>> It wasn’t that simple.

The moment I realized the unrequited love I have suddenly ended; that the time the person who I cherished was taken by someone who will make her happier than me.

If only I was born a man, I will not hold back to tell her how I truly feel. That guy can give something I can never provide. And choosing the one she falls in love with isn’t my bounds to step on.

I’m fully aware, that my feelings as a person who wants someone as her to stay by my side as a lover won’t reciprocate.

“Jessie... hello!”

A snap sound of finger suddenly dragged me back to the reality. Looking at the surroundings, crowds gathered in group, and the tranquility of the place succumbs over.

That then I realized that this is the library inside the university. Scattering around are the papers needed to analyze in the upcoming lecture later.

“Huh...?” my eyes meet someone. It’s the person I knew. She has a short, bob-cut style hair and pair of eyeglasses.

“You’re spacing too much; what’s the matter?” this person, tagging me along is my classmate named Kristine. We’ve been known each other since I attend University.

Like me, she’s on the sophomore year of college, attending same course as me.

“No, nothing.” I tepidly answered and look back at the papers. It’s been a week since I learned that my childhood friend got a lover. And from that I’ve felt anguish over.

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“It seems that something or someone’s bothering you. Who or what that might be, huh...?”

“No, it’s nothing. Let’s just focus on our upcoming lecture later.”

“Come on, you can tell something about me. I do feel that there’s something bothering you.”

I look at Kristine as she smiles at me. I felt like she’s mocking me right now.

“I don’t feel like telling it. Besides, you can’t do anything ‘bout it at all. It would be better if—"

“About your love life, huh...?” she chided before I proceed.

I got astounded after as she hits me through that word. What, how did she know that...?

“What...?”

“What do you mean what...? I am observing your facial expression. It all says to you, duh?”

She grunted at me like it all matters. “So, who was it...?” Kristine hits the bull’s eye. Damn, how should I make excuse for that? She hasn’t found that I’m not like the other usual girls she known.

I’m afraid that she might turn off and go away from me.

“Why do you care...?” I mumbled exasperatedly.

“Oh, come on, you’re in your prime now. It’s good to have a boyfriend at your age, you know...?”

Her eyes glimmer as those words flows out of her lips. Kristine is somewhat a hopeless romantic person. Though, she hasn’t been in love with someone, she’s always bragging about not getting a boyfriend since birth.

And I always listen to that complaint. But it’s not that bothers me a lot, though.

“What ’cha think, go with me in a meet up? There are some boys coming over. Let’s have fun.”

As she said it, I looked at her in a wistful way.

“What...? I’ll go with you to meet some guys I didn’t know at all? What the heck? What am I supposed to do?”

“Well, meet and greet. As simple as that, and that maybe you find someone. There’s no harm with that.”

With a wide grin, Kristine glares at me. “This might be the good time for you to find the good person you want to be with.”

“I think this isn’t a good idea at all. I mean, I’ll gonna meet strange people... who knows what their motive is?”

“I know those guys particularly; they don’t mean harm to anyone. Besides, it’s all good for you to take a break from time to time.”

She’s thinking about me too much. Too much that I don’t even know how to refuse over that matter.

“Okay, but for this once only.”

“Yes! Just for this once. Thanks, Jessie!”

Kristine giggled as she confirmed my consent. I smile wryly at her, dragging on situation might cheer me up. I know that she’s doing this for my sake and I’m glad about it.

“The event will be this weekend. Don’t make necessary plans, okay?”

“Got it; let’s finish this and go to the next class. Time’s almost up.”

We both proceed in taking notes and do some paper reports while thinking about what will going to happen on the weekend.

This happens so sudden, and I do want to know if any person would be there to cheer me up.

“Dating a guy, huh...?”

Mumbling softly, I contemplate to that idea. Might be, it will help me change for the better. Though, it won’t be clear enough how would I go far to deceive myself for being not good enough for a man.