Chapter Five - Professionalism

“The importance of Samurai in our modern society cannot be overstated. In the 1900s there was a surge of popularity centered around celebrities, especially in the West. Movie stars, musicians, sports stars. They became the idols of their generations, faces and names known to all.

After the initial incursions, some attention turned to the Samurai who had, seemingly, saved us all.

That attention turned to idolization as the full scope of what they could do became known.

That is why it is imperative Nimbletainment continues to be the predominant holder of the image rights of Samurai across North America.”

--Nimbletainment CEO during a company-wide brief. 2037

***

“So,” I said. “How?”

“What?” Deus Ex asked.

I gestured to the television where Katallina’s face was still displayed. “You want me to find that girl, right? How?”

Deus shrugged. “I don’t know. You figure it out. It’ll be like a test or something.”

“Or something,” I repeated, deadpan. I gave her my flattest look. “You’re real professional, aren’t you?”

The girl bristled at that, sitting straighter in her seat and glaring right back at me before her face twisted to neutrality. “Fine,” she said. “If you need someone to baby you, I can take some of my precious time to help you.”

I snorted. Maybe that would have tweaked the pride of someone who hadn’t had my stellar upbringing, but it did nothing for me. The kittens regularly came up with better insults. “So how do you expect me to find her? Better yet, how would you do it?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll give you a packet with her info.” The moment she said that, I got a ping in my vision, an email.

I blinked a few times to open it, then noticed that I had five digits worth of unread emails. “Damn, how come my email hasn’t blown up yet?” It was a good thing I was using one of the free email services. Some charged a fee for every email. Those usually had all sorts of encryptions and stuff, and they claimed not to sell your messages to advertisers, but I never got anything important enough to warrant that.

I might have had something to do with that. You receive a lot of spam. And viruses. Also, images of genitals. The news that you’ve become a Vanguard isn’t widely circulated yet, but some people have connected the dots.

I winced. “Just delete all the nasty ones... well, keep the nudes if they’re tasteful.”

No.

The afternoon was turning really sour, especially compared to the morning. I opened Deus Ex’s email, then stared at an image of Deus Ex giving me the finger before a plain background. “Uh.”

Oh. The information is all in the image. It’s stored in the image’s pixelation, with different colour values representing different bits in hex. The sequence to read these is randomized with the code to decipher the randomization written as a multiplication of the image’s resolution. Once the actual code is parsed, you need only de-encrypt it. It’s a bit simple, and I’ve no doubt that even some humans could figure it out given a few hours, but for non-sensitive information it will do.

“Uh,” I said.

“You know, talking to your AI out loud is generally a sign that you’re really new,” Deus Ex said.

“That might be because I am new,” I said. “Besides, it’s impossible to snark through text.”

Deus Ex placed her hands on her knees and got to her feet. “Right. Well, that package has everything we could trawl on Katallina in a few minutes. It’s got her last known location too. I’d start there. Ask your AI for help, it’s definitely smarter than you are.”

I wasn’t going to argue with that one.

“Cat?”

Both of us turned towards the kitchen to see Lucy walking over. She was a bit bow-legged, and had a hand trailing against the wall to keep her balance. She was wearing a nice set of silken pyjamas, no doubt stolen from a drawer somewhere.

“Hey Lucy,” I said. “Wanna come over and sit?”

“Ah, yeah, sure,” she said. “My legs are still wobbly.”

“Disgusting,” Deus Ex muttered.

I wanted to give her shit for being rude, but with Lucy’s MS being cured and all, there were only so many possible reasons for her to feel wobbly and Deus was probably thinking the right thing.

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“Who’s this cute little girl?” Lucy asked as she came closer.

Deus Ex’s face registered her disdain for the comment clear as day. “I’m Deus Ex,” she said.

“That’s a very cute name,” Lucy said. “Did you pick it out yourself?”

If I hadn’t known Lucy for as long as I did, I would probably assume that she was being genuine, but I knew that slight shift in her voice too well. She was messing with Deus Ex.

“Right, I’m done here,” Deus Ex said. “Stray Cat, try to find the girl. She might be dead, or she might be in trouble with some corp or the government. If she’s fine, then... just don’t be yourself around her. Maybe give her my number? And if she’s in trouble...”

“Get her out?” I asked. “Or call for help?”

“Nah, just kill anyone causing issues. If it’s to protect a new Samurai, then it’s justified.”

I had to wonder what kind of headspace someone like Deus Ex was in if she thought killing people to get things done was just business as usual. “Right,” I said. “And when do you want me to start this... wait, I didn’t agree to start this at all.”

“I’m paying for the rent for this floor,” Deus said. “Unless you want to pay for it yourself, and that probably includes some decontamination for wherever you... urgh, then you can start right away. Have your AI text me if you need anything.”

“Bye bye!” Lucy said with a little wave as Deus Ex walked past.

The girl just marched her way on out of the room without so much as a second glance. “Call me when you find her!” she said before leaving.

“She’s a weird one,” I said.

Lucy hummed as she made her way around the couch. She took a moment to look at all the available seats, then she picked the one she liked most.

I exhaled hard as she plopped herself down onto my lap. “Are you comfy?” I asked.

She wiggled a bit, then leaned back and tucked her head against mine. “Yup.”

Grinning, I pulled her in with a hug and just took a moment to luxuriate in the warmth and the softness of her stolen pyjamas. “I need to ask Myalis a couple of things,” I said.

“Ohh, I’ll only get to hear half the conversation then,” Lucy said.

“I guess so.”

That is easily remedied. One moment.

I wondered what she was up to, then Dumbass the First skittered its way into the livingroom and hopped onto one of the sofas. It wiggled around to face us, then lowered itself down. “Greetings,” the drone said in Myalis’ voice. It was a little strange hearing her out loud.

“Hi Myalis!” Lucy said with a wave.

“I’m still physically within Catherine’s skull, I’m merely using the drone as a mouthpiece,” Myalis explained. “Nonetheless, it’s a pleasure to speak with you through a more reliable method than Catherine’s abysmal communication skills.”

“Hey!”

‘She is really bad sometimes,” Lucy agreed. “It’s all threats, and cute little grunts.”

“H-hey!” this time my ire was directed at the girl on my lap.

Myalis bobbed up and down.

“You’re both awful,” I said. Then Lucy gave me a conciliatory peck on the cheek and I settled in to just pouting until they stopped teasing me.

“This mission, if we can call it that, is rather simple in its objective, but I suspect that carrying it out will be a great deal more complicated,” Myalis said. “Evidence of Katalina's disappearance will be time sensitive. Tracking her down might also be difficult.”

“So you’re saying we should head out sooner rather than later?” I asked.

“Essentially, yes.”

I really didn’t want to leave. I was comfortable, with Lucy’s bony behind digging into my thighs and my arms wrapped around her waist. Leaving was the last thing I wanted to do.

“Who’s Katallina?” Lucy asked.

“She’s a girl that went missing. She might be a Samurai, maybe. Deus Ex wants me to track her down, make sure she’s alright,” I explained.

“Oh. That does sound kind of important,” Lucy said.

“Mmm, I guess.” I sank into Lucy a bit. “I should probably take off. The faster I find this girl the sooner I can return.”

Lucy pressed a kiss on my cheek. “I’ll be waiting here,” she said.

I smiled. “I know. I’ll leave the Dumbasses here, to keep an eye on the kittens.”

“That would be nice. I bet Myalis is a great babysitter.”

“I regret informing you of my ability to communicate,” Myalis said.

***