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I have been blessed by Chaos but all I want to do is chill on a farm
134 – Join The Dark Side, We Have Palm Juice! 🍹

134 – Join The Dark Side, We Have Palm Juice! 🍹

The bandits here were no doubt hardened criminals, and this camp was only one of many camps plaguing the Fallen Kingdom, however, they were still people; and there were reasons they were pushed to banditry. Moreover, a kingdom without people would be useless, that’s why the Spider King plotted to bring the bandits under his wing, or in other words reform them.

It didn’t take a genius to know what the Bandit Leader wanted, it was power. He will use that desire and slowly bind her to his command. Yes, she will be a tool to acquire the remaining bandit camps, but also an example for other bandits.

But first, he needed to butter up the bandit a bit more. The foul swill the Bandit Leader had offered was replaced with a crystalline bottle containing Palm Juice.

“Try this,” he urged.

Roe Banditessa smelled the clear liquid first and then took a small sip from the glass.

“It’s good!” She downed the rest of it. “What is it?”

“Just some juice from the desert. If you think that was good, the next one will blow your mind.” The Spider King rolled up his sleeves and mixed his special cocktail.

“What’s in it?” Roe asked despite having seen him make it.

“The ingredients are secret.” He teased putting a slice of TomGrape on the side of the glass. “Ta-da, I call this –Charmer's Concoction.” He pushed the glass closer to her hand.

Roe gave him a puzzled look. “Charmer’s… Concoction…” She voiced in amazement. “Doesn’t sound like something I should drink, but… I can’t resist.” Roe gave a brave gulp out of the decorated glass.

And then she quaffed the entire cocktail without taking a single break for breath. It was impressive that she didn't choke on the diced fruit bits, she just swallowed them together with the liquid; A professional drinker, eh? Or maybe that’s just how the bandits were.

“Another one!” She demanded.

To which the Spider King gladly obliged. Roe drank the second one just as quickly.

“You’re meant to enjoy them.” He spoke as if to remind.

“I am!” She protested. “Man, it seems I’ve been missing out on life… Is this what ya drink in yar kingdom?”

“We do… In moderation.”

Roe looked at the empty glass as if to urge him to fill it up.

“In moderation.” He reminded. “I rather don’t get you totally hammered. There is something I want to propose.”

She looked at him with curiosity.

“But first, let's go outside. There is something I want to show you.”

They both stood up from the table. Ups! – Roe was a bit wobbly on her feet so he had to jump in and support her.

“It seems that I’ve overestimated your constitution.”

“Nonsense.” She clung to his side. “I just tripped.”

They walked out of the longhouse, and from a glance, you would think that the two were the best buddies just leaving the pub, supporting each other as they walked and whatnot. Roe’s men, who were waiting right outside, gave curious glances at them but didn’t say anything.

He guided her right to where he left his noble mount.

“Now, observe this spider.” He motioned at his companion.

The spider perked up standing ever so taller and ever so intimidating.

“Very terrifying, yes.” She admitted.

“That’s not what I meant, check his stats.”

“But I’m not a Scribe. Shall I call him?” She turned to her men.

“No, it’s unessasary. You have access to the Monster System, just Inspect him.”

“[Inspect]”, a shiver ran down her back. “Okay…” She turned to look at the Spider King.

“Okay,” he nodded. ”Now I’ll bestow a boon to the Warrior Leader Jr. Observe it closely, I do this to show you that I could grant you a similar power if you prove yourself to be trustworthy.”

“Okay…” She repeated not too sure what to expect.

“Warrior Leader Jr, your promotion is a bit late, and I’m sorry for the delay, but here it comes.” He touched the side of the spider. “[Core Seed]”

And just like that it was done, of course, there were no physical changes, so he urged, “Inspect him again.”

Roe did just so, “[Inspect]”

Monster Race: Primordial

Variant: Spider Warrior (Giant)

Magic Affinity: None

🕷️ 🕷️ 🕷️

🕷️ 👑 🕷️

🕷️ 🕷️ 🕷️

HP:5000

MP:200

STA:1000

Active Perks

[SLAM!], [Trample+], [Sweep+], [Regeneration], [Empower Spiders], [Body Shield]

Passive Perks

[Giant], [Greater Strength], [Intimidating Presence], [Leader’s Aura], [Obsidian Armour], [Greater Vitality], [Perfect Mount]

Resistances

[Dark Resistance: Greater], [Physical Resistance: Lesser],

[Fire Weakness: Medium], [Light Weakness: Lesser]

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She read through the updated table. “He gained 100MP?” She asked just to check.

“Right, Monster Core doesn’t show up. Yes, that and a few new perks, plus a potential for better evolutions. Show her Discharge Core.”

“[Discharge Core]” Spider chirped.

Warrior Leader Jr developed a red-tinted glow and its body grew even bigger.

“ROAR!” The spider roared.

“Eek!”

The Bandit Leader crouched indignantly and her men scattered to all sides. Spider’s Intimidating Presence had finally pierced the bandit’s defences.

“Stand up,” he picked Roe up. “He won’t attack. He’s just showing off.”

“I… I see… It's like seeing a Berserker, but much worse.”

Oh, the spider could be much-much worse than that.

“Yeah, and with the monster core, it should eventually gain Magic Affinity and thus access to magic.”

“I will?” Warrior Leader Jr chirped excitedly.

“Eek!” Roe jumped to hide behind the Spider King.

The King ignored the bandit’s antics. “According to the Drow Assistant, you will. You’ll probably end up with Dark affinity like most of the spiders do.”

“No.” The spider protested. “I’m destined for Light! I’ll be shiny like a star in the sky. A royal mount to be envied by all.”

Apparently, the spider had big dreams, which somehow still involved Warrior Leader Jr giving the Spider King a ride. Awesome!

“And judging from your aura… feared. The entire camp is afflicted with Terror.” He mentioned of handedly.

“Oh…” The spider dispelled the perk shrinking to its natural size. ”Better?”

“Yes, thank you, oh mighty and shiny spider.” It was Roe who replied, still quivering.

Spider King turned to look at the Bandit Leader who was still clinging to him for her dear life; it was good no other bandits were present or else her otherwise ruthless image would have surely hit rock bottom.

“As you just saw, similar power could be yours.” Well not exactly, the woman could never match the greatness of the spider. “All you need to do is to switch sides. Forget that Jerico jerk or whatever was the name.”

“Consider it done… it’s not like I’d want to oppose… that.” She pointed at the spider. “Or you for that matter…”

It seems he had finally convinced the woman.

“Good. Now tell me the location of the other bandit camps. We’ll go and convert them too.” He looked directly at her eyes.

“We?”

“Well yeah. You know them better than I do, you’ll help me, won’t you?”

“Okay…”

“Then let’s come to my ship.”

And thus, he gained his first bandit follower. She will help him to flip the other bandit camps, but also he expected the bandits here to help with the monster extermination. After all, that was the original quest. And all quests needed a well-rounded party. Thinking about it: he was a mage, the spider was a tank, and the woman was a rogue, so all he was missing was a healer, a bard and an archer. The adventuring fantasy was within his reach!

“Hey, Roe? Do you have a competent Archer or a Bard in your camp?”

“Why?” She gave him a curious look.

“Nah, forget I asked, you probably don’t. I think my assistant could take that role with her Web Mastery. Slinging webs counts as a ranged attack no? Or is it more of a support role?”

She gave him a nonplussed look.

“Oh! And I already have a healer. I might just need to pinch her from Aurelius.”

“Huh?”

The Galleon Whale was in no rush to fly and convert the other bandit camps, not yet. According to Roe were seven in total, and the last boss was the Warlord’s City. The plan was simple, subvert the camps and make them rebel against this Jerico dude. A people's revolt was always more popular than for example a forced spider invasion, but of course, he will advertise his spiders as monster exterminators and also a part of the people's revolution.

But first, some cleanup was in order.

“This is the report.” The Drow Assistant handed him a neatly organised file.

It contained all the info on the Roe’s camp.

“There’s a lot of… slaves.” He looked at the rather large number.

“Yes, it’s the primary source of income for this camp.”

Indeed, his eye had caught a few of them. Those were mostly women and children, and worse of all, they were poorly looked after. The slaves here were bruised and famished.

“Well, that has to stop.”

“What do you suggest we do?” Drider asked.

“Obviously, they can't survive on their own. Let's send them to rabbits, they treat their humans right.”

“Roe won’t be happy about this.”

“You think she will rebel?” He asked his assistant.

“After all she saw? – no.”

“I’ll keep her distracted, and promise something in return. It will work out.”

“Do you still intend to take her to the other bandit camps?”

“Yes, I do. I hope that after seeing her, others will be more willing to become Corrupted Humans. The title is not exactly enticing.”

“Huh,” Drow Assistant chuckled. “They’re already corrupted, the whole lot of them.”

“I know… Will fix that. Slowly, with time.”

She noted something in her notebook. “…fix humans,” she muttered.

“Anyway, go and grab Roe for me, it’s time to depart.”

The drider promptly left the ship’s cabin.

“But it wouldn’t be wise to leave this place unsupervised, not until the rabbits arrive.” He concluded. “[Summon Darkness].” He called for his oath-bound bodyguard.

Darkness pulled at his shadow and coalesced into a ball resembling a black slime.

“Master, meow!” Darkness spoke in a stolen voice.

“Darkness, watch over humans for me, will you?”

“Yes, meow! You’ll come back soon?”

“Yeah, I reckon we’ll subvert another camp by the end of today, and then three more the next day. The rest will naturally just fall in line.”

“I wouldn’t expect any less, meow!”

*Knock, *Knock, someone knocked at the doorframe.

The doors were wide open, yet the person remained out of sight. Were they shy?

“Come in.” He encouraged.

Of course, it was Roe. She entered looking at the Darkness with suspicion.

“I didn’t want to interupt anything important.” She circled the slime giving it a wide berth to come closer to his desk. “I’m ready to go. Just one request…”

“Yes?”

“I talked with my men. I’ll be honest everyone is a bit tense. No offence but they see ya and yars as monsters…” she winced at the last word.

He motioned for her to make her request.

“Right… If you could leave some Palm Juice to my men, that would be appreciated. A noble gesture really, and something to soothe their nerves while I’m missing. Otherwise, I fear they might misbehave; if ya know what I mean?”

He did. “Consider it done, and I’ll leave a certain someone to supervise them until we’re back.” He looked at his pet Darkness.

“Hello, I’m Darkness.” It spoke in Roe’s voice.

“Eh!?” She was taken aback by a speaking slime. “Hello?” She replied uncertainly.

“Roe, I assure you Darkness is a well-behaved familiar, there is nothing to worry about.” He tried to de-escalate any future misunderstandings.

“If you say so… So when do we leave?”

“Now. Let's go to the control deck, you’ll have a full experience there.” He grinned.

“See ya later.” Darkness turned to shadow and disappeared.

The Galleon Whalle was soaring high towards the sky, but not without leaving a small gift. Numerous crates of Palm Juice were stacked atop each other. The bandits looked at the booze licking their lips already, however not a single one of them dared to come and pry even a single bottle open. You see there was a guardian by the crates, a mere black slime, a creature commonly found in the sewers of large cities, however, the men here were wary of this monster. There was just something unsettling about the slime.

Right after the flying ship disappeared from the horizon, the slime bobbed and quivered for the first time in a while.

“I’m in charge!” It said with shocking authority.

Strangely the voice sounded familiar.

“I’m the Bandit Leader! Yeah!” The slime shifted and expanded taking a more humanoid form.

“What a…”, “Eh?”, “Are you seeing this?”, the men and women said so and such while pointing at the slime.

Soon its transformation was complete, and instead of a slime, they were faced with a person all of them recognised. Sure, she was all tar-like black, rubbery looking and butt naked, but there was no mistake, the one standing infront of them was Roe Banditessa!

“What are ya gawking at!” She yelled. “Get me my clothes!” She commanded.

No one really understood what was happening, but either way, the bandits scrambled to obey the order.

A brave soul approached the changed woman.

“Roe,” He observed that even if the skin was black it had all the scars and signs of past injuries, “it's you isn’t it?”

“Of course it’s me, idiot!” She punched the man in the gut. “Watch where ya’r looking! All of yas!” She threatened.

Yeah, this was Roe alright.

However, “What did he do to you? Are you Cursed?” He asked what all of them were wondering.

The question was answered with another punch. “Mind yar own business.” She cracked a box open pulling a bottle out. “So ya want to drink or not?”

This was a stupid question. However, a doubt had risen in the brave man's mind: it was unlike Roe to share her drinks so freely, but low and behold she was handing one bottle after the other.

“I told ya not to gawk at me, didn’t I?!” She yelled at the man forcing everyone to back off. “[Drain]” A tentacle shot out from her shoulder and slammed into the man.

“Ah!” He yelped and passed out.

“Ignore him…” Roe, shook a bottle in her hand. “Come, get yar share while there still is some.”

Yeah, there was definitely something wrong with their Bandit Leader, but it was strangely hard to refuse service like that, after all, even if a bit rugged she still was an eye candy, and what bandit could say no to free booze…

“Tch!”, “Aww…”, “So that’s it.”, there were low grunts of disappointment directed at the loyal man who brought her the promised clothes.

“What?” He questioned the annoyed gazes.

“Finally!” Roe shot a tentacle to retrieve the clothes.

The clothes sunk into her body and then slowly reappeared on her tar-like skin. Bandits looked in amazement but didn’t question the new ability.

“Ah yes, I’ve almost forgotten.” Roe went to rummage deeper into the crates. “You see this.” She shook a rather fancy crystalline bottle. “Slug Jelly, that stuff will grant you power.”

Well, some bandits were tempted, but… “I don’t know if I want to become a slime.” Someone replied. “Ahhh!” That someone was punched in the gut.

“Ya won't, ya idiot. Ya’ll become a Corrupted Human. So volunteers?”

There was one foolish soul. Roe dispensed a tiny single drop to the bandit woman.

“Is that all it takes?” She questioned swallowing the drop. “Oh! It’s sweet! No…” She paused. “I can feel it. The power! [Status], yes!”

“Pipe down will ya? It’s temporary. Unless you unlock Evolve? … Anyone else?” She shook the bottle invitingly.

Free status boosts were a tempting thing, and seeing that there was no risk of becoming a slime there were more volunteers.

“Yes, yes, he-he.” Roe cackled while spiking the Palm Juice with Slug Jelly. “Join the Dark Side, become one with Darkness, he-he.” She put a plug on one bottle and uncorked the other. “I should have done this from the beginning. He-he. Master will be happy.”

Yeah, she was now talking with herself in the open. The bandits would be worried, but that wasn’t outside her character; to put it mildly, Banditessa was a bit mad,.

And the booze? It tasted even better with that extra sweetness.

“Hey, my Cook perks are back.” #Bandit1

“Oh? Yeah, me too. I have my old perks!” #Bandit2

“Yeah, but the Bandit class is nowhere to be seen…” #Bandit3

“Who cares, all the perks and skills are still there.” #Bandit4

“Guys! Guys!” #Bandit5 waved his hand in the air like crazy. “I have that Evolve? !”

“No!?” #Bandit6

“Go… Go see Roe, maybe you too can become a slime.” #Bandit7 teased obviously jealous.