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journal teleport science something
trying to think of every way a human might donk up a situation is the most exhausting thing

trying to think of every way a human might donk up a situation is the most exhausting thing

i got ant problems

thank goodness

something i can deal with without feeling like my guts are going to crawl up through my throat and explode out of my mouth and strangle me

which is what i refer to as

the human mood

i mean i got human problems too

i am going to rant the flip out about them

but first

ants

so the suburban ants have stopped coming. which means. probably. they are prepping for antsiege.

there are two big problems there

first is that i don't actually know where the suburban ant hive is

second is that suburbland probably has humans as well as ants

so combining those two problems you get one ultraproblem

that is

finding and destroying suburbland hive means more humans to come and bother me

on the other hand

if there are humans in that area and also ants

i can probably assume that ants are eating humans over there

so

the thing is

i feel bad about that

i mean

i don't want ants to be eating humans

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specifically not this little human right here

but also in a general sense

so

so

man why am i in this ridiculous position. why can't people sort out their own problems. i do not feel protective about humans. do i? no. i just don't want to feel bad about ants eating humans when maybe

i could have done something

to stop that happening

could i maybe just cut out the part of my brain that is causing these badfeelings. is that a solution.

haven't had such a good track record with selfbrainmods though

kind of wary of that whole area

well for now let's just think about some good stuff

like how the tea room is finished and looking pretty good. if i do say so myself. i made a dimensional fold for hot water. hooked it to a little jug thing. infinite hot water jug. put some coffee and cocoa and hot chocolate in the room. and biscuits. lots of those. and of course a teapot of infinite tea. hooked it in to my hot tea dimension. cute little table. red and white tablecloth. chairs. mugs. plates. doilies. all very clearly labelled so no confusion. everything a tea room needs. also a bunch of pillows for entrance. tested out the portal on myself. works pretty good. kind of fun. got roboarm caught on pillows but that is not a problem a regular human would have to deal with. haven't made any kind of sleep dart or stasis thing or whatever. did get the syncing time down to five seconds which is. better. but not. ideal.

distraction protocols also in place. antcandy launchers. buzzer drone dispensers. all linked up to a nice big friendly button by the door with a label saying 'press this button when you want to leave'. thought about doing more explanation. but then i was like. no. make it as simple and straightforward as possible. these are humans you are dealing with here jin. so because of that i also put another smaller button on the other side of the door. that one is labelled 'do not press'. it's hooked in to the same distraction protocol as the big button. there's also a thing that gets unlocked by a hidden key and behind that there's another thing that only opens once you complete a sliding panel puzzle. and then behind all that is a secret button. which is also hooked in to the same protocol as the other buttons. just covering my bases here. humans are. paradoxical. contrary. you always have to consider the possibility that any given human is. y'know. a complete idiot dick.

also the door doesn't open unless a button gets pressed

i don't want to throw around terms like foolproof

because some fool is definitely going to donk this up

but

i feel like i've done all i can

in this situation

v nervous about using tea room teleportal on live target

i've got a pouch full of little teleport anchors i can place or throw

also emergency teleport anchor launcher on roboarm

might do the multianchor thing

just scatter them everywhere

do multiple syncs in different patterns

so that at least one can port the human to the tea room

i mean that's kind of brute force

but

i don't know

at least i have one mechanism in place to deal with human encounters

and of course i have lots of things to deal with ants

so here i go

off to deal with ants

and if i meet a human

well

there's stuff i can do in that situation also

good?