The Spider King stood in front of a wooden building, both the master of the place and the shop shared the name – Crimson Alchemist. Unsurprisingly, there was a line of customers forming by the entrance of the building. It seemed to be rather popular. The queue wasn’t too long, but he was slightly lost at what to do.

He turned to look at his companion. “I just want to say hello, but jumping the queue would be rude.”

“Say no more.” She said simply.

The Centauri Champion just ignored the line and went inside the building. Soon a well-dressed lady ran out of the building with centauri right behind her. He hadn’t met the Crimson Alchemist in person, they had only exchanged letters, so he only had a vague description of her. Lady Crimson was known to have a nasty burn scarring half of her face and fiery red hair. The well-dressed lady here was a redhead, but there was no scar present on her face. It was hard to be sure.

However, he ventured to guess. “Lady Crimson?”

“Spider King? I mean, my King.” Her surprise was replaced by a curtsy bow. “I’m sorry I didn’t know you’ll be visiting. I must have missed the message.” She finished her bow with an apology.

“It’s because I haven’t sent one. Thinking about it, I should have let you know. My apologies.” He also bowed.

The Centauri Champion had an obvious scowl, and she was itching to say something but remained quiet.

“King, please, you don’t have to bow. People are watching.” Lady Crimson leaned in closer for a whisper. “Now there will be no end of gossip. I made the King bow to me… so embarrassing.” She gestured with her hand invitingly. “Please come inside.”

The Spider King was led towards the back of the building, presumably a side entrance.

“How about your customers? I feel bad to make them wait.”

She smiled. “I have people running the shop. As you can see, I am rather successful so I can afford staff. Of course, all thanks to the business you’ve brought me.” She opened the back doors inviting everyone in.

There was an unexpected presence in the room: someone tall, well-dressed, undeniably charming and decorated with thick chains of gold and other shiny trinkets.

“Lord G Bling? I didn’t expect to see you here.” The Spider King exclaimed with surprise.

The spider in question was standing cosily in the middle of the room, he had a book in his hand, something the spider must have been reading.

“My King?” The spider was just as surprised as him. A spidery bow soon followed.

The Spider King opened his mouth to ask about the book, but he stopped himself abruptly. The title on the book cover was peculiar, but hey, each to their own. Instead, he looked around the room, the walls were lined by shelves, all full of books, and even the floor had towering piles of literature. He scanned the book titles with a quick glance, none of them were alchemical books, his best guess was that all of them were a type of fiction.

“Is something wrong?” Lady Crimson asked with concern.

Yeah, maybe he was looking around too much and too obviously. However, this particular library of books was just too bizarre. All of the books here were for adults, no let’s be more precise, they were erotic books!

He had no place to judge what adults read in their spare time. And he didn’t. “I just expected something like jars of monster parts, bubbling potions, shelves lined with bottles. You know, stuff like that.”

Lady Crimson let a short giggle. “I get you, I do. But you know, I have a life outside work.”

“Of course, but these books...” He grabbed a random one. “The Secret Journey of a Mile-Long Rope.” He read a random title. “The Whip, The Feather, and The Maiden.” He read another one.

The Lady Crimson developed a red tinge on her cheeks.

“My King.” The spider chirped. “You have a good eye to pick these masterpieces. I recommend them both.”

“Right…” So, the spider had those tastes too. “Anyway, I’m here just to say hello. And it looks like I will be shooting two birds with one stone.” He plopped on a nearby coach without invitation. “So, It looks like you two are friends?” He asked casually.

Lady Crimson relaxed realising that this won’t be about business, she joined him but on another couch nearby. The Centauri Champion walked closer to a bookshelf; she was looking at the titles with curiosity.

“We are more than friends.” The spider chirped setting the book down on the nearby table. “We are…”

The Lady Crimson moved quickly to shut the spider’s mandibles with her hands. Unfortunately, her hands were too petite to achieve that.

“… going to be married soon.”

And here was another shock. “You are getting married?!”

“Yes.” The spider chirped it as if it was no big deal at all.

Well, that was new. The Spider King looked at the blushing Lady Crimson. The name ‘Crimson’ did suit her in so many ways.

She nodded meekly whispering, “Yes.”

“Amazing! Congratulations!” He said that, but honestly, he didn’t understand what was really going on.

One of his spiders married a human, he never even thought that this was a possibility. Huh, the spiders grow up so fast… but also, they don’t live for very long either. He looked at Lord G Bling, what did the spider had? – Two or three years more before the spider passed away leaving its offspring behind. Admittedly the offspring would have the Lord G Bling’s experiences and all of his memories, but also, they would be spiders with their own personalities. So should he bring that dilemma to the engaged couple or did they think that through already?

The spider was saying something and the intrusive thoughts had made the Spider King lose focus.

“Sorry, can you say that again?” He asked the spider.

“Spider King, I’m asking do I have your blessing?”

“Oh, of course! You don’t need to ask for my permission. You can marry whoever you want.” He said the most obvious thing.

The spider chirped happily, and the Lady Crimson let out a relieved sigh.

“How about your family, Lady Crimson?” He asked with a tinge of worry. “Do they have any concerns?”

“The only family I have is my Daddy. I brought Lord G Bring once for a family dinner and it was my Daddy who said I have to marry this charming spider.” She shuffled closer to the spider hugging his arm.

“Really?” This dad must be a very open-minded person. “He sounds like a great dad. I would like to meet him.” But wait, wasn’t she talking about the old Crimson Alchemist? He was sure that her father was dead…

Lady Crimson shuffled in her seat somewhat uncomfortably.

“He’s in the basement now. Sleeping… Should I get him?” She asked looking uncomfortable.

The spider shook his head to signal a silent no.

Yeah, something was suspicious here. “No-no, let's not disturb the old Master. I’m sure I’ll meet him when the time is right.” He said so relying on his gut instinct.

The Lady Crimson relaxed visibly.

“So when is the marriage ceremony?”

“Well, that’s exactly it.” The spider began. “We didn’t tell you because it clashes with your celebration.”

“We didn’t want to take your light away.” Lady Crimson added.

This was a somewhat strange expression – ‘taking light away’, but he understood what Lady Crimson implied. But…

“It’s not like I am celebrating anything. I’m just here because Aurelius II invited me.”

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

“My King, but you essentially control the Aurelian Dutchy now. It will be in your domain. A momentous celebration we spiders worked very hard for.”

Did they? Wait… was all of this the doing of the spiders? Why? How?

“Ah… of course, it’s you who made this happen. Yes, I will celebrate. But you can celebrate with me. There is no problem. You know what?” He had an idea. “During my address to the Aurelian people, I’ll bless your marriage publicly. This will bring the spiders and humans even closer. And then we all can celebrate together.” Once again, he will crush two mice with one hammer.

“Understood.” The spider chirped simply.

The Lady Crimson, however, was crying for some reason. “Thank you… I am so happy.”

“Please, no need to cry. I’m just happy that there are others who love spiders as much as I do if not more.”

Lord G Bling was tapping his fiancé’s tears away with a blue handkerchief, ever the gentleman.

After a brief pause, the conversation shifted to more mundane matters. It was about potions.

“My King, which potion do you think brings the most money to an alchemist?”

The Spider King tapped a nearby table while thinking. “A potion which is rare and strong. I don’t know many examples, but something that allows you to regenerate limbs, or gives strength to fight a dragon.”

Lady Crimson shook her head. “I get your way of thinking, but you are wrong. It’s the potion which sells the most.”

“Like what?”

“In my example, a Fertility Potion.”

“Really?” He was surprised.

“Really. The ingredients are cheap, it is simple to make, and the effects are potent. But most importantly it flies off the shelves in no time. There is always demand for it. And you know what?”

He gave a cue for her to continue.

“The other alchemists, the proud fools that they are, couldn’t even figure out how to make it. By the time they realised that all that it takes is TomGrape, I had the Fertility Potion market cornered. And with the help of my beloved.” She hugged the spider tighter. “I get my TomGrape and Scorpion Glass bottles for free. There is no way for them to compete with us! Ha-ha-ha!” She laughed maniacally.

The spider had something to add. “Yes. We’re buying out our competitors and increasing the selection of the potions we sell. The enterprise runs at a loss at the moment, but as soon as we have the potion market cornered, we will increase the prices and reap tenfold returns.”

Well, that sounded like a plan, but why was he getting these sinister vibes from the two? The pair looked like some sort of mafia bosses who would run alchemy shops from the shadows.

Anyway, it was a legitimate way to do business. “Amazing! Congratulations!” Was his reply. “On another note, I’ve been curious for a while now. Why is everyone so fat? I mean the citizens. What happened?”

“Oh, that?” Lady Crimson began knowingly. “They’re not drinking enough Spider-FizzPop™, it's as easy as that.”

That wasn’t the answer he expected. But yeah, ‘why are the people?’ was a stupid question, everyone knew the whys. That’s why she gave that answer, offering a solution.

“I understand what you’re saying. That drink we make does have negative calories.”

She gave him a puzzled look. “I did my experiments… I thought it was something like negative energy or a draining effect. Or is ‘negative calories’ the correct term to use?”

“Forget it. So what were you saying is that we need to sell it as some sort a cure?”

“Yes, it negates the Obese negative status effect and with the right dose it can make people slimmer.”

“However,” the spider began, “It’s not the price or popularity that is an issue. We just don’t have enough Spider-FizzPop™.”

Indeed, the drink required the water from the Mana Spring. And there was only so much of that to go around.

“I wonder if we could make a similar mixture using Dark Rain, it’s not exactly the same as Mana Spring Water but it has some magic mixed in it.” He proposed.

Lady Crimson shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I didn’t even know Dark Rain was a thing.”

“I’ll send you the samples when I have time. Maybe you can concoct something similar. Or maybe even better.”

“Spider-FizzPop™ is a revolutionary potion! And it’s your recipe. If I manage to improve the potion, I’ll give all the credit to you, my King. Speaking of which, here have a look.” She produced a small potion bottle from her pocket.

It was half-empty giving evidence of being used.

“[Identify].”

Item: Fertility Potion+

Quality: Superior

Bonuses

[Fertility], [Concentrated], STA +50

Description

This potion is concentrated to provide an even bigger boost to one’s virility and stamina.

“You improved that, nice! I wouldn’t expect anything less from the master alchemist. I assume you’ll be selling these soon?”

“With your permission, yes.”

“Your betrothed, Lord G Bling, has all the authority to grant the permissions like that. You don’t have to ask me that. But I appreciate you sharing your findings with me.” After all, he too had a minor interest in potions.

“That’s why I’m sharing it with you. I’ve heard you’re trying for a child.” She gave a wink. “I assure you this will help.”

“Oh…” A normal Fertility Potion was already way too much, he had no problem in that department. Actually, the Concentrated version was something to be hidden from his wife, and at all costs. She was already too aggressive! “Thank you.” He pocketed the little bottle.

Lady Crimson smiled. “My king, not this one.” She motioned asking the potion back. “I have more in the basement workshop. I’ll give you a whole box later.”

“Oh…” He’ll have to hide it somewhere safe. Far and deep, in the darkest corner of the vault. “Thanks, I appreciate the gift.” He bowed ever so slightly out of politeness.

For some reason, the Lady Crimson was looking at him expectantly.

“Yes?” He inquired.

She nuzzled closer to the spider. “We too are trying for a child.” She kissed Lord G Bling’s chitinous cheek.

“Yes.” The spider chirped.

He’d almost screamed ‘Eh!’ with all his might. He didn’t know where to begin. The spider just didn’t have those types of body parts, they reproduce by cloning themselves. And… so they were being physical. How did that work? He had no idea… Nor did he want to imagine, especially considering the books the two liked to read.

No-No, let's stop judging! Whatever makes them happy. “And how can I help?” He asked following the hins the two were making.

“A rumour caught my ears that Monster System can evolve humans. Is that true?” She asked expectantly.

Huh, so the rumours did spread fast, after all, he just landed here. “Yes.” He confirmed.

“To be honest I made that potion to help us, but it seems that we need more help.” She swirled the potion. “I’m thinking to evolve my body. Then, at least in the eyes of the system, both of us would be monsters. Conception might be a lot easier then.”

But even then… the spider still would need to grow certain parts. The road the two were trying to follow was a bumpy one. But they were his friends, and he will help them.

“I understand what you’re asking. I’ll make sure you have enough Slug Jelly for that. But what makes the Evolve? message to pop up, I still don’t know. You’ll have to figure that part out yourself, once you do, call me. I’ll Evolve you.”

“Thank you, Spider King.” It was Lord G Bling who bowed and thanked.

The evening was getting near, so it was about time to go. He glanced at his companion who was engrossed in one of the books. It looks like she found a story she liked.

“I think, it’s time for us to go.” He stood up from the comfortable couch.

“To the party, yes?” Lady Crimson asked. “We’re going there too. But I still need to get ready, so if you wait for us…”

They could go together, but… “I want to catch Aurelius II before the party starts. There’re important matters to discuss.” Namely, the Angel and the Holy Empire.

“Of course… You must be very busy. I’m sorry for not realising. I didn’t mean to stop you or intrude. It has been my pleasure to host you in my humble home.” She said it in an overly polite way.

He’d almost felt bad for not waiting for her so that they could come together. “I’ve enjoyed my stay and I’m glad I got to meet you Lady Crimson. I’ll see you two there in the evening, please don’t be shy to approach me for a chat.” With that, he turned to leave.

The Centauri Champion, immersed in the book, didn’t even notice him leaving.

The Spider King clicked his tongue twice without thinking, it was a calling used to call a horse.

“Huh?” She looked at him. “Oh! Yes.”

To call someone like that might be seen as wrong, but it didn’t seem to be a problem here.

“Lady…” The centauri hesitated. “Lady Crimson, may I borrow this book?”

“Ah! Another person who appreciates fine art. Of course, and keep it. Consider it a gift.”

Centauri Champion wagged her tail happily and gave a broad smile.

The Spider King gave a curious look at the cover of the book: ‘The Stable Master and The Virgin Mare’; a not-so-surprising choice. But what did the local people consider a mare, since there were no horses in this world? The current holder of a ‘horse’ title in this world was a rather mean and carnivorous beast, closer to a reptile than a mammal; neither loyal nor trustworthy.

His curious gaze causes a certain mare to react. “What? It’s for study purposes.” She said with a blush. “I’m still learning how to read and write the human language. This will help me.”

Ah yes, there was that. The Centauri spoke the Demon language, but after they came here, they had to learn Spider Chirp and then the Common Human language.

He too was slightly interested in a few titles he noticed lying nearby, but he was too shy to ask for it. “No, nothing. Let’s go.”

…

Inside the Royal Palace, in the empty Throne Room, on a small stool which has been repaired way too many times, sat an incredibly plump and round man.

“Where is he? I sent a greeting party as soon as he landed that … construct.” Duke Aurelius the Great was talking to himself. “But he wasn’t there. Gone without the trace.” He even told his men to look for the Spider King, but it was as if no one had even detected his presence.

“You would think a King is hard to miss.” But apparently, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. “Or maybe he just went to lurk in shadows… like that spider.” Aurelius remembered a certain acquaintance who liked to pop in at midnight, uninvited.

”Ah!” He explained in realisation. “He just wants to make a dramatic entrance! Come when no one expected him. Yes! Let's prepare the stage for him.”