The humans were gawking at the sprinting centaurs with mouths agape. Of course, they couldn’t understand what they were looking at because centaurs weren’t native to this side of the continent.
A herd of beautiful and well-endowed women galloped gallantly through the Capital. Some were dressed in exotic blue garb which barely contained their near-bursting assets, others were like knights most noble and were donning well-polished and shiny orange full plates.
For whatever reason, the wives shielded the eyes of their husbands, and the youthful lasses did the same to their lads. A dangerous gesture, considering the speed the centaurs were galloping through the streets. The accidents were avoided only because the sight was so unusual, so exotic – it was hard to miss; so the people moved out of their way clearing the streets.
However, if one thought that humans here were welcoming towards the other races they would be sorely mistaken. Beautiful Centauri or not, The Holy Empire’s stance on monster and sub-human races was very clear. The saving grace here was the flags and the insignia the centaurs wore, it was very clear who they were representing. This, and the contents of the wagons. The wagons were loaded full of TomGrape, the favourite staple of the peasantry and nobility alike. It was almost a crime to sell something this good so cheap.
So despite the hardwired predispositions, humans inched towards liking the centaurs. To hate the centaurs was the same as to bite the hand which fed you, and even the dimmest peasant wasn’t that stupid. Understandably, there were few who still frowned at the non-human guests but most of the people greeted the gallant girls with smiles and open minds.
The centaurs parked their wagons at their destination – the Spider Warehouse. The keen spiders, big and small rushed to unload the wagons.
The Centauri Champion looked around trying to see the spider which she knew only by vague description.
“But aren't they all the same…” She couldn’t differentiate. “Hey, spider.” She called a random spider. “I’m here to meet your Merchant Champion.”
A spider porter blinked with all four of its eyes. “Merchant Champion?” It chirped confused. “Oh! You want. Lord G Bling.”
Yes, that was the spider she was looking for. “Take me to him at once, I have an important document to hand in.”
The spider waved to follow. “Come. Lord G Bling is. In the Spider Embassy.”
The trip was short and evidently the building was hard to miss, it was clearly a marvel of spider architecture. And she appreciated that architecture very much. No not because it was beautiful, but because the spiders made the entrances wide and ceilings high, their buildings were suitable for the tall and wide frames of centaurs. So there was a lot the other races could learn from the spiders.
She reached a reception desk, it was staffed by yet another spider. Or maybe… “Lorg G Bling?” She asked mistaking this spider for her query and already offering the rolled scroll.
The spider was scribbling something on a piece of paper. “Lord is preoccupied. With another guest. Please take a seat and wait.” It didn’t even look at her.
“Spider!” She began outraged. “Are you saying that a mere guest is more important than the King’s orders?” She waved the scroll.
“My apologies. I didn’t know. You were King’s. Messenger.” The spider finally looked at her. “Come.”
She was more than that, but to explain that to this simple spider was just too much of a bore. She followed the spider through the blue drape and into another room.
…
The spider HeadMerchant aka ‘Lord G Bling’ was entertaining a very important guest, a real VIP. She was a pleasure to work with and a real asset to the Spider Kingdom. Moreover, what started strictly only as a business soon developed into a genuine friendship.
Lady Crimson wasn’t just a pleasure to work with, she was also a very fun person to hang around. Unlike most humans, she didn’t care about his otherwise spooky spidery form and was able to see him for what he truly was. Needless to say, he treasured this friendship dearly.
Hence why the two were currently fooling around, entertaining each other in this VIP guest room. This room didn’t see much use at all, so the spider repurposed it slightly. It was littered chockfull with a certain type of books.
The two weren't doing any reading at the moment. Instead, they were creating art of their own, they were expressing their feelings through dance and song:
“I shall be Red,” He let out a sing-song chirp.
“And I’ll be Blue,” she sang maintaining the melody.
Let us sing together | and dance to heart's content ♫ *The two pressed their cheeks side to side.
Fantasy and Fiction | Destruction, DERELICTION ♫ *They looked at each other.
My dreams – unfulfilled; I wish it to be true! *He took her right with his left
Our secrets dirty – undistilled; together we pursue! *She took his right with her left
I shall be your shadow | And I’ll be your DARKNESS ♫ *Dances clockwise
Let us study together | and immerse to heart’s content ♫ *Dances anticlockwise
One might turn rotten… from dirty books they’ve read. *He grabs his head
You needn’t worry… for I hid them under my bed. *She grabs his head.
S stands for Spiders | and M for Monsters ♫ *Both point at themselves.
Illusions and Delusions | Madness, CONFUSION ♫ *They lock hands together
Myself a servant in need of – master! *Dances
A maiden craven – desiring for a slaver! *And Dances
Just a HeadMerchant | an Alchemist, I am ♫ *The two pressed their cheeks side to side again.
To find you a Master | for me to be a Slave ♫ *Deep gazing into the eyes.
We’ll read books at night… greedily together! *Dances clockwise
Inseparable friends by daylight… we are FOREVER! *Dances anticlockwise.
“Ups we have a guest ♩,” he chirped melodically.
The Lady Crimson jumped away from him in a quick step; her face flushed red.
A centaur was staring fazed by the spectacle as if in a trance.
“Centauri Champion I presume?” His voice returned to the usual dark and low undertones.
The call broke the Champion’s stupor. “… I didn’t want to interrupt...” she bowed apologetically, “whatever this was,” she whispered. For some reason, her face was also flushed red.
He looked at the positively spidery scroll she was holding. “Lady Crimson, let’s finish later. In the evening?” He suggested apologetically.
“Yes. My place this time.” She gave a meaningful look. “I’ll prepare something very SPECIAL.” She finished while walking out in an urged manner. Her spare hand was trying to hide the ‘bad’ side of her face.
He wondered what caused her to be so self-conscious. But understanding human emotions was beyond him, for he was just a simple spider. He gave another look at the still-bowing Centauri woman. It was the first time they met, but luckily she had a human face, and so he could read her expressions well.
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
“Centauri champion why are you so tense? Isn’t it just the item ledger you’re here to deliver?”
Her hand trembled offering the scroll. “I didn’t realise…” She squealed.
“Realise what?”
For some reason, she bowed even lower.
“Your real rank. Not just a lordling, but The Lord.” She straightened and gave his appearance a judging look. “You own this city, no?” She gazed at the multiple golden chains dangling on his chest.
“Hmm…” The remark made him think. “If anyone, it is our Master, The King of Spiders who is the real ruler. But that’s politics…” He finally took the offered scroll. “So are you politically minded?”
“No, no.” she neighed. “Just surprised by your aura.”
“Humans tell me that all the time.” He unrolled the scroll to read through it. “Women especially.”
“Charisma build?” She inched closer to him.
The reply was pointless, so he read through the scroll. “TomGrape, EarthenYam, BerryNut, PurpleM, Burger-Mushrooms…” He went through the extensive list of goods and quantities. “Everything seems to be here, just as I requested.” He chirped happily. “So orderly. And to deliver this so fast! I must praise the Centauri.”
“Please mention that to the King. In one of your reports.”
“I’ll do that. And the Advanced Magic Scrolls?” He asked because those were top secret and excluded from the standard item ledger.
“I have them hidden and guarded in one of the wagons. Shall I fetch them to you, Lord G Bling?”
“Why the urgency? You must be tired. Come have a seat.” He motioned with his hand to the nearby seats and a table.
“Only if you insist, Lord G Bling.”
“Just G is fine.” He smiled. “And I insist.”
The centaur awkwardly tried to sit on the chair provided and failed. She pushed the chair away and just kneeled in front of the table.
“You shouldn’t have taken me so literally. Neither I can sit on human furniture.” He pointed at his six legs. “My apologies.” He bowed.
“No, no. The Lord shouldn’t bow like that.”
“Lord again? No lords here. We’re both just servants serving the magnanimous king.” He gave his best spidery smile. “Please forget our stations and call me G.”
The centaur nodded.
“You must be parched. Let’s have a drink.” He opened the most expensive scorpion liquor and poured two crystal glasses. “For the King!”
They drank and he refilled the glasses back to full. “For the spiders!” They drank again. “And for the Centauri!” … and again. “And for us and our future friendship!” … and again.
The Centauri Champion developed a funny expression on her face.
“Oh, there are my manners?” He chirped. “I should have offered you some food.” The centaurs were vegetarian so, “some AshenClover salad?” He clapped to alert the spider outside.
“Hic!” She hiccupped. “G, you know us Centauri well… the spiders go TomGrape this TomGrape that… Hic! But you! You know we like AshenClover better. Hic!”
“Of course I do. But I don’t know everything…” He poured another glass but only for her this time. “So while we wait for that salad why don’t you tell me everything about yourself? And your people?”
And so the two proceeded to an intimate discussion.
…
The once grand and opulent throne room was completely devoid of any splendour; It was like an empty room full of nothing – something that didn’t make sense if you thought too much about it. There on a lone and shabby stool was sitting no one else but the Puppet King, King Aurelius II. His obese form was hidden by the darkness, only his face was illuminated by the stray moonlight rays coming from the window. Every time he shifted his weight the stool would creak in protest, and that sound would echo through the throne room.
He was sitting there and waiting patiently. “Anytime now… *Creak.”
*ECHO *Echo *echo…
He did sense something because the shadows pulled together to form a blurry and vague shape of a spider.
“Aurelius II.” The spider chirped in a low and rusty chirp. “Consider my end of the Deal completed.” The spider dropped a neat bundle of black parchments next to Aurelius II.
*Creak “Marvelous.” He leaned to pick up the bundle. “With this, I will be…” He looked at where the spider should have been. “… Gone already, whatever.” He retrieved the gold-threaded parchments and leaned back all giddy.
*CREAK! – this was the last straw for the tired stool and it broke under the Puppet King.
His royal ass fell to the floor with a thump, but luckily he didn’t feel a thing. The sight was indignant, but also, there was no one to witness it.
He stood up with the parchments pressed dearly to his chest. “They’ll see!” He kicked at the broken stool scattering the pieces. “I’ll show them…” He trampled. “Puppet King, bah!” He spat. “I am the Super King!”
Envigorated he walked back to his room. Well, no sane man would call this a room because this was more like storage for apparently old and misused books. The titles on the book covers were very risque, decadent even. But those were only covers. To him, these weren’t just dirty books, they were his battle tomes.
“My collection is finally complete.” He nodded happily at the many-many tomes.
He moved a stack of books revealing a set of armour hidden right beneath.
“I’m glad I bought this.”
He began to put on the armour pieces. The armour was clearly spider made, each piece reinforced and enchanted many times. And the best was that it fit his generous proportions very well.
He patted the dark plate and it made a dull sound. “Glem.” He recalled the name of the unfamiliar material. “Feels heavy!” He strained to even move an inch.
But that problem was no problem at all. He retrieved one of the many Strength Potions he had and gulped it down. “Better.” He was able to move easily. “Now…” Then he drank not, one, not two but three Fertility Potions. “I can feel it. The virility. The POWER!” And for good measure, he gulped a full bottle of Slug Jelly. “Rah!!!” He roared like a beast.
His hand moved quickly finding the right one in the endless stack of tomes. He knew those books by hand, he memorised every dirty title and all the hidden Magic Scrolls they harboured. “Rah! [Multicast][Levitate]”.
Two pages in the ‘Garbalar: The Shackles and The Steaming Dungeon’ burned in blue flame.
The whole library of dirty ‘books’ took flight like bees and buzzed around Aurelius II. There were so many that he could barely see past them.
“Ha-ha-ha.” He cackled in a maddened tone. “They will see. [Earth Ram].”
A page in ‘Fifty Strikes and Forty Lashes’ turned to ash. A battering ram formed in front of him out of thin air and then collapsed a wall in his room. The frigid wind of the night blew through the massive hole.
“Rah!” He jumped through the hole and out of the high tower.
The gravity took hold of his armoured and well-fed body and he pummeled down like a wrecking ball.
“[Wind Blast!]” With another page burned, his fall was stopped abruptly and he landed gallantly.
He reached for a bandolier-like belt strapped to his chest, it held a plethora of advanced potions. His fingers found the Speed Potion and without even thinking about the accumulating Toxicity he gulped that down.
“[Multicast], [Empower]” He invoked making the ‘Garbalar’ series lose a few more pages. But he had just begun. He took a big breath in. “[Shadow Form], [Dark Shroud], [Ethereal Speed], [Night Barrier], [Six-Legged-Menace], [Spider Eye], [Dark Sight], [Obsidian Boosted]!” He said in a quick and practised voice.
Multiple blue flames flashed across the many spinning tomes, those died as soon as they appeared, and the tomes continued buzzing around him as if nothing happened. As a result, the image of the King kept changing. It was shrouded, it was blurred, it was obfuscated, it was turned to a shadow, it was monsterified.
“Rah! This isn’t even my final form!” He took another big breath in…
…
The black-robed spiders gathered in a nest-like structure. Having no windows the structure was filled with impenetrable darkness. No, that was not entirely true, the darkness here was dispelled by multiple flames dancing atop well-positioned braziers. Those flames were Dark Flames and it was a contradictory spell: the flame was dark like the name implied but even then it somehow provided light. Again, not entirely correct because it didn’t provide light, it provided sight; similar but not the same. In better words it granted Vision despite the darkness; it was that sort of a spell.
The black-robed spiders were encircling a golden pedestal, on it was a very special book – True Dark Tome. The pages were turning on their own and the spiders were diligently following its instructions. The tome was ‘showing’ them how to improve the Soul Crystals and how to bind them to spider souls.
But also it was showing them other many things, also related to this endeavour. Things of dark nature: magics forbidden, spells impossible, rituals unusual, enchantments improbable. Actually, none of it was tangible or clear and often hard to read and understand. The things it showed were only possibilities with unclear outcomes.
The tome was speculating and the spiders were here to complete those ideas. In a way, they had to find a missing link, solve a hard puzzle, develop a previously unseen glyph or fill in the gaps in magical formation. Only then the improbable would become probable and the spell would be complete.
Not one but many, many spiders worked to solve these puzzles. This was a combined effort of spider mages as a whole. A study of unprecedented size and proportion. Of course, the ‘if’ wasn’t even a question, it was only when will they be victorious.
In the end, the codes were cracked, the puzzles solved and the magical formations completed. And all of the experience was documented properly in an entirely new tome. A tome composed by the most bright and talented spider mage of them all, Spider Archmage. Hence so, the means to spider Immortality were achieved and the True Spider Tome was completed.
But then a tragedy struck the spiders. With the last page finished the True Spider Tome did something unpredictable. It shot towards the True Dark Tome, engulfing it in spidery pages and began consuming it whole. The true spider tome ate the true dark tome; a spider ate the darkness.
The spider mages panicked at that moment. An artefact entrusted to them by their King was being destroyed. And in such an unbelievable way! It happened so fast that they couldn’t even save a single page.
With the last scribble devoured The Spider Tome burned in blinding Dark Flame. Something was happening to it. The spiders chirped in alarm fearing even greater calamity. However, the blinding light subsided, revealing the greedy tome, now even bigger and darker than previously. It was just sitting there on a golden pedestal, in that place where the True Dark Tome used to be enshrined. It was just there, still and innocent as if something very crazy didn’t happen just a moment ago.
Spider Archmage inched closer to the suspicious tome. Whatever the ‘book’ was, it didn’t look like a tome he was writing for the past few weeks. The feast made the tome to somehow transform? He touched the suspicious item with a cautious hand, trying to identify it.
“Spider-Nom-Nomicon.” The Spider Arcmage chirped the new name of the artefact-grade item.