I was so wrong… I can’t believe why I did so many things for everyone yet I can’t even find one person who knew me to trust me… I thought if I face it head on then it’s would be okay… I thought I was just half crazy? Why would I let the majority define who am I? I can’t believe the biggest mistake I made is doubting myself and let you drag me down? Why did I tried to humble myself and understand everyone else. Why did I even… I trust that you would understand me when I decide to explain and wrote this book. I can’t believe you people able to convince me of something that I should be proud of. What is the definition of “impossible” and “madness”? You are so convinced of something that you can’t prove, something you said that you believe to be fact. The more I try to get close to you the more my imagination and hope were crash. I trust in you when you aren’t confident in yourself. Do you know my madness if I never reveal it? I thought I went crazy from 11 years old. How foolish of me, I was just someone who too wise for my own good. You gave up on something that you haven’t try and I try everything that consider to be only ideal? Who is the idealist here? Who is the crazy one here? Have you ever research about me? Why are you so confident and convinced of something when you haven’t give it your all? I never had any plan since when I ever have one I always expect… expectations is the worst thing I can do. What is a “hypocrite”? Who is the arrogant one? You are too prideful for people who believe to be someone great. I start from below zero, I was put into situations where consequences always catch up to me. I am someone who are willing to research about millions and billions of people. You will never be able to understand me since you never try to… it’s like I’m just a character in a book I write, each time I realized something I being to question everything. Is there truly a “CREATOR” if there is one then he’s the worst scumbag in the entire universe that I imagine. Sure I might be the most crazy person in the entire history of mankind… is it because I’m crazy? No, from my pov all of you are the crazy one. I never have a plan so I learned to deal with every situations. I am willing to learn and you are the worst scumbag from my pov. How dare you try to drag me down to your level. If it’s mean I must fight the whole world, if it’s mean I will go down in history as the worst being to exist then so be it. Do you think I’m not scared? I’m not lonely? I just say that so I wouldn’t cry every fuxking single time when I thought about it. If I tell a lie long enough then maybe it would become the truth. If I say one lie long enough it would become fact. If you can make an imagination “GOD”, then I’ll tell a lie that would become the truth. A hero and a villain only decide by the majority? I have no political stand, no patriotism, no humanity, no religion. I only believe in myself since it I don’t then who will? If I need to start a cult then so be it. This is the last time I reach to all of you first. I’m someone who confident enough that I either die or decided this world faith. If it’s mean I’m going to be alone like in my nightmare then so be it. If it means I’ll admit that my fuxking dream is reality then fine. If it’s mean my voice will only be heard when I reach the top then so be it. It’s not like I don’t have scars. I just never let it bother me. I don’t have time to waste on useless people who refused my goodwill and judge me before they research what I’m going through. Are we really living in the same reality or am I just a piece of entertainment toward some asshole who giggle and laughing at my misery. The only motivation is proving people wrong. I don’t need to explain everything to you when you already decide how this story end. Nobody in this world know the future. Not even your almighty since every time I read that book, I’m convinced that h the worst existence to every created. Go look through history since it’s so easy to search for it. So simple that I can’t believe we are on the same level. All of you are people lived in a created world and I write mine. If you can’t even admit your mistakes then you will never be able to knew it, if you already pass judgment then you are just sheep. That word fit you so well since most of you only know how to follow instructions and the mass. While here I am going against the history of mankind and creating new one. I could be a messiah or a fake one that you already convinced about. Every time I reach the goal I set then all I feel is emptiness… so let set the goal of destroying the system and fight an impossible war that you convinced me. I live my life by my own principles because I don’t want anything to define me. I’ll only reach out my hand once because no matter how much I explain and reaching out my hand to you, I can’t change your mind if you already pass judgment. It’s just a waste of my time when I’m already so busy. Do you know what is funny? I write this in the heat of the moment and didn’t even bother edit it like always. Why should I when I’m not an expert in it? While you act like an expert in everything that you can’t put into action. You think I’m talking about you specifically? No, dear! Since from my pov most of you are like this. You aren’t the main characters in my book. I AM.

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