Some of you know what inspired to be an author but can you guess how many reasons inspired me to write about my life? There are a lots so don’t think that you get all answers. Sometime there is no one correct answer. This is true for many things in this world. Unless we are talking about math or physic because that shit only have one correct answer. Correct answer and not theory so don’t come argue with me when you don’t understand what I said. I fuxking hate people who argue with me without understanding what I mean. I mean come on I talk about apple and you argue about orange. Go fuxk yourself. For those who are understanding what I mean and still on this train then I’m thankful for you. I really don’t like debate on the internet. You call it fancy word like debate but what you are doing is just children quarrel. What kind of stupid fuck think he’s all great when all he’s only debate with stupid college students. You egoistic asshole who wear the mask of genius. I don’t give a fuck about what kind of IQ you have. If you are so great then you should go debate with people on your level. Why do narcissistic people are all over the internet? Why do I need to care whether you attend expensive university? Why do people only judge their degree? I dare you to call me on television and debate with me. I’m going to tear your asshole apart and exposed what kind of selfish person you are. I love dragging people down to my level. Get off your morale highground, you are just a pos like me so don’t pretend to be a saint. Don’t preach about what you can’t do, if you can’t do it yourself then you should the word from teach and preach to what I’m using. It’s call writing down your mistakes so that other won’t repeat it. I’ve been through hell already so I don’t care if I’m going to go through another one. Even if God do exist and throw me into one then I don’t care. I just want a chance to get under your skins and exposed your hypocrisy. Hypocrite is what I hate the most. And I hate many things in this world. I’m a person who is full of hatred, I’m a coward and an asshole. There is a saying that to never go down to the level of crazy. Because those people are the worst. You don’t negotiate with terrorists and you don’t debate with crazies. Trust me it’s never going to turn out well. Avoid toxic and crazies people if you value your sanity. Those kind of people will do anything and drag you down to their level. Just like how I do to my boss yesterday. My current short term goal is to drag my boss down to my level and make her admit her hypocrisy. Fuxk you narcissistic and hypocrite. These two kinds of people are a bunch of the worst. You two are at the top of my list. Asking me to keep my sanity and living normally in this crazy world is the worst. Just like how we can’t undo nuclear bomb, I can’t undo what I learned and realized. That’s why there is a quote call “ignorance is bliss”. Ask yourself what kind of person are you? Are you a 🐑? A wolf in sheep’s clothing? Or a wolf who proud and embracing their identity? I’m a 🐺. I’m a crazy person and a selfish asshole. I don’t want to wear sheep’s clothing and pretend t be normal. Do I want to be cure of ADHD? I do but it’s impossible. You play the cards you are dealt with and since I can’t be cured then it’s time to enjoy it.

You only have one life after all and I decided to live each day as the last day I’m alive. YOLO BABY!!!! I want to try all extreme sports in this world, I want to enjoy all kind of things in this world but I won’t make plan for 5-10 years. In this country that you can die by car accident everyday, that’s too long for me to plan. I rather have my time enjoying the little things in life. For example writing and exposing people, getting under people skins is also one of the things I enjoy. Did I make any of you angry? Answer me. Because this is the very goal of this thing I want. Why is there many controversy in this book? Because I make it that way. If I talk about it to others they only see me as a high school dropout. They only see whether I have a degree or not, only see me as a young asshole, only my illness, only my clothes, only a poor bastard? WHY DID YOU NEVER TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME FIRST BEFORE JUDGING ME?

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Sorry, I’m getting too overheat. I don’t mean to direct it at you on the other side of the screen. After all you are just strangers that I don’t know 😊

Just how you can’t be my friend and how I don’t make relationship, don’t try to make relationship with me. Never meet your idol. One of the important lesson I want to say today is “draw a clear line between actors and theirs work”. Please draw a clear line in your life. For your sanity this is the most important lesson. And for you crazies like me, you should stop caring about everything too much. You only live one life, so live it to the fullest. How do you want to live your life? Ask yourself that question. That’s the most important lesson that took me many years to learn. If you think you are still young and you don’t need to worry then please remember Covid-19 pandemic. Everyone can die at any time by many things. Heck, we are so fragile and flaws that there are infinite amount of things that could kill us. For everyone who read this, do not what others do or say bother you. You will only go crazy if you let others bother you. This lesson is what I realized so late. I really wish I could practice this lesson when I was young. Are there no one who told me that? No, there are many people who told me that. I’m just too stubborn and blind to practice it. For those who always show goodwill to me who read this. I’m really thankful for your important lesson. I never forget those lessons you taught me. Even if I am forgetful I remember all of your name because you are the most important people in my memories. Just like how I remember my 6th grade teacher name and face, I also remember all of your lessons but I can’t mention all of your names here. But remember that your efforts manage to reach this one person. Even if I don’t believe in God, I still pray that He will protect you. Because of your passion and kindness that save me I sincerely hope that you will only find happiness in your life, that you will never change, that no one will bother you. May God bless you. How ironic a sinner pray for God’s protection. I’m really curious about this. Does god answer a non believer praying? No, I don’t force my beliefs on other in church. I only attend so that I could recharge my sanity and happy that there are so many passionate people in this world. Just like how I don’t want to be save, I don’t want to force my beliefs on you either. I respect you and all I ask from you is that you respect me back. Is that too much to ask for? Why is it so hard to get this little respect? Is it because I’m a sinner? Why is it so hard to find someone to understand me? Maybe deep down I do need saving after all. Ah I thought I stop crying anymore …….. maybe I’m afraid of getting hurt that I push everyone away….