Book 2: Dirt Diver’s Dance
Life, The Universe And Everything Ch: 42
Beneath a bright summer afternoon sun, with birds singing in the garden and a cool mountain breeze playing in the leaves, four tall brown haired, brown eyed men, looking as alike as four grown men could, strolled up the long hillside path to visit the home of the goblin king, again.
The dour faced man at the head of the group rapped on the door and spent a few seconds adjusting his somber robes of gray wool.
“Relax, Judgement. Ghnash doesn’t care how you’re dressed… even though he’s a really skilled tailor.” Wheel of Fortune muttered quietly. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled at the world, carefree and jolly, as always.
“True, but he does care about manners… He’s nocturnal, you know, just like me. I can’t believe I let you clowns talk me into showing up during the day!” The Necromancer complained from beneath his shady hat and cowl. “And here we are again, with the sun still up! Too bloody bright out!”
“Gotta take a chance, now and then.” Wheel insisted. “My divinations indicate that this is the right time.” He reached into the pocket of his long, colorfully embellished coat and drew out a small crystal sphere. It glinted and shone in the sunlight as he held it on his palm. “See? Auspicious portents.”
“Portents or no, we must act soon… and act decisively.” Judgment intoned soberly.
#
Sabrina struggled back up to a sitting position, when her keen ears caught a knock at the door… again! Ghnash had his hands full, since Tanya, Sandra, Brenda, Glenda and Amanda had all started their tummytime together this morning and those girls did everything together. His hands, face and everything else was busy busy with too too much good stuff.
She sighed at her poor sovereign’s fate, as she tenderly eased herself onto her feet.
“Oww…” She murmured, clutching her lower places gently, as moving around reminded her of an uncomfortable truth. Even after bearing one of his daughters, Sabrina still struggled with her beloved’s babymaker.
“Oh, my poor guts…” She sighed, as she staggered downstairs to do her other duty.
The goblin queen shrugged into a long, flowing gray silken robe, embroidered with climbing roses by her husband’s own hands, just for her. She idly wondered where the panties from this set had gotten off to… She still wore the delicate scarlet lace bra, also adorned with climbing roses, but without the sweet, skimpy bottoms... She sighed as she dressed and headed for the door.
Daylight visitors meant humans, and that meant she had to wear clothes and do human things. That was the hand fate had dealt her and she would play her hand well, no matter what cards should land.
With a sigh, she snugged her robe closed and opened the door on four of a kind.
#
When a handful of major arcana arrived on her doorstep again, Sabrina remained absolutely impeccable in her duty of hospitality. Despite being, once again dragged from her bed by the unexpected visitors, the goblin queen saw to it they were fed and then directed them to the baths and rooms in the spacious inn, where they might rest and await his majesty's pleasure… She had been particularly emphatic on that point.
Alone in his chamber, after the wacky TED Talk Ghnash had put on that morning, Star looked down at the ridiculous little scrap of nearly weightless spider silk in his hand and grinned.
“Pantsu magic…” He murmured with a smile of absolute amusement and mirth.
“By the power of Panties!” He chanted, holding the wisp of cloth above his head.
When no magical girl transformation occurred, he giggled and shook the little ‘garment’ out for a better look.
Like the other undies, it was fine work.
Rather than elegantly tatted lace, depicting twining roses, this was simply smooth, soft silk, sewn with stitches almost too small to see. Little more than a scant handful, when he held it up, the front portion drooped and unfurled surprisingly far.
“Damn, Ghnash! That’s what you’re packing?!” He murmured, as he tucked the goblin king’s hog holster under his pillow with a grimace.
“The things I do for my brothers…” He sighed as he fell into sweet sleep under an open window full of early afternoon sunshine and birdsong, for an experimental nap.
#
“Hello, my sexy darling…” A sweet, musical voice sighed, as he opened his eyes, finding himself flat on his back on a wide, pleasant lawn that felt familiar. Also familiar was the wheeling sky of stars, colors and madness above him; though he couldn’t remember ever seeing this particular vista, in all his long and busy life.
He turned away from the strange sky, its even stranger moon and planet… and all that other celestial weirdness; concentrating on his immediate surroundings instead.
When he sat up, he came face to face with an enormous white jumping spider, who sported the slim and beautiful upper body and head of a human woman… dressed in a spiderkini that was… unambiguously hot.
The spiderweb lace garments, arachnid body form, cute, sweetly innocent smile and naughty, sassy eyes were all the same as the ‘Idol’… Her breasts, barely concealed behind her tiny, spiderweb top, were far less… Well, just far less in every dimension and delightfully so.
Pert, perky, with just enough jiggle, bounce and bosomy, bubbly goodness to make his eyes water, since he hadn’t blinked in a while. There was way too much good stuff to look at, for any of that nonsense.
“Lady Thirp, I may assume?” He asked carefully, with a very elegant bow to the being that was standing very close to him, in a place he hadn’t been a few moments before.
“Indeed, young Gary Ward…” She blushed sweetly and hid her lips behind an upraised, eight fingered hand, shyly glancing away from his face.
“May I call you Star? I have a large number of Garies in my life.” She giggled behind her palm, as eight beautiful, dark eyes sparkled merrily on her brow.
“Certainly…” He murmured soft and low, stepping closer to her with the smile he used on stage, when a woman in the audience caught his roving eye. “...miss Thirp.” He whispered, when he was close enough that she might reach out and touch him with ease.
“You aren’t frightened?” She asked, her voice hardly more than a breath between those perfect lips, with her sharp mandibles and fangs peeking out as she spoke. “Frightened of… me?”
There was a hidden note of desperation, a longing hidden in her soft, melodic voice. He had felt that so many times, on so many worlds after so many battles, adventures and hard rockin’ shows.
He couldn’t help but hear that call, her hopeful need was there, plain to his ears, so he answered, once again. “Frightened? Absolutely terrified…” He murmured, leaning so close that his lips nearly brushed her cheek.
“How about you, goddess SpiderBoobs?” He finished that impertinent question by landing a soft and chaste peck on her cheek, followed by a gentle stroke with the backs of his fingers, across the spot he’d just kissed.
“Oh, my…” She whispered, leaning close, so that her shoulder rested on his broad, muscular chest. “Yes, I will have you, Star…”
With unexpected strength for a creature with such slender arms, she pulled him close for a long, lingering hug.
“You are so warm, accepting and inviting, silly boy.” She smiled wide enough that her gleaming fangs protruded, a tiny drop of steaming silver venom trembling at the tip of each deadly, three inch needle.
She kissed his throat delicately and smiled again, her eight eyes locked with his. “At the height of our shared passion, I’ll strike at the base of your skull, my venom will be painless…” She whispered so softly and warmly that he felt shivers of pleasure running up and down his spine and his legs got shaky.
“Once you are paralyzed I’ll consume your brain, taking away your higher mental functions entirely; before I deposit our eggs in your living body, that our young might consume you as their first meal…” She sighed winsomely and held him a little closer.
“Uh, I’m not sure that works for me…” Star mumbled in embarrassment.
The spider girl in his arms pushed him back from her embrace, displaying that amazing strength again.
“You rake! Leading a maiden on in such a way! Take responsibility, young man! Let me plant my brood in you as compensation!”
She had a smile on her lips and was winking a really confusing number of eyes at him, so Star smiled and bowed to her again.
“My deepest apologies, Lady thirp…” He spoke as clearly and confidently as he could, while the strange creature giggled at him and adjusted her spiderkini top.
“Yes, my dear… I was taking advantage of you for my own cruel amusement.” The spider divinity sighed and smiled at him again, with a warm and benevolent expression on her almost, really very nearly, human face.
“Even a goddess likes to feel sexy sometimes.” She murmured, that shy and demure blush rising on her cheeks again.
“You are by far, the sexiest spider I’ve ever met.” Star answered honestly, his own smile once more in place. “Honestly, if it weren’t for the whole venom, brain and egg sack thing…”
As he was speaking, she took his hand and led him to a small clearing with a plush velvet sofa sitting in the middle, beside a tea tray laden with… tea stuff.
“We will not be engaging in…” Thirp smiled in a melancholic kinda way, gazing at the blue planet whirling above them with a sigh.
“In any case, I am here to bind a divine Contract with your soul, that you may always have my guidance and blessing, wherever you roam.” She said calmly, waving for him to take a seat, as she fiddled with the tea things.
“I am one of the very few pan-dimensional divinities that is able to touch these fractured and damaged realms.”
She poured the tea while she spoke, moving with a refined elegance that was almost hypnotic, magical, a ritual.
“My friends have been watching for some years now, as you travelled so restlessly from town to town, world to world. Whatever were you seeking for so very long…And did you ever find it?” Her eight innocent, glistening eyes, sweetly eager smile and warm, casual intimacy eased a rare moment of honesty from his lips… Or perhaps there was something in the tea?
“I’m a musician…” He answered with a smile. “I need the roar of the crowd, bright lights and loud music to really feel alive… and there’s always another town, another show, more people who need to hear my songs.” He said soberly.
“More pretty girls who need to hear your songs?” Thirp asked sweetly, with a wicked grin on her oddly cute and compelling face. She placed teacups on the table with a plate of small cookies, before joining him on the couch; sitting close enough to touch, but without invading his space. “All kinds of pretty girls… or so my spies say.”
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“I’m a man without roots, family or a home, lady Thirp. I take… and give comfort where I can find it and with whomever I may choose to share it.” He answered calmly and with as much confidence as any man might wish for, when having tea with a sexy spider girl goddess in a magical dream world.
“So I hear. Word is, you’ve left a long trail of smiles and tears behind you…” Thirp muttered happily. “Orc girls, goblin damsels, beastkin maidens of all sorts… you cut a wide swathe, my child.”
“Sex, drugs and rock and roll, Thirp baby.” He answered, slipping into a glib and charismatic attitude that fit him like a suit of finely tailored clothes and was just as much a costume, concealing the man behind the confidently self assured smile.
A few heartbeats later, the suave, sexy rockstar vanished; revealing the slightly sad man hidden behind the bright lights.
He whispered very quietly, perhaps for himself alone. “Music can heal the world…” He mumbled. “With a big enough Marshal stack, I could shake the stars themselves.”
“That is our goal as well; yours, mine and others in my circle…” Thirp gasped softly, her hands landing on his knee, in a gesture both intimate and chaste. “Help me, Star. Accept my blessing and aid me in healing what may be healed, in this broken dimensional rift you call home.”
#
Hermit found himself in a deeply uncomfortable position; with the most exquisitely beautiful, tiny woman he’d ever seen, curled up in his lap and almost entirely inside his clothes with him.
Psychologically uncomfortable, anyway. As far as actual comfort, huggability and cuddliness went… That shit was off the fucking charts. She even smelled super nice, like warm amber and green, growing things, under a perfume that was ripe fruits, spicy herbs and citrus, with a hint of ginger.
Under the intoxicating influence of this being, his own thoughts and feelings felt strange, foreign and oddly… comfortable; even as his training and spiritual arts fell back into place at last.
With an effort of pure Will, he reasserted control over his own emotions, restoring a measure of balance to his aura and Mind.
“Lady Plumeria, please respect my boundaries and agency. I am not your plaything… Please refrain from touching me further, without my consent.” He said gently, but firmly. “Consent which I currently wish to withhold.”
As if a switch had been thrown, her roving hands withdrew a little and the pressure on his aura reduced, along with the pressure of her small, firm breasts against his ribs.
“Excellent, boy. Truly excellent.” She whispered fondly, but without the heated passion she’d displayed mere moments before.
“You are a precious treasure of my very dear friend. I would never dream of stealing the fruit from her orchard, no matter how ripe and tempting.” The woman sighed, taking a final nibbling kiss of his throat, just behind his jaw.
“What does that mean, lady Plumeria?” He demanded very gently. “We literally just spoke about respecting my agency.”
“Please, just call me Meria…” She murmured happily. “To be blunt; Ward, my sisters and I will be taking very special care of your… education and preparation for the next step in your journey. We shall set the table, but the feast is laid for someone else.”
“Again, my personal agency seems to be overlooked in your plans.” He said, just a little sourly.
“I’m sorry, Gary… it’s just, you burn so brightly, like a bonfire on the darkest night, throwing light, heat, smoke and energy into the void all around you.” She murmured pleasantly into his collar. “We feel a need to act, when such energies are present… an urgency that impels us into action.”
“I don’t feel that I am doing any such thing, Meria.” He answered, calm as a millpond in winter.
“Sexual energy is extremely… potent, to my people, when expressed in natural ways. Erotic love, friendship, parental love, the workings of sentient emotions and attachments are all powerful energies…”
She buried her little face in his shirt again, nuzzling and caressing his bare chest, speaking from her hiding place, like that was normal.
“Repressed sexual urges… are a currency of sorts… and are an awesome power that can work wonders or terrors with equal facility.”
She licked her tiny, perfect red lips and smiled hungrily up at him. “You, my child are perhaps the tenth most potent source of concentrated, repressed sexual energy that I, or any of my sisters, have ever encountered.”
“Only the tenth most powerful in existence?” He asked wryly. “I imagine your beloved Ward is the first?”
“Oh, no!” She replied in an earnest and sober tone. “The most powerful sexual force is no more. It was spent in a great and terrible act of vengeance and just retribution.”
She smiled again, sad and angry at the same time.
“Look, look there and see the awful wound that madness and fury dealt the heavens! The chaos wrought in the divine realms, by a mortal with a serious attitude problem, unfettered from reality by his shattered soul and mind.”
She pointed toward the horizon, where a broken and tumbled ruin loomed darkly, seeming ominous even from so far away. A hideous purple and green tinged rift in the sky lingered there, like a loathsome slug crawling across a beautiful picture window, trailing snot behind.
“What is that?” He asked in horror of the awful scar on the universe, spewing something wrong from its yawning chasm.
“A group of immortals plotted to commit a great crime, which they perpetuated, expanded and repeated for an immeasurable length of time, against a single mortal victim…” She whispered, her voice tinged with fury, sorrow, regret and just a little hope.
“A crime?” Hermit asked gently, when she stalled for a moment, lost in her thoughts.
“Let us say that these immortals were engaged in the prolonged torture, rape and sacrifice of an orphaned mortal soul, captured from the void as it wandered, searching for a home.” She almost hissed with repressed and impotent fury.
“An unthinkable crime that no sane entity would commit can go on, undetected and unchecked for a very long time indeed.” She sobbed just a little, until she quickly regained mastery of her emotions.
“They would still be engaged in victimizing that poor mad soul even now, had not one of their mortal agents failed spectacularly in their wicked ritual, some few hundred years ago…”
Hermit shifted and drew a breath, preparing to ask a question, but she anticipated his query.
“A mortal soul, fully mature, but untouched by mortal love or passion is a rare and powerful thing, if captured. If one could exploit that soul for its power, and then capture it again… and again… sacrificing that being, just as he is coming into the mortal world…”
“No.” Hermit gasped softly.
“Yes, countless times over centuries… Until, eventually, inevitably, someone screwed up their sacrificial ritual, tumbling a uniquely damaged soul into the void. The result of that failure slowly unwound the plot and was their final undoing, in the end. Their punishment came late and was all the greater for that delay.”
She shook her head, saddened and horrified as well, by the disgusting, seeping wound in the veil.
“The greater the anticipation, the larger the detonation… that is the true terror of a Sexbomb.”
“Uh…” He mumbled around a mouthful of ‘What The Fuck!?’ and finally managed to gasp out one word of query.
“Sexbomb?”
“Sexbomb.” Meria answered succinctly, before nesling herself back into his collar.
“My beloved Ward is a sexy beast, with a slamming cock.” She sighed into his chest, her warm breath sending tingles through his skin.
“He spends so much time ‘splitting wood’ here in the dryads’ forest, that he sometimes neglects his real duties as the god of Death and Vengeance…” She chuckled and bit his nipple playfully, just a little as she continued.
“I love the dear boy and his delicious, swinging balls; but He’s not in your league, not even close.”
She peered up at him from the depths of his collar and smiled warmly. “Ward’s a candle, beside your roaring wildfire… but the Sexbomb was a brief, blazing supernova; one which slew many immortals and at least three actual gods… with orgasmic explosion.”
She sighed sweetly and patted his cheek, after extracting that hand from his trousers, where it had taken too many liberties. “You are waking from this dream. Worry not, you will return here soon, my child. We will have much to discuss then.”
Those words had barely faded, when Hermit awoke, snug in his web funnel among the rafters of the goblin king’s house.
#
Ghnash woke from that hazy, familiar dream, the one where he had a big, silly, chaotic family all around him… A family of humans and others, walking in the sun…
And the beautiful, half remembered, pale, twirling, dancing dream in green skirts. He could almost hear her bells, singing a song just for him, drifting on the evening breeze.
“Shai…” He whispered again, a tear slipping from his eye as he stirred among his tangled and exhausted mates.
“No, Sabrina.” She whispered firmly into his long, pointed ear, just as she always did when he woke with that dream name on his lips. She leaned close and licked the tear from his cheek, before she latched her sharp little teeth onto the royal shoulder.
“Yes, my queen… my Sabrina.” He moaned, as she wrapped her slender, lithe legs around his waist. Small, sure hands found his rod and stroked him into position, her favorite position.
With her teeth locked on his shoulder, drawing just the smallest trickle of blood and her legs gripping his hips, she wasted no time lining herself up with the precious scepter and orbs of state, before asserting her claim to the throne once again.
She raked at his back with her carefully blunted claws as he embraced her, driving himself in a little deeper than usual. Sabrina thrashed and squirmed in agony and pleasure, struggling to get just a bit more inside her poor, aching, needy flesh.
His girth stretched and filled her to her limit… and a little beyond, her desperate passion spurring a burst of renewed effort from the trembling goblin woman.
She gave a mighty squeeze of her legs, wriggled her hips until she screamed in agony and lust, until only her love sang out in a single long, clear note among the slowly waking harem.
Still spitted on her beloved mate, Sabrina looked down at the remaining inch and a half of thick, veiny, green cock standing between their straining bodies. She gasped and sobbed, sagging against his chest in defeat.
“No good, no good!”
“Don’t cry baby, Sabrina my love, don’t cry…” He cooed gently, stroking her back and lifting her chin gently to kiss her lips, still wet with his blood and her drool.
“You don’t need to hurt yourself… Please don’t cry…”
He gently eased himself out of her poor, battered tender parts and slipped down to kiss her all better down there… Which stifled her tears and replaced her sobs with gasps, as he gently brought her back down from wherever the hell she had gone.
It took about a hundred gentle licks to get to the center of Sabrina’s tootsie pop, so she could make sense again. Sabrina was still trembling and breathing heavily when he kissed her deeply and pulled her into his arms for a snuggle. She wriggled closer with a satisfied sigh, until she bumped into the Chief's staff.
“Oh, no… Your poor babystick…” She sobbed, her tears starting anew.
“I’m a failure…” She gasped, pawing at his chest and weeping again. “What kind of queen can’t take her whole mate inside?”
“Come on, Sabbie… come here and kiss me…” Ghnash pleaded gently in her ear.
“We’ll let Chelsea suck me off until I’m about to pop, then we’ll see if I can’t put another baby in you…” He murmured, eliciting an excited giggle from Chelsea, who was always eager to help out.
“I feel so good, I might just put one in you too, Chelsea… so don’t swallow any!” He waggled a finger at the playful little pink haired, blue eyed goblin who was already gobblin’ his knob, her round bottom happily waving side to side, as she slurped and slobbered away on her evening treat.
“Cheseas shares! Babymaking is team sport! Chealsea works hard, makes lots and lots of babystuff!” She gasped a moment later, when she came up for a big, sloppy, shared kiss with the king and queen.
“Game face on!” She gasped, once she only had one tongue in her mouth. True to her words, the girl was a team player. Her ball handling skills were peerless and she really knew when to drive hard into the paint and when to play zone defense. She passed the rock at just the right time, scoring an assist and tying up the game.
Sports metaphors aside, his newest bride popped his throbbing, almost painfully engorged goblinhood out of her mouth and helped him ease back inside Sabrina…
Just enough to carefully fill her up; as she gasped and thrashed in pain, while begging for more.
Spent and wrecked, poor Sabbie curled up and went to sleep, his seed dribbling from her red, puffy pussy in a slow trickle.
“Wasteful…” Chelsea sighed in his arms, gazing at the runnel of goo forming a small pool on the bedding. With a soft chuckle, Ghnash leaned down, kissed her pretty pink lips and grinned.
“I made you a promise too, little one.” He cooed in her ear, as his hand cupped a small green breast, weighing her boob appreciatively.
“Bend over and don’t wake Sabrina… I’ll be gentle.” He sighed sweetly in her ear, as his hand caressed her eagerly upraised bottom.
“Nuh, uh… no no gentle… Plow Chelsea good!” She demanded, looking back over her smooth shoulder at her king and grinning.
“Make big big mess, so Chesea can’t sit down!” She gasped softly, before shoving a length of willow stick between her teeth and raising her ass a little higher.
“Smash me good!” She mumbled, before burying her face in the pillows.
#
“So, did everyone have a restful day?” The Necromancer asked mildly, when Ghnash and a large number of painfully sore goblin girls staggered downstairs to the baths at sunset.
“Smirk all you want… I’m the goblin king. That comes with certain responsibilities.” Ghnash grumbled good naturedly at his brother, while adjusting his own sore parts and grinning.
“Hermit… sorry about the noise. Your nest is kinda right by my bedroom.”
He smiled sheepishly and held his palms up helplessly. “I don’t know what got into us…”
“We all know what got into them…” Star said with a sassy grin at the bevy of green babes making their careful and tender way into the baths. “I had some… interesting dreams myself. How about you, Hermit?”
Spiders can’t blush, they aren’t equipped for it; yet somehow…
#
Seabirds wheeled above a quiet tropical island, nearly lost in a sky so blue it hurt his heart a little, if he were to stare for too long. Gary’s eyes were closed entirely, a smile on his lips, as his body swayed slightly in place where he lay, as if he heard music.
The island spun beneath him as Kree banked hard, buzzing along a hundred yards above the rim of the volcano, working the updrafts to her advantage.
She tucked her wings and dove, spearing down through the air, hurtling at the ground far below in a wildly corkscrewing spiral. A dozen yards above the trees, she pulled up hard, cutting right and wheeling fast, to catch her pursuer from behind.
Her rapier of blackened bronze flashed once, twice, then a third time, before the monster skeeter fell, spiralling down toward the jungle, stolen blood spilling out as it crashed heavily into the underbrush.
Far below, Shiro and Otho bounded through the rank jungle growth, searching for the fallen monster’s corpse. Gary shuddered as Kree took another pass, low down to guide her friends to the prey. The thing weighed at least fifty pounds and could have sucked a plow horse dry in a single feeding.
He watched through his familiar’s eyes, as the others dragged the nightmare bug out of the woods for butchering. Wilf was right there, as always, he was excited to cut up a new monster variant and this one was super creepy..
“Crab claws and tentacles? Weird!” Gary mumbled to himself, as Kree flew off, gaining altitude in search of more fun.
#
Gary kept laying there, sprawled out on the beach under the sun, soaking it up like a weirdo. There were a number of other weirdos too, clad in those newfangled bathing suits, out of deference to Lindsey.
While Wheatford was a hot and dry town in summer, where mixed bathing at the river was a fact of life, Foresthome was cool, misty and offered so many ponds, streams, springs and lakes that the tradition never took hold. Likewise, casual nudity remained taboo in the region.
Lindsey was a Foresthome girl all the way through and was not about to prance about unclothed in front of everyone, fancy big city ways be damned!
She blushed a moment later, as her wandering thoughts brought her around to one of her favorite memories… She smiled and her blush spread, as she reflected on the first time she’d ‘met’ Barry Ward.
The boy had tumbled out of the clear blue sky one afternoon, stark naked, his cock massively erect and his brain completely doofy on some mixture of spider venom and magical translocation backlash…
She smiled, remembering the way he’d looked up at her, so stupid and so beautiful, lying there shamelessly rock hard, his dick waving in time to the boy’s slow, steady heartbeat.
“Good times.” She murmured to her horse, who snuffled his agreement.
“What’s that love?” Barry asked sleepily, his head pillowed on her lap, his eyes closed as well.
“Nothing, baby. Go back to sleep.” She murmured softly to her boy.
The peaceful scene shattered a few minutes later, with Gary standing on the porch, hitting the dinner bell and shouting in alarm, while still wearing his super snug, bright red shortie shorts.
“Incoming! We have ships incoming!” He shouted at the sunbathing Adventurers. “Three unknown warships, Kree has eyes on them.”
#