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XLI. Watercolor Women

XLI. Watercolor Women

If you want to take a trip to Amsterdam, there’s really no season that’s better than another. Although most tourists visit during the summer, springtime in Amsterdam is the best time of year to see the colors of the city and the bright tulip fields. The spring is usually warm, but never too hot, with a never-ending variety of outdoor activities to take part in. After dark, parties welcome tourists and locals alike, with dance clubs remaining open until very late at night. In April, an annual tulip festival covers the city in beautiful blooming tulips: both celebrating the arrival of spring and honoring the country’s national flower.

The Rijksmuseum is arguably the world’s finest art museum. It was founded in The Hague in 1798, later relocating to Amsterdam in 1808, where it’s still located. The museum houses eight thousand objects of artwork and history, mostly done by Dutch Golden Age painters and artists. Sofie has visited the museum multiple times, although she knows little about art. Sometimes, she spends hours wandering among the exhibits, lost in her own little world. Daydreaming is something Sofie does rarely. There’s far too little time in life to live inside your imagination.

Most people think it’s impossible for a woman like Sofie to be successful on her own. Her parents are very well-known, within Europe and globally, and most of her success is attributed to them. It started this way. Sofie was born into wealth, and, as an only child, never wanted for anything. At twenty-one, she’s made a name for herself, and hates being compared to her parents - but it happens commonly, and makes Sofie grouchy.

“I am not my parents,” she says to a stranger who compares her to her mother, a white woman called Lonikie. “I don’t need them to help me anymore.”

Sofie speaks four languages, and travels a lot. She attended boarding school in Spain, and traveled to America for the first time at the age of five. She can afford to hire a nanny, but doesn’t trust strangers in her home, and dislikes the idea of paying others to watch her children. In the middle of the night, Sofie is stuck at the airport. It’s holiday season, and almost everywhere is decorated top to bottom with Christmas lights. Someone follows her, which isn’t uncommon. When she arrives in Amsterdam, her husband will come pick her up.

“Excuse me, Sofie?”

She hasn’t seen home in four months. She’s usually not gone for this long at once. This year, Sofie starred in her first overseas, English-speaking film, and stayed in Los Angeles while filming. Though it’s beautiful and busy here, it’s nothing like home. When the film is released, her parents likely won’t even watch it.

“You are Sofie, right?” Two boys follow her; they appear to be teenagers. It’s not often she’s recognized overseas. She enjoys the anonymity. “Sofie Applelhof?”

She’s kind of a bitch. This is what men say, anyway. “Yes.”

“We follow you on Instagram.” Most people try too hard to impress her. The boys are no different. “Can we get a picture with you?”

Everything Sofie does is publicized. Even her birth was publicized in a big name Dutch magazine. Sofie has always been known. At the age of eighteen months, she starred in her first commercial: an advertisement for pull-ups. Growing up in the spotlight meant spending a lot of time despising her parents for thrusting her into the limelight, and struggling with being isolated and bullied by other students. There are many downfalls to being famous, but there are many upsides as well.

Sofie’s parents are never around. It’s always been this way. She was raised mostly by nannies and older students, and spoiled by her parents as apologies for being absent. On April eleven, at six thirty five in the morning, she was taken to the hospital to give birth to her daughters, which had been confirmed to be twins months ago, and who frustrated Sofie from the day they were conceived. She was eighteen, alone, greatly missing her mother, who was away filming a television series. She dated a lot in her teenage years, and intimidated boys ever since she was a little girl.

Three years ago, Sofie moved out of her parents’ home in Vlissingen and into a houseboat on a canal in Amsterdam, where she lives with her partners and daughters. She was pregnant at the time, and though she’d tried to hide it from the public, the tabloids have a way of uncovering even the most well-kept secrets. This is what Sofie hates most about fame. Most of the time, she loves her job. On occasion, she feels bitter about childhood and being sent away.

Layovers are the worst part of air travel. If Sofie’s lucky, she’ll fall asleep on the way home.

“How did that happen?” her then-boyfriend had asked, after she revealed her pregnancy. “We were careful. You were on the pill.”

For a long time after meeting her husband, Sofie kept secrets about her past. She met Iggy on a movie set at the age of eighteen, and struggled with their conflicting schedules. Now, she mostly struggles with their conflicting upbringings.

It’s late afternoon when Sofie arrives in Amsterdam. She has several texts from Frederika, and feels frustrated. Like always, Iggy meets her at the airport. It’s becoming increasingly rare for both to be home at the same time. Iggy hates touring. Later this week, he leaves for several months. “Welcome home.” Iggy is an anal-retentive man. He was born in a small Dutch town to an American mother, and spent his entire life trying to get ahead. Though he isn’t the father of Sofie’s daughters, he treats them as his own. “How was your flight?”

Sofie doesn’t believe in living with regret. She rarely dwells on the past, and never thinks about the future. She’s not an affectionate woman; she learned this from her parents. On the contrary, Iggy is overprotective, and kind of a control freak. He has reason for this. In childhood, as a result of his mother’s inability to hold down a job, Iggy moved around a lot. “I missed home.” She should miss her daughters more than anything. She doesn’t. Sure, she misses her daughters, but there are more important things in life than children. It was Sofie’s idea to have kids. Her mother, a big believer in contraceptives, agreed to allow Sofie to start taking the pill as soon as she had her first period. Her father argued this. The twins’ father, who had been considering breaking up with Sofie, had no idea the power she held. When she stopped taking her birth control, it took no time at all for her to become pregnant.

“Freddie had her baby.”

Sofie would never date somebody monogamous. Those who dedicate themselves to only one person generally don’t know how to deal with the jealousy that can rear its head in multiple relationships. Though she’s dedicated herself to just one person in the past, she loves love and passion, and possesses the emotional capacity to maintain a lot of relationships at once. Not all of these relationships are romantic. Sofie loves freely and often. Polyamory requires consistent communication and compromise. So does every relationship, of course. When she left for her trip, Frederika was nearly five months pregnant. When it comes to babies, Sofie’s daughters have very different opinions. Madelief counted down the days until the boy’s birth, possessing a motherly instinct that few children have. Jetje is more partial to baby animals than baby humans. Frederika’s husband is monogamous. Frederika swears up and down that this doesn’t bother her.

“When?”

“Three days ago.” Iggy’s phone always sits on the dashboard when he drives. He makes a lot of phone calls. He has a schedule almost as busy as Sofie’s. “She named him Caspar.”

It’s been a few years since Sofie has had a baby in the house. She loves Frederika, and assured her months ago that she’d help with him. The four adults cooperate to parent the children, and all share duties pretty equally. When Sofie and Iggy have busy schedules, they appreciate this. Monogamous people don’t understand how a child could possibly have more than one parental figure. Multiple parents means more love and care to go around.

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When Sofie tells people she’s polyamorous, they jump to conclusions. Many people assume she’s prone to cheating, or that she just likes sex, or that she can’t commit to anybody. These types of stereotypes are hurtful, and couldn’t be further from the truth. There are many ways, in polyamory, to maintain safe and happy relationships, and to prevent sexual infections. This is another misconception, that Sofie must get a lot of diseases, that she’s unclean. The way that she prevents spreading diseases is, of course, by having safe sex. Sofie is fluid bonded with her husband. She can’t imagine being this way with anybody else.

“Mama! There’s a baby!”

The twins are three years old, and have known Iggy since they were newborn babies. Of course, they won’t remember this. Although both girls are blonde and fair-skinned as Sofie, they look very different, and enjoy different hobbies. Madelief is noisy and talks a lot. Jetje is shy, preferring to follow close behind Sofie at all times. Most of the time, Sofie has better things to do than play silly kids’ games.

The worst part of fame is watching all of your life decisions be judged by people who don’t even know you. Every other week, Sofie reads a story in the tabloids about herself: usually a story she’s never revealed publicly. She often wonders how much boredom a person has to endure before resorting to spying on others. Sofie is known only because of her parents. Often, she resents them for this. Since the birth of her daughters, Sofie has become paranoid, careful not to talk about her children publicly - but parasocial relationships are frightening, and strangers think they know Sofie because they follow her on social media.

At the moment, Sofie has three partners. This isn’t the most she’s had at a time, but she’s satisfied. Frederika only dresses in greys or blacks. She and her husband, Hazen, have lived with Sofie and Iggy for over a year, in the bedroom on the main floor. Frederika got married two years ago. When Sofie met her, she was planning her wedding.

Jetje holds her arms up to her mother. Frederika hugs Sofie, and then Iggy. Polyamory is not for the jealous type. Iggy has other partners of his own. After meeting Frederika, he took a while to warm up to her. Sofie’s partners don’t all have to befriend one another. They don’t even all have to know one another. She’s dated men in the past that never met Iggy. He’s dated women she knew the names of, but never once spoke to.

Don’t your kids find it confusing having many parental figures?

Children don’t understand things on the same level as adults. Adults overcomplicate things. At three years old, the twins understand that they have more than one mom, and more than one dad. The technicalities don’t matter, though everyone acts like they do. Since the birth of her daughters, Sofie has gotten practice explaining adult topics with language children understand. Iggy is better with language than her. Sofie hates repeating herself.

Iggy’s tour bag is already packed. Unlike Sofie, he’s a light packer.

“Mama, play?”

Madelief hates playing by herself. Someday, the house will be filled with children, and the twins will never be alone. Jetje will dislike this. She’s a quiet girl, preferring to get things done on her own rather than with others. When the girls argue, this is most often the cause.

“Let’s go out tomorrow night,” says Frederika, crossing her legs on the couch next to Sofie. She’s brown, thin, and tall. Sofie is tall too, but she’s fat, and this makes her look short. She holds Madelief, looking at a picture drawn in pencil crayon. “I thought we could go to the science museum, but I’m too tired today.” There’s always someone home to watch the kids. This is another benefit of unconventional relationships. Sofie’s life is never boring. The kids are never neglected. Once in a while, Iggy and Hazen have a boys’ night. They aren’t romantically connected, but usually get along.

Upstairs, there’s a large playroom next to the twins’ bedroom, and a three- dimensional monitor that allows the girls to play unattended. Sofie hates messes, and gets frustrated when kids’ toys become scattered all over the house. Despite this, her house is always messy. In the future, she and Frederika plan on bringing more children into the family. In the future, Iggy might invite a girlfriend to move in with them. Iggy’s girlfriend is named Gwen, and Sofie hasn’t met her. Most monogamous people don’t understand the idea of ethical non-monogamy. Sofie doesn’t believe in hierarchy, and doesn’t consider any of her partners more important than another. Sofie rarely meets her metamours. Tonight, she has a date in the city.

Next year, the twins will start elementary school. This isn’t compulsory, but it’s smart to get a good start in order to get ahead in life. When she was six months old, Sofie was sent to a private boarding school in Barcelona, where she was educated for eighteen years. Children need pressure to thrive. Sofie’s children are no different. Being raised by famous parents means learning how to fend for yourself far earlier than most. Sofie wasn’t neglected as a child, and she certainly wasn’t unloved. She shows affection in the same way her parents do: by showering loved ones with gifts and money. Iggy says there are far more meaningful ways to show love.

When Sofie began dating, she often found herself developing feelings for multiple people at once, and struggling to choose. Her nanny, who had been given the task of teaching Sofie about sex and relationships, always gave the most unhelpful advice. Choose the one you like most, she’d say, as if Sofie ever liked one person more than another. Maybe other people are this way. Sofie was taught the idea of monogamy as if it were the default: and for many years, she believed it was.

“Okay.”

The children should be getting ready for bed. The baby is very small and ugly, as most babies are, and lies on Hazen’s chest, swaddled in a light blue blanket. In the near future, Sofie plans on having another baby of her own. Madelief sits next to Hazen, always curious about things smaller than her. Caspar is too small to be held by a toddler. Despite not having given birth to him herself, Sofie feels motherly toward the newborn.

“I’m going out,” she says. Even outside of work, she’s rarely home. “I’ll be back before it gets too late.”

Sofie doesn’t date casually. Each time she meets a potential new partner, she’s quick to bring up her dating style and preferences, and she’s sure to keep her partners updated with important news about one another. New partners never meet her daughters right away. Children get attached to others too easily, and some people can’t be trusted. Sofie met her boyfriend late at night, after he confronted a man on the street who was harassing her. She’s perfectly capable of standing up for herself, but most men don’t take her seriously - so she’d been attracted to the stranger, as most men wouldn’t have intervened. Sofie values women who know how to look out for themselves. She values men who understand they’re not as important as they think they are.

Sofie met Rio a month ago. He was riding a motorcycle, and wearing boxy braids. She doesn’t see many men who look like Rio. He stands out in more ways than one, and seems to like it this way. He speaks Dutch very badly, and writes it even worse, and he hasn’t lived in the country long enough to pick up the accent.

“This is my husband, Iggy, and my girlfriend, Frederika,” Sofie says, after inviting him briefly inside. Iggy doesn’t care much who Sofie spends her time with, but she prefers her partners to be friendly with one another. “And this is Rio.”

What happens if you and one of your partners break up? Don’t you think the girls will be confused?

Most people can’t mind their own business. Anyone who spends enough time around Sofie will eventually be noticed by the paparazzi or tabloids, and this makes it hard to maintain any kind of long-term relationship. “I hope you enjoy attention,” she said to Rio a few days after they met. “You might be getting a lot of it.”

He’s been married two months longer than she has. Though Sofie has heard stories about his husband, she has little interest in meeting him.

“You’re pretty,” says Rio, opening the door of his car for Sofie. He has no kids, and doesn’t plan on ever having any. Sofie can’t lie. Once in a while, she misses the freedom that came with being childless. Although she loves her daughters, it can get exhausting revolving your whole life around someone else. Sofie’s parents are not grandparents worth being grateful for. They reach out at their own convenience, with little interest in the lives of their daughter and grandchildren. It’s probably not worth being disappointed over. You can’t expect a person to change overnight. Still, Sofie had hoped her parents would become more involved after the birth of her daughters.

Sofie gets called pretty all the time, to the point that it’s not a creative compliment anymore. She’s more than just her looks. She’d rather be complimented on her talent, or her confidence. “I know I am.” She doesn’t always feel confident. Being a woman is hard enough. Being a plus-sized woman on social media isn’t for the insecure. “Can’t you think of a better compliment that doesn’t have to do with how I look?”

The car is messy. Two padded walking poles lie on the floor behind Sofie’s seat. Rio grins. “You have excellent taste in men.” Like Sofie, he enjoys attention from others. Even the biggest attention seeker gets tired of the paparazzi after a while.