Gamer Man felt like he was on top of the world.
He polished, cleaned and serviced the power frame. He slept, dreamt of the mountain and the endless climb, woke up, trained, exercised, studied, and went out to be a superhero.
Gamer Man fired his grappling hook, catching Troglodyte by the neck, and braced himself against the lip of the roof. Troglodyte, a giant of a man with ram horns, a slavering snout, fur and claws, jerked back as the line went taut, buying a fleeing couple just enough time to escape. Gamer Man leapt off the roof, letting the grappling gun reel him, and bodily tackled Troglodyte to the ground. The beast roared, effortlessly lifting Gamer Man and thrashing about. Gamer Man clung to Troglodyte with a choke hold, pressing a button under his wrist to activate the shock frills on his suit. Electricity surged through the giant, who spasmed and jerked until Gamer Man deactivated the shock frills and Troglodyte collapsed to the ground. Gamer Man switched his hold to a leg choke, and called the police about having caught a supervillain. It took Gamer Man eight minutes to convince the police that he actually had caught a supervillain, and then it took them another ten minutes for squad cars to arrive.
He polished, cleaned and serviced the power frame. He slept, dreamt of the mountain and the endless climb, woke up, trained, exercised, studied, and went out to be a superhero.
"Everybody on the ground now!" the bank robber ordered, firing a trio of bullets into the floor. Two of the thugs started collecting everyone's phones, along with any cash or jewelry, while two more began cutting through the bank vault door.
Gamer Man pushed open a window on the roof, anchoring his grappling hook before quietly descending.
One of the robbers saw a shadow moving across the ground as he zip tied hostages.
"Supers!" the robber barked, whipping his gun into the air.
Gamer Man yelped as bullets whipped past him, releasing the grappling gun to unfurl the paneled shield on his arm.
“You move,” the robber said, aiming his gun at a hostage, “And people-”
Gamer Man launched a panel of his shield at the robber, with a ballistics program ensuring the metal panel made a direct impact against the robber’s hand. Gamer Man drew his shock rope pistol, hip firing a line that wrapped around the robber’s ankle. A second robber turned on Gamer Man, and Gamer Man fired a trio of shock cords, stunning the robber long enough for Gamer Man to tackle him to the ground. Gamer Man grabbed at the zip ties and quickly hogtied the robber.
Gamer Man raced to the back of the bank, practically flying with his armor, frame, and highly trained athleticism. The third robber fell to a swing of Gamer Man’s shock baton, and the fourth dropped his gun in surrender. As he tied up the fourth robber, Gamer Man had three of the civilians call the police.
Gamer Man noted that the police arrived in under five minutes.
He polished, cleaned and serviced the power frame. He slept, dreamt of the mountain and the endless climb, woke up, trained, exercised, studied, and went out to be a superhero.
“You?” the detective asked, “Listen, Gamer Boy-”
“It’s Gamer Man, actually,” Gamer Man said.
“Sure,” the detective said, “Either way, the people we’re looking for are dangerous. Serial killers! What makes you think we need your help?”
“I studied criminal psychology,” Gamer Man said, “And I read about these killers in the news. They-”
“Kill people with a meat hook, hack the victim up, and feed the victim to a crocodile,” the detective said, “We know all that. Currently, we are in contact with She-Wolf and Lady NightRaven, experienced detectives. We’ll have the killers behind bars before you know it, don’t you worry.”
“Actually, I wanted to share a theory,” Gamer Man said, “I think they kill their victims with a pirate hook, not a meat hook.”
“A pirate hook?” the detective asked, giving Gamer Man one of those looks
“Yeah, like Captain Hook from Peter Pan,” Gamer Man said, “He fought the Lost Boys and the indians, and they-”
“You think that these serial murders are actually pirates from a children’s book?” the detective asked.
“I’ve read that book,” Gamer Man said, “The original really isn’t for kids. It actually-”
“Gamer Man,” the detective said, putting up a hand to stop Gamer Man, “I appreciate your concern, I really do, but rest assured that King’s Head’s finest are on the case. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some paperwork that needs to be filed. Very dry reports, nothing that would interest you. Have a good day.”
Gamer Man smiled and waved the detective off before returning to his base. Gamer Man set to work on the case, looking through the list of victims. Orphaned men, then Indian people, then orphaned men, then Indian people, then orphaned men. The fight between the pirates, Indians, and Lost Boys was intended to be circular in nature, with the three teams doing laps around the island, fighting and killing each other all the while. Gamer Man printed out a map of King’s Head and the surrounding area, marking each killing with a pin. It seemed that Captain Hook, Gamer Man was certain it was Captain Hook, had nearly completed a full loop. After a quick google search, Gamer Man thought he had found Captain Hook’s next target.
Jebediah Delano had spent a long time getting his act just right. Making sure he had the right target, making sure he had the right hook, making sure he had the right posture, the right accent, the right outfit, the right mind set, so many things had to be just right. What the tall, burly man truly hated in life was mindless, brainless interruptions. When a man in baby blue armor had the outright nerve to interrupt his art, to say Jebediah was furious would be quite the understatement.
Jebediah advanced on the interloper, wicked hook raised, and swung with all his might for the fool’s skull.
The hook stopped hard on Gamer Man’s helmet, and Gamer Man hardly even felt it. A look of confusion briefly crossed Jebediah’s face. That didn’t normally happen.
“When I said you are under arrest,” Gamer Man said, “I’ll have you know I meant it.”
Jebediah swung hard again, hauling the hook with both hands, putting his whole weight behind the attack. Gamer Man tilted his head, and the hook cleanly deflected off his helmet this time.
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“If you do that again-” Gamer Man said. Jebediah roared in fury, bringing the hook up. Gamer Man caught the hook in one hand, twisted Jebediah around, and lifted the burly man over his head.
“What is this?” Jebediah spat.
“Expertly built power armor,” Gamer Man said, “Now, my motorcycle doesn’t have room for a passenger, something I should probably fix, so I’m going to jog you to the nearest police station.
Gamer Man, striding down the road with massive, flying steps and a firm grip on Jebediah. The burly man could hit some truly impressive high notes, Gamer Man noted.
When Gamer Man finally put Jebediah down in front of the first sheriff’s office that he found, the man was quick to confess to his crimes, and the news reported Jebediah’s confession as the result of a guilty conscience.
He polished, cleaned and serviced the power frame. He slept, dreamt of the mountain and the endless climb, woke up, trained, exercised, studied, and went out to be a superhero.
Gamer Man wasn’t told how the fire started, as he rode up on his motorcycle none of the firemen really paid attention to Gamer Man. There was, after all, a burning apartment to gawk at.
"Fire Marshall," Gamer Man, snapping off a salute, "I'm here to help."
"Who are you?" fire marshall Erik Ziegelhaus, a brick house of a man, asked.
"Gamer Man, I'm a superhero," Gamer Man said.
"You got experience fighting fires?" Erik asked.
"No, but-" Gamer Man said.
"Then get behind the cordon and stop gawking," Erik commanded.
"Sir," one of the firemen said, jogging up to Erik, "The firearms are getting too hot, we can't keep sending people inside."
"Start dowsing the surrounding area to contain the fire," Erik ordered.
"There’s still people trapped inside," the fireman said.
"I'll go," Gamer Man said.
"Kid-" Erik said.
"I'm twenty-two," Gamer Man said, "And I'll go."
"You walk in there, and you're going to boil like a soda can in the microwave," Erik shouted.
"I'll be fine," Gamer Man said, "I'm a superhero."
Gamer Man charged into the burning building, weaving around the fireman who tried to stop him.
The heat was brutal, searing Gamer Man's flesh. The air was so hot that Gamer Man had to fight to keep his eyes open in the burning, boiling heat.
"Help me!" Gamer Man heard, "Someone! Please!"
The sound came from above him, and as Gamer Man started up the stairs they crumbled beneath his armored bulk. The servos and motors strained in the blazing Fire, forcing Gamer Man to rely on his own strength as he crawled up the remains of the staircase.
Moving through the burning building as agony. Gamer Man was certain he could feel his lungs burning, and a fear of his finger, the one that kept the ring of regeneration attached to him, would burn off and leave him for dead.
Gamer Man stumbled to the top of the stairs, too exhausted to call out. Smoke and fire filled Gamer Man's lungs, and he doubted he could even so much as scream even if he had the strength.as groan even if he had the strength. He was certain the voice he hear had come from this floor, and doubted he could climb much higher, no matter how much his heroic resolve demanded it of him. Gamer Man breathed, or would have breathed, a sigh of relief when he heard “Zombie! Zombie! Burning fire zombie! Help!” and stumbled towards the panicked screams.
“Does your shower still work?” Gamer Man asked, stepping into the smoke filled apartment.
“AAAAAAA!”
“Listen, I can get you out of here,” Gamer Man said, “But the metal and alloys in my suit will cook you like a grilled cheese unless I can cool off.”
“AAAAAAA!”
“You know what, I’ll be right back,” Gamer Man said, stepping into the apartment’s bathroom.
Cold water flowed over Gamer Man, bringing relief to his burning, sizzling skin, and putting out the fires that covered him. When Gamer Man stepped out of the bathroom, he saw the fires had spread into the apartment, and rushed for the panicking woman. Gamer Man scooped her up, diving out the window as he fired his grappling gun. The grappling hook dug into an adjacent building, and Gamer Man swung the woman to safety, setting her down after he skidded to a halt.
“You’re alive?” the fire marshall gawked.
“Of course I am,” Gamer Man said, still wafting smoke, “I’m a superhero!”
He polished, cleaned and serviced the power frame. He slept, dreamt of the mountain and the endless climb, woke up, trained, exercised, studied, and went out to be a superhero.
“Thanks mister!” the little girl said.
“My pleasure,” Gamer Man said, climbing up the tree, “Here, kitty kitty kitty.”
“My daddy reads the newspaper,” the little girl said.
“Really?” Gamer Man said, reaching for the angry, hissing cat.
“He says that they says you’re not a real hero,” the little girl rambled.
“Why?” Gamer Man asked, the cat clawing and biting his leather gloved hand. He had to leave a lot of his gear behind today. The fire had really done a number on it.
“Daddy says that anyone named ‘Gamer’ isn’t a ‘Man’,” the little girl continued, “I think you’re a hero.”
“Thank you,” Gamer Man said, hugging the cat and trying to relax the poor thing, “That means a lot to me.”
“Doesn’t people being mean to you all the time make you sad?” the little girl asked.
“Sometimes,” Gamer Man admitted, testing his weight against a branch.
“Then why are you always happy?” the little girl asked.
“Well,” Gamer Man said, stepping onto solid ground, “Let me tell you a secret. I met a very pretty lady who likes heroes, so I tried to be a better hero for her. However, being a better hero meant being a hero for myself, not for her. So, people can be mean to me and say I’m not a hero and say I’m not a man, but I know I’m a hero. Laser beams and super strength may break my bones, but against words I shall remain unshaken. Now, here’s Mrs. Powder Puff. Now, you be nice to her. Got that, little cat?”
“Thanks mister Gamer Man!” the little girl called, scampering away with the white cat.
The bard was having a good time, but Latent Vapors, the company that produced Return of the Realms, was having an awful time. Normally, Latent Vapors worked to support streamers and content creators who supported their game. The bard was unlike anything they had ever seen before. The vitriol and hatred she spewed, and the developers thought some level of trash talk was expected, perhaps a healthy indication of a competitive spirit, was so intense that she quickly emptied entire lobbies. Players who were unfortunate enough to be directly targeted by the bard often quit the game and never looked back. The community demanded the bard be banned, but Latent Vapors didn’t know how.
The bard had no IP address. The bard’s account wasn’t listed in their databases. She could even log onto the game when it was shut down. And, in what some of the staff had been calling a direct insult against them and the streaming service she used, she had started dealing drugs on her stream.
“So, the rest of the party managed to get some alchemical ingredients,” the bard said, turning her camera towards the short line of potions, “These two are potions of youth, it de-ages the drinker by forty years. Don’t take it if you’re under forty one years old. This is a potion of fire breathing. Without practice, the breath attack can reach thirty feet, and with training the farthest I’ve seen is around one hundred and fifty feet. This is a potion of stone skin, I’m sure I don’t need to explain that. The last one there is a potion of sex changing, it’s good for disguises. Five hundred thousand dollars for one potion. Hmm? Yes, they’re all permanent except the youth potions. Those only last for forty years. Lower the- No of course I’m not going to lower the prices! Either you pay up or you shut up! Delivery? Instant teleportation to your location. Don’t worry, you don’t need to provide any skin or hair samples, we know your privacy is important.”
It was infuriating. Not only was the bard dealing what could only reasonably be called drugs, she had the nerve to claim she knew the address of everyone watching her stream. The instant teleportation was a hoax, something to be lumped in with the rest of the lies the bard effortlessly told, but it came with the quiet threat that she knew exactly where her viewers lived. Legal action had to be taken, and Latent Vapors had hired She-Wolf and Lady NightRaven, and it was unnerving to see how much enthusiasm that they had taken the case with.