They need supervision and all kind of support throughout the day. Just because it is night doesn’t mean they can be kept aside or not given due diligence.

The electricity we have throughout the day is being monitored and controlled at night by various engineers in all the power plants throughout the world. Then there are the people working in the power grids and the local power stations up to the last point after which it reaches the consumer.

Similar is the case with a lot of things. Take transportation for instance. Flights, trains, buses, trucks, and lorries that ply at night do that for a reason. A valid reason. Hospitals are another establishment. Likewise, we can come up with a lot of places that have their services going on twenty-four-seven.

The conclusion is simple and straightforward forward - night shifts are essential. Without them, it would be hard to run this world. How should these night shifts go about is a totally different matter. I genuinely feel it should be debated because in night shifts our bodies don't function the way they should. We are putting it out of its normal circadian cycle. It not only impacts us in the short term with a loss of sleep and other stuff, but it also leaves a lasting effect on us that creeps up on us during our later years. A whole committee or an expert panel should be set up from around the world comprising people from all kinds of professions to come and bring out guidelines for working night shifts. Maybe it might be taxing for the companies involved. They wouldn’t like it. But if it is good for their employees then why not? Lesser profit for the better holistic health of their workers isn’t too much to ask for.

The mosquito is nowhere to be seen for the past few minutes. I get out of bed and look all around me from where I stand. I can't see it. Bloody mosquito. It will come down to haunt me the moment I turn off the light and go to bed. I take a few seconds to get a grip on the situation I am in and try to formulate a solution for it. I got one. This should do the trick.

I crumple up the bedsheet from the bed and tuck it under my arm. I walk to where I have kept the phone and pick it up along with the walkie-talkie. The water bottle can remain here. I head to the door. As I get out of the room I switch off the light and close the door. That mosquito will not disturb me anymore. Now I just pray that there ain't another one in the room I am going to.

I decide to go to the bedroom with the TV. As I pass the hall and into the room, I find myself staring into the emptiness that surrounds the hall. Intermixed with the darkness and silence, the emptiness suddenly sends a shiver down my spine. I stand still in my tracks. I slowly walk towards the room and open the door. There is a slight brightness in the room. The windows are open and the little bit of light that makes the darkness feel less daunting is seeping in from these windows. I walk all the way to the table next to the head of the bed and keep the phone and walkie-talkie on top of it. I throw the bedsheet onto the bed.

Apart from the two pillows that came with the bed, there are two cushions also. She had bought it when she went shopping in one of the newly opened shops in the mall that solely catered to home decor and stuff like that. It is super soft and really a pleasure to hug. The moment she saw it, she said she hugged it and her face lighted up for a second after which it settled down into a soothing calm state. She had achieved a sort of blissful state, zen. Two of them were added to the cart right away. I came across it when I came back from my work. She was really excited to show it to me when she described it to me over the phone when I was at work. She hadn’t shared the photos though. She wanted to keep it a secret from me. When I came home, it was one of the first things she showed me. She brought it from the room and thrust it into my hands. I hugged it. Yes, it was really soft and squishy.

But I am not a pillow person. I stopped using a pillow at a very young age. It has stuck with me. I do use it to support my back or while watching something on the TV - the times when I need back support. Other than that, I hug it while I try to fall asleep. These are the primary uses of the pillow in my bed. And because of this I only fall asleep more comfortably in a plain bed. If there is anything under it, I remove it. Even that irritates me.

I think it is one reason why I can't fall asleep when I am in her arms or on her chest. I mean I do feel all peaceful and safe and calm and serene. But I do find it difficult to fall asleep. I am not saying I haven't. I have. But then I shuffle out from it at some point in time. That is true for any way I sleep with her. I shuffle out and probably end up being by myself.

I am finding comfort in all of these nowadays. I know that I am slowly - one day at a time - adapting myself to this life that comprises us. Thinking of this, I find myself feeling even lonelier, along with these soft cushions in the bed that remind me of her. This whole place reminds me of her. It will wreck me emotionally. But it is here that I will find the strength required to go on. She is my strength, my drive. Without her, life would have been very different. I choose this. And I will stick to it till my last breath.