Little chef Shadyna, preparing the greatest meal ever made!
Not in the sense of taste, mind you, but rather the scale. If this actually turns out to be real food, I might be able to solve world hunger!
For a few days at least.
_ Choruse: Good day,
_ Shadyna: Un! It's slow as expected, but it's coming along!
As I couldn't come up with a better idea to deal with the random massive bone pile appearing in OUTER SPACE for some reason, it was eventually decided that we would do what we
In other words, we cooked the bones.
And it worked.
Sateri, I'm pretty sure that's not what people meant when they called a taste (literally) out of this world…
Anyway~, a hotpot craft began as I used [Creation] on one of the bones. It only accepts [Powerful Old Bone] though, so I think it will become a broth rather than hotpot, just saying…
_ Melodyn: *Sighs* It is just as Su said, you cannot add other bones. Unfortunate~
_ Choruse: Unfortunate.
We are not even selling this and you girls are already trying to mix cheap ingredients to reduce cost?!
By the way, healing and resurrection spells were also brought into the discussion. That would have been my first choice too, if it weren't for Sateri's warning about the danger of flying trash from space (or something along those lines). The teahouse girls seemed content with that explanation, so the accidentally reviving (yet another) great evil dooming the world cliché was extinguished from inception.
This cute leafy pacifist will not fight if there is an alternative, un!
_ Shadyna: Give me a minute. I need to begin today's gathering first.
Whether we cook or revive these bones, we still need to collect all of the bones in the first place. In fact, I suspect the quest itself is probably gathering them, not what to do with it afterwards. Why? Because I have spent more time on this than all the previous unique boss fights combined, that's why!
Sateri's quests are way too extreme, seriously…
It's not like she wasn't aware of that either. She even made it possible to add bones just by throwing them directly into the crafting sphere, presumably to reduce the pain of opening the crafting menu to put them in manually. I appreciate the thoughtfulness, but not blasting something so hard it's scattered all over the world in the first place would have been much better you know~?
_ Choruse: Oh, right.
_ Melodyn: Everyone in previous shifts were amazed by its length and size~
I'm also amazed by your complete inability to phrase anything in a normal way!!!
For the record, we are talking about the tools I use to collect the bones. Because collecting them one by one and my sanity are mutually exclusive, I had to improvise a bit. After all, bones floating in empty space are just undesirable veggies in your soup (kind of). Being the honorable guildmaster of the strongest [Cooking] guild in the game, the solution to that was obvious:
Scoop them out.
With a ladle.
A very big ladle.
_ Shadyna: Gelly, bring it out please.
On my command, a wooden ladle with the cup part as big as a house appears above us. The handle is thin, and long. City block long, to be specific. Being made of leftover materials from our village construction, it's not of the best quality there is. Not that it's a problem per se. Anything will do as long as it can catch the floating bones.
I wanted to make it as big as the whole arena complex, though the crafting system wouldn't let me create a wagon larger than this size.
Yes, you heard that right. This is a ladle-shaped wagon. Although it's not possible to put the bones into the storage, the wagon's hitbox still collides with the bones, and therefore works perfectly fine as far as scooping up trash goes. Combined with [Air Cushion], no orbital trash is beyond my reach!
Lutena in her combat form had already departed shortly before the twin arrived by the way. Sure, using a pet dropped by a unique boss and another whose evolution could only be acquired by beating a unique boss (or something along those lines) to pull carts is probably not the most optimal play, but I'm definitely not making my NPC family do heavy labor, okay? Domestic violence is still violence!
Patting my pet who has acquired (half) humanoid form lightly, I send her to a different direction from Lutena. I would join them on other free days as well. For today though, there's something else requiring my presence.
_ Melodyn & Choruse: …
_ Shadyna: What's the matter?
_ Melodyn: Well, we knew that you were using wagons…
_ Choruse: But to be honest, we were expecting something else, since it was you.
Aren't you two implying something rude there…? My strategy is both peaceful and [Cooking]-related (kinda), so it's a perfect fit for me.
_ Shadyna: Ehm… What were you expecting then?
_ Melodyn & Choruse: Explosions, corpses, …exploding corpses?
What am I, some kind of maniacal necromancer?!
____________
It is not easy being a dedicated PKer, silently thinks the bandit leader while lying in the grass.
One has to let go of their compassion and empathy to strike down fellow players. Be quick, be efficient, and do not hesitate to kill begging players if they don't cough up items in exchange for their pathetic lives. Sure, it might be painful for your conscience, but that is way better than the pain you will feel when enemy's reinforcement comes and beats you up because you wasted valuable time.
And thanks to the meddling big guilds, it's no longer viable to attack settlements. The debuff totems, even the cheap mass-produced ones, drag out most assassinations for too long to conclude before pesky guards interfere. In fact, forget the towns. Even the sporadic tents along the trade routes are too much to deal with as enemies keep on coming despite the complete and utter destruction of the tents. Do those greedy guilds have a grudge against PKers or something?!
Attacking their main settlement AND caravans tend to cause such grievances, though there's no sane player around to explain it to them.
As the result, organized PKing is limited to one or two full parties max, lest the top four guilds notice the big gatherings and come sieging. With such numbers, the unaligned PKers who still stick to the profession resort to hit-and-run ambushes in the wilderness. The victims themselves worth nothing except for experience points. It's the banditry-related quests and the occasional successful extortions that are their main source of cash and ingredients.
In other words, it's your typical psycho highway robber-murderers, but once again, no sane person in the vicinity.
_ Bandit leader (Party): Caravan spotted! Two big wagons! No escort at the front except for the drivers.
_ Bandit #2 (Party): No escort?
To support the outnumbered PKers, caravan ambush quests usually provides bandit NPCs as allies. All in all, the system balances the fighting forces well enough to avoid making it too obviously one-sided in either direction, so it's surprising to see such defenseless caravan when their side numbers over 60.
_ Bandit leader (Party): A few summoned beasts. There may be one or two more players behind the wagons, but there can't be more than that.
It is a boon for the bandits. Like NPCs, summons have stats similar to players on paper, but the lack of fine-grained controls mean they are somewhat weaker in practice. Combined with the current 10-to-1 numerical advantage, it will be a complete annihilation for those poor merchants.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
_ Bandit #2 (Party): Are you going to extort them first?
_ Bandit leader (Party): Nah. Small caravans wouldn't have much on them anyway. Have the eastern group attack the left wagon on 3.
_ Bandit #2 (Party): Kk. Ready when you are.
_ Bandit leader (Party): 1…2…3! GO GO GO!!!
_ Bandit #2 (Party): Attack attack attack!!!
Arrows, javelins, fireballs, water bullets, and even lightweight portable ballista bolts are fired en masse towards the unsuspecting caravan, with only warning signs being skill calls from magi.
_ Girls: EEK!!!
To say that the two girls driving the wagons are surprised is a big understatement. Their yelps are drowned out by the explosions going off. The amount of firepower rained upon them is overkill whether the receiving end is players or castle walls. Not the most gentlemanly way to fight, but these experienced bandits are not taking any chances with little girls anymore, thanks to a particularly traumatic encounter with one.
And yet, as the dust settles, two players scared out of their wits can be seen cowering right where they were at, the epicenter of the deadly barrage.
It was, in fact, not enough.
____________
After many days of hard work (for our contractors), we have done it.
Our own village, Sapling Garden, is complete at last!
Looking from a distance, one will see the landmass hovering above an artificial pond. We also built a massive purple-ish glowing crystal underneath the island, just to emphasize that islands, contrary to normal expectations, do not float naturally.
Shocking, I know.
The crystal is not actual crystal by the way. There's nowhere near enough left in my secret base, and they cannot be found anymore after the valley transformed into a beach. Because of such scarcity, we mined ice in cold zones and use that to build instead.
So… yeah, the massive floating crystal is just a glorified colored ice cube. A carefully sculptured one to make it look realistic, but an ice cube nevertheless. Good job, construction team!
To get to the village, flying and [Recall] are preferred. Caravans and casual roleplayers can do it the normal way which is crossing the only stone bridge to the southwest. It's a bit steep, but at the same time, it's already 200-meter long. People will probably complain even more if we try to lengthen it. Sure, there are many longer bridges in real life, though I certainly wouldn't want to cross them every day, and some caravans might have to do just that.
…I wonder if we can build a pulley elevator so that they can leave faster? It wouldn't be long before someone decides that jumping off the edge is faster than walking back, and the land value would take a dive together with those maniacs!
_ Shadyna: Do you think we should build the elevator to the left or right of the bridge?
_ Melodyn & Choruse: Middle. And please explain it first before asking.
Sorry~ And how the heck are we going to build that you beautiful psychos~?!
Once you have crossed the bridge, the village will come into view. It's nothing fancy, just stone-and-timber buildings invoking that medieval fantasy feeling. There's a big common land in the middle, surrounded by enough houses for everyone in the guild and then some for other uses. Public infrastructure is top-notch too: Water wells, paved roads, designated [Recall] area, outdoor lamps, etc… all ready and operational.
And that's only one-fourths of the available surface area of our island. The rest is reserved for future expansions. For today though, our guild's objective is empty plot of land in the middle of the village.
What's the objective? Turn the community lot into a bustling marketplace to where players from over the world will go for their grocery!
Yes, we already have the cafeteria in Tyrel for that purpose. CSF keeps getting more and more players however, so it's only a matter of time before we completely run out of capacity even in "slow" hours. That's why Hessy and other managers decided on building a grocery market to protect our market share. Can't have competitors take away our gold coins now, can we? Commence evil laughs in food monopoly~
Not only me, but everyone not on counter duty is working towards setting this place up for tomorrow's grand opening. We wanted to decorate our new workplace ourselves so the contract builders did not have a hand in any of this. From the positions of the stalls to what kind of food to be put on display, my guild members get to make their dream shop come true!
Before anyone asks, this is not going to become our main shop. That would be Tyrel's cafeteria. The market here will be mainly for selling food-related products rather than providing a social space to get daily verbal abuse, with filling stomachs as a secondary bonus.
…Dear degenerate customers, how many times do I have to remind you that we are (kind of) a [Cooking] guild first and foremost?!
As the guildmaster, I obviously have my own little stall. I asked Hessy to give me the furthest lot from the entrance however, as I am not a merchant main. No point in having the best location when I won't be tending to it the majority of the time, right?
According to the stall assignment layout, mine should be in that directi…
_ ???: Uuu… Shadynaaaaaa~~~!
_ Shadyna: Eh?
The dark elven sisters and I turn around to find
_ Shadyna: What happened?! Did you get into a fight?!
They are covered in enough soot and arrows to become part of the fantasy sea urchin population. It's as if an army was fighting an ancient dragon, then both decided that they would rather bully innocent girls of the neighborhood instead.
Considering how events in this game are organized, such scenario is… not that far-fetched, unfortunately. On the other hand, my apprentices should be no stranger to being swarmed by hostiles, and they were only transporting goods from the cafeteria to the village. How in the world did they end up more tattered than the time they went against the whole player base in the middle of Tyrel?!
_ Poltea: Uh-uhm… we were attacked on the way here. A lot of players hid in the grass and suddenly charged at us. I couldn't raise my shields in time…
…Welp, we focused so much on improving their combat abilities, we never got around to teach them tactical senses to make use of said abilities!
_ Shadyna: Well, at least you are alive and the wagons are safe… What happened to the assailants?
_ Fensen: We beat them!
Now that's more like my cute little terminators~ Getting blasted by an alpha strike sucks, but gameplay-wise, it wouldn't do much against the armors I personally crafted for them. All that's left after the initial surprise is mopping up operation, with extreme prejudice.
_ Poltea: Y-yes, we defeated most of the enemies… I think. Then Nerin and
Right. Just like me, the duo usually has their own escorts. Why did they go back to Tyrel though? Don't tell me…
_ Choruse: They are most likely carrying out an anti-PK mission.
Knew it!
_ Melodyn: Guildmaster, let us join them to murde… avenge
Your desires are leaking there,
Well, I do understand the sentiments. My guild members were attacked unilaterally after all. Pacifist or not, I cannot just let this matter slide, otherwise there will be more maniacs picking a fight with us, thinking we're easy preys.
Un, let's have a nice talk with those bandits. I'm sure we can reach an understanding after a heartfelt discussion.
While having [Solar Radiance] on.
*BONK*
Ouch!!! Enemy attack?!
Or so I thought, but it was actually the scary blonde waitress who snuck up on us from behind.
_ Shadyna: That hurt, Hessy! What are you doing that for?!
_ Hessy: That's my line. Could you NOT burn down the capital the day before our opening? Leave the anti-PK to those two. They will call for backup if needed. Until then, focus on the task at hand.
_ Choruse: …Leader, we did just that in the Apostle of Light event.
_ Melodyn: It's part of our reputation at this point.
_ Melodyn & Choruse: So it's totally fine if we do it again.
_ Hessy: AS IF!!!
*THWACK* *THWACK*
Scary~~~
_ Hessy:
_ Shadyna: Roger~
No need for bodyguards when everyone in line of sight is your bodyguard huh. Oh well, I plan to spend the day building my dream fish stall anyway.
_ Fensen: Uhm… What should we do now?
_ Hessy: Ah, right. You can leave the wagons here. Your designated lot is next to
_ Fensen: Yay~! Let's go,
_ Poltea: Not that way,
Looks like it's going to be little girls' day out, and certainly not a peaceful one, figuratively speaking!
And so, the innocent girls of the neighborhood leave the area so that Hessy can enjoy her quality time with two busty dark elf sisters, whatever that entails~
They might want to pull the swords out first though.
_ Hessy (PM): Almost forgot to tell you, but selling fish is not allowed. Please keep that in mind.
…Eh?
EEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH?!?!?!
____________
It's about time she gives up, thinks the virtual administrator as she examines her task list.
The damage-over-time field in the void has been removed in preparation for the upcoming patches. However, it has been established as a death zone among players after their last disastrous attempt. As a result, Sateri needs a way to inform the player that it's safe to explore again… for now.
That was when she decided to involve
Yes, she had to make a practically impossible quest. Not going to take a chance anymore. The last time she gave a tedious but still feasible one, the maniac just grinded through the whole thing! Take a clue already, you sprouty dummy!
While the personality module is busy ranting alone as per usual, the analysis module has already begun the hard work.
[Finished scanning current status of [Void]. Returning query result from zone.]
…Ladles?
--- Topic: Bounty Hunter Headquarter thread ---
## Heaven Piercer
Thread for discussing the latest bounty hunting news! Can't let those PKers have the jump on us! (屮ﾟДﾟ)屮
The current bounty board can be found here: [Link]. Post here or PM me if you need someone dead, maybe even more than once.
Good luck and good hunting!
##
…
## Bountiful Hunter
Guys, add the operating area to the bounty description if possible. The targets can Recall to many settlements these days so camping in Tyrel is not as effective as before.
##
## Maximus Archery
Got a few. Proof: [Pic] [Pic] [Pic] [Pic] [Pic] [Pic]
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## Flame knight of Darkness
(ﾟДﾟ)
Did… did you just wander around with the list open and kill everyone that fit the bill or something?
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## Bountiful Hunter
One of the top ten bounties is turning in bounties. This is awkward… (°_°>)
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## JigglingPouch
@Heaven Piercer: I would like to put up a bounty for these guys [Pics]. 5 silver coins for each recent screenshot and coordinates of any of them. No need to kill them. We will handle that ourselves. Report here or to anyone in Sapling Cuisine.
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## GoldBar9999
Thanks @Maximus Archery. That should teach them not to PK our customers.
@JigglingPouch: …I'm scared to ask, but what in the world did those guys do to Sapling Cuisine that warrants a bounty? They were already dead in the photos! (￣□￣;)
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## JigglingPouch
@GoldBar9999 Bullying little girls.
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## Heaven Piercer
@Bountiful Hunter: Max's been in this work since beta. We just didn't broadcast it on the board.
@JigglingPouch: Completely understandable. RIP those guys ヽ(´▽`)/
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