image [https://i.ibb.co/5RZBS09/120wip.jpg]

Before Proboscis the Chief of the Nostril Goblins could react to Chunks calling his daughters snotty, a squat fellow with a kind face entered the room. The chief introduced Chunks to nostril goblin miner Snout Q. Dangler.

"What's blowin’, boss?" asked Snout, winking nineteen times at the nineteen ladies, who turned up their noses.

The chief told the goblin that his joke had not been understood by the feetniks, who had become so angry that they had declared war. So the only way to avoid a terrible battle was to explain the joke so they could understand it.

"All right," replied Snout, who seemed a good-natured nostril goblin; "I'll go at once to the fence and explain. I don't want any war with the feetniks, for wars between nations always cause hard feelings."

Proboscis and Snout and Chunks left the chief’s booger shack and went back to the picket fence. The Ratsack Golem was still stuck on the top of his picket but had now ceased to struggle, and his rats seemed to be asleep.

"Ahoy-ahoy, Ratsack!" yelled Chunks.

"Ahoy-ahoy back to you, Chunks!" answered the sack of rats.

On the other side of the fence were Elvira Daisy Shingles, her humanoid pal Montana, and and their new friend Soda Olheiser looking between the pickets; and there, also, were Hep Hopcat and many other feetniks.

Snout went close to the fence and said:

"My good feetniks, I wish to explain that what I said about you was a joke. You have but one leg each, and we have two legs each. Our legs are under us, whether one or two, and we stand on them. So, when I said you had less understanding than we, I did not mean that you had less understanding, you understand, but that you had less standundering, so to speak. Do you understand that?"

The feetniks thought it over carefully. Then one said:

"I pick up what you’re laying down, Daddy-O, but where does the joke come in?"

"I'll tell you where the joke comes in," Montana said, and took the feetniks away to a distance, where the nostril goblins could not hear them. "You know," she then explained, "those neighbors of yours are not very bright, poor things, and what they think is a joke isn't a joke at all- it's true, don't you see?"

"True that we have less understanding?" asked Hep.

"Yes; it's true because you don't understand such a poor joke; if you did, you'd be no wiser than they are."

"Ah, yes; of course," they answered, looking very wise.

"So I'll tell you what to do," continued the vice-tremorroid. "Laugh at their poor joke and tell 'em it's pretty good for a nostril goblin. Then they won't dare say you have less understanding, because you understand as much as they do."

The feetniks looked at one another questioningly and blinked their eyes and tried to think what it all meant; but they couldn't figure it out.

"What do you think, Hopcat?" asked one of them.

"I think it is koo-koo to think of this thing any more than we can have to," he replied. "Let us do as this lady says and laugh with the squares, so as to make them believe we see the joke. Then there will be peace again and no need to fight and we can get back to our poetry slams and independent film festivals."

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They readily agreed to this and returned to the fence laughing as loud and as hard as they could, although they didn't feel like laughing a bit. The nostril goblins were much surprised.

"That's a fine joke- for a nostril goblin- and we are much pleased with it," said Hep Hopcat, speaking between the pickets. "But please don't do it again."

"I won't," promised Snout. "If I think of another such joke I'll try to forget it."

"Good!" cried Proboscis the Chief Nostril Goblin. "The war is over and peace is declared."

“Now back to our search for kicks that will never come,” whispered Hep Hopcat.

There was much joyful shouting on the goblin side of the fence. All the feetniks snapped their fingers repeatedly as a form of applause. The fence gate was unlocked and thrown wide open, so that Chunks was able to rejoin her friends.

"What about Ratsack?" Chunks asked Montana the Vice-Tremorroid of Bonertania.

"We must get him down, somehow or other," was the reply. Snout said:

"A ladder's the thing."

"Have you one?" asked Soda.

"To be sure. We use ladders in our mines," said he. Then he ran away to get the ladder, and while he was gone the nostril goblins gathered around and welcomed the strangers to their country, for through them a great war had been avoided.

In a little while Snout came back with a tall ladder which he placed against the fence. Chunks climbed up and retrieved the sack full of squirming rodents. As soon as he was on his feet and standing on solid ground the Ratsack Golem said:

"Much obliged. I feel much better. Is there much of a hole in my sack?"

Soda examined him carefully.

"There's a bit of a hole," she said. A rat had fit almost their entire head through it and gotten stuck. It whimpered sadly. "But I've got a needle and twine in my backpack and I'll sew you up again."

"Do so," he begged earnestly, and the nostril goblins roared in moist laughter at his inadvertent pun, to the sack of rat's great annoyance.

While Soda was mending the hole in the sack man's back Chunks examined the other parts of him for rips or tears. Montana fed Vira some “Salty Booger Biscuits” which Proboscis assured her were not actually made of salty boogers and were only salty booger flavored.

Soda asked the chief: "Is there a dark diarrhea well in any part of your country?"

"A dark diarrhea well? None that ever I heard of," was the answer.

"Oh, yes, there is!" said Snout Q. Dangler, who overheard the girl’s question. "There's a very dark well down in my mine."

"Is there diarrhea in it?" Soda eagerly asked.

"Oh, yeah. No picnic being around a diarrhea well when you’ve got one-hundred-and-twenty-seven nostrils. Only thing that stinks worse than a feetnik foot."

So, as soon as the Ratsack Golem was mended, they decided to go with Snout to the mine. Snout led them to a hole and they all squeezed in. They found themselves traveling through a maze-like series of tunnels which were dimly lighted by the tiny green nuggets of plutonium that lay scattered among the loose rocks.

"Now," said Snout, "I will show you where the dark well is. Here, put on these night vision goggles.” There was a basket full of goggles, including a cute pair small enough to fit Vira. “This is a big place, but if we hold fast to each other we won't get lost."

Montana picked up Vira and everybody held hands as the nostril goblin led them into a small chamber which had had all of its glowing plutonium removed. He led them to a dark, mephitic corner, where he halted.

"Be careful," said he warningly. "The diarrhea well is at your feet."

"All right," replied Soda, and kneeling down she held her nose with one hand and felt in the well with the other and found that it contained a quantity of thick warm liquidy diarrhea. “Where’s the container, Miss Shingles?" she asked, and the vice-tremorroid reached into her backpack and pulled out a gold flask.

"Here it is. And you can call me ‘Mono’," said Montana.

"Thank you… Mono," Soda said.

Soda knelt again and by feeling carefully in the dark managed to fill the flask with the unseen diarrhea that was in the well. Then she screwed the top of the flask firmly in place. Then she wiped the flask and her hands off with one of Snout’s light blue handkerchiefs. She went to hand it back to him.

“Keep it,” said Snout.

They went back through the maze of tunnels and returned to the mouth of the mine. Soda was very happy when she stood in they reached Schnozzle Town and realized that the diarrhea from the dark well, which she and her friends had traveled so far to secure, was safe in her backpack. Then Snout let out a huge sneeze that sprayed two gallons of snot all over her back.

image [https://i.ibb.co/3SCK1R0/120small.jpg]