It's intimidating to drive in the winter. Between black ice, snowstorms, and wildlife, Ciel would almost rather stay home. Sometimes, accidents are inevitable no matter how careful a person is. Ciel has done enough damage already. After months of nagging from Juno, he finally agreed to see a therapist, mostly just to shut her up. Juno's a child, and she doesn't understand real adult problems. Still, everybody gets angry when he points this out.
Juno is nineteen years old. She's spending her birthday at the hospital, getting treatment and feeling embarrassed about public breakdowns. It isn't her fault. Juno pretends not to care about how others perceive her: but Ciel didn't meet her yesterday.
Work isn't as fun as it used to be. Ciel became a tattoo artist because he's passionate about it. At least, he used to be. Now, work just feels like a chore. He works on a design he's been working on for many sessions: finishing up the sleeve of a regular customer. He makes casual small talk to pass the time, feeling vulnerable when conversation gets too personal. No one wants to know about his personal life. Later, he's supposed to hang out with friends. Juno insisted, again, that he try dating. It's impossible. Everything reminds him of Maria. Until she stops existing in everything, dating will end badly.
Ciel has tried to persuade his sisters to make up. Drama is tiring, and family is forever. This is something Anika has told her children many times. You can't choose your family. You just have to learn to live with them. For some, this is easier said than done. Juno was always forgiving. It seems she's become harsher with her terminal diagnosis. People make mistakes, Ciel has tried to tell her. It doesn't matter. Other people's problems don't matter.
"Happy birthday," he says when Juno gets into the car. "I made you some cupcakes." It's Juno's last birthday, probably. He won't mention this. Everyone already knows it. Juno bakes a lot, but she doesn't eat a lot of baked goods. These days, she's not very hungry. "How was your appointment?"
She's wearing a wig. This is something she never does, even though she has tons of wigs at home. "You can stop, you know." Juno's brain tumor makes her unpredictable most days. She's much less tactful than she used to be.
The roads are icy, which makes Ciel feel anxious. "Stop what?"
"Babying me." Juno pushes hair out of her face, pointedly ignoring her brother and his efforts. "You can stop acting like I'm this fragile person whose happiness means something to you just because I'm dying." She's never gotten angry with him before. She reminds him of Maria when she's angry. "Just leave me alone. We both know you're trying to be nice because you pity me."
They're lemon cupcakes, Juno's favorite. Bringing this up probably won't change anything now. "Why are you in such a bad mood? I didn't have to make you cupcakes, you know. You sound like Ivo."
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It's not a particularly long drive home, but it's probably too far to walk when the weather is bad. Juno zips her jacket up higher before rolling her dark eyes at the window. "I didn't ask you to do it at all!" She checks her phone, and then kicks snow off her boots onto the carpet. "You all think Ivo is so annoying, but he's the only one who doesn't act like I'm breakable just because I'm dying. You should try it sometime."
The first argument Ciel and Maria ever had was about his mother. Maria hated Anika's overbearing nature and judgmental attitude. Ciel hated Maria's impoliteness toward his mother. As the only boy, Ciel was raised differently than his siblings, and he supposes this ended up being more of a detriment than anything. When Aspen and Juno were learning to cook and nurture for their future spouses, Ciel never knew how to be a caregiver. When Calypso was born, he had no idea how to be a father.
Don't argue with your brother. He's older than you. You should be listening to him.
They drive in silence. Juno stares at her phone, and locks herself inside her room upon arriving home. It's not like her to be antisocial. It's got to be scary for a nineteen year old to know they're on death's doorstep. Stepping outside for a smoke, Ciel pulls his hood over his head. He often thinks about moving somewhere warmer. It's harder than people think it is to just pack up and leave. Plus, there's no way Ciel could afford that.
There's spray paint on the shed walls. Ciel's cousin is a strange boy, and acts nothing like other kids his age. Everyone has different theories as to why this is. He used to be angry about Ivo's vandalism, but he's learned to pick his fights, and that's one that's never worth fighting. There are cigarette butts scattered in the snow around the shed, which he usually picks up without addressing. There's a patch of ice on the door, which is always locked.
"Ivo!"
Ciel knocks. He doesn't have to knock loudly, because Ivo loves silence. He loves his privacy, too. Ciel's mortgage payment is due soon, and he hasn't got it all. It's probably a waste of time to approach Ivo. The boy doesn't respond, and the door stays shut. Ciel knocks again, louder. "Ivo! I need your rent money!" It's embarrassing, having to ask people for help. Before the accident, Ciel couldn't afford to pay the mortgage without Maria. Though he's been saving money, there's always unexpected expenses that come up, and work never pays as well as it should.
There's a record playing. Ivo only listens to folk music, which seems strange. For such a young person, he's very old at heart. The garage door swings open, and Ivo's still dressed in his work clothes, despite getting home hours ago. "Why?"
He's difficult for no reason. Ciel suspects Ivo, like most people, has a lot of unhealed childhood traumas - though he refuses to talk about it, and acts as though his problems are the fault of everyone else. Juno has a theory, she says. Ivo treats people badly on purpose because he likes to be alone. There has to be more to it than that. "I hate having to ask you, but it's hard to manage everything without Maria."
Sometimes, the only way you can get support from people is by making them pity you. It's not nice to admit, but Ciel has played to strangers' heartstrings before. There's always someone who feels obligated to help. Ivo blinks. He's not a boy who feels much sympathy. "You shouldn't have killed her, then." He lights up a cigarette, which is probably Ciel's, and cigarettes aren't cheap. "Your financial burdens are not my responsibility. Go away." He never hesitates. He's insufferable. Ciel wishes he would get deported. It's a miracle he hasn't already.