Sailing Ether Tides
Ch: 33 Sky Rockets In Flight…
“You scouted the other side without us? That’s pretty messed up. No jackalope fricassee for you guys…” Amy grumbled at Dannyl and Maya in the bath, once they had finished reporting in and stowing the bikes and gear.
The sun was just turning everything golden, bathing their little mountainside home in glory for a few long, breathless minutes. From the edge of the bath, one could look over the rim of the world, far to the west and almost glimpse the Shallow Sea and the hazy outline of distant Port Clement, low on the horizon.
“The others will be out in a minute, Frankie’s buttering Rio’s buns for him right now.” Wilf sighed as he joined the pool. “I told him to leave that fender on… maybe I’ll put a cargo rack on his; that’ll keep his butt off the wheel.”
The big man mused as the swirling water soothed his bruises and tired muscles.
“Rio took a bad bounce; the poor boy caught his rear wheel, right up box canyon…” The high priestess gleefully explained to the gathered family.
“Shush Kermie, that really hurts, even with armored pants.” Becky giggled and scolded her husband when he barked with laughter at the mental image.
“Yeah, I screwed up and had to pay the price; riding in that death trap behind the mad bomber here.” Rio gasped a little, when his backside slipped into the water.
“Even if my bike had come out in one piece, I couldn’t have ridden back anyway. It would be like straddling a hot stove down the mountain.”
“Don’t give Wilf any ideas…” Frankie complained as he joined the party at last, sliding over beside Maya. “I thought you were both going to wind up scattered over the hillside.”
“You’d rather I fell asleep from pure boredom and took us off a cliff? No thanks.” The big man offered, through a smile of pure happiness.
“We gotta fire up the forge tonight, let’s get to the real fun…”
The three Ward kids trooped off to the workshop, once bathed and dressed in sturdy, knockabout clothes. Stained with paint, grease, oil, glue and varnish, along with who knows what else, they vanished through the door in the common room. When the latch clicked closed, a sign appeared from… somewhere.
It read: Private, do not disturb.
A few scant minutes later, a strange sensation began creeping through the door… or perhaps through the floor. A complex, pulsing rhythm could be felt, more than heard. Nearly inaudible, somehow it thrummed through the house, sending ripples across the bath.
“Uh, oh…” Kermal muttered grimly. “Come on everybody… let’s migrate to the garden and the other houses for a while…” With patient firmness, he and Becky gently shooed the guests away from the main house and it’s strange, subtle vibrations.
Frankie, Benny and Maya were already taking their ease under a dewapple tree in the yard, as night closed in. They called the three captains and the off duty imperials over under their tree, with friendly waves and welcoming smiles.
“You don’t wanna be in their house right now… We’ll hang out for a couple hours, then it should be fine.” Frankie announced loudly, for all the guests’ benefit. “Sorry for the inconvenience.”
True to their word, an hour and a half or so later, the thundering, subsonic… vibe died away; leaving only a thrumming, tingling energy in its place.
“All right, that’s bedtime for us… We start up the trail at second bell, so rest up tonight, or regret it tomorrow.” Becky sang happily, as she and her husband vanished into the main house, seeking their bed.
#
Two glittering, darting shapes flashed through the trees and bushes, as swift and tiny as hummingbirds and accompanied by joyous laughter.
“Tag, you’re it!” Kree shouted in her high, tinkling voice, as Mariah spun out of control into a blueberry bush.
A moment later a streaking, sparking comet flashed out of the shrub, hurtling for the still giggling sugar wasp familiar. The wildfire plum dryad caught her older sister around the middle and tackled the tiny, winged, chitin armored humanoid girl onto the mossy lawn amid peals of fae, childish laughter that shook the trees.
Together they flopped back on the mossy stream bank and watched the moons slowly rise from among the trees for a while, in companionable silence.
“It’s exciting, seeing all these new things with you…” Mariah whispered. “I’m worried about what comes next though.”
“That’s mortal thinking, little sister. You’ll outgrow that before long, once your roots have really dug in deep. Soon, my dear, so very soon.” Willow murmured gently, as she pulled herself into the world, through the moonshadow cast by a nearby diamond willow.
“Now have no fear, that too is for mortals… mostly.”
“You mean Gary…” Mariah whispered softly. “He’s scary and weird.”
“Something as damaged as he is can be distressing to look at and sense. The truth of it is, the things you feel are coming from inside you. We, as immortals are generally indifferent to the travails and suffering of mortals in general. Their lives flit by so swiftly and they are so numerous, scattered across so much of the universe…” She sighed breezily at the newborn dryad and smiled fondly.
“You have a more developed sense of empathy for mortals than most of our sisters. You see the marks of what has been done to him and recoil, because you can empathize and truly comprehend how damaged and incomplete he remains..”
Kree giggled at the elder dryad and rolled over to catch Mariah up in a hug. “I know he’s a little… ‘scary and weird’ but he’s getting better.”
“Now, my little ones… What are you darlings doing out after dark… hm?” Willow asked gently. “You should be preparing to rest.”
“The grownups are all being boring. It’s all monster this, dungeon that…” Mariah sulked and grumbled her complaints while dancing swift, sparkling pirouettes on the garden path.
“Monsters and beasts are their stock in trade, darling. No one is going to expect you to go into the family business.” Kree soothed her agitated and fussy sister.
“They will all be back to telling you how pretty you are soon.”
The tiny girl with insect wings stuck her tongue out at her sister and giggled, before darting skyward like a tiny, glittering firework.
“Duhh, cause I’m the prettiest!” She piped merrily as her sparkling trail of shining, detonating sparks followed her into the sky, where she burst in an explosion of rainbow flame, glittering sparks and smoke. The glowing ember that was Mariah drifted down slowly and landed with a quiet hiss on the mossy stream bank near the baths, right where she had lifted off.
“Ok, now we can go inside…” She murmured tiredly to her very much older sister, as Willow gathered the tiny form in her cleverly jointed, puppet hands and held her close to her wooden breast.
#
“I’d heard mention of ‘dungeons’ from the veterans every once in a while, but I kinda had other irons in the fire at the time. What are we talking about?” Gary softly asked from his favorite seat by the fire, with his wife curled up in his arms, pretending to nod off into dreamland.
“They are never really ‘dungeons’ per se… I’m not sure why we even call them that. Basically, they are places where the etheric veil has worn thin, typically due to natural forces… or in very rare instances, as a result of mortal occult meddling.” Liam explained carefully and quietly.
“Once they were very rare, appearing in untraveled places far from human lands. However, over the last decade they have become slightly more common. No one is certain what caused the shift in the etheric veil that brought these conditions about…”
He fixed the musician with a jaundiced eye and gave him a mild glare of annoyance. “Just as no one knows what caused the disappearance of three major gods from the pantheon. I was really hoping to get some answers to that mystery… Gary.”
He paused there for a good long while, long enough to make it obvious that he was waiting for his friend and brother to finally open up and explain.
The fool sat there smiling blandly and waiting for the young lord to continue, idly fingering his latest creation; a long, slender flute of some kind of ivory colored bone mounted with bronze fittings and keys.
“So what happens in dungeons? I’m assuming monsters?” He finally asked, when the tension drew out too long and became brittle.
The mad musician’s simple, almost idiotic smile of bland incuriosity almost convinced the young warrior count to give up, until his golden wife nudged him with an elbow, jostling the lord of county Kinnis to resume his thinly disguised interrogation.
“Yes, monsters… lots of them. Almost any kind of creature can appear inside the phenomenon, often in close proximity to one another and frequently possessing humanoid forms. Goblins clans are one of the most common results of an unmanaged dungeon.”
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“Intelligent, humanoid monsters?” He asked, much more keenly interested, as Shai stirred and sat up in his arms.
“Yes, in the wilds, non sentient monsters are the rule, but in a dungeon things are less straightforward.” The count murmured.
“Dungeon monsters are still normal beasts that have been possessed or infested by a fractional soul from outside our reality, but they are much more complete creatures and so are often far more dangerous.”
“So the goblins the kids encountered came from this new dungeon?” He asked while trying to hide the feral, hungry look in his eyes.
“Unlikely. A goblin warband could escape from an unattended dungeon mouth, but with the monsters battling outside, I doubt it.” Liam answered confidently.
“If intelligent monsters started escaping from there, they would most likely attack Mudwallow Bridge or here first. Best we stay alert for more trouble from wherever those wretches emerged.”
“So Ye do think there’s something else going on out there as well?” Shai asked, surrendering her feeble pretense at sleeping.
“It could be that there is another out in the wilds. That’s what makes goblins and such the true danger of an unattended dungeon mouth; since they can use weapons and often organize themselves, rather than savaging each other or devouring everything they encounter. Occasionally, inside the radius of the ‘dungeon’ they can actually congregate, or even cooperate and develop into real threats.”
“What are you gonna do about the kaiju battle the kids reported?” Gary asked, as Shai snuggled back in.
“We’d hoped to get some assistance from you on that matter…” Liam muttered unhappily. “We have few answers for what they described.”
“I don’t have much that would work either. I’ve played around with some experimental ballista bolts, but…” He shrugged and shook his shaggy head. “No ballista and I don’t have anything ready if I had one, or could get it there…”
“What about something like the lightning arrow that got the kids in so much trouble?” Tawny asked cagily.
“Thunderstruck? Nope, that was something I made before…” He mumbled, sounding unhappy, as he paused for a long moment of contemplation.
“The kids got in trouble for chasing something dangerous on their own and for sneaking around. That crossbow bolt was always theirs, just like everything else I make.” His gaze sharpened as he paused again.
“Theirs… I have no weapons for sale. Even for you.”
“Aye, an what if I ask, lad of mine?” Shai mumbled from under his arm. “Ye are still holding yer old grudges even wi Liam an Tawny? Tis ill done, boy.”
“Aww… babe. Don’t put me on the spot like that. The pantheon and the council of dukes; they can get fu…” Iron hard fingers reached up and gripped his earlobe gently and gave a slight tug, just a warning shot over his metaphorical bow.
“...they don’t get to ask me for anything any more.” He finished coldly.
“I understand your… reluctance…” The young lord began, doing his best to be diplomatic.
“Uh, huh… Something tells me that a dungeon is as much an opportunity as a threat. You seem excited and eager, rather than concerned.” The big musician grumbled. “You have the same look in your eye that Shai gets when we talk about silver and gold prospecting.”
“There are certain economic advantages to having a dungeon in the domain…” Liam tried to hide his smile, but it was hopeless, it snuck out around his frown of sober lordliness and made tiny lines crinkle around his eyes.
“Monsters frae dungeons do love shiny things… and do often have gems and precious metals.” Shai mumbled. “Rarely, even objects of power do appear, created wi random magics and strange manifestations.”
“Wait… magical items… like random loot?” He asked quietly, peering around the busy common room. “I thought you guys didn’t go for magical items… people always act like I’m pulling their leg whenever I show my wares.”
“Truly magical objects are vanishingly rare. When found they are nearly always snapped up by a collector or magical research society. Even objects of dubious utility are highly prized and terribly valuable.” Tawny answered smoothly. “Amicus has a collection of interesting trinkets, as does my grandfather, lord Timothy Belen of Herndon town. His most prized object is a small crystal that throws rainbows of frightening, darkly luminous shadow around the room when placed over a candle flame.” She muttered, while selecting a cookie from the tea table. “It’s quite a hit at a certain type of party.”
“Ok, that sounds super sketchy and idiotic… so that’s about right for rich people.” Gary grumbled sourly. “So why does everyone act like I’m either lying or crazy the first time they see my stuff?”
“Two bit hustlers and crooks are forever trying to sell fake magical objects to rubes. The kind of things that sell as novelties in wealthy towns can be peddled to the gullible by the unscrupulous.” Tawny answered pleasantly. “Many mages experiment with enchanting. A few even make a living for themselves creating short lived, very fragile trinkets and oddities. Sparklewands are popular with noble children for the feast of Light.”
She sighed at some remembered frolic and continued. “They scatter short-lived, illusory sparks when waved in the moonlight… Much like that, in fact.” She murmured happily, watching a spark of glittering flame launch from the garden and explode silently in the night sky, outside the window.
A few moments later Willow joined the group beside the small, merrily blazing tree on the hearth. She passed the sleepy, infant dryad to Gary, so that he could place Mariah into her blazing branches… with a set of bronze fireplace tongs. The tiny insect girl snuggled into a warm crook of her own branches and slipped off to dreamland with a soft, squeaky snore.
“Mmm, that’s a good idea.” Kree mumbled sleepily as she nestled in behind Gary’s ear, lost in Shai’s short, coppery hair while the smith woman made herself comfy as well.
“Ok, bedtime.” Gary began gathering his wife up and heading upstairs, with Shai draped across his shoulders, blissfully making him do most of her walking. He closed the door on his busy common room and started undressing his wife, while she lounged around and smiled at him innocently.
“Aye? Yer birth day be coming up, but tis nae yet, lad.” She teased him as her clothes vanished away into his storage gift, one layer at a time. She squeaked in mock dismay and burrowed under the covers as her underthings vanished away and his own cheeky grin got wider.
“Oh, no! You won’t get away that easily!” He growled as he leapt into the bedding, in pursuit of the pale round bottom he’d glimpsed as she dove under.
Downstairs, behind the pianoforte a buttery yellow guitar hanging on the wall of musical instruments began to chime and wail, singing the chords of a song from another time and another world.
Ah Ha’s ‘Take On Me’ was a big hit… from before he’d been born and unknowably far from his new home, but it really was a great track.
Barry, Harry, Larry and Perry smiled knowingly and shook their heads as one, when the music began. Together they took the stage and played along, cause that was really the only answer.
#
He woke when someone shook him roughly. “Gary, wake up bro… you can’t be here!” A familiar voice said in his ear, not quietly.
“Ghaaa!” He gasped and sat up, swatting at the blurry outline of his kinda-sorta brother, Ward.
“Dude! What’re you doing in my room? Boundaries!” He gasped and gabbled, while looking for his wife, who should have been tangled up with him in the bedding. She wasn’t. It was also not his bedroom… not any longer.
Somehow, he’d awakened in his old forest fantasy bedroom, complete with moss carpet, smooth stepping stones, fungus furniture and naturalistic sky mural with the sun and moons chasing themselves across his ceiling every night. Illusory fireflies sparkled all around as the sounds of a peaceful forest night cooed and whispered all around; it was almost perfect… and utterly impossible to create since his ‘return’ from beyond.
“How? I can’t summon this anymore…? Why is it so damn hot in here?” He gasped, as he began sweating from his… everywhere. From all around, a terrible sensation of pressure and wrongness crushed in on his body, as if he were being squeezed in a massive fist.
“You can’t be here, Gary...not yet. Let yourself get pushed back into natural sleep.” Ward’s shimmering and indistinct form murmured from an ever increasing distance.
After a few endless minutes of falling through nothing forever, he landed back in his body with an almost audible splash that shook his reality and made the whole house tremble and jiggle a little.
“Ugh…” His soft, involuntary groan of nausea didn’t wake Shai, as he rose and staggered for the toilet, clutching his insides desperately. He managed to slide the bathroom door closed before waves of coughing, gagging and nausea overwhelmed him.
#
Breakfast, That was more than enough to concentrate on in the predawn hours. The musician brewed the coffee, started a kettle of porridge and knocked together a few dozen carrot, oat and apple muffins, while the rest of the house slept on.
A half hour after dawn, Liam and Tawny were back; slipping into their familiar places with smiles and hugs all around. “Gods, Gary, you look like shit…” The count muttered when they were alone in the kitchen for a moment.
“Yeah, slept poorly, had weird dreams.” He grunted, when pressed on the matter. “Tawny didn’t want to ask me herself?”
“She’s concerned for you, but you are still a heretic in her goddess’ eyes. She isn’t allowed to render you any aid or comfort.” His brother mumbled awkwardly.
“Please don’t make things more difficult for her.”
“Meh, Healer’s power can barely touch me anyway… It’s not like she could help, even if her divine boss wasn’t throwing a tantrum.” He sighed, and sank down into his seat, as the kids thundered down from their rooms upstairs. “If she really wants to know, she needs to ask me herself. I’m sick of the pantheon sticking their divine noses where they don’t belong.”
The two brothers watched as their mad, extended family rampaged through a staggering quantity of victuals. Perry and Shai poured gallons of buttermilk pancake batter across the griddle, while Harry and Larry wielded spatulas with martial precision, flicking stack after stack to Barry, who doled them out from the pass through to a crowd of hungry Adventurers and orphans.
Wallowbear sausage and bacon, groundworm kebabs and a mountain of muffins washed over the busy inn, stuffed to the doors with early rising patrons.
Coins jingled merrily into the barrel by the door, as the informal restaurant fed its clientele of warriors, woodsmen, explorers and guards.
The count and his mad brother chatted by the fire, as the chaos roiled around them, a small island of quiet amid the clatter of plates and cutlery.
“We were talking about dungeons last night, that got me wondering… What about exotic monster materials?” He asked, in an obvious attempt to steer the conversation away from his condition.
“You guys mentioned precious metals and gems, along with magical loot…” He pressed, when Liam looked confused.
“Like, monster meat and such?” The young warrior count asked, with a puzzled look on his face. “I suppose so… no one really buys or sells that stuff…” He shrugged hopelessly.
“I don’t… so you just… What? Trash it all?” Gary asked, his face even more ashen and pinched than a few minutes before, which was pretty impressive.
“Monster meat and leather is… stigmatized.” Liam explained gently to his mad brother from another world. “It’s not taboo… but no one wants it. Only the poorest of the poor, orphans and the truly destitute will eat monster flesh or wear their skins. That’s why your inn is so deeply unpopular.”
The mad musician gazed over his bustling common room and cocked an eyebrow at his oldest friend. “Feels busy.”
“Look around, these are all woodsmen, foresters and Adventurers, whether active or retired. No merchants, no shopkeepers or tradesmen will set foot here.” Liam explained patiently, to his increasingly agitated friend. “None of the local notables, the town’s quali…” He halted himself, as Gary’s gaze became a little sharper.
“I’m saying only workmen, foresters and Adventurers come here… they don’t even bring their wives.”
“You eat monster all the time, so does Tawny… Julius does too.” The big man grumbled.
“Wheatford and Herndon are different from most towns, Gary. There are so many retired adventurers living in and around the duchy…” He shrugged helplessly.
“In the wider world, no one willingly eats trashworm or monster bugs. It’s a silly prejudice and we all know it, but it’s firmly held. Even those of us who do indulge in… exotic cuisine, would rather not be known as monster meat enjoyers.”
“I’m an orphan and an Adventurer… kinda.” He answered crisply. “I serve groundworm and deathshead locust in my home. If ‘The Quality People’ don’t find that to be in good taste, they can go to another inn.”
“Gary, you know I didn’t mean…” Liam stammered in sudden embarrassment. He drew a hankie from his cuff and dabbed his reddening, handsomely chiseled cheeks. “I’m not becoming some lace swaddled jackass…” Too late he saw his friend looking with unconcealed amusement at the delicate lace doily the young lord was dabbing his face with.
“Uh huh…” He smirked and grinned at the young lord from behind his smoldering pipe, enjoying himself just a little bit.
“I haven’t gone monster smashing in a few years, bro…” The mad musician cocked an eyebrow at his friend and winked. “I’ve been dead… What’s your excuse?”
The handsome count smiled sadly at that, releasing a quiet sigh through his lips. “Do you miss it?” He asked quietly, amidst the noise and bustle of the busy house. “I certainly do, brother.”
“Adventuring? Gods yes!” Gary answered sharply. “Wandering the roads, hunting monsters and especially…” He grinned; the old mad, crooked smile Liam remembered from so long ago.
“I particularly miss sticking my thumb in the eye of the kind of entitled pricks who look down on us for being orphans or talk about ‘the quality people’ with a straight face.”
“Hey…” Liam protested weakly.
“Bring me your gear brother, it’s time you were back out in the mountains… I can’t help out there anymore, but I can get your armor fitted and hone your weapons… I see it in your eyes, you want it; a taste of the old days.” The mad witch of Wheatford sighed and smiled at his friend.
“That much I can still manage.”
“Tawny says there is some reason to hope, holy Dana has hinted that she might release her divine stricture…” The handsome lord offered.
“I killed her abusive boyfriend and a bunch of her relatives…” Gary grumbled under his breath and shot a sour glare skyward.
“What was that?” Liam asked. “It’s noisy here.”
“I said, ‘I won’t hold my breath waiting for her’.” His glib, mercurial and deeply weird brother announced, through another of those mad, crooked grins.
#