Book 2: Dirt Diver’s Dance
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go Ch: 33
Endless, heedless nothing stretched on to the end of everything, somewhen, overwhere; ‘expressed’ as a fundamental lack of being, beginning or ending, only the void existed. In a kinda-sorta way.
With a subtle shimmy in the perpetual nothingness, a group of beings appeared, strung on a cord of silk, like a string of beautiful pearls dropped into a velvet bag.
Where sentients looked, wonders and horrors appeared; transient images and flickerings of long forgotten dreams and nightmares, flitting through the very edges of mortal perception.
Mortal senses were not intended to gaze between worlds and the unprepared could face perils derived from their own fears and nightmares.
Such things had no substance, but could cause a panicked traveller to lose their way in the trackless never, where physical matter can only exist in the narrow passages between worlds. Those who strayed off the path seldom returned… and never returned whole; in either mind or body.
In the almost instantaneous shift between ‘reality’ and the eternal void, ‘things’ like time, matter, space and energy ceased to truly exist on some fundamental levels. One mortal soul, in the center of the group was no softly glowing pearl on a silken cord; it glinted and glittered harshly in the non light of the void. Scintillating, brilliant beams of invisible light shot out in all directions from the figure, invisible to mortal eyes and senses, while piercing the eternal darkness.
What remained of Gary’s shattered, broken, barely sane and normal mortal brain shrieked a soft, animal cry of distress, somewhere in the back of his skull. As his tattered edges began to fray and disperse into the everywhen and anywhere all around, it scrambled for some sense of solidity and found some, or at least the illusion of safety.
With an effort of Will, he slowly drew his Animus out and expanded it, instinctively reaching for a way to soothe his insistent fascination and almost irresistible desire to gaze into nothing for eternity, or until the end of everything came around to sweep him away.
After a moment that wasn’t exactly what anyone would call ‘time’ passed silently, lost in the endless, soothing dark, Gary backed away from the abyss, compressing his vastly scattered essence close around the little group of softly glowing forms surrounding him.
As he withdrew back inside himself fully, wrapping his body around his soul like a comfy old robe, he found a subtle and disturbing elasticity, a sense of malleability in the non-space that made his eyes ache.
At the head of the line, Dannyl strode confidently through the void, pretending to be unconcerned by the firm stone walls and a smooth cave floor, spontaneously manifesting from the ether as he walked. In the space between, anything at all could appear… and of all the manifestations he’d experienced in his travels, this was super nice. Only he could see where the tunnel began… or ended, in eye watering nothingness ‘far’ ahead.
At the tail of the line, Tallum worked really hard to ignore the fact that the cave they walked through vanished away as they passed, always ending just a half dozen steps behind his own boot heels in a silent, swirling blackness that was way too spooky to be simple darkness.
After years living around Gary and his kids, the big man had developed a keen sense for the eldritch, creepy and occult. This weird tunnel was all three and plenty more things he was trying to avoid considering. That was when his sister’s fool started up a tune, dispelling the gloomy mood and sinister aura of the place.
His mad brother-in-law’s joyous whistle cut the darkness before them, gently easing their passage through what wasn’t, but could possibly, absolutely be anything, should enough Will be applied to the issue.
A few timeless bars of sweet music later, sunlight appeared, followed by a fresh sea breeze. The granite cave slowly became volcanic tufa stone around them and stopped disappearing so uncannily behind their feet.
Everyone noticed when their boots started crunching on real, honest rocks, gravel and grit, back in something resembling a real world. Sunset streamed bright golden light through the cave entrance, encouraging the Adventurers to keep moving forward.
Gary stopped on the lip of the cavern, breathing deep and looking out over the sparkling, tropical sea before them and the small island, with its flat, desolate plain of mine waste.
“I love it Shai… it’s everything you promised!” He gasped happily. “I’m really out of gas though…” He mumbled.
“I kinda overextended myself just a little.”
“Aye, it is… now sit down, ‘ere you fall down, ye look fit to pass out on your feet…” She began, just as he slowly slipped to the stoney floor of the cave mouth.
“Uncle Liam… Could Audrey please carry our dad down the mountain. He’s gone to sleep again.” Larry called up to the front of the line. With skill born of long practice, the lad checked his father’s vitals and measured his Mana and Stamina pools with a monocle device Harry had developed for the task. “His pools are refilling nicely and trousers are dry, so we’re all good!”
Barry’s hand found Lindsey’s clasping and engulfing her fingers in a warm, soothing embrace.
“Because pops was forcibly deranked from the edge of bronze, all the way down to unranked; my dad is always walking a tightrope with his Mana and Stamina.” Barry explained, while the man was slowly wrapped in a cocoon of vines and gently engulfed into one of the enormous snapdragon blooms.
“All but one of his attributes, as well as all of his skills and gifts are at the upper end of copper rank; while his Mana and Stamina are at the maximum for a mundane, unranked human. If he uses any gift or skill with a cost in Mana or Stamina, he immediately runs out of both and crashes hard.” Barry frowned and sighed at the bright blue sky above.
“All the things he wants to do; whether crafts, magery, martial arts or even playing a country dance tune around the campfire is always just out of his reach. It’s the worst kind of curse, because a person’s gifts touch every aspect of their soul.” The big lad leaned back and whistled a short snatch of the marching song his father had been whistling, just a short time before.
“So even if his divine curses don’t reach in these strange places… He still can’t access his gifts, or even exert himself physically, in any meaningful way.” Lindsey offered quietly, when Barry’s tune paused.
“When the three lost divines vanished, so many people found themselves in that position… No effective treatment was ever found; only replacing the void in the afflicted soul with a new Contract gave any relief. Even then, recovery was often arduous.”
“Yeah, I suppose so.” Barry nodded soberly, holding her hand while she steadied herself on Flash’s training saddle and blinked in the bright sunshine. “Let’s get on flat ground, Flash could use a run, I think.”
Barry’s subject change was a little hamfisted but the poor horse was skittish and over excited already. Flash kept staring at the wide, sandy beach surrounding most of the island and prancing in place, giving off excited little whickers every few seconds.
At the foot of the volcano, the group fanned out, awaiting instruction from the count. “We swept this island for danger, but the jungle and mangrove swamp are still pretty much unexplored.” Liam announced, while the family tuned their instruments and prepared to set up for the evening on that same patch of gravely wasteland. “Treat this as hostile territory, remain armed and alert, move in groups of three outside the compound and watch for trouble.” The count’s orders were firm, direct and completely by the book, just like the man himself.
Starting from the site of their previous camp and the wide circle of changed earth left behind, they began the ritual, so familiar, but still so mysterious. Shai took the lead, as usual, drawing her husband’s gifts out into the world with gentle and careful arts.
Her violin, bells and dancing feet wove in and around his guitar, directing his gifts with her own in a subtle interplay even the two main participants didn’t understand.
One by one Becky and the kids fell in, adding their own gifts and magical essences to the unique spell and its impossible conjurations, forging shadow and mist into solid forms and something like reality.
Halfway through a reggae tinged performance of ‘Don’t Fence Me In’, Gary’s distinctive Will and Animus began to swirl and spread out, taking an active role in expanding the scope of the working, gently but surely.
Shai’s eyes opened wide in surprise, with concern following soon after, though she didn’t drop the melody. “Are ye sure, Lad? I would nae have thee weakened and ill tonight.” She demanded gently, as her dancing hips swayed past the smiling fool.
“Yeah babe, it feels right. I can dig a little deeper here. Let’s take it back around with ‘Island In The Sun’... Harry Bellafonte needs some fresh air.”
Rio picked up the hint and his beloved bongos began to whisper a name into the ether, calling forth a shade from times long gone. Within a few bars, a tall, smiling spirit stepped out of Rio’s shadow, taking an elaborate, almost mocking stretch, before bowing to the gathered players and joining the song with his rich, mellow voice; singing a calypso jazz classic from a world too far away to feel real.
When the work was done, the family inn and the little hamlet of smaller homes finally appeared on the wasteland; though, the garden now encompassed the entire mine waste field.
No sign of the rubble and stone tailings remained visible; from the mangroves, to the lagoon and the edge of the abandoned town it had all been engulfed in the ritual conjuration.
Stolen novel; please report.
The houses and inns stood by the lagoon, on a small rise, overlooking the pier where Moonrise, Seahorse and MissAdventure all bobbed gently on the tiny wavelets. All around that idyllic scene, the manicured lawns, fruit orchards and garden beds spread out in tranquil domestic bliss.
“Oof!” Gary sat down with a tired grunt and smiled widely. “That hit in some weird ways…” He groaned softly from a garden bench beside a tall plum tree, richly laden with purple fruit. “Do you guys feel that?”
“Feel what?” Becky asked softly, while Frankie and Shai checked the sagging musician over.
“Something under our feet… something buried in all the rock and sand.” He mumbled as he slowly began to slump down and dribble onto the lawn, basking peacefully in the evening sunshine.
“What do you mean, Gary?” Becky asked gently, prodding him with a slender, dark fingertip and getting no response. “Drat, he’s out! Any idea what he meant, Shai?”
“Fie! We’ll ask later, ‘tis no use now. Let him rest.” She grumbled, despite the smile on her lips, amused by the way her husband was sprawled out on the lawn in the fading sunlight.
She vanished away all but his boxer shorts with a wave of her hand, storing his gear away in his own gifts while he snored, face down on the grass.
“Let him bask in the sunset, little sister… He’ll need exercising when he wakes, methinks.” The giantess murmured happily. “Sir Kermal, give my husband a good thrashing when he stirs, if ye please. We’re fer taking the kids on a run, before dinner.”
The tall, red haired dynamo gathered her brood and their companions, sweeping Liam and Dannyl up in her net as well. Only the two designated Gary minders and the lucky duo on cooking duty escaped her exhausting calisthenics and sand sprints.
The sun would be fully set and dinner on the table, before any of those poor souls found a moment’s rest.
Becky and Kermal settled down on Gary’s cosy and now vacant bench beneath the plum tree. They leaned on each other and relaxed, while Tallum and Ivy worked on dinner, just a few yards away in the kitchen of the main house.
“How did we even wind up all together, on some other world?” Tallum asked Ivy, loudly enough to include the pair in the garden watching over the sleeper, through the open kitchen window.
“There’s no telling… with all the weirdness lately and that divine testicle just hanging out there.” Becky sighed, watching the kids and Shai run with the familiars on the sandy beach at sunset.
“Testi what?!” Ivy and Tallum asked in perfect harmony.
“Oh, gods… I’m not ready to try explaining this!” The high priestess moaned. “Wait ‘til Gary’s awake.”
#
All sight and sign of land had long vanished over the horizon, when evening fell over Wanderlust and the stars began to appear in the sky. Sarah ignited a few magical glowstones secreted in the rails and rigging, to softly illuminate the little ship as they sailed on into the gathering night. The dim starlight and what faint illumination the stones provided was barely enough to perform simple tasks, like lashing the ship’s wheel to keep their course steady.
“We’ll hold this heading for a few hours. At dawn we should be in sight of Iron Wolf island; my new home for the next century or two.” Sarah sighed at last. “You kids will find an exit from my little paradise at the top of the volcano.”
Gandree’s eyes widened just a bit at her casual mention of volcanoes, bringing a laugh to her sweet, apple cheeked face. “Don’t worry, it’s a quiet one… for now.” She purred with a dangerous glint in her eyes.
“The cult probably has a few ships out searching for us, so whoever is on watch needs to stay alert. Gandree, you get first duty, if anything happens or you see the compass needle drift, wake me… I’m going to sleep. Daisybelle, don’t stay up too late.”
The leggy, beautiful woman slipped through the hatch, closed the cover almost entirely and dimmed the cabin lights. The two young lovers found themselves alone in the dark, surrounded by the empty sea and distant stars.
“Daze… What the hell just happened?” He asked at last.
“Those people… those walking dead men…”
“Yes, my lover love… It’s stupidly complicated out here in the worlds beyond.” She sighed, sitting in his lap and stroking his hair fondly, as she cooed and caressed him like a beast tamer training a skittish monster.
“In goblin valley, Gary Ward is Ghnash Wha’rrgh, king of the goblins and witch of the deep woods. He rules his domain and has much power there, as the dungeon lord.” She murmured softly into his ear.
“Here Gary Ward is Sarah, the lord… lady of this realm. She has dwelt here so long and worn so many faces that no one even remembers that this is a dungeon world. The entrance has been sealed away by his…” She blushed a bright coppery green around her dimples and spoke again, with a smile. “Uh, by her Will, I suppose… for longer than any living memory.”
“Dungeon?” He asked, completely lost at this point, but she was playing with his ear and that made the impossible claims and weird ideas seem less outrageous.
“Goblinhome valley holds the goblin dungeon, which king papa Ghnash rules as its lord. He sealed his as well, since mad, horney goblin men are all that come from it anymore. King papa says, once it was a splendid place where we lived freely… Until the wicked cult enslaved and cursed our people.” She grinned savagely at the sparkling stars above. “King papa conquered the dungeon and threw out the cult, but he couldn’t break the curse on goblin boys.” She sighed sadly. “That was very long ago, though those cult stupids and their bandit knights come back every once in a while; assuming that they still rule there.” She grinned and nodded at him sagely, her sharp, white teeth shining in the starlight.
“Cults are bad at seeing their failures and worse yet at learning from them.”
They sailed on in silence for a while, Daisybelle sleeping on his lap, the little ship running before the gentle breeze that kept blowing them along. In the late hours of night, she woke under a blanket, no doubt from her boy’s stores.
Daisibelle peered at the stars for a moment and nodded with satisfaction, still laying on his lap. With firm confident moves, she took his hand from the wheel, and pulled his head down onto her lap, neatly trading places with the lad, before he’d even realized what she was planning.
“Go to sleep, boy of mine, I have the watch ‘til Sara wakes.” She murmured, snuggling herself into the capacious helm seat with him.
#
Gandree knew he wasn’t awake, but he was equally certain it wasn’t any normal kind of dream. He was in his house, but the weirdly oversized version he’d conjured that first time.
This home felt empty, abandoned and nearly forgotten. Cobwebs dangled and drifted everywhere, hanging limply, or waving in subtle ways, suggesting something was in motion, somewhere in the dark rafters and beams above him.
A sweet, gentle and familiar voice whispered from the shadows above, speaking with warm affection.
“Fear not, Gandree Clansward… You are a scion of Gary Ward, and also one of my favored children in your own right! Rejoice in my embrace, I am Thirp, She Who Spins In The Void, Mistress of Gentle Traps and Seduction, Keeper of Secrets!”
He looked to the rafters above him, just in time to see a spider drop down from impossibly far above.
She sank on her silver dropline at incredible speed, becoming larger by the moment, until a white, furry spider with golden lightning bolt markings on its abdomen landed beside him with a soft, whispering thud.
Eight spider feet landing on the waxed pine floorboards made a distinctive sound, one that jolted the dwarf into accepting the reality of what he was experiencing.
The familiar arachnid from his previous not exactly dreams sighed at him with wonder and delight, as she peered at him with all eight eyes at once.
“You are splendid material… We will learn so much from each other, I can tell already! Sadly, your mind is far too sane and rational to suffer my direct attention for too long. The stress of my divine regard will erode your sanity if we dither…”
“Thirp… remember, he is mortal!” A faint voice whispered through the quiet inn. “Let him go, before you do harm, my dear.” Gandree recognised the divine whisper of Marduk, so faint as to be only a suggestion of a voice in the listener’s ears.
Slowly the surreal chamber began to fade, along with the colossal arachnid goddess now sealed to his soul. As he drifted, that whisper returned still so faint he might be imagining it.
“Send me more honey cakes and tea… mortal!”
#
Gary woke on the lawn under bright stars in a moonless, alien sky, feeling stiff, heavy and awkward. He tried to roll over and was greeted with a familiar resistance and weight; the encumbrance of his training armor.
“Oh, gods above and below, no… please.” He groaned pitifully.
“Sorry, brother… Shai’s orders. Take it like a man, it’ll be easier on us both that way.” Sir Kermal Singh, champion and personal guard of duke Julius Rummel, ruler of a dynasty both ancient and powerful, smiled at his wobegon brother and prodded him with the tip of his bronze, leaf shaped sword.
“Get up and fight, or I’ll paddle your bottom here on the lawn, like a wee little baby.”
The big musician rolled to his feet with a turn of speed that should have surprised his foe, but Kermal was familiar with all of Gary’s tricks and outranked him quite thoroughly. At the low end of bronze rank, an unranked human posed little threat, no matter how skilled.
The young knight watched with amusement, as Gary rolled onto one shoulder and deftly scooped up the mundane eight ring staff lying beside him. He gave it a spin to set the chiming bronze rings in motion out of habit… and sighed when the spinning bands fell silent after a few scant seconds.
“Ready, brother?” Kermal asked gently. “Because, here I come.”
In a silent rush, the small, lithe young warrior rushed his much larger opponent, sprinting at him with his wide bronze blade angled for a slash or defense at a moment’s notice.
Bronze and ironwood met in a loud clatter and clang, as the warriors met and exchanged blows again and again. The swift swordsman leapt and danced, spinning in and out of the longer weapon’s reach with ease. He harried his opponent mercilessly, stabbing him in non vital spots whenever his spinning, singing weapon drifted out of line or was baited with a clever feint.
He brutally punished every flaw in the bigger man’s defense and demanded ever greater speed, power and accuracy from the sweating, exhausted musician.
Each stab, slash or blow brought pained grunts and a very authentic response from the giant, while the blade left no wounds behind, passing through his body like smoke.
At last, the big man crumpled to the grass, spent and gasping for breath.
“You suck, Kermie.” He moaned and rolled over to face the dark vault of stars above.
“Shai’s convinced that if I can keep my fitness up, when I finally get a new Contract, I won’t have to work as hard to recover…” He sighed, as he staggered for the bath, still wearing the heavy, cumbersome training gear. “I never liked that sword… but it always loved me…” He sighed at last, glaring fondly at the gleaming bronze weapon.
“It still loves you, brother. That’s why I can abuse you so horribly! It feels nice to let loose in a training bout, knowing my sword will refuse to cut you.”
“Grats… Good Game. Gary grumbled halfheartedly. “Now you get to help me out of this sweaty armor. Shai can summon it out of my storage and right onto me, but I have to take it off the regular, non magic way.”
“Finding you a new divine Contract seems less and less likely, now that the pantheon is once more stirred up and angry…” Sir Kermal sighed, as he helped his brother undress..
“Divine Contract? No way. No more divines get their fingers in me.” The giant grumbled, as he struggled his way out of his vambraces.
“First I need to get shed of all these tangled, divine curses. That’s going to be a job. Then I’m hoping for a nice honest, transactional Contract with one of the fae… or maybe an outsider. I bet Shiro could introduce me to someone…”
#
First light brought the first sight of land, far on the horizon. The faint, shimmering haze seemed like an illusion for a few long minutes, until the dark cone of a low volcanic isle fully appeared at second bell.
Sarah also appeared at second, sipping her own coffee and bearing two more mugs in her fist. She grinned at the two lovebirds curled up in the helmsman’s seat, snug as can be and sighed sweetly.
“Up all night, huh?” She demanded sharply, with a merry twinkle in her eyes. “It looked like you two needed the alone time and I really needed the rest, after yesterday. Thanks, kids.” Her bright green eyes locked on Gandree and held his gaze.
“I bet you have a ton of questions, right?”
“Uh, yeah… Tons of questions, but they’re all in a big knot right now.” He mumbled over his steaming mug. “Oh, real coffee…” He sighed.
“I need time to think and learn about all these new things…”
“Good luck with that, brother. Things are moving fast out here, the light cult is getting desperate enough to take stupid chances.” She took the helm and shoved both kids out of her seat, grinning at their sleepy, stumbling antics.
“Go wash up below. Breakfast is on the stove, I made a pot of groundworm stew for the mutts. We should be ashore in an hour.”
‘Land!?’ Nightshade demanded, sitting up for the first time since coming aboard and plating himself in the bow with the other wargs, who had been just as unhappy. “I need to poop!”
‘Stew!’ Jasmine and Petunia growled hungrily.
‘Poop?’ They agreed eagerly. With all three wargs up and moving, the little ship became suddenly very small indeed.
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