Felix quietly climbed into Dawson’s car, still dazed and shaken from the previous events. Dawson started the engine while side-eyeing him. Felix ignored Dawson’s glances for many reasons, one being, that he was embarrassed and he didn’t want to see Dawson’s pity. Dawson wasn’t sure what Felix was thinking, so he asked the dreaded question, “Are you ok?”
Those three simple words were like a needle to a balloon. Felix hiccuped, clenched his fist, then started to sniff. His sniff turned into a whimper, and his whimper into a sob. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and hung his head low, avoiding Dawson’s gaze.
“Felix-”
“Stop!” Felix screeched.
For the first time, Dawson was given an order and followed it. Felix’s cries were transformed into screams. A type of scream Dawson had never heard before, pure terror.
“I'm done! I’m done! I’m fucking done!” Felix sputtered, pulling at his hair.
Dawson chewed at his bottom lip, too scared to speak, too scared of what Felix might do. Felix pulled his knees up to his head and started rocking back and forth, as an attempt at self-soothing. This made the car also rock, which in turn gave Dawson unwanted anxiety. Dawson’s focus on driving was diminishing by the second. He couldn’t possibly pay attention to the road while the car was bouncing, Felix was screaming in his ear, and trying to keep his own tears in check. Dawson pulled the truck over to the side of the road and wrapped Felix in a hug. Felix’s screams went back down into sobs, giving Dawson some sort of relief. With this small victory, Dawson decided it would be a good idea to say something, “It's ok… I understand.”
Felix jerked away from Dawson, pushing him back to the driver's side of the car.
“You understand?!” Felix mocked maliciously, “You don’t understand! You don't understand how much it hurt!”
Dawson ignored the pain in his back and looked at Felix’s blood-shot red angry eyes.
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“...It hurt…?”
“Yes! It felt as if she was ripping my organs apart while they were still in me! Like… Like… Like she was turning me inside out! Then pouring lava on me! It burnt, Dawson! So you don’t understand! You dont understand how badly I wanted to scream in pain! But I couldn’t …I… I couldn’t even fight back… She paralyzed me…” Felix’s voice cracked, “… The pain… I feel like puking just thinking about it…”
Dawson blinked his tears away, wanting to stay tough for Felix.
Blink
Blink
Blink
“What are you doing?” Felix asked, wiping his sore eyes.
Blink
Blink
Blink
Blink
“Why are you blinking so much?” Felix asked once again, this time clearing his scratched throat.
Dawson chewed his lip till he could taste the blood of it in his mouth, still blinking.
The roles were now switched, and Felix asked the one question he despised, “Are you ok?”
Dawson's teeth let go of his lip as a tear fell.
“I am… But…” Dawson breathed in and out, “I’m sorry, I keep getting you into these bad situations. I really don’t want you to be hurt… I don't want someone I love to be hurt. Let’s try to stay alive, ok?”
Felix’s heart skipped a beat at that word, he wasn’t sure why. Dawson reached his hand out, showing Felix he wanted to cradle his face. Felix hesitated a second but finally let Dawson’s warm, tender hand clasp his cheek. Dawson used his thumb to rub Felix’s chin slightly, testing how Felix would respond to it; he continued when Felix closed his eyes and leaned into it. Dawson then maneuvered to his lip, swiping his thumb on it, hoping he would be able to go further. When he was met with open, uncharmed eyes, Dawson knew that was as far as he was going to get.
“Dawson…?”
“Hm?”
“Can you… bring me home now?” Felix asked quietly.
“Oh yeah, “Dawson remembered, starting up the car again, “Of course.”
“Thank you.” Felix felt a slight smile creep onto his lips.
Dawson also had a small smile creep to his lips as he added “Remember what I said, let’s stay alive. Together.”