well first let's go with the good news
who has one thumb and is slightly more pirate now than she was yesterday
trying to think of some way to indicate that i'm pointing at myself with my single human thumb
my other thumb got eaten by an ant
that happened a while ago
gotten pretty used to this roboarm
robarm
rob, the arm
slightly less impressed with losing an eye. that is not such a fun time. by the way do you want to know what is also not a fun time?
acid
acid is not a fun time
i have not invented a robot eye. i have not got a robot eye lying around. for now, eyepatch. i am a pirate. arr.
let's have some more good news
the hive is dead
the hive is so dead
i tore that thing to pieces and stomped on the bits. triple vortex bomb attack. everything worked good. shardrifle, good. buzzer drones, good. superhammer drones, good. swordgun, surprisingly good. wave motion fireball blast droneglove, very good in a crisis situation. like having an acid ant come out of nowhere and vomit on you. and pop through all your shields. and acid your face.
minimap. minimap. minimap not so good.
minimap works by detecting antgutgem antigrav wave
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
acid ants do not have antgutgems
two dots i completely failed to connect
cost: one eye
also some face
how do acid ants work. if they don't have antgutgems. theory was that antigrav nonsense stops giant ants from just imploding or whatever. all that square cube law ignoring crap. but if acid ants don't have gems and don't make antigrav field then what. is acid superlight or something. no. it is not. so what the heck. i mean acid ants are smaller than other ants. quite a bit smaller. maybe should have noticed that. as a thing. anyway i captured one. acid ant i mean. squished its face but its still twitching. got a bunch of other ants too. they followed me back here. after i emergency teleported out of there. did remember to dump all my aggbys first. i award myself a prize for clarity of thought while face is melting. reward: not killing self with accidental aggby/teleportal vortex interaction. i accept this award and would like to thank #1 drone and her superhammer minions. bravely sacrificing themselves in my name to cover my retreat. they will be missed. until i make identical replacements.
phew
what a day
you know what you don't really notice until it's gone?
half your face
on the good side of things #4 is so close. i know that's pretty small on a cosmic scale but i miss that guy. who knows how things would have gone if he was there to back me up. instead of getting my face melted i could have had my shins exploded by a wayward crudball. anyway i'm looking forward to seeing the little stinker. with my one remaining eye. sorry to keep going on about that. kind of occupies your headspace. what's left of it anyway.
other stuff. sending out scavenger drone crews to pick over the hive remains. don't know if they'll find anything. don't know if there was like a queen ant or anything. might have cheated my way past a boss fight there. might have to focus on more area effect weapons. can't just do this artisanal antmurder. each ant murdered by hand to the highest quality. no. soulless mass produced antdeath is the way of the future.
also
antbrains
yes
let's get inside these insects heads
figure out what makes them tick
and then exploit that
to punish them
dominate them
befriend them
and then betray them
no more sad scientist
time for
bad scientist
no wait
that just sounds like i'm rubbish at sciencing
well i'll think of a badass line later. right now i've got so much work to do. got another local hive to take out. waterfactory. next on my list. can't delay these things. have to get back on that horse. i mean i still got both legs and every single internal organ. and one eye and one arm. that is what i call beating the average.
but for now maybe just a cup of tea and a sit down
and then a little nap
and first of course some more lovely lovely painkillers. the real heroes here.