I wake after precisely two hours, feeling refreshed, but hungry. I think back and realize how long it’s been since I had blood. Sure I’ve eaten other food, but… I’m getting ready to slip out of bed when Lillith’s body jerks. I pause, assuming she will have woken from a fall in a dream or something. Instead, her wings and halo sprout into existence and her whole body begins glowing with a pure golden light. She trembles, and the light and movement wake Twila.
“What do we do?” I ask, trying to keep the note of panic out of my voice. I’ve never seen anything like this. Twila closes her eyes for a second, then opens them again.
“Don’t try to wake her up, it won’t do any good. You can try holding her hand, it, it might help… otherwise she’ll just have to get through it on her own…” She sounds sad, already having cuddled close to Lillith again, combing her hair back from her face. It doesn’t help much, as a wind has started whirling around Lillith’s head, whipping her hair every which way. Twila looks more sad than worried, and I can only hope she knows what’s going on, because I certainly don’t. I hold Lillith’s hand in both of mine, gently running my thumb over her knuckles, trying to impart some strength to her for whatever she is going through. All of a sudden, my hands fly away from her. I look at Twila, but she hasn’t moved. I try to take Lillith’s hand again, but mine are stopped about an inch away from her skin. I start to become frantic, trying to hug her, stroke her hair like Twila is, go intangible, anything, but there’s a bubble surrounding her, and I can’t breach it no matter how hard I try. Twila bites her lip, a tear slipping down her face.
“I’m sorry… I wish I could stop it, but unlike Alastor and you, I have no control over her magic…” She reaches out to me, and I grasp her hand, slightly relieved she can still easily pass through the barrier, but I’m still worried that I can’t. I’m relegated to doing nothing but watching in agony as Lillith’s body keeps shaking.
It feels like it lasts forever, but in reality, it must be only a few minutes before her eyes open and the wind instantly dies. I reach for her and find in relief that I am able to hug her. I pull her close. She is looking around with a dazed expression, not saying anything.
“Are you okay?” I ask, and she blinks and slowly focuses on me, then nods. It’s hesitant, like she’s not quite sure of the answer. I bury my face in her hair, blinking away my tears before she sees them. I hold her to my chest, stroking her shoulder, hair, and back.
“What happened?” I ask her, still hugging her close. She shrugs awkwardly against my chest.
“I think it was a dream. I was defending some people from a scary man who was trying to kill them.” She shrugs again. “It was kinda scary but it was weird, cuz it didn’t feel like me, it was like I was watching someone else. But it was just a dream.”
Twila stirs from beside her, and I look over at her, trying to decipher the expression on her face. It’s strangely uncomfortable, like she has something to say but she’s hoping to avoid saying it. I narrow my eyes at her, reaching out with my mind.
‘Twila… Do you know something Lillith and I don’t?’ She shifts again, not meeting my eyes.
‘That… that wasn’t just a dream…’ Twila says, and Lillith starts, so Twila must have spoken to her too.
“What do you mean it wasn’t a dream?” Lillith asks, looking concerned and confused.
Twila sighs deeply. “That was a memory of your past life. Like what Trigger has been having.” She hesitates, her eyes going unfocused, and I wonder if she’s talking to Alastor. After a moment she speaks again. “We-I mean, I was hoping that you wouldn’t have to deal with the memories, but, if it’s unavoidable…” She shrugs. “The truth is, your life just before this one, well… It wasn’t pretty. You were in a lot of very bad situations. Most of them you put yourself in, trying to help the people around you. You would jump from world to world, providing assistance where you were called for. People started devising traps specifically for you when you showed up time and time again to stop them from hurting innocents. There were a lot of people who didn’t like you interfering. You had a lot of defensive mechanisms yourself.” She glances at me, pausing before she continues. “That shield that popped up was one of them.”
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Lillith looks back and forth between Twila and me. “What shield…?” She asks, sounding afraid for the first time.
“There was a bubble, or something, around you. I couldn’t get through but Twila could.” I see Twila wince again from the corner of my vision, and I remember her apology from earlier about being unable to control Lillith’s magic. I’m assuming she feels bad she could get through the shield when I couldn’t. I reach over and rub Twila’s shoulder comfortingly.
“I don’t blame you. I’m sure you being her pact companion means you can get through the shield, even when no one else can. I know you would have done something if you could have.” She smiles weakly at me before hugging Lillith. I’m getting a weird feeling from her, but when I ask Alastor, he assures me that nothing is going on and I am overreacting from my worry about Lillith. I can feel him tapping around in my brain again before a feeling of relief slowly washes over me and Alastor hums in satisfaction.
‘There is no need for you to be so worried about Lillith. She is completely fine. Should anything serious happen in the future, you have my word that I will do anything necessary to protect her.’ I take a deep breath before letting it out slowly. He’s right, of course. If Alastor is looking out for Lillith, there’s hardly any reason to worry. He might even be able to protect her from these dreams, now that I consider it. I ask him as soon as the thought occurs to me, but he hesitates.
‘Even if she were to allow me access to her mind in such a way, I’m not sure it would be wise. These dreams are not without their purpose.’ Alastor says, and a shiver runs down my back. Why does that sound so ominous? He just told me that these dreams have a purpose behind them. That means they’re not all bad. I realize what it is a moment later. He never claimed the purpose was a good one. I trust Alastor, but it sometimes creeps me out just a little that he can manipulate everything I see and feel, and possibly even think. Then again, if he could control my thoughts, I couldn’t doubt him, right? Unless he planted that doubt to make me think he can’t control my thoughts and therefore I’d trust him more… I push the decidedly disturbing thoughts away, returning my attention to Lillith. Twila is pressed against her other side, both of us hugging Lillith tightly. Lillith squirms away just far enough that she can look up and see my face.
“I feel fine…” She says slowly, and I can’t tell if she’s trying to reassure me or herself. I look her over carefully, wanting to believe her.
“You’re sure?” I ask finally, and she nods.
“Really. I mean, my heart was pounding pretty hard, and the dream was scary, but nothing hurt me or anything. It was just… unsettling. I guess it makes sense that it was a memory. Parts of it felt strangely familiar.” She rolls her shoulders in a half-shrug, and I slowly nod too. I tuck her head into my shoulder and slowly lay back on our pillows.
“Alastor says there might be a purpose to these memory-dreams,” I say after a moment or two of silence. Lillith nods slowly against my chest.
“I suppose, I mean there might be…” She sounds a bit doubtful, but she seems to be considering it at least. “Do you want me to tell you about the dre- I mean, memory?” She asks. I think for a moment.
“If there is a purpose behind what is revealed, we may be better able to figure it out together,” I say at last, and she nods again, firmer this time, before launching into a much more detailed description of her dream. I listen thoughtfully, my brain already trying to spiral down into a deeper meaning when she yawns and cuddles closer to me.
“I’m pretty sleepy…” She mumbles into my chest and I chuckle as I stroke her hair.
“Go ahead and sleep, sweetheart. I’ll be here when you wake up.” She mumbles something else before her body slowly melts into mine and her breathing evens. I sigh and look over to see Twila is also asleep. I settle into the pillow to consider Lillith’s dream. I need to get blood at some point, but I won’t leave until after Lillith has woken again. I don’t think she’d have another dream tonight, but what do I really know? Mine haven’t come so close together, but mine also happen when I’m awake usually.