Juno can't sleep. Some nights, she's in too much pain. Some nights, despite being weak and weary, she just can't seem to shut off her brain. Her bedroom is dark; she sleeps with quiet music playing. This helps distract her from the frightening thoughts that plague her at night. It's always worse at night. These days, Juno doesn't sleep at all. She'll have lots of time for sleeping when she's dead.

Ciel says life is too short to hold grudges. Once in a while, Juno considers forgiving her sister. It should bother her to know that she'll die without making up with Aspen. Aspen's old enough to know what is appropriate to say and what isn't. Aspen's old enough to know that actions have consequences. Juno had an abortion when she was fifteen, after being taken advantage of by a boy she thought loved her. It's hard to overcome betrayal. Juno refuses to die with bitterness. She was driven to a clinic by Ciel, who promised to take her secrets to his grave. Ciel babies her, but at one point, he was the only person Juno could trust. Everyone changes. Juno's spent too much time pointing out the ways everyone else has changed. She's not the same person she was a year ago.

After finding out Juno's biggest secret, Anika insisted she leave the house. This was Aspen's hope all along; envy makes a person ugly, and Aspen missed being the center of attention. Her mother hadn't given her a choice, from this point. She'd called Ciel that very night, and demanded he let Juno live with him. Anika is the type of woman to kick a child out of her home for acting in a way she disapproves of. Juno wonders when it's Aspen's turn.

It's the middle of the night. Juno stands in the middle of the little kitchen, stirring cookie dough in a glass bowl. Music plays from a Bluetooth speaker: not too loudly, as Ciel gets grumpy when he's woken up. Juno's tired of being sick, and of being pitied. People are afraid of death. Nobody ever thinks about their own. There's a fresh bruise on Juno's shin. Her balance is off sometimes, at the worst of times. She's too tired to be awake, and too uncomfortable to sleep. A couple of months ago, she stopped going to treatments, because she'll die anyway, and it feels unnecessary to delay the inevitable. When she was first diagnosed, she was petrified of death. Now, she's kind of looking forward to a pleasant sleep.

After placing her first batch of cookies in the oven, Juno seizes. Her seizures have become more frequent over the past weeks. Some days, it feels like a waste of effort to continue with treatment; Juno feels ill all the time, and it's more fulfilling to live a short, comfortable life than a longer, uncomfortable one. Ivo arrives home from work early in the morning, but usually spends little time inside before retreating to his space in the shed. Juno hates asking for help. Nobody would help her, anyway.

"You're burning the food again."

Sometimes, doing the right thing makes a person feel miserable. You have to respect family, but this doesn't mean you always have to get along with them. "I have a nose, motherfucker. You don't have to point out the obvious." Juno spends so much time around Ivo, she's beginning to sound like him. She always burns things when she's baking. It'd probably be smart for her to stop trying to bake at all.

Ivo always wears a magnifying glass around his neck. He brushes past Juno to a cupboard, which he rummages through loudly, knocking things off of shelves. He won't pick them up. "Look at that. You finally learned how to stand up for yourself. Too bad you'll be dead before you get another chance."

It's wet and windy. Spring always comes later than it should.

It took Juno a long time to come to terms with her illness. In the weeks immediately following her terminal diagnosis, she felt sorry for herself. Before falling ill, Juno was religious, like the rest of her family. The worst argument her mother ever had with Ivo involved religion. Some thoughts taste like poison in your head. Some of the worst poisons come in the form of people you love. When a person is used to mistreatment, they get into the habit of mistreating others. Juno knows this, but it's hard to remember sometimes. You need to fight hate with love, Kida likes to say. Juno should be the bigger person, as they say. There are more satisfying things.

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She removes the burnt cookies from the oven. Ivo looks for his talking timer, which he always puts in the same kitchen drawer. Sneaking her hand into the drawer, Juno takes the timer and places it atop the counter, out of Ivo's reach. "You're right," she says, and walks out of the kitchen.

Like the rest of her siblings, Juno was born in Fairbanks. Her father, an American man, is much older than her mother. According to Anika, he was her university professor, but didn't ask her out until after she'd graduated. This seemed strange to Juno at first. It still seems strange to all her friends. Anika is the second of three children, and she's the only one of her siblings to have left her home country. She came to Alaska in 1992, after finishing secondary school. Juno still isn't sure why. She doesn't know much about her mother's life in Arnhem. Once in a while, Anika will tell a story involving her siblings, and Juno will feel nostalgic for people she'll never meet.

Juno should be asleep. It's early when Kida arrives to pick her up, and Juno's eyes feel heavy. It's hard to maintain a social life when you're ill. She's lost a lot of friends since her diagnosis, and that's just how life works. Kida has been Juno's friend since junior high, and she hasn't grown tired of her yet. This seems strange. Kida is the kind of friend who would show up in the middle of the night if Juno asked her to. She arrives quickly, and parks beside the garage to wait for Juno.

I don't know why I keep trying to help people. I care about everyone else's well-being, but nobody cares about mine.

I know why. It's because you see the good in everybody, even when it isn't there.

Kida is honest and pragmatic. If it weren't for her, Juno would likely have no life left in her at all. "Thanks for picking me up so early." In the winter, Juno wears a hat to keep her head warm, and it makes her sweat. "I just need to get out of here for a while. Everyone's driving me crazy."

Kida wears sunscreen in the winter. She says, with the way the sun glistens on the snow, there's still a chance of being burnt. "Yeah." She smiles crookedly, adjusting her visor. "They always do." Before leaving, Juno didn't tell anyone she was going out. Everyone probably likes it better without her there, anyway. Juno is the only mature one in her entire family.

She sighs. "Ciel's been mad at me since I told him to stop babying me. Ivo's a condescending dick who treats me like an idiot. I feel like I'm living with children." Juno wants to live alone, but no one would allow this. With all the food she burns attempting to cook, she'd probably starve to death.

"Well, you know what they say." Kida shrugs, turning on some music for the drive. "Girls mature faster than boys." Kida lives alone, which Juno envies. On more than one occasion, she's thought about moving in with her. It's a relatively long drive to Kida's house; it's not a small city, and Kida lives quite far east. Long drives make Juno nauseous. So does just about everything else, too. "You can spend a couple days with me if you want. I know how annoying boys can be."

Kida has two younger brothers. She hasn't lived with them in years, but family's always in your life, whether you like it or not. Juno knows this better than most. "I don't have any overnight things." She's not opposed to spending the night with Kida. Nobody knows how much lifetime Juno has left. There's got to be more to it than rotting away at home. The girls met in seventh grade, when Kida introduced herself to Juno after a class they shared together. Juno was a quiet, introverted student. Kida befriended all the outcasts.

"Hi there," Kida had said, approaching Juno at her locker. At the time, she had bright pink hair and an eyebrow piercing, which she's since removed. "My name's Kida. I think you're in my history class. Do you understand what we're learning?"

How do you make friends as an introvert? I can't figure it out.

You don't. You have to wait for an extrovert to adopt you as a friend.

This is how Juno makes most of her friends. In junior high and high school, she had a close-knit group of friends. When she got sick, all of them left except Kida. "Oh, please. How many times have you slept at my house? You know I have extra pajamas and clothes."

When Juno's hair started to fall out from chemo, Kida shaved her own head in support, and Juno cried. "It's just hair," Kida said, rubbing her hands over her prickly, bald head. "I can grow more, but I can't get a new best friend." If it weren't for Kida, Juno would die without being missed by anyone at all.