Claire stood on the beach, waves lapping at her toes as she stared at the horizon. The paladin- no, Gamer Man had told her it was thousands of miles across the ocean, and then hundreds of miles across the land, to get back to her team. Salty air hung around her, and Claire lost herself to the sound of waves and squawking gulls, the sounds of the city growing distant.

Long gone were her prison fatigues. Faery Fire, Gamer Man, and the Sailors had a lot of money, and had bought Claire a new outfit, a tough rider jacket and pants, heavy combat boots, fingerless gloves and a solid aluminum bat. During the shopping trip, Faery Fire talked about how stocky Claire was. She wasn’t fat, but Claire did have thick arms and legs that were normally covered by plate armor. Claire smiled and said she had dwarves somewhere in her family tree.

Faery Fire considered taking Claire to a salon to give her an anchor cut. It was a well known fact that the half shave would either make a woman look crazy hot, or plain crazy. One look at Claire wild eyes was all that Faery Fire needed. That woman was cray to a ‘Z.’

“What are you doing?” Faery Fire asked, stomping across the sand, “You’re not planning on swimming across the ocean, are you?”

“I probably could,” Claire said, her voice even and her attention distant.

“Look, we can get you plane tickets,” Faery Fire said, “I can tour with the Sailors, and you can travel with-”

“I don’t know where I am,” Claire said, “And if I went with you I wouldn’t know where I’m going.”

This wasn’t about the Sailor’s tour schedule, Faery Fire realized, and Claire had been told she was in Japan enough times that she should remember it by now. That probably meant one thing, but with Claire it was hard to tell.

“Are you sad because there’s not enough bad guys to kill?” Faery Fire guessed.

Claire turned around.

“Were you crying?” Faery Fire balked, “What happened? Did you lose a fight?”

“No,” Claire said.

“What happened,” Faery Fire demanded.

“I don’t want to think about it,” Claire said.

“There’s a lot you don’t want to think about,” Faery Fire said, “Follow me, we’ll sort this out.”

Faery Fire led Claire to a nearby cafe. She wasn’t in her Sailor costume, or her superheroine costume, so Faery Fire only had to wave off a mild amount of attention before sitting down in a corner booth with Claire. It helped that Claire was with her. She had quickly become a respected and recognized superheroine, and the people that recognized her tended to stay out of her way. The cleric looked like she had run herself ragged doing- Faery Fire couldn’t think of what. She had watched Claire take a flying leap off a hospital roof just to pick a fight in the parking lot.

But now she looked…

Shaken. Was the world doomed or something? No, Faery Fire thought, that would rile up Claire. Faery Fire ordered a hot cocoa for Claire and a black coffee for herself. Claire took the paper cup in hand. The warmth and rich smell of chocolate might have relaxed Claire.

“Drink it,” Faery Fire ordered, “And tell me what happened.”

Claire down the cocoa in a single go, scalding liquid, cool whipped cream, ground nutmeg and cookie stick streaming down her throat. Faery Fire didn’t bother telling Claire not to do that, that was just how Claire ate and drank everything. Almost like it was a race. Faery Fire once saw Claire chewing on a plastic soda bottle, just in case she could eat it.

“Feeling better?” Faery Fire asked.

“They were dead,” Claire muttered.

That nearly had Faery Fire reeling, but she was well experienced with wrangling Claire. “Who was dead?”

It happened nearly a week ago.

Claire was stalking through the remnants of Rider territory. Ultimate Rider was dead, but there were still a lot of people hanging onto the Rider Nation. The Sailors, Gargoyle, and the police were working on it, but Claire didn’t let herself rest. There was evil. Evil she could see from miles and miles away. Evil that would face divine wrath and righteous fury.

The night was almost routine for Claire. There was a really evil person, and Claire was on the case. There was a trail of corpses, one that Claire could easily follow. As Claire strode over the bodies, she duly noted that these weren’t people her killer attacked. Everyone was armed with makeshift clubs and armor. A collection of bats, pipes, and repurposed sports gear and helmets. Claire shrugged, some group of mercenaries had picked a tough fight. Something Claire had seen before. They even had matching crests, which was something Claire should remember if she ran into them again.

“Wait.” Claire paused. She knew that crest. It was the crest of her Goddess. It was the crest proudly emblazoned on her armor and shield, declaring her a warrior of faith and virtue to all that looked upon her. It was the crest embossed on her mighty hammer so that with each swing her enemies would bear the sigil. This symbol of holy purpose was drawn on the mercenaries’ shirts in marker and crudely etched on their weapons.

This wasn’t a group of mercenaries, it was a holy order. One that had tragically bitten off far more than they could chew. That was understandable, something Claire knew all too well. Really, they should have found some way to call her, or just wait for her to show up. She’d get the job done no matter what. What Claire didn’t understand was how the crest of her Goddess wound up on these people. She hadn’t talked about Her with anyone, and even if she did then she’d-

No, wait, Claire remembered she did show off that pamphlet on her religion on one of Blake’s live stream things.

A chill swept up Claire’s spine. Had she gotten these people killed? If they didn’t wear the sigil, didn’t carry clubs, how many of them would still be alive? And how many times had Claire’s carelessness gotten people killed? How many times had her team wandered away from a problem, just because it wasn’t immediate. For all they did, there was never peace. Was she-

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

“Stop,” Faery Fire instructed, “You can’t blame yourself for every bad thing that happens.”

“Maybe you can’t,” Claire huffed, “Do you have any idea how powerful me and my team are?”

“Are you-” Faery Fire paused, “Blaming yourself for things outside of your control is not strength. And no, I don’t know how powerful the rest of your team is. I don’t think I want to know.”

“Is your goddess-” Faery Fire started.

“Goddess,” Claire corrected.

“-So strict that you can’t afford to make one mistake?” Faery Fire asked, “Not a single error in judgment? And how do you know that wasn’t their idea in the first place? It’s not like you could have asked them-”

Claire pounded her fist into the table. She should have thought of that! Ugh, she really was distracted. This wasn’t affecting her work, was it?

“I just-” Claire said, “What if something like this happens again?”

“People being attacked or-” Faery Fire asked.

“People who pick fights they can’t win because of me,” Claire said, “I hate this. It makes me feel like I did something wrong, or- or something. Ugh, I’m in an introspective mood. I hate it.”

“How often do you-” Faery Fire paused for a moment. “Consider the weight of your actions?”

“I’ve been doing it a lot more since the trial,” Claire said, “You talk at people a lot, is there any way to make it stop?”

“To make self reflection stop?” Faery Fire balked, “Why would you want that?”

“Do you know how to fix it or not?” Claire demanded.

“Normally, not doing self reflection would dull wisdom,” Faery Fire stated.

“So that’s a no then,” Claire grumbled.

“Do you think that just maybe, you miss your friends?” Faery Fire asked.

“Of course! I miss them!” Claire cheered, “If I had my team with me, I could work faster-”

“Okay, not what I was getting at,” Faery Fire mumbled.

“But how do I find them?” Claire continued, “Agh! This just wraps back around to my first problem. I don’t know where I am, and I don’t know where I’m going.”

“I don’t think your friends should be that hard to find,” Faery Fire said flatly.

“Really?” Claire asked, “Because we were here for months before anybody noticed.”

“I- Really?” Faery Fire asked.

Claire nodded.

“Yeah, we were sent by some goddess-” Claire explained.

“Don’t you mean Goddess?” Faery Fire asked.

“No.” Claire gave Faery Fire a look. “We were sent on a quest to stop a great disaster, but I have no idea where the rest of my team is.”

“Well, I could set up a tour with the Sailors, I need to establish the brand of Sailor White,” Faery Fire mused, “And you could search for your friends as we tour.”

“I am going to travel with you,” Claire said, “But my team are all prisoners, we were found guilty of greatness in that trial-”

“Not what happened,” Faery Fire cut in.

“Are you going to be touring prison yards?” Claire asked, “The rest of my team is probably in jail. Or at least around jails.”

“Didn’t it take you less than a day to break out?” Faery Fire asked.

“Oh yeah,” Clare remarked, “Well, are you going to be touring around-”

“No. You can go rumor hunting while we’re on tour,” Faery Fire explained, “And I’m not letting you bring any of the Sailors with you. I don’t even want to let Gargoyle go with you.”

“What about-” Claire started.

“No.” Faery Fire huffed. “You’re not taking Keagan either.”

“But he’s-” Claire said.

“Naive, inexperienced, and in way over his head,” Faery Fire said, “You’d drag him into some insane fight against the whole planet the moment you sensed something wrong. And he’d follow you. He’d follow you no matter what you’re fighting. No matter the danger, no matter the risk he takes, no matter the risk people around him take. Is that really a responsibility you want to take on?”

This put Claire into another introspective moment, though this one felt less uncomfortable. The responsibility. That was it. Claire was distraught over the dead holy order because she felt responsible for them. Claire had shown them her Goddess’ will, even if for only a moment. Shown them how to enter Her grace and gain power and purpose from it, and that had led to their doom. She had given them the power, and it was her duty to teach them how to use it, or at least stop them from running off without a care. Her team would have gotten the job done, but what would the order have done then? There was always, always another villain somewhere else that her team needed to kill.

She needed to start being more responsible, which felt awful, and get the team to stick around long enough to establish new power bases, or at least an order that wouldn't collapse on their first holy mission. She had taught these people-

No! That was it! Claire hadn’t taught them! She hadn’t taught them a dang thing! And that meant-

It meant-

Meant that-

Claire took a breath to steady herself.

It meant that in order for the now dead clerics to have learned divine power, to summon miracles, to bless their weapons, they would have had communion with the divine. With Claire’s Goddess. When was the last time Claire had prayed to her Goddess. She sifted through years of memory, then decades. Claire couldn’t even remember Her name! What would She say if Claire tried to contact her now? Divinities were rarely happy to see Claire, and ever since Claire had gained the title of Great Believer they were furious that a mortal of all people could pull rank on them. They hated Claire, and hated her openly.

But what if She was dead? Being the Great Believer meant that Claire could call on divine power at any time, and divine power could last beyond divine death. What if the holy order hadn’t actually learned any prayers? What if they couldn’t actually achieve communion? What if-

No. Claire knew She wasn’t dead. If her Goddess was dead, there were multiple pantheons that would descend to smash her face in. That hadn’t happened, which meant that that hadn’t happened.

It annoyed Claire. It furrowed her brow, clenched her jaw, set her teeth on edge and locked her fingers in a white knuckles grip.

But she would go from doing good to doing better.