[Error: Unable to establish connection to server.]
Eh?
For some reason I cannot login. The net can be accessed just fine so it's the game's problem, not mine. Considering how the world's infrastructure has improved greatly in the last few years, it's rare to have disconnections anyway.
Checking the game's website, there's a notice for an unscheduled maintenance. It started this morning and is planned to last a full day.
Did something happen to the company? CSF was advertised to have no-maintenance updates, which means it unlikely to be new contents. And today is weekend, one of the worst days for games to close. Any sane businessman would never allow it except for emergencies.
Sateri didn't turn into a killer AI hell-bent on destroying civilization, right…?
More importantly… My date with Elri, completely sabotaged~
I know it couldn't be helped, but this really put me in a bind as I have no way to contact her in real life…
Un, let's ask everyone if they use any online messenger later. For now though, I'll just sleep, like a normal person at night.
____________
Okay, Shadyna the innocent maiden has finally logged on for her first date~!
…Almost a day late, and this was NOT because of me putting on makeup. Well, that's what you have to suffer to date cute girls~ (no, it's not).
_ Elri: Why are you already so smug right off the bat…
_ Shadyna: Because it's a date~ I even dressed up for this occasion too!
_ Elri: That is supposed to be your main costumes from now on!
I am wearing the winner outfit from the other day's show. Ignoring the democratic election process that gave it the "winner" title, it is undeniably the one I like the most. It's normal to wear your cutest outfit on this special day after all!
…Although, if I was a protagonist in a romance plot and see my partner wearing black on our date, I would have to double check whether I am involved with a psychopath who love me dead in addition to loving me to death.
The veil is not helping either. Welp.
_ Shadyna: I will make a similar set for daily use. This one is for ceremony purpose only~
After all, the outfits were not made with boss-grade materials, not to mention the need to remake my equipment once in a while to keep up with the meta. I would rather keep the original, since everyone worked hard for it, and have an up-to-date set that will be used and scrapped on a daily basis.
_ Elri: Keep the technicalities to pacifism!
_ Shadyna: Aw, Elri is no fun. This is our date, so at least try to be a bit more cheerful~
_ Hessy: I don't want to be that person but… with the amount of people you are having, isn't it a mixer rather than date?
At least call it a party!
_ Mera: And
I'm not even a participant?! And what the hell do you mean, "usual"?! What have you been doing in real life, you crazy sadist!!!
_ Hessy: Not everyone has logged in yet, so enjoy your date until then. Just don't go off too far.
_ Shadyna: Alright~! Elri, let us go shopping! We are not going back without a full arsenal for the war!
_ Elri: Shouldn't it be clothing normally…? And I don't even want to know which war you are talking about.
Oh right, I have not told anyone about my "deal" with Sateri. Then again I have no idea what it entails. There's nothing we can do except for grinding as usual.
_ Mera: Hessy~ here's the shopping list.
_ Hessy: Why are you giving it to me?
_ Mera: Be~cause~ two cute girls on the street will be hit on. We need someone to clean up the criminals' corpses.
Aren't you implying something really scary about Elri there?!
_ Hessy: That includes you too,
Mind reading is a violation of privacy!
…
And so… Double date that is!
Double, as in I am being accompanied by two blond beauties. Since we are in the market, the bulk of
The degenerates don't seem as happy when they spot me standing between my partners. That's right, I deliberately appeared late to crush their hopes and dreams, evil laughing~
I just wanted to make fun of them a little bit, but now they are glaring daggers at me! What the hell guys? These ladies are with me on their own accord!
_ Elri: Uhm…
_ Hessy: Don't mind them. It's
_ Elri: Uh, they are the boobs-obsessed maniacs. Wouldn't they…
_ Hessy: Don't. Mind.
I sure don't mind them either~
_ Shadyna: Oh~, there's [Snow]! I didn't know it was a thing!
_ Elri: Well duh, the mountain range where it spawns is a new zone.
Somehow I am not surprised. She's an energetic child after all.
_ Hessy: Containers made with them extend food's expiration time, while food made with them… expires way too fast.
Maybe I should make some meals with lava to see if it doesn't cool off and has longer expiration…?
[Shadyna's chilli sauce], your tongue will literally melt from the taste~, or something along those lines.
_ Elri: Since we are here, why don't we look for a weapon
_ Hessy: Huh…? Oh, you still use that knife. Is it made from [Artifact] materials?
_ Shadyna: No, I just never had to use weapon…
_ Hessy: …Right, you are categorized as artillery.
How mean~
_ ???: Leader, doing this and that behind the first wife's back is not cool.
Enemy attack?!
_ Elri: HIYA!?
A wild hammer-wielding waitress has popped up from behind! Also, that's some quality scream you have there Elri~
*BONK*
And Hessy's fist descends in retaliation just as sudden as the ambush!
_ Miel: Ow… Domestic violence is illegal.
_ Hessy: Self-defense is not, you idiot! How many times do I have to drill into your head that jump scare is NOT a proper greeting!?
That monotone "ow" is not proper either, ju~st saying.
Mister merchant, I don't mind you listening, but what is that "10/10" board for…?
_ Shadyna: Hiyo,
_ Miel: Good day, everyone.
_ Elri: What's the point of saying "Good day" after giving us a heart attack?! Why are you here anyway?
_ Miel: I was on an errand when I saw you chea… went out, so I tagged along… from a distance, silently.
Yes, officer, this stalker right here!
_ Elri: Shouldn't have asked…
It can't be helped…
Triple date it is!
Background merchants, feel free to ramp up your jealousy!
…
_ Miel: The balance is off.
_ Elri: Did we expect anything else?
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
This is just a smaller reality show held the other day, but for weapons!!!
Miss blacksmith, your "I know how you feel" face is not helping!
_ Hessy: Battle axes are out then.
Why is it my fault? You all forced me to wield this bulky axe in the first place!
_ Miel: That is admittedly too big for her right now. Let's switch to this one. Long and hard it is.
_ Elri: Call it a staff like a normal person would do! Wouldn't a spear be better though?
This is going to take a while isn't it…
While they are lost in their own world, I open up my character menu. Might as well deal with this now…
[Profession change available]
Un, it's that time of the progression again.
After getting to level 15 thanks to the battle in the arid area, I received that message. Knowing what awaits, I have been putting it off. It's inevitable, but hey, the longer I can run away from it the better, right~?
Now, Sateri, what do you have in store?
[Available profession:
- Apprentice farmer
- Apprentice miner
- Apprentice butcher
…
]
Hello there, misleading "Apprentice" professions~
The list which was already long back then is longer than ever. At this rate I might spend a whole day just reading the list in late game…
I'll worry about it when it becomes an issue. Procrastination is at its best today as well~
The not-so-normal professions are multiplying in number too huh…
- Apprentice hero
- Apprentice terminator
- Apprentice zero
- Heretic wretch
- Illusive Sprout
- Maiden of Purity
- Black Mantis
- Particle lolider
- NTRampage
- ???
The forum's nicknames do not get an upgrade, surprisingly. I was worried that they would become something like "Illusive Seedling" or "Blackhole generator". Luckily, that wasn't the case.
…Since when did my standards drop so low, I actually thought [Particle lolider] wasn't that bad? Brainwash? Is Sateri brainwashing me?!
[Heretic wretch] and [Maiden of Purity] are most likely from my titles, [Goddess Corrupter] and [Purity of Innocence]. While I don't particularly dislike them, I would rather not have these displayed whenever players use [Inspect] on me. Explaining either of them will be a royal pain in my cute butt.
"Hey, why are you calling yourself a maiden?" - Like hell I can answer that question, you imaginary weirdo!!!
In other news, where did [Black Mantis] come from? Mantises are stealthy predators so… it's from the titles giving sneak bonuses? But it doesn't explain the "Black" part. There's no species called black mantis, right? Mysterious, mysterious~
Okay, who the heck thought of the [NTRampage]? [Particle lolider] is one thing, but this one is borderline adult content! Weirdoes in the forum, are you trying to up the game's minimum age to play?!
If I find out who suggested this one, I am going to blast them to dust, repeatedly, until this jerk makes up for half of the game's respawn rate!
As for the last one… Seriously? [???]? What is this supposed to mean?! Is this some hidden profession that is only revealed when I select it, or is it literally [???]?!
Tempted as I am to get [???] out of sheer curiosity, I am not sure whether [Absolute Zero] will get removed on me doing so… Unlike pacifist uh… workarounds, I am the only player with this title. I can't risk losing it for something that doesn't have any known effect. Heck, the player base still has no idea what professions are for!
[A random profession will be chosen. Continue?] [Y/N]
Ah, by the way, in the rare chance that I actually get [NTRampage], I am going to change to another profession, forcefully.
How? By leveling up to the next profession change level (25, I think?). Because going to a hunting zone is a pain, I am inclined to use other players as target to perform various "activities" to gain experience. On that note, the town sure has a lot of people, doesn't it~?
Just a friendly reminder to Sateri's RNG, really~
[Profession changed to
Un, thank you for your cooperation. Saying that, is your RNG truly random, Sateri? This is the second time it picked a suspiciously conspicuous profession as if to troll me. Hmm…
Closing the menu, I find a wild
_ Miel: Boo.
ARE YOU TRYING TO SEND ME TO ANOTHER WORLD?!
_ Hessy: Cut that out. Do you have a death wish or something?
Sighing like a mother watching her older child playing prank on the younger cute little sibling, Hessy grabs
Shouldn't she be more worried about mental wellbeing of the poor bullied sister first…?
_ Shadyna:
_ Miel: Don't worry, I made sure no one was in your reach beforehand.
How about not doing it in the first place? Enjoying the suffering of others is Mera's job, not yours!
_ Elri: Everyone's logged in. Let us go back to the tavern.
And Elri is the eldest sister who just ignores the quarrel and watches tearjerker drama on TV… Where did the usual kind elf go~?
_ Elri: I will die from blood pressure if I have to mind everything around you,
Sad face~
Because walking is for the weak, we use [Recall] tablets to return, along with the wagon.
Wait, wagon? Where did it come from?!
____________
In a player-built encampment on a certain snowy mountain…
_ Player: Over there is our command tent. Because everyone uses it to [Recall], please do not blast it like the other day.
_ Fensen: Got it!
_ Poltea: We will keep it in mind, Mister Corpse.
_ Corpse player: I'm telling you, I'm not dead at the moment so drop that name already!
It was not his fault that he was dropped in front of these girls back then. Nevertheless, "Mister Corpse" is now his (un)official new name in their minds.
The other players accompanying him just shrugged and went on. They have better things to do than dying to these little destroyers' shenanigans.
_ Rogue: Who told you about this place by the way?
_ Fensen: We were walking around to hunt then saw the big gate!
_ Corpse player: *Mumbling* Again.
Having witnessed what
_ Poltea: Mister Corpse, what is that over there?
She points at the construction site at the peak of the mountain. Many players are using [Construction] to build the scaffoldings and wooden walls around the site at the center. Others are crafting food and potions to fight against the cold damage in this zone.
It would be correct to say that the whole camp itself is to support whatever
_ Corpse player: That's what you came for. The excavation site to the next unique boss.
_ Fensen: Oh! Is it a Magnus Bestia like Schennul?!
_ Corpse player: Beats me. We just know "something" big is right below us, thanks to [Detect Presence].
_ Poltea: But we just came here to see the camp…
Looking at
_ Fensen: Can I see it? Please~?
_ Corpse player: I don't see why not. It's not like we could sto…
_ Fensen: Thank you~! Weeeeeeee~!
The girl with a whole squadron's worth of cannons has dashed away with her pets before he could finish the sentence. It is a mystery how she can run so fast with such heavy luggage on her, but everyone decides not to question it too much.
_ Poltea: Not again…
_ Corpse player: You have my sympathy.
_ Fensen:
_ Corpse player: Déjà vu…
_ Rogue: Well duh, if we had reached it we would be fighting instead of digging, don't you think?
_ Fensen: Oh~ I didn't think of that!
_ Poltea: Don't be so proud of it!
_ Corpse player: Anyway, it will take a few days most likely. This mountain is really tall after all.
Less sorry when he sees the beetles standing behind however.
_ Fensen: Ah, can I help with the digging?
_ Corpse player: …What?
_ Fensen: I want to see the boss! So I will help!
_ Corpse player: Uh… that's not the problem here… This mountain is a big iceberg below the snow, so it's hard to dig even with [Mining] gear…
_ Fensen: Leave it to me! I still have a few dozen barrels left at home, I think. [Recall]!
Plopping down a wooden mat, she disappears in a flashing light.
Mister Corpse turns to
_ Corpse player: Is she always like that?
_ Poltea: …I'm sorry.
_ Corpse player: You have it tough too huh.
The [Recall] light reappears a minute later on the placed mat, with the cannon girl rushing back to the digging site, both hands holding a big crystalline barrel.
Curiosity gets the better of the bystanders, so they begin gathering to see what she has in mind. In that short moment, they forgot who these girls are.
_ Poltea:
_ Fensen: Just look. Here. I. Go~!
She begins dumping the hot steamy content into the dug hole with a smile on her face.
_ Fensen: If you want to quickly melt ice, just bring in the lava!
New barrels manifest into her hands as the emptied ones break into particles and go back to her inventory. It is a pool worthy amount of lava the little girl just somehow dragged back from wherever she teleported to.
_ Everyone: Oh!
_ Poltea: That's… actually not a bad idea.
_ Fensen: Ehehe~
With a thick steam cloud rising up from the bottom of the dig site, they know Sateri-chan's immersive physics engine has given the OK.
_ The poor miner #1: IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!! Why is lava coming from above?!
_ The poor miner #2: RUN FOR IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
_ The poor miner #1: The only place to run is up! *Agonizing incoherent screaming*
_ Everyone: Ah…
They had forgotten to evacuate the players working there.
_ Fensen: Uh-oh…
_ Poltea: …We are really sorry!
Because no one noticed that in the first place, they let it slide and consider the whole accident as "acceptable losses for the sake of progress".
Not because they have no chance against the criminals, really.
____________
The tavern is quiet, despite the amount of players in there. Most just walk in, get their food, then leave.
_ Olkan: Well, this is depressing.
_ Maximus: Do you want these idiots to ogle you instead?
_ Tippe: Barf.
_ Blacksmith: What the hell am I looking at…
The blacksmith was confused to see her guildmaster tending the tavern, again.
_ Olkan: Yo.
_ Blacksmith: Crafting food please. Also, here's this week's rent.
_ Olkan: Ah, thanks. To pay so early, did you get a generous customer?
_ Blacksmith: Uh huh. That little sprout girl, she bought enough weapons for a full guild. Only beginner weapons, but still…
_ Olkan: And you are not suspicious at all?!
No matter how one looks at it, a single person should never need that many weapons. Especially when she's a pacifist, capable of crafting better stuff, and worst of all, has a tendency to break the game's balance.
_ Gossiping summoner: Particle lolider is arming an army! War is coming!!!
_ Gentleman warrior: After which I will attend my daughter's wedding, then retire!
_ Olkan: C-calm down! Did she tell you what she was going to do with that armory?
_ Blacksmith: Nah… Ah, before she left, her feet start emitting a black cloudy glow. Didn't look like runes, although her party members didn't say anything about it either.
_ Olkan: Isn't that just because they gave up?!
_ Gossiping summoner: She is becoming the last boss! The end is nigh!
_ Knight: Does she attack by stepping on others? Asking for a friend.
And with that, the tavern is back to life. Or rather, everyone is in panic mode already.
_ Ignar: Her glowing ominously is not surprising, but what does she need from beginner weapons?
_ Maximus: How would I know what that brat was thinking? Heh, she might just want to swing them for fun.
--- Topic: Tips and tricks ---
## Fire mage of Justice
With the new changes in meta, we are going to see emerging… in-game life hacks, simply put. Tell us what your secrets to make your life easier!
##
## Mage of Sin
Alchemy bombs have cooldown now, but take some time to set up traps and you can get just as many explosions going off as before.
Allies being caught up while luring mobs to the traps are optional. _(._.)_
##
## Deeply Intelligent
If you have a hard time dealing with simulated pains, there's an option to tone it down.
Very useful to keep oneself calm when you are being melted and frozen to death at the same time.
##
## Manly Warrior
That was… oddly specific. (°_°)
##
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--- Topic: Illusive Sprout General Topic #3 ---
## CuteIsJustice
There's a rumor that Illusive Sprout is developing a foot fetish. I got this pic from an anonymous source as proof (Please don't kill me, oh great sprout) <(_ _)>
[Pic]
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## Bountiful Hunter
She also changed profession to Black Mantis, the voted name for the winner outfit in her fashion show.
The meta is leaking to Sateri-chan again!
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## Silver Merchant
The NTRampage one didn't appear for her as an available profession right? Right?
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## Newbie Charisma build
Why don't you ask her directly?
I'll dig a grave for you in advance, just in case. (^^)/~
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