It had been a few days since Gargoyle and Faery Fire had been teleported to Japan. In that time, Faery Fire had done an impromptu stream on her phone, claiming it was some kind of vacation. This had gotten the duo enough money to rent a nice hotel room for a week, and her superheroine costume shipped to her, and Faery Fire had spent her time mapping out tourist destinations. Shopping malls, beautiful vistas, cultural villas, even down to local street foods.
“Shouldn’t we be trying to get back home?” Gargoyle asked.
“Uhh, yes,” Faery Fire said, lost in her scheduling, “But, I just thought that- eh, you know. Until then, we might as well have some fun.”
“That is something you do, isn’t it?” Faery Fire asked, pausing to look up at Gargoyle. “Have fun?”
“Not while I’m on the job,” Gargoyle grumbled, “And as long as I’m wearing the suit, I’m on the job.”
“You haven’t taken that suit off in two days,” Faery Fire remarked, “Aren’t you sweaty in all that”?
“That’s not the point,” Gargoyle said.
“And that’s not a no,” Faery Fire retorted, “Look, you really should take a shower. Or at least the mask.”
“For the last time,” Gargoyle said, “I am not compromising my secret identity. I have-”
“People you care about that you need to protect,” Faery Fire recited, “Yes, I’ve heard it all before. And if those people are anything like you, they’re all grumpy jerks.”
“Don’t you have work to be doing?” Gargoyle asked.
“Of course, I’m working on planning out my vacation here,” Faery Fire said, “I’ve always wanted to visit! And, there are a lot of very famous heroes and heroines here. I know it’s just wishful thinking, but I would love to meet them. I could get sponsored. I could even get a record deal!”
“You sing?” Gargoyle asked.
“And draw, and play the piano,” Faery Fire said, “I’ve been working on learning the violin and dancing.”
“I’ve been working on being a superhero,” Gargoyle said.
“Well, you’re getting really good at it,” Faery Fire said, “Especially your gruff super hero voice. I can barely understand you under that gravel you’re gargling. Now come on, I want to tour some of the local temples. You can hold the camera.”
“Why,” Gargoyle demanded.
“Because, like it or not,” Faery Fire said, “I’m the one paying for everything here. The least you could do is hold the camera.”
Faery Fire led Gargoyle down to a subway station, chatting with people all the way. For all that Faery Fire talked to him about how much people complimented her on fluent japanese, how everyone seemed to like her and told her how beautiful she was, Gargoyle didn’t understand a single word of any conversation he’d heard in the past couple of days. He couldn’t read a single letter on any sign he saw. For all he knew, Faery Fire was blatantly lying to him. She probably wasn’t, but Gargoyle still kept that in the realm of possibility.
Faery Fire stood in front of some kind of temple, an ornate place with rock gardens and a burbling river traveling nearby. Faery Fire talked to a few people, explaining to Gargoyle that she was explaining to them that she was planning to host a short livestream on site.
After practicing her opening for much longer than Gargoyle wanted to film B reel for, including an outtake where the wind blew her hair into her face, Faery Fire finally started her livestream.
“Hi and howdy, foxy friends,” Faery Fire said, unable to see Gargoyle sneer or roll his eyes under his mask, “Today we’re visiting the Shinto Shrine of-”
Gargoyle didn’t know what Faery Fire called the place, and honestly he didn’t care. His only job here was to hold the camera, not to think about whatever nonsense she was spewing. So, instead of thinking about how Faery Fire was posing herself, Gargoyle decided to think about barbeque.
Mmm, yes. Dry rubbed smoked overnight with cherry and hickory wood. Pulled pork sliders with Alabama white sauce and coleslaw. Fried chicken wing pops with-
“There’s some guy behind you,” Gargoyle said, pointing past Faery Fire.
“Ahaha, yes there’s plenty of visitors to the shrine,” Faery Fire said, working cheer into her voice as she pushed Gargoyle’s hand out of frame.
“Well, that one has horns and blue skin,” Gargoyle said, “And he just walked out of the ocean.”
The man Gargoyle was pointing at was a head taller than him, a thick body of powerful muscles topped with a bald head. His dark blue skin had black, tribal tattoos running all across his body, moving in odd, angular patterns.
“Huh?” Faery Fire remarked, turning to look at what Gargoyle was pointing at, “Oh! That’s the blue oni, brother of the red oni.”
“He looks angry,” Gargoyle said.
“Ah, I wish I could remember more Japanese folklore,” Faery Fire grumbled, “I think you’re supposed to throw beans at them. Or rice, maybe?”
"Right," Gargoyle grumbled.
People were screaming and running, the oni bellowed a challenge and raised his heavy, spiked club. Gargoyle raced for the oni, who locked eyes with Gargoyle and bellowed insults at him.
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The club tore through the air, but Gargoyle ducked to one side and landed a quick punch to the oni's kidney. Gargoyle's hand rang in pain, the oni's skin stopped Gargoyle like it was made of steel. The oni let out a roaring laugh as Gargoyle cradled his hand, and Gargoyle caught the oni with a low kick.
The oni lifted the club again, only for Gargoyle to close in and elbow the man across the chin. Gargoyle saw the man briefly stagger as his elbow cut across his jaw, and Gargoyle pivoted and smashed a powerful left hook across his face, following the punch with a roundhouse kick. The oni caught the kick in a crushing grip, and Gargoyle leapt up, twisting in the oni's grip, and slammed his heel into the oni's fingers.
Gargoyle spun to land on his feet, backing away from the oni. "Faery Fire!" Gargoyle commanded, "Get the people out of-" Faery Fire was busy filming something, it had the sparkle and shine of a psychedelic trip. Faery Fire was giggling and squealing like a schoolgirl.
"One thing at a time," Gargoyle muttered, focusing back on the oni. Gargoyle had intended the hook and roundhouse to be a knockout blow, but the oni was still steady on his feet. Gargoyle kept close, parrying and ducking the iron club and striking with low kicks. The club slammed into the ground, inches from Gargoyle, and Gargoyle landed a low kick. The club whipped over his head, and Gargoyle landed a low kick. The oni roared in fury, and Gargoyle landed a low kick. The oni swung high, shifting to a sweep as Gargoyle moved to duck it. The spiked club crashed into Gargoyle, sending him sprawling across the beach. The heads up display on his helmet warned of critical damage on the side Gargoyle had been struck. The oni stomped towards Gargoyle, digging a line across the sand as he swung. Gargoyle rolled backwards, rising to his feet as the oni spun around and swung again. Gargoyle hopped over the club, catching the oni in the face with a palm strike. Gargoyle shoved his hand upward, snapping the oni's nose. The oni clutched a hand over his bleeding nose, and Gargoyle kicked him in the shin again.
The oni finally shifted back, favoring his injured leg and snarling at Gargoyle. As the oni raised his spiked club, Gargoyle lunged for the oni's leg. Gargoyle lifted and pivoted, forcing the oni to balance on his injured leg as Gargoyle slammed him into the sand.
Gargoyle scrambled forward, straddling the oni. Gargoyle attacked with hooks, hammer strikes, elbows, jabs, and upper cuts. Gargoyle's fist cut across the oni's brow, splitting skin and oozing blood down into his eye. Against Gargoyle's onslaught, the oni's eyes began to swell shut as Gargoyle pushed the knuckle of his index finger out for eye gouges.
The oni swiped wildly, and Gargoyle caught the oni's fingers and snapped them backwards. The creature roared in fury, spittle spraying across Gargoyle’s faceplate as the oni snarled curses at him. Gargoyle raised a fist-
And a shimmering, pearlescent beam of light coated Gargoyle and the oni. The sensor suite in Gargoyle’s suit went dark, and beneath him the oni melted into the stream of light. When the light faded, Gargoyle was sitting on the sandy beach and Faery Fire was giggling happily nearby.
“You could have done that all this time?” Gargoyle asked, pointing an accusing finger at Faery Fire.
“No!” Faery Fire said, “Gargoyle, I’d like-”
“Could you have helped at all?” Gargoyle asked.
“You were doing fine,” Faery Fire assured him.
“And what were you doing?” Gargoyle demanded.
“I,” Faery Fire said proudly, haughtily placing a hand over her chest, “Was filming the transformation sequence for the Sensational Sword Saint Sailors!”
“The who?” Gargoyle asked.
“I- they-” Faery Fire sputtered, “The biggest magical girl team in Japan? Does that ring any bells?”
“Nope,” Gargoyle remarked.
“Argh! Listen,” Faery Fire said, jabbing a finger at Gargoyle, “This magical girl team is huge! They have record labels, concerts, posters, statuettes, merchandise! If I can network with them, I’ll be making bank! I won’t have to rely on donations for new superhero gear!”
“So, we can get back to The States?” Gargoyle asked.
“We could probably get a private island,” Faery Fire said.
“Buy me a plane ticket first,” Gargoyle said, looking at the five girls in matching sailor uniforms, each one its own color with a unique accessory. Ornate swords were floating around them. Gargoyle thought they looked young, younger than Faery Fire to say the least. Then again, he thought everyone here looked young, except for the people who looked old. Their uniform was similar to school girls Gargoyle had seen, except the schoolgirl uniform reached to the mid calf while their skirts ended in frills and lace mid thigh.
“I’ll do that,” Faery Fire, “So: this is Sword Saint Blue, Masamune, Sword Saint Red, Sword Saint Yellow, Sword Saint Green, and Sword Saint Pink. I'm hoping to run a collaboration with them!”
“You don’t have a sword that flies around you,” Gargoyle said, “And what was that light?”
“Only their signature team attack, Five-Fold Legend Slash,” Faery Fire said, an excited squeal working into her voice, “Ooh! I’m so glad I got that on film! A live recording of the Five-Fold Legend Slash? This is some serious internet celebrity material right here! I cannot wait to edit in my live reaction!”
“What was your reaction to that?” Gargoyle asked.
“To gleefully keep quiet and film the thing,” Faery Fire said, “I already said, I’ll add my live reaction later. Probably add a filter over the video to brighten the colors and color the sky blue.”
“Isn’t it supposed to be a live reaction?” Gargoyle asked.
Faery Fire gave him a look.
“Alright, alright,” Gargoyle said, “Look, if you’re going on a play date with a bunch of magical girls, I’m heading back to the hotel.”
“It’s not a play date,” Faery Fire protested, “It’s a business meeting! Networking!”
“Whatever,” Gargoyle grumbled.
“And if you’re going back to the hotel, take a shower!” Faery Fire barked.
“I’m not taking the suit off, and I’m not revealing my secret identity,” Gargoyle said, “I’m a professional, not some giggling fan girl.”
“Hey!” Faery Fire barked, “I did not giggle.”
Gargoyle crossed his arms, glaring through his black faceplate.
“Alright, I might have giggled a little bit,” Faery Fire admitted, “But seriously, you should take a shower. You’re starting to smell, and I can only guess that you reek inside that suit.”
That was true, but Gargoyle wasn’t about to admit it.
As Gargoyle strode off, Faery Fire turned to face the assembled magical girl team.
“So,” Faery Fire said in as perfect Japanese as she could muster and reminding herself that this was not playdate, “Who here wants to go for karaoke?”
The magical girls looked at each other, Sword Saint Blue making a quick call as Sword Saint Pink looked hopefully at her.
"Of course," Sword Saint Blue said.