That night, Faery Fire’s stomach twisted into knots. She hadn’t asked Gargoyle a thing, and it made her feel like a coward. This was what she always wanted! She could have kids now! She could be a mother. It was too much and too soon. What did Gargoyle’s daughter think about her dating Gargoyle? Why didn’t Gargoyle tell Faery Fire he had a daughter?

“Because you didn’t ask, duh,” Faery Fire grumbled.

What would the Sailor’s think if she started trying to date Gargoyle? How would that change the relationship between her and the Sailors? Would they grow jealous of her and Gargoyle? Would they grow distant? Would they try to break Faery Fire and Gargoyle apart? Would they try to push them together, even if Gargoyle didn’t want that? Would the Sailor’s fans think this was some cheap publicity stunt? Would the Sailor’s managers even allow it? Faery Fire had the paperwork to adopt the Sailors, she held onto it for a while now, but was that too much too soon? Some of those girls were almost out of highschool, nearly adults already. What would they think if some women started demanding they call her mother? They had an entire life without Faery Fire, why would they want that now?

“Stupid Claire,” Faery Fire grumbled, “Stupid magical healing.”

Before it was easy for Faery Fire to give up on her dreams of motherhood and starting a family. She couldn’t do it, it was simply impossible. When the dream could only ever be a distant dream, how much could it hurt to surrender something that couldn’t be real? But now, Claire had, in classic Claire fashion, wrenched her body back together and slammed the news into her. Now, the dream could be a reality, and that long dormant dream weighed heavy on her.

Faery Fire’s thoughts tossed, turned, and toiled in her head as she tried to lay still in bed. She had been trying to sleep for hours now, her body aching for sleep, her brain aching for silence, and her heart aching for answers. This, Faery Fire decided, snapping her eyes open, wasn’t working. She needed to talk to someone, to find something else to focus her mind on. Faery Fire slowly disentangled herself from Pink, hoping to not wake the young girl up.

“I’m not in danger,” Faery Fire whispered, Pink unconsciously reaching for her, “I just need to work some things out, you don’t need to worry about me.” Faery Fire’s ulfbrent floated after her as Faery Fire stepped into the hallway clad in her cozy cotton pajamas.

Now, who to talk to? Blue and Red were remarkably mature for their ages, Faery Fire thought, but she could hardly talk about adopting the Sailors with the Sailors. No, that was crazy. It was foolishness. It didn’t make sense at all, Faery Fire knew. But that also meant that she couldn’t talk to Gargoyle either. Besides, Faery Fire thought, there was no way a man like him could understand her. A gruff, macho man with a fatherly side and an energetic woman with a motherly side? Faery Fire shook her head, best not to think of that fantasy right now.

But if she couldn’t talk to the Sailors, and couldn’t talk to Gargoyle, and couldn’t talk to Gargoyle’s daughter, why did Faery Fire never ask the girl’s name? That left-

Gamer Man.

Gamer Man was- the problem was- Faery Fire considered trying to bottle up her feelings and going back to bed. She considered just ignoring her own desires until the stress drove her to a heart attack.

Look, Faery Fire thought, Gamer Man isn’t a bad person. He’s surprisingly mature, dedicated to being a superhero, remarkably insightful, wise, courageous, and the nerdiest nerd to have ever been a nerd. Just a complete nerd. A total nerd. The kind of nerd that makes other people nerdier just by being around him. The kind of nerd that talked about his power level. So much of a nerd, that Red, Green and Yellow had started playing card games and board games with him. And not simple games like Go Fish or Monopoly, no. Those were too easy, Gamer Man said, try these games where you spent so much time trying to figure out rules you’d never realize if you were having fun or not. Or at least, if she was having fun or not, the Sailors seemed to enjoy it. So, of course, Faery Fire made sure to play it with them. And it wasn’t like Faery Fire wasn’t trying to learn the rules either, it’s just that whenever Faery Fire recommended something simpler Gamer Man said that nobody ever had fun playing Monopoly.

Still, it was late and everyone else was asleep. Either Faery Fire was going to talk to Gamer Man, or she was going to go back to bed and stew in her own frustrations. Faery Fire gave a last parting glance to her bed before leaving to find Gamer Man and hoping he was still awake.

Gamer Man was still awake. He was listening to a police scanner while idly thinking about new gadgets to add to his armor and working on his gaming backlog. Ever since he became a superhero, the backlog seemed to grow and grow, the one supervillain he could never defeat.

He snapped to attention when Faery Fire stepped into his room. The topic of what Faery Fire slept in had occasionally been floated around on the various forums Gamer Man used to frequent, but nobody had ever answered with cotton pants and matching long-sleeved shirt. It was cute, or at least as cute as a genetically engineered supermodel could be cute, and Ascension really had a type.

"Hey," Gamet Man said, pushing a chair out for Faery Fire.

"I can't sleep," Faery Fire mumbled as she plopped down next to Gamer Man.

"Do you-" Gamer Man started, fishing for words. What was she doing here? Usually she went to bed with the Sailors. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Well, since you asked-" Faery Fire said.

"Wait," Gamer Man said, "That was a trap, wasn't it."

"I was hoping you'd ask," Faery Fire said, "And you did ask."

"Hrmh," Gamer Man grunted, "Mind helping me with the game while you- while we talk?"

"Sure, what's it about?" Faery Fire asked.

"Farming," Gamer Man said, passing a controller to Faery Fire, "And fighting monsters."

"Why would anyone start a farm near monsters," Faery Fire asked.

"The land was cheap," Gamer Man said, "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"You know when Claire healed me?" Faery Fire asked.

"I was there for that," Gamer Man said.

"Well, she made it so I can have children," Faery Fire said, "Something Ascension took away from me. And yesterday I found out Gargoyle has a kid, and now I'm-"

Gamer Man gave Faery Fire a slack jawed, blank stare.

"What?" Faery Fire asked.

"I- Who just springs all that on someone?" Gamer Man said, "You and Ascension were together? The supervillain? And Gargoyle has a kid? Is one of the Sailors pregnant?"

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

“No!” Faery Fire balked, “Didn’t you already know all this?”

“I asked Gargoyle what you and he were talking about,” Gamer Man said, “He said it was personal, and not to press you about it. And given all you just told me, I think I should have already known. You and Ascension?”

“It was a long time ago,” Faery Fire said, “And a terrible relationship with a terrible break up.”

“You two didn’t-” Gamer Man said.

“No.” Faery Fire said, “He’s an insane, ego driven, transhumanist maniac now, he was an insane, ego driven, transhumanist maniac then. And he was only interested in my body anyway.”

Gamer Man gave Faery Fire a sidelong glance.

“Okay, he was only interested in how he could alter my body,” Faery Fire explained, “He was still a brilliant scientist, and all my augmentations came from him.”

“And he really didn’t-” Gamer Man said.

“He still didn’t,” Faery Fire said, “The idea of children disgusted him. The thought that I, his greatest work of art, would ever be disfigured by childbirth was absurd to him. No matter how I asked him, no matter how I pleaded with him, he refused to start a family with me. Every time I did, he just got furious with me.”

“So he never-” Gamer Man said.

“No!” Faery Fire snapped, “We never had sex. Not once, not ever, not in any position or any way! Does that answer your question?”

“Sorry,” Gamer Man said, “I just thought, since he’s a supervillain and you’re-” Gamer Man smartly quieted, realizing what he was about to say to Faery Fire.

“Continue,” Faery Fire demanded.

“You’re- uh,” Gamer Man sputtered, “That is- you- you’re really beautiful.”

“And I use my appearance to market myself when streaming,” Faery Fire continued, “And to inspire people to push themselves to greater heights, motivate people to become the greatest versions of themselves. That I use a lot of the money people donate to me to fund charities. Keagan, do you think I’m like that skank Hope Diamond Cuts? I swear, it’s like her bad publicity rubs off on me.”

“No! No,” Gamer Man said, “Again. Sorry. So, um, you said Claire healing you means you can have children again?”

“She did,” Faery Fire said, “And that’s not something I can be mad at her for. I’ve wanted to have children almost since I knew how. But now- Gamer Man I’m a superheroine. I just feel like this shouldn’t be bothering me. Like, of course I should keep working as a superheroine! People need my help! Having a baby would put an immediate stop to that, how could I ever be so greedy as to fulfill my own lifelong dreams!”

“And Gargoyle has a kid?” Gamer Man prompted, “I never knew he was married.”

“He told me he married when he was just out of highschool,” Faery Fire said, “And she looks really young, like she’s just starting college or something. I don’t know how he did that.”

“Wouldn’t you, uh, consummate a marriage on the night of a wedding?” Gamer Man asked.

“Being married isn’t just dating but you live together,” Faery Fire said, “It’s marriage. It takes time to adjust to, and you’d want a honeymoon. Anyway, when I met her, she asked Gargoyle if he and I were together.”

“And what did he say?” Gamer Man asked.

“He said I was a teammate,” Faery Fire huffed, “Now I don’t know if his daughter wants him to remarry, or if he wants to remarry, or if he should remarry, or if we did try to marry would we have time for any of it. And I just- I feel like this is something I already handled, but back then I thought it was impossible. Now, thanks to Claire, everything that was impossible for me is possible. And I just, I don’t know, I just needed to talk to someone.”

“Shouldn’t you have talked to Gargoyle?” Gamer Man asked.

“No!” Faery Fire balked.

“But he’s part of this,” Gamer Man said.

“I’ve been able to bury this dream before,” Faery Fire said, “And I can bury it again, even if it’s harder this time.”

“Right,” Gamer Man said, “Can I tell you something?”

“What?” Faery Fire asked.

“You know how I tell people my superhero origin,” Gamer Man said, “Won the lottery, decided to be a superhero, and my parents burned down in an orphan fire.”

“I’ve heard it before,” Faery Fire said.

“Well, it might surprise you,” Gamer Man said, “But my parents are still alive and healthy.”

“Shock of all shocks,” Faery Fire deadpanned. “Gamer Man, how could our relationship survive such a revelation?”

“I know, I am truly a master of secrecy and misdirection,” Gamer Man said, his playful smile dropping, “And, it feels like every year I get to see them less. You miss one birthday, one Mother’s Day, one Father’s day, one Thanksgiving dinner, and suddenly the next family gathering seems that much less important. Once you’ve missed one, missing the next isn’t so bad.”

“Sounds rough,” Faery Fire said.

“It is,” Gamer Man agreed, “But it’s not the worst part. The worst part is that they look at me differently. I can’t tell them what I do, for all I know Gorestrike would attack them just to get to me, and there’s no way I’m putting my sisters, brother, uncles, and baby nephews in danger just because I want some home cooking.”

“Look at you differently?” Faery Fire asked.

“It’s weird, I know,” Gamer Man said, “But they look at me like they’re asking themselves “If our son won the lottery, why can’t he spend more time with us? What is he spending so much his time and money on that we don’t get to see him at all? Fast cars? Alcohol? Women? Drugs?”” Gamer Man paused for a moment. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m no longer welcome. I’ve caught bits of clipped conversation for other rooms, seen them digging through my luggage when they think I’m not looking. Last Thanksgiving, I didn’t even get an invitation. Hardly a surprise, last year I was so busy I didn’t have time to call my mom on Mother’s Day!”

“Gamer Man, there’s no way your mom thinks you’re a drug addict,” Faery Fire said.

“I know, and I know they still love me,” Gamer Man said, “But I want to hear them say it. I want to tell them I love them. And do you know what I do about this?”

“Call your parents to talk to them?” Faery Fire guessed.

“I remind myself that self sacrifice is the core of heroism,” Gamer Man said, “There’s going to be a day when I never talk to my family again, and that day might have already passed. Being a superhero is important, too important for me to be selfish. What I do is take it on the chin and bear it. Now, I know my own willpower isn’t infinite. So once a week I play videogames for a couple hours. I used to have time to run guilds, but that time has passed and I won’t take it back.”

“So that’s it, huh,” Faery Fire said, “Suffer in silence?”

“We’re hardly alone in it,” Gamer Man said, “How much do you think Gargoyle wants to go back to his child and be a family man? How much do you think the Sailors want to put their swords away and just be pop idols? Or just be schoolgirls? How much do you think the Vanguard Squad want to hang up their capes, step out of the public spotlight, and just be regular people? Take some time to keep yourself healthy, but remember you’re a superheroine and that means something.”

“So, suffer in silence together,” Faery Fire sighed, “Any suggestions for what I could do?”

“Well, if you really want a hit of that domestic life,” Gamer Man said, “You could cook a meal for the Sailors and I during game night? We’re already all around a table.”

“Would that get me out of trying to learn all the rules your games have?” Faery Fire asked.

“Oh, certainly not,” Gamer Man said, “If you want to involve yourself in their life, make sure they know you’re someone who cares about them, then you’re going to learn the rules for Graveyard Shift whether you like it or not.”

“Right, well,” Faery Fire said, putting her controller down, “It’s getting late, and we should have been in bed awhile ago. Thanks for the talk.”