***** Vol.2 Chap.29 Tragedy struck again *****
After arriving in Shanghai, they first visited his parent’s house, because he could not wait to tell his parents. Of course, his parents were delighted that she agreed. Then Haw-Ting half walking half skipping together with her to Grandpa Chen’s place to ask for his permission to marry her. Along the way, he was considering what to say and how to say to him. Mr. Chen was a close friend of the family and knew Haw-Ting and his family well for many years. Still, he was a little apprehensive and was rather quiet as they were walking to her home.
As they approached her home, she did not see her grandpa sitting on the veranda. She knew he loved to sit there in the shade and enjoy the fresh air.
“I hope Grandpapa is home,” she said to him.
“We will see.”
Excited, the two bounced up the stairs.
“Grandpapa, Grandpapa,” she started shouting to him as they got to the fifth floor.
There was no answer.
“Grandpapa, I am home.” She shouted through the door as she knocked.
“He must be out shopping.” Haw-Ting said.
“Not at this time of the day,” she said as she looked at her watch.
“Do you have a key?”
“Yes.” May-Ling fumbled around the things in her purse, looking for the key. “Here it is. We will go in and wait for him to come back.”
“OK.”
As soon as they opened the door, a horrible stench in the house assaulted their senses.
“Phew.” Haw-Ting said. “Let me open the windows.”
She entered and immediately sensed that something was wrong. The dishes in the kitchen were not washed. There were plates with food on it, still on the dining table. Swarms of flies were gathered around the food. This was not like her grandpa to leave food out on the table like this.
“Haw-Ting, something is wrong.”
“May-Ling, is that your grandpa sleeping on the bed over there?”
She turned around and saw that her grandpa was sleeping soundly on the bed.
“Shh. Would you help me clean up the kitchen?”
“Coming.”
They cleaned up the kitchen in no time.
“Haw-Ting, I don’t think my grandpa has moved at all.”
Haw-Ting approached closer to investigate.
“May-Ling, I can’t feel his breathing!”
“Any pulse?”
“No pulse either!”
The news came as a shock to her. She dropped the plate that she was holding. The plate fell to the ground, shattering into thousands of pieces. But the noise did not wake her grandpa up. Suddenly, she felt a little lightheaded and had to steady herself on the chair.
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“We should notify the authorities and take care of your grandpa quickly during this holiday.” Haw-Ting was always the practical one between the two. He looked over at her; she was as white as a bedsheet.
“Are you alright?”
“No, I am not.” She sat down on the chair and broke down and cried. The roller coaster ride for her emotions proved too much for her. Haw-Ting sat next to her. She reached out and gripped his hands.
After a good hour had passed; she was still sobbing uncontrollably. He quietly got up and told her he had to go back to the restaurant and used the telephone there to call the hospital. He told her to sit there and wait for him to return. She nodded.
He flew out of the apartment and ran all the way to the restaurant. He called up the nearby hospital and informed them about Grandpa Chen and asked them to come and pick up the body. Then he informed his parents about Grandpa Chen and solicited their help in taking care of the funeral arrangements. Since he had no other relatives and was survived only by May-Ling, and seeing that he was their friend and neighbor for many years, Haw-Ting’s father readily accepted the responsibility of taking care of the arrangements. Mrs. Tsai, Haw-Ting’s mother, however, was less than reluctant to do anything.
“This is an ill omen, I say.” She kept saying. “To hear the news of death right after the news about marriage. This is terrible.”
While Haw-Ting, like an obedient son, heard all that, he brushed off what she was saying because he deeply cared for May-Ling.
“We need to call off the wedding.” Mrs. Tsai continued.
“We have not set a date yet,” Haw-Ting reminded her.
“Let us wait till we have taken care of Mr. Chen first.” Mr. Tsai came to the rescue.
A few days later, they have a simple funeral service. Mr. Tsai stood up to say a few words about Mr. Chen praising him for being a good neighbor and friend. A few neighbors also said similar things.
As May-Ling sat there listening to the eulogy, she could not help but flash back in her memory at her own parents’ funeral service and procession. Again, she broke down and cried. Haw-Ting had been her only comfort these few days. He always stayed at her side. More than once, she leaned on him, and every time he was there to support her. He clasped her hand and gently told her that everything would be alright. He reassured her he would never leave her.
At the end of the funeral service, the musicians played a long dirge in honor of her grandpa. Every note, every bar, every vibrato tugged at her heart, draining away any emotions that were left in her. Each drawn out note seemed to draw her out more and more. Each bar reminded her of her loss and her sadness. She felt extremely lonely. She experienced a sense of extreme isolation. Most of all, she was aware of her own mortality. The dirge went on and on; correspondingly, she sank further and further into the ground. No, she sank below the ground into a big hole with no daylight and no way to climb out. She was still sinking, sinking.
Why? Why? Why? Why was everything that she ever treasured now taken away from her? She searched for an answer, but none came. She had been bereaved of all her immediate family. What had I done in past lives that was so terrible? I tried to be good all these years. I tried to obey my parents. I tried to obey my Grandpapa. I had never thought evil of them. It was true that there were a few schoolmates that I did not like. They were always provoking me and teasing me. I stole nothing. I robbed nobody. Why? Why? Why?
“I am here, May-Ling.” Haw-Ting said gently.
A voice from a far off echoed in her ears.
“Are you alright?” Haw-Ting continued.
A familiar voice. A welcomed voice. She got brought back into the present. She turned to look at Haw-Ting, searching for comfort and companionship.
But deep inside, the turmoil still festered. Her guilt had turned into condemnation. For a long while, she blamed herself. It was all her fault. This was a punishment for whatever improper things she had done in her youth. But she did not know what had she done that deserved such severe retribution. She was totally in confusion and denial and could not accept what had happened. She wanted to end her own life, as she saw no purpose in her living. There was nothing more to live for. She had been stripped of her life’s purpose and even her very essence of life.
“May-Ling, I am here.” Another gentle voice.
I don’t care.
A gentle pat on her hands.
Leave me alone.
“Here is a tissue paper.”
Go away. No! I didn’t mean that. Stay, please!
Silence.
Promise me you will finish my work…
“I promise, papa. I promise.” She replied silently though hesitantly.
Promise me you will finish my work…
“I promise, papa. I promise.”
Despair.
“May-Ling, it is time to go.” Another gentle voice.
She looked up and saw Haw-Ting gently caressing her hands.
She nodded and stood up unsteadily.
Haw-Ting helped her limp unsteadily to the door. They received the box containing her Grandpapa’s ashes. Slowly and with utmost tenderness, he helped her go back to her apartment to pick up whatever was left in the house.
Few things left in the apartment were worth saving. As they were in the apartment, a few neighbors dropped by and they gave away everything as much as possible. As she was packing her clothes, her parent’s journal jumped out at her again. She had not opened it for quite a while now. She caressed the journal and kept it with the rest of her things.