It took Gamer Man a few sleepless nights, but he had finally done it. Probably. Gamer Held the picture of the summoning scroll the wizard had given him up to his monitor. It looked correct. Then he made a photocopy of the scroll and took a picture of the program he had written the scroll into, comparing both of them in an overlap. It looked corrected. Probably. Hopefully. Then Gamer Man had a program compare the two pictures. It was a one hundred percent match. At least, according to the machine.

Finally, Gamer Man wrote the summoning phrase and hoped he wasn’t about to get possessed.

“Conjure!” Gamer Man declared.

For a moment, nothing seemed to happen. Then, for a while nothing seemed to happen. Then, Gamer Man checked the diagnostic for the brain scanning program, and found no change. Then, on the off chance it had actually worked, Gamer Man put on the power frame.

Gamer Man felt the presence, one that would bend to his command and enact his will, immediately. Gamer thought about the frame moving with him, linking up to his power armor so they could fight as one. The power frame did that, and Gamer Man that the power frame moved with him perfectly, adding its considerable strength to his jumps, dives and swings. Gamer Man thought about the suit detaching from him so they could fight as a pair, and with some work the power frame disconnected itself from him. Gamer Man could feel the consciousness in the power frame, connected to his very thoughts. Gamer Man went through combat drills, and the power frame mimicked Gamer Man at first, then changed its approach to better cover Gamer Man. The power frame attacked in between Gamer Man’s swings, doubling up offense and covering blocks.

It made Gamer Man feel masculine, powerful, intoxicated, commanding, but more than anything it made Gamer Man feel giddy. He fought back a laugh, one he ultimately failed to contain. He had done it. The sleepless nights of comparing individual pixels on the various fonts and characters to perfect the summoning sign had been worth it. He had done it!

The summoning sign wasn’t the only thing Gamer Man had been working on. His encounter with Hell Seeker had taught Gamer Man an important lesson. It wasn’t that getting beaten around like a ragdoll hurts like crazy and makes planning nearly impossible, that was circumstantial. If Gamer Man was going to continue working as a superhero, he was going to need better weapons. His stun baton had been replaced with a heavier variant, something closer to a metal bat than a telescoping baton, and his other hand carried a thick bracer made of metal plates that could spin out into a shield that kept his hand free. He had also been taking his training more seriously, working on his stick fighting and learning how to fight with a shield. He’d like to see Hell Seeker try to beat him around like a ragdoll now!

Hopped up on confidence, Gamer Man decided it was time to patrol.

“Hope you saved recently, evil doers,” Gamer Man said, chuckling to himself, “Cause I’m about to be your final boss.”

It had been a quiet afternoon at Lawry and Sons Lending and Gold, and Marcus had enjoyed it. Then, one of the local heroes showed up looking for a fight. Not down in South Kingshead, mind you, but at Lawry and Sons Lending and Gold and the wealthy neighborhood it was connected to. Since then, Marcus had to explain to Gamer Man that nobody was trying to steal their gold. Yes. Really.

“What about him?” Gamer Man asked, pointing to Night Walker.

“Why would I steal gold?” Night Walker asked, typing away on his phone.

“Because it’s gold, duh,” Gamer Man explained, “It looks rich and it makes you feel rich.”

“I already am rich,” Night Walker said.

“Sure you are,” Gamer Man said.

“No really,” Night Walker said, “I don’t pay for food, heating, sewage, or water. The only thing I have connected to my house is electricity.”

“Please,” Gamer Man huffed, “Are you funneling gold farmers or something?”

“I don’t know what that means,” Night Walker said, “But I know I’m a vampire. I don’t feel heat or cold, I don’t eat food, my body no longer produces waste so I don’t need to bathe. The hair gel keeping my hair slicked back? I’ve had that in there for three weeks.”

Gamer Man started running numbers in his head, humming and hawwing as he added up his own bills.

“Can I be a vampire?” Gamer Man asked.

“No,” Night Walker said, “I must resist ‘The Hunger’ at all times, lest I fall to the beast. Besides, I never checked if I can actually turn people.”

“Knowing my luck, I’d probably just get stuck as a dhampir anyway,” Gamer Man mused.

“Are you going to just stand there making up words all day?” Marcus demanded, “Or do you have actual business to handle.”

“Huh? Oh, no, a dhampir is a vampire’s thrall, partly turned when the vampire drinks blood,” Gamer Man explained, “They’re actually-”

“I do not care,” Marcus said, “I have other customers to attend to. If you’re going to stay here, you may wait in the lobby, and do not eat our mints. Those are for customers only.”

“You there!” Erik the wizard announced, the Wizard’s Guild ambling into Lawry and Sons, “I sense arcane power in this place. Turn it over at once!”

“Hey," Night Walker whispered to Marcus, “Tell boss man that there’s not really much I can do to these people.”

“Do we actually know if that thing does anything?” Johnson the wizard demanded, “Dragging all of us down here. You know I have work to do!”

“It never sensed any arcane power in me,” Ronald the wizard grumbled.

“That’s cause you haven’t got any,” Paul the wizard sneered, “Riding our coattails, that’s all you’re good for.”

“Everybody shut up!” Marcus the wizard demanded, “Erik, this… thing of yours had better work.”

“It does work!” Erik the wizard answered, “It detects magical powers, and it led me here.”

“So we know it doesn’t work, then,” Paul the wizard said, “We’re the only people on the whole planet with magical powers.”

“I bet it detects your fat gut,” Ronald the wizard chimed in.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“You’re one to talk,” Erik the wizard spat.

“I think I can help you,” Gamer Man said, offering a hand to the wizards, “If you’ll follow me outside, I can explain.”

“You’re trying to hide your arcane secrets from us!” Johnson the wizard accused.

“More like I’m trying to hide my loot drops from everyone else,” Gamer Man said, “Trust me, I can help you. Right this way.”

Gamer Man could practically feel the stares as he led the wizards down an abandoned alley. Or at least, the closest, most abandoned alley he could find in the nicer part of Kings Head. When he turned around, Gamer Man was surprised he couldn’t feel the angry glares from the assembled wizards.

“So,” Gamer Man started, “It’s from this part of the armor here, the new frame. I got a scroll that can summon spirits, and bound a spirit into the armor to use as a neural uplink.”

“Liar!” Ronald shouted.

“I’m not lying,” Gamer Man said, “I also have a ring of haste on this hand, and a ring of regeneration on this hand. I also have-”

“Liar!” Ronald repeated.

“I’m being serious,” Gamer Man said.

“You’re lying!” Ronald said. To Gamer Man’s surprise, he had made Ronald so angry that the wizard had thrown a punch at him. Ronald, a portly man who had never been in a fight in his life, yelped as his wrist rolled against Gamer Man’s armor.

“We are masters of the arcane!” Ronald demanded, “We command forces beyond your understanding! The laws that physics bend to! And you! You presume to bind them to mere trinkets!”

“Oh, no,” Gamer Man said, “I didn’t make the magic rings. But, I can take you to the people that did.”

“How?” Marcus demanded.

“With another magic item,” Gamer Man explained.

The wizard watched as a familiar portal opened up next to him. Artificer walked out, along with some other people.

“Hey,” the artificer said, “Why’re you in a big hole?”

“We’re trying to dig deep enough,” the fighter said, tossing a shovel to Artificer.

“Deep enough?” the artificer asked, “Isn’t it usually digging too deep?”

“No, see, we’re trying to dig deep enough to find things that people who dig too deep find,” the barbarian explained.

“You don’t need help getting out of here?” the artificer asked.

“It’s just a big hole,” the rogue said, “Who’re they?”

“Oh,” Gamer Man explained, “They call themselves The Wizard’s Guild.”

“I didn’t know this place had a wizard’s guild,” the wizard said, eyeing the wizards, “Not much of one, by the looks of it.”

“You dare mock me?” Paul the wizard demanded, “Just who are you?”

“I’m the wizard,” the wizard said.

“We’re the only wizards around here,” Marcus the wizard said, conjuring a spell behind his back, “Get Lost!”

The wizard blinked away as a bolt of arcane power struck him, and for a moment Gamer Man thought he had made a huge mistake. Then the wizard returned, wiping sand off his robes.

“That’s-” the wizard said.

“Get Lost!”

“An-” the wizard knocked ice from his hat.

“Get Lost!”

“Interesting-” the wizard stomped out a fire on his boot.

“Get Lost!”

“Spell,” the wizard said, rubbing slime off his fingers.

“Get Lost!” Marcus the wizard declared, casting the spell once more.

The wizard did not move. There was nowhere left to get lost.

“Hmm, it doesn’t induce interplanar transit?” the wizard noted, “Well, that just takes a minor alteration. Simple, really.”

“Inter-what?” Erik the wizard asked.

“Here, try to counter spell this,” the wizard said, drawing a glowing magic rune in the air.

“Counter spell? Counter spell!” Johnson the wizard demanded, “We change fundamental, specific aspects of reality, and you want us to find a way to counter that?”

“It’s a spell taught early,” the wizard explained, “For that exact reason. What tower did you go to? If they’re not teaching counter spell, I’d recommend a new school.”

“We don’t have wizard towers,” Gamer Man said, “Or magic schools of any kind.”

“I thought not,” the wizard said, “This place is way too quiet to have a wizard’s tower. Where’d you learn wizardry then?”

“We’re self taught,” Marcus the wizard explained, “All of us.”

“Oh, that changes things,” the wizard said, looking worried for the first time since Gamer Man had met him.

“Does it?” Gamer Man asked.

“Of course,” the wizard answered, “You have a bunch of people changing fundamental, specific aspects of reality with no guidance. That can turn bad really quickly. I’m surprised this hasn’t broken something already.”

“How?” Gamer Man asked.

“Okay, so you were telling me about that one thing,” the wizard said, “I think you called it ‘coding,’ or something. You kept talking about how everything needed to be really specific or it wouldn’t work? Imagine trying to change that while living inside of it.”

“So, are we just supposed to not study magic then?” Erik the wizard asked, “Is that your bright idea? Keep all the arcane secrets to yourself?”

“Of course not,” the wizard said, conjuring his own version of the Get Lost spell, “My idea is to do this. Never Return!”

Gamer Man blinked away the spots in his eyes after the wizard cast his spell. The Wizard’s Guild was gone, little spots of burning dirt where they once stood.

“Did you kill them?” Gamer Man asked.

“What? No!” the wizard said, “They didn’t die.”

Marcus the wizard wanted to die. That wizard, the wizard, had cast a spell that Marcus struggled to comprehend. It felt like he was everywhere. Every color of light burned itself into Marcus’ eyes, including dozens he had never seen before and hoped he would never see again. Marcus didn’t know how long this had been happening for, and hoped that he wasn’t time travelling. He could feel everything, see everything, he could even smell everything, and it felt like he had been doing it forever.

“I just sent them away,” the wizard explained, “To somewhere they’ll never return from.”

Grass was beneath Marcus’ feet, and a lazy wind drifted through his greasy hair. Ronald was there, so was Erik, Johnson, and Paul.

“What-” Marcus grunted, “What was that? Did you lot feel that?”

“Where are we?” Paul demanded, “I have- I have important experiments to- What is that?”

“That” was a wizard’s academy. A tall, sprawling, opulent castle. In front of the castle was a wood carved sign as tall as a person declaring “The Greatest’s Wizard Academy”. The letters had been painted a bright blue, except for the “‘s” which was just bare wood.

A man appeared. He did not walk up, or float down, or pull his way up through the earth. He simply appeared.

“Hello gentlemen, my name is Theodore Greatest, arch wizard,” Greatest said, “Tell me, were you sent here by a man calling him The Wizard?”

“Yuh- Yes,” Marcus said, “Yes, we were.”

“Ah, he was our greatest student,” Greatest said, “A wizard of unmatched skill, knowledge, or ego. Shame about that last bit. Anyway, how would you gentlemen like to learn magic? We have textbooks, curriculums, classes, teachers, room and board, and a cafeteria stocked with delicacies from across the many planes.”

Marcus needed to wipe the drool from his mouth at the mention of textbooks. As far as anyone in the Wizard’s Guild cared, the rest of it was just icing on top. Memories of long nights spent trying to develop spells through brutal trial and error, unsure if they were anywhere near discovering a new spell, came in odd relief. They were going to have books, instruction, structured learning! Nobody in the Wizard’s Guild knew why they would ever return.