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I have been blessed by Chaos but all I want to do is chill on a farm
136.5 – Booze Liberation Army Always Strikes At Midnight

136.5 – Booze Liberation Army Always Strikes At Midnight

The full moon was basking the City in the luminescent glow. The sky was clear without a single cloud, and if one looked up they would see a group of bats flying; it’s just that the bats were unusually large. However, the bats weren’t a rare sight here so most people didn’t even give a single glance.

“It must be either in the warehouse or that large tower.”

*Sniff, “I reckon it’s the tower.”

*Sniff, “Yeah, my nose tells me so too.”

“I can practically taste it!”

The bats fluttered their wings with increased vigour getting ever closer to the large tower.

“The window isn’t even barred. What are they thinking?”

“And there are no guards.”

“Well, it's rather high.” The bat pointed at the distant ground below. “There are a few of them down below. Right by the tower entrance.”

“They still haven’t noticed us, let's be quick.”

“He-he!”

Later, the same night, if one dared to look up towards the moon they would see a rather odd peculiarity. No, it wasn’t the surprising size of the bats, it was the sight of them clinging to round barrels and struggling to fly them through the sky.

“Huh!?” The midnight walker rubbed his eyes and looked up again. “I’m seeing things now… I should go easy on the booze.” He looked at the bottle of RotGrogg in his hand and took another swing from it. “Man, this is foul…” But it was the best the lucky few could still afford; there was just no booze left around.

“That Warlord!” He spat. “Hoarding all the good stuff for himself.” Then he took another gulp of foul liquid, completely ignoring the real sight happening right above.

Later, in the morning a panicked man burst through the bedroom’s door.

“My Lord, my lord!” He shouted.

“What is it?” Jerico rubbed his still sleapy eyes. “Are we under monster attack again? I told you to deal with it by yourselves.”

“No! The booze is gone!”

“What do you mean gone?!” He jumped out of his bed.

“It’s all gone!”

“A night raid? How? We left plenty of guards. Why I didn’t hear an alarm?!”

“You have to see it. It’s just gone!”

Jerico rushed to the tower. The guards were there, the gate was fine, there was no damage, but inside of the tower, it was all empty.

“But how?” It was as if the booze just evaporated.

There was only one explanation. The guards turned against him and looted his personal stores! He glared at his men.

“Is this a sick joke? Am I not paying you enough? Who is responsible?”

“I swear, we don’t know what happened.” A tired night guard replied shakily.

“Then we came for our shift, It was already like that,” the day guard explained taking no blame.

“Nonsense! You’ll talk, or I’ll execute you myself!”

Embers of discord were lit that day. To be the Warlord, to rule over all bandits, one thing was necessary – booze. Without it, the bandits would soon turn violent and unruly… And a lot of high-quality stuff was taken. Either way, Jerico will have to find it or impose even higher taxes in the city to replenish the lost supply.

Needless to say, the Commanders didn’t receive their allotment for the day, no one did. And actually this wasn’t the only store which happened to be raided so mysteriously. In just one night, the entire City was liberated from fiery liquids of all kinds! Even the RotGrogg went missing, and only suicidal lunatics drank that.

All seven Bandit Leaders had gathered at the not-so-secret meeting. The seven were surrounded by large piles of barrels and bottles, a veritable mountain of booze.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this!”

“Just look at all the booze.”

“How?”

Roe Banditesa gave them an evil grin. “Doesn’t matter how. What matters is that Jerico is done! Now take your booze and later we’ll take the city.”

“And your…” One of the leaders paused meaningfully. “Dark Patron, will he help us with that?”

Three of the leaders gave curious looks because they never met this ‘Patron’.

“My sponsor is preoccupied. But he left us this.” She unwrapped a large pie.

“Ah, I know this.”, “So this is it?”, “Is there more?”, some knew of it already.

“A pie?”, “Huh?”, “What is it?”, and some didn’t know.

Roe pointed with her finger. “Midnight Pie. This is our power, go have a slice.”

Each took a slice. Three ate with courage and three ate with suspicion.

“Ah, I see!” The suspicion disappeared.

“So this is our strength?”

Roe shook her head. “No, this is my strength. I command the Vamps and I have all the booze,” she pointed at the barrels. “I am the Warlord now.”

The leaders nodded, they had already agreed on that.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“How about that Palm Juice? I heard it’s better than the usual stuff?”

Roe glared at the bandit. “You’ll get that after we take the City.”

Part of the agreement with the Bandit Leaders was that they needed to liberate their slaves and bound servants; that condition was an unnegotiable set by the Spider King. Roe Banditessa achieved that agreement with both threats and bribes; this was just how the bandits worked.

Anyway, the liberated humans were pooled into a large group and were currently guided by the rabbits. They were unsure about their future since it didn’t look too bright. The Bandit Camps weren’t exactly homely, but at least they were safe there from the monster attacks.

And no one knew about this new place they were being led to. Allegedly it was called New Garden, but for all they knew it could be yet another bandit camp to slave and toil without a single thank you. Of course, there were promises of safety, warm homes and plentiful food. However, the bandits lured unsuspecting peasants with similar promises. One day you agree to pay the bandits for protection from monsters and the next day they come to take all your stuff.

They left the bandit camps, yes, but for the many, it meant that only the leadership changed; from bandits to humanoid rabbits. In other words, even if they were ‘free’ only a few humans truly felt liberated. To be free you needed a place to call home, you needed something which you could call yours… And all of that was taken either by the bandits or the monsters.

Currently, the large group was progressing through the forest; the rabbits insisted on making this shortcut even if the place was infested with monsters. No one here was a real fighter, and only a few adult rabbits were leading this otherwise massive group. Understandably, everyone was on edge. It was only a matter of time until…

“SSS!” A massive monster hissed at the group.

It was a massive Viper Devourer, a twelve-metre-long snake with a maw large enough to swallow a human whole. Worse, it was capable of shooting venom using its Venom Spray attack.

The humans screamed and fled in fear to bundle up further away from the monster; No one could face a threat of this level! – No one sane would… but for some reason, the rabbits stepped forward to face the terrifying monster.

“SSS!” Viper Devourer charged to devour the nearest rabbit, but also, the youngest of them.

“[Spring Step],” the rabbit hopped to a side and towards a thick tree.

Her legs connected with a tree bark and then a powerful kick propelled her past the viper and out of its charge.

“SSS!” It tried to snatch the rabbit out of the air but failed, instead its face was slashed with a dagger.

“ᛒᛖ ᚲᚨᚱᛖᚠᚢᛚ ᚦᛖᚱᛖ ᛗᛁᚷᚺᛏ ᛒᛖ ᛗᛟᚱᛖ,” the rabbit spoke commandingly in her strange language.

“[Hop]”, “[Hop]”, “[Zoom]”, the other rabbits disappeared to the overgrowth leaving their comrade alone.

“Are they fleeing?! Leaving us to die?!” Someone questioned.

It might not be so, not at all! – the rabbit kicked at the other tree and flew past the viper’s head slashing it again.

“ᛞᛟᚾ×ᛏ ᛗᛟᚢᛖ. ᛁ ᚺᚨᚢᛖ ᚦᛁᛊ.” She spoke something to the bundled humans. “[Hop], ᚲᚨᚱᛖᚠᚢᛚ, [Spring Step]”.

The viper tried to spray the little rabbit with poison but missed, the rabbit once again just zoomed past the monster. She hopped on a branch which was clearly too thin to support her weight, and yet it somehow did.

Just like before, she kicked at the thick branch and propelled herself at an impossible speed. “[Lunge], [Slash]”.

“Sss-shash!” The Viper Devourer cried out in pain; a large gash was left on its side.

Enraged the monster tried to retaliate against the rabbit, but it just couldn’t catch the rabbit who kept zooming past the monster and slashing it. The humans looked perplexed at the acrobatic moves the rabbit was pulling off. She used trees or branches to kick off and launch himself at the monster with breakneck speed. Sometimes she ran through nothing but leaves, leaving the biting viper with nothing but a mouthful of plant matter. Every time the rabbit flew past the monster she scored a nasty Slash. Viper Devourer was a formidable monster with a large HP pool, but it didn’t mean it was bottomless.

In the end, the viper collapsed to the mossy forest floor letting out its last “Sss…”.

“ᛟᚲᚨᛁ, ᚹᛖ×ᚱᛖ ᚷᛟᛟᛞ” The little rabbit spoke to the humans waving them to carry on forward.

Humans just looked in disbelief. How could a single rabbit be this strong? She is so little! It was almost scary.

As they proceeded through the forest, soon the missing rabbits joined up. Their pristine silver pelts carried a few blotches or streaks of crimson, telling that they too fought similar battles like this, and seeing was believing so the humans felt safer with the rabbit company; especially next to the little rabbit.

“Hey look!” A boy pointed at the nearby tree.

A young rabbit was hopping from one branch to the other.

“Yes! And there too?” A girl pointed to a different side.

A rabbit was running practically atop the leaves.

“So cool, how do they do that?!” A boy exclaimed excitedly.

“I want to do that too!” A girl said pointing at the zooming rabbits.

Indeed, the forest was full of scary monsters, but the rabbits were experts at dispatching them.

Much later, the group emerged out of the forest and into the plains. And even later they reached the end of their destination.

“What is this?” An old farmer strained his eyes to see better.

In the distance, past the wild vastness of the unruly grass, there was a shiny field of silver.

“Clovers?” An old farmer guessed.

The rabbits smiled at the humans urging them to march faster, since everyone was curious they did just so. The group ran up to the silver field and looked at the magical sight with wonder.

“Are they edible?” A hungry man asked, and without waiting for an answer he pushed a silver four-leaf into his mouth; he smiled at the taste.

The old farmer Identified the plant. “It’s unlike anything I’ve seen before.”

One of the rabbits approached the old farmer and handed him a bag.

“Seeds?” He looked happily at the contents. “Ah, you must know I’m a high level Farmer. Thank you.” He bowed in gratitude.

“ᚾᛟ ᛈᚱᛟᛒᛚᛖᛗ,” the rabbit replied and hopped to another human to hand more of the seeds.

Tears welled up in the old farmer’s eyes. After the fall of the kingdom he wasn’t able to do what he liked the most… He bit into a single seed testing its quality.

“Oh! We can make bread out of this!” His Farmer class told so. “And…” Maybe he had stayed with the bandits for too long but… “We can brew beer!”

If the sound of bread didn’t catch the nearby human’s attention the word ‘beer’ did, and everyone looked at the old farmer with expectation.

“It’s clear what they want us to do. Let's find a good field and plant these.” He urged his friends.

And just like that, the humans settled at the border of the AshenClover fields, only to expand it further. The monsters of course were the ever-present threat, however, unlike the old lords and wannabe bandits, the rabbits reacted to the threat urgently and efficiently. Of course, such protection was never free, the humans here had learned that the hard way. However, as hard as it was to believe, the rabbits seemed to be different from the previous overlords – not once did they come to collect any tax of any kind; it was rather strange. It seemed that the Rabbits were just happy to see the silver fields expand.

Actually, the humans here received a substantial amount of charity from the rabbits. It wasn’t just seeds to start the fields, but also clothes, tools, and building materials. And while there was a language barrier still, the rabbits were keen to help the humans in various activities like building houses or digging a well. Interestingly, most of the children were rather smitten by the rabbits hence often running away from home to play with them. But hey, children were children, you can’t expect them to do farmwork all day.

In the end, the rabbits weren't overlords or masters sent here to watch over farmers and peasants, no, they were just good neighbours and good friends. It was rather strange for this Spider King, supposed Master of the Rabbits, to set the people free from bandits and then… just leave them be without imposing any further demands. If so, he was a King unlike any other.

And all was well, until…

“Mom, when I check my Status, It says have this Tamed thing. What does it do?” A kid asked.

“Huh?”